03x20 - Girls' Night Out

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Five more miles, missy.
Hey, you should be happy.

If GothCorp Labs can undo your condition,

you could be back to normal
this time tomorrow.

- If you ever were normal.
- Yeah, I love you too, jerk-face.

- Metropolis S.C.U. What's the problem?
- Accident up ahead. Where you heading?

Escorting a prisoner
to GothCorp for treatment.

Go ahead. Just watch out
for the downed power lines.

Hello.

Come on.

- MAN: What the--
- Whoa!

Whoa!

Huh? What?

- And the hits just keep on coming.
- (GROANS)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

The driver's recovered, and there's
been no trace of Livewire since.

I'll be back in Gotham
in less than hours.

In the meantime, be careful.

I'll see about getting you
some special help.

If I need it. She's probably on her way
back to Metropolis right now.

Or not.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Just what I need,
another killjoy in a cape.

- (GASPS)
- (TIRES SCREECHING)

(GASPS)

Hi, I'm Livewire.

We haven't been formally introduced,
so I'm taking the initiative.

(GRUNTS)

KARA: Yeah, Ma, I would be
housesitting for Clark

the one week Metropolis is dead quiet.

Yeah, so far the biggest thrill
has been reading... Uh, sorting his mail.

- (LINE BEEPS)
- Oops.

That's another call.
I'll talk to you later.

Hello, Dullsville Central.

- BATMAN: Is Clark Kent there?
- No, may I ask who's calling?

BATMAN: A friend. It's critical
that he gets this message.

- sh**t.
- Livewire has escaped in Gotham.

If he wants to get on top of the story,
he needs to get there right away.

- Do you understand?
- Who is this? Sounds like a cape to me.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

(STRUGGLING)

(COUGHING)

Nice move. Here's one of mine.

(COUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

Fried bat, hot off the grill.

- Supergirl?
- That's me.

(GROANS)

At least Superman had the smarts
to keep his distance. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Half the size, half the strength
and, apparently, half the brain.

(GROANING)

Ow! Ever see what happens to a bug
that gets caught in the fly zapper?

Oops, lunch break.
Catch you later, babies.

- (GROANS)
- Welcome to Gotham.

(INDISTINCT POLICE RADIO CHATTER)

- So she smoked you.
- We put up a fight.

And lost. I never thought I'd hear myself
saying this, but where's the Bat?

- We're handling this.
- Oh, that's reassuring.

Don't let that donut dunker get to you.

We're gonna have this whole thing sewn up
before Batman and Superman get back.

Sure. How hard can it be?
Two against one, right?

Right.

(HYENA LAUGHING)

(PANTING)

(YELPS AND WHIMPERS)

Your hyenas have been watering
my plants again.

One more time, and they're mulch.

Come on, Red, give 'em a break.
We're all bored cooped up in here.

What do you say we get dolled up
and go into town?

America's most-wanted women
on a shopping spree. Cute.

I've told you a thousand times,
we have to keep a low profile.

We can't attract Batman's attention
until we have some kind of an edge.

Well, ladies, meet your edge.

(GRUNTING)

She tries so hard.

(GRUNTING CONTINUES)

- One side, there. Okay, cupcake?
- (SHRIEKS)

POISON IVY: Really like the way
you handle your powers.

Stop, I'm blushing.

- Halt. I mean, stop. I mean...
- (g*n COCKS)

You don't wanna sh**t
little old us, do you?

(GULPS)

(KISSES)

Mmm-mmm.

(MOANS AND GROANS)

Didn't think so.

LIVEWIRE: An empty mall,
an unguarded cash machine...

Who says life ain't fair?
Shall we, babies?

Nice, but messy.

(HARLEY GRUNTING)

At least she's consistent.

(SCREAMS)

Pick up the cash and load it into the car.
I'm going shopping.

When did we become the g*ng?

- Wow, this is incredible.
- SUPERGIRL: I know. It's my favorite part.

Look.

Hang on.

Hmm... Too dark.

Too light.

Let me guess, that one is just right.

What's the matter,
didn't get enough last time?

Ah! Playing hard to get.

(GROANS)

Gotcha now.

(SCREAMS AND GROANS)

Hey! (COUGHING)

What is this stuff?

Silicate dust,
completely electrically resistant.

You're grounded.

