03x10 - Curse of the Kobra Pt. 1

[bunniefuu]

[VEHICLE HONKING]

Sorry.

No deliveries after 5.

Give me a break, will you?
I was stacked up for hours on the I-17.

What am I gonna do with these isotopes?
Okay.

Loading Dock 5.

Thanks.



You've got two minutes.

Keep the engine running.

The R-12 thermal b*mb.

That'll keep you toasty on a cold winter night.



Hurry! [CLANGS]

I believe that's government property.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Didn't even break a sweat.

[GRUNTS]

Oh! [GROANING]

[GROANS]

Get up, let's go.

[MOANING]

I know, I know.

I screwed up bigtime.

Ow! This will keep the swelling down.

You're thinking, "How could he let Kobra get away with a b*mb that can incinerate half the East Side?
" Because I'm a hopeless loser, that's why.

Actually, I was thinking you should meet an old friend of mine.

Who?
[JAPANESE ACCENT]

Fresh fishy! Best in Gotham.

Get your fresh fishy.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for Kairi Tanaga.

You want halibut?
Caught fresh today.

Uh, no, thanks.

Maybe rock cod.

I give you good price.

Look, I don't need fish.

Bruce Wayne sent me.

Ah.

What you want in back.

Follow me.



Wait here.



[SCREAMS]



WOMAN: Enough.

[GROANS]

[AMERICAN ACCENT]

Bruce was right.

You've got the moves, kid, but you lack discipline.

And you leave yourself open on the left side.

Ow! We'll have to work on that.

Who are you?
Kairi Tanaga.

Years ago, Bruce and I studied together under the same sensei.

Now I run this dojo.

What happened to your accent?
It helps sell fish.

This is where we train.

Zander is one of my advanced students.

Not bad.

Can you teach me?
Only if you'll follow my directions without question.

Eel juice?
Yeah.

And brown rice and tofu.

Mmm.

Tasty.

Bruce is sending me to this old guru to brush up on my martial arts.

Schway.

You know, I could use some new moves myself.

Ha! Hiya! You think this new guru could [GROANS]

Never mind.

[GRUNTING]

Keep your chin up.

It's all about balance.

[SCREAMS]

No fair.

Fair?
The only fair around here is in September.

Deal with it.

[SIGHS]

Hey, Zander.

Good workout.

Stand aside.

[GRUNTS]

Who d*ed and made him king of the world?
BRUCE: So how are the lessons going?
Fine, if you're into constant ridicule and humiliation.

I don't think I'm ever gonna get it.

Patience.

Any leads on that b*mb yet?
[GRUNTS]

Hey! Are you okay?
No time left.

No time for any of us.



There! No! [MOANS]

[SIGHS]

Search him.

That's it.

Let's go.

[MOANING]

[GROANS]

TERRY: A thermal b*mb I can understand, but since when is Kobra into street muggings?
Obviously he had something they wanted.

The police identified him as Dr.

Padu Banjahri.

He's a paleontologist at the Natural History Museum.

Maybe it's time for a field trip.

Terry.

Look.

[SQUAWKING]

Isn't she adorable?
They're always cute when they're little.

[RUMBLING]

[ROARS]

Come on.

MAN [OVER SPEAKER]

: By jealously protecting their young, these carnivores thrived in the primordial subtropicalheat and ruled the world for millions of years.

Way schway display.

Dr.

Banjahri's office should be down this way.

Hey, what are you doing here?
Uh, just admiring your work.

A pachytene sibilasorous, isn't it?
Why, yes.

How did you know?
I'm into fossils.

Nice femur.

Where'd you find it?
Actually, it's a rather fascinating story.

I was looking for an iguana down in Wyoming when I noticed this striated ridge just off to the west.

Really?
Somehow I had a hunch I might find something interesting there, so I started digging.

[WHISPERS]

I'm in.

What was Banjahri working on?
One second.

I'm checking his files.

Got it.

Whoa.

Interesting.

I think he was recovering ancient dinosaur DNA.

DNA and thermal bombs?
What's the connection?
[STUDENTS GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

Still not right, McGinnis.

Take a dinner break, then we'll try again.

What, no strong-arm g*ons tonight?
Sorry.

Sometimes my guardians can be overprotective.

Rice cake?
Thanks.

[SWALLOWS]

What I wouldn't give for a nice greasy slice of pizza.

Pizza?
Mm, I've heard of it.

You're kidding, right?
I'm afraid not.

That's criminal.

Everybody loves pizza.

My life is different.

Ever since I was born, I've been groomed to lead my people.

You mean, like a prince?
Sort of.

That's no reason to deny yourself one of the greatest pleasures in life.

How are you gonna be a leader if you've never even eaten pizza?
What do you suggest?
So here's the plan: We go in, grab a slice, and get out.

No one will ever know we were gone, right?
What are they doing?
Playing vid-games.

Wanna try?
Yes.

Hey, Ter, who's your friend?
Max, this is Zander.

He's a total newbie.

Wanna show him some levels while I snag a pizza?
Today you will become a man, my son.

What?


[GRUNTS]

Ha! Got you! Wanna bet?
Huh?
What?
[SCREAMS]

Game over.

Who's bad?
Who's rad?
Who's never been had?
Whoo! But I never lose.

There's a first time for everything, sport.

You don't understand.

I can't lose.

[LAUGHS]

It's just a game, Zandy.

Get over it.

Besides, the pizza's here.

[GRUNTS]

All right.

But then we play again.

It's your funeral.

Is she always like this?
Afraid so.

I don't remember ordering bacon on my pizza.

Oh, no.

And where's the double pepperoni?
That's ours.

Is it?
Oh, silly me.

Give the man his pizza.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Easy, Zander.

And just to show there's no hard feelings, we'll even help you clean up.

[GRUNTS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

What's your hurry, pizza puss?
Get him! [ALL GROANING]

Not funny, man.

Wait! I'll show you funny.

[GRUNTING]

Stop, you'll k*ll him! [g*n ZAPS]

I was handling them.

That's not the point.

You left the dojo without an escort.

How could you have taken such a risk?
It was my idea.

You will come with us immediately.

Do you understand?
Yes.

Wait a second.

This doesn't concern you.

[GRUNTING]

Where's Zander?
He won't be coming to class anymore.

Why?
His guardians felt my supervision was somewhat negligent.

I'm sorry.

Don't sweat it.

There wasn't much more I could have done for him, anyway.

His path was already chosen for him.

[COUGHS]

[ALL GRUNTING]

Hail, Kobra.

Hail, Kobra.

Aren't they ready yet?
A leader must learn patience.

Don't lecture me.

I assure you that preparations are nearly complete.

You see?
[GROANING]

[CHOKING AND GASPING]

How much more time do we have?
There's one last thing I want to do.

I can't imagine what that would be.

I've anticipated your every need.

Have you, doctor?
Maybe it's for the best, you know?
I got kind of a weird vibe from that guy.

TERRY: Yeah, but I still feel bad about it.

Like it's all my fault.

Don't let it keep you up nights.

BRUCE: Max, get off the line.

Some of us have work to do.

Ouch.

Well, excuse me for living.

[GRUNTS]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Max.

Zander?
Here for a rematch?
Come with me.

Now.

Look, now's not a good time.

I've got a bio final tomorrow and I gotta study.

I said now.

Uh, I appreciate the interest, really.

But I'll call you, okay?
Wow.

[SCREAMS]

I won't be ignored.

Stay back.

[BEEPING]

Terry! Max, I thought I told you to stay off this line.

Get away from me! [SCREAMS]

Terry, get over to Max's! And hurry! Max?
Max!

Lose him.

[WAILS]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]