- (GRUNTS)
- (GROANS)

End of story.

POISON IVY: Sorry, just the first chapter.

- BATGIRL: Ivy? Harley?
- Friends?

Not mine.

(BLOWS)

What's this supposed to...

Hey!

(STRUGGLING)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

Yo, Sparky, up and at 'em.

(SCREAMING)

Are you out of your mind?

Yeah.

Get me out of here. Now.

(GRUNTS)

(SUPERGIRL GRUNTING)

Well, fire two.

Thank you for being
so predictable, Supergirl.

You just released the most virulent
allergenic pollen in the floral kingdom.

The reaction is quite deadly,
as your playmate is finding out.

(COUGHING AND GRUNTING)

(COUGHING)

Hold on.

(COUGHING CONTINUES)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

- HARLEY: Hop in, Red.
- (HORN HONKS)

What's with her?

She shopped till she dropped.

(BARBARA BREATHING HEAVILY)

(BEEPS)

So you know how to work all this stuff?

It's my job. I'm a systems
and data analyst at police headquarters.

Aside from paying my rent,
it gives me access to all police activity.

- From here?
- Yeah. I can hack in whenever I want.

Just don't tell my dad.

- Your life is so cool.
- Yeah, well...

- So how about you?
- Well, I kind of live on a farm.

A farm? Like chickens and cows and stuff?

Yeah. What about it?

Fresh air. Early to bed, early to rise.
None of this constant night work.

No big-city congestion. You are so lucky.

I've got a lot of chores.

Chores? Man, I always
wanted to have chores.

(BOTH SIGH)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

- I guess what they say is true.
- The grass is always greener...

So, what are we gonna do now?

BATGIRL: We're going to find them.
Under whatever rock they're hiding.

Ain't this place great, Sparky?
Look at the iceberg.

They got real seals in there.
(IMITATES SEAL BARKING)

- Yeah, and lots of water.
- Ah, come on, wet your whistle.

- I don't do liquids!
- Hey! I said I was sorry.

- Dry up!
- (GASPS)

You know, Livewire,
you could show a little appreciation.

Without us, you'd be a dead battery.

I'll show you how dead I am.

POISON IVY: Ooh,
that sounds like a challenge.

Oy!

Ladies, ladies, please.
I run a respectable club here.

No one's talking to you, lard butt.

That's it, out you three pixies go.

This could be fun after all.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

PENGUIN: That's right.
I need chain saws, dump trucks,

hedge clippers and a bottle of aspirin
down here. Now.

(GROANING)

We're closed. Besides, you aren't even
old enough to come in here.

- Wanna see my ID?
- No.

I want Batman, Superman
or someone who can do something.

Like it or not, we're all you've got.

You either play with us
or give up the game.

Oh, all right.
Not that I know anything, mind you.

- Of course not.
- But I do hear rumors

about where our green little vixen
and her jaded jester may be hiding.

So this is home sweet home, huh?
I guess it's okay, if you're into green.

You're not gonna get all hissy
and rude again,

- now that we've kissed and made up?
- No, but I could do without the mutts.

(HYENAS LAUGHING)

b*at it!

- Hey!
- She has a point, Harl.

(SCREECHING)

What's with the rhubarb?

We've got visitors.

- How much silicate do you have?
- Enough to cover a house.

If Livewire gets within feet,
she's neutralized. Shall we?

- See something?
- SUPERGIRL: Yeah.

They know we're here! (SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

So much for master plans.

You take Super-snot. I want Batsy.

- (GROANS)
- Ha!

(GRUNTS)

(YELPS)

Circus time, sweetie.

(GROANING)

(YELLS)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTS)

- Overstepping yourself a little?
- Try me.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS AND GROANS)

Okay, honey, the gloves are off.

(SCREAMS AND GROANS)

(GRUNTING)

(GASPS) My baby!

(SUPERGIRL GRUNTING)

(GRUNTS)

(STRUGGLING)

It had to end sometime, Bratgirl.

Ah, no.

(GRUNTS)

(LIVEWIRE SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(PLANTS SCREECHING)

Livewire, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn.
So who was responsible for the collar?

- Just a couple of rookies.
Rookies?

- You bum!
- Impressive.

Well, they show some potential.

- BOTH: Yes!
- (LAUGHS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)