01x01 - DeeDeemensional/Dial M for Monkey: Magmanamus/Maternal Combat

[bunniefuu]

[Click]

[Click click click]

[Beeping]

Girl:
Uh...dexter?

[Grrrroww]

[Grrrroww]

Uhh!

I am afraid we have
run out of time,
dear sister.

Only one hope left.

We must send a message
to the past--

stop this
from happening.

[cr*ck]

Drat!

It is up to you,
Dee Dee.

Use my time machine.

Go back into...
The past...

And give me
this message.

Eww! Gross!

Take it!

Give it to me
in the past,

or I may not
have a future.

Dee Dee!
You have to be
inside the machine.

Like this?

I'm doomed.

[Beeping]

[Bird chirping]

Oh, Dexter, Dexter,
Dexter! Come quick!

You have to help!
It's terrible!

You sent me, and
you're all gross--

this better be
important, woman.

You are interrupting
my very delicate
calculations.

I have a message for
you from the future.

From the future, huh?

Yes. You sent me
from the future, and--

stop! If there were
a message so important

that it would require
time travel,

I certainly
would not entrust it
to my idiot sister.

I would send it myself.

In other words...

I would not send you
back in time even if--

if--if--

I was being eaten alive!

Oh, Dexter! Why are you
being so horrible?

Please. I do not have time
for your tears.

Why don't you
go back outside
and talk to trees

or whatever it is
you do.

Fine! I will!
And I'm not ever
giving you the message.

Fine with me.

[Door slams]

[Door opens]

[Dee Dee crying]

Girl: What's wrong,
Dee Dee?

Dee Dee: Dexter was
just awful to me!

What did he do now?

I came all the way
from the future with
this important message,

and he started yelling!

[Dee Dee crying]

There, there.
It's all right.

You just forget
all about

mean old Dexter
and his stupid message.

Einstein's ghost!

Aah!

Future Dee Dee,
I need that message

you have brought
from the future.

Ok!

Hey! Remember
how nasty Dexter
was to you?

Hey!
That's right!

Please, future Dee Dee.

The information you hold
could alter man's destiny.

I will do anything
to possess it.

Anything?

Anything?

Anything? Anything?

Even...

[Whispering]

Ooh, I've wanted to
do that forever!

Please, Dee dees.
Anything but that.

Both Dee dees: It's that,
or no message from the future.

[Beeping]

[Theme fromswan lake
playing]

May I have my message now?

Hmm...
What message?

Arrghh!

The message
from the future!

Oh, you can't have
the message yet.

We still have
another ballet
to perform.

Another ballet?

Yup.

The nutcracker.

[Bang]

That's it! I do not care
what the future brings,

but you Dee dees
will not be in it!

[Sweetly]
Girls, would you
join me over here?

Both: Ooh!
What's this, Dexter?

Dexter: It is my yet untested
interdimensional doorway.

You are going to test it.

[Bell rings]

Step right in,
ladies.

Both:
It looks scary, Dexter.

Nonsense. Lots of fun
in the other dimension.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Both: Uh...Dexter?

[Beep beep]

[Grrrroww]

This seems
very familiar.

[expl*si*n]

Only one hope left.

I remember this part!

It is up to you,
Dee dees.

Use my time machine.

Go back into...
The past...

And give me
this message.

Message?

You meanthis

Dexter: "Dear Dexter,

"do not open
the interdimensional doorway.

"There
is a monster
inside.

Best wishes,
Dexter."

But this is the message
I just wrote!

That means that i--and she--
and then--whoaahh!

I'm doomed.

[Beep beep]

Oh, Dexter, Dexter,
Dexter! Come quick!

You have to help!
It's terrible!

You sent me and me.
You're all gross--

this better be
important, woman.

You are interrupting
my very delicate
calculations.

Dexter: After countless
experiments,

all testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities,
no physical mutations,

no nothing!

It seems you shall never
become anything more
than a mere monkey.

Monkey, this is
agent honey q.

Help us.

[Shouting
in foreign language]

[Car horns honking]

Come on!

[Continues speaking
foreign language]

♪
♪

[Tweet]

[Ruff ruff]

[Siren]

[Rat-a-tat-tat]

[Whistles blowing faintly]

[Jack hammers rattling]

[Muttering]

[Siren]

[Rarrgh]

Keep it down up there,
will youse?

I'm trying to sleep!

[Tires squeal]

[Crash]

That's it!

Ha ha ha!

Hey, I hate mondays.

Ha ha ha!

I...am...magmanamus!

And for the past years,

I have been trying
to get some rest,

but due to the constant noise

of you puny, inconsiderate
surface dwellers,

I have yet to have
a good night's sleep.

So I ask youse kindly...
Will you please be quiet?

[Silence]

Hey, that was easy.

Aah!

Everybody run!

There's a giant
monster on the loose!

No, stop, stop.

Be quiet. Shh!

Aw, man.
Shut up. Shut up.

Please shut up.

[Siren]

Aw, geez.

I said shut up!

Hey, wake up!

Come on.
Sleep time is over.

Food time is now.

We will begin your testing
as soon as you finish,

so hurry up, and--

[beeping]

Volcanic activity
downtown?

A new volcano!

Oh, boy, oh, boy!
I must check my charts.

[Ding]

Whoo Whoo Whoo!

Whoo Whoo Whoo!

Man: Evacuate city!
I repeat--evacuate city!

Oh, shut up!

Man: Ok. I'm going in.

[Grrrroww]

Quiet!

Sorry!

Shut up!

Look! It's monkey!

He'll silence
this beast for good.

Quiet, quiet, quiet
quiet, quiet!

[Ooh ooh ah ah]

Yay!
Yay!

I said shut up!

[Clang]

Ooh!

Oh! Quiet.

That's all I ask for:
A little silence.

Is that so--huh?

Whoahh!

[Ooh ooh ah ah]

[Grrrroww]

I said...Be quiet!

Whoo, monkey!
Whoo, monkey!

Quiet!

Now shut up and let me
get some sleep.

[Sobbing]

Monkey. Monkey.

Monkey.

Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!

Monkey! Monkey!
Monkey!

Aw, gee. Shut up.

Crowd: Monkey!
Monkey! Monkey!

Magmanamus: Aw, come on, people.
Is that too much to ask?

All I want
is a little sleep.

Is that so bad?

I work hard. I deserve
a little rest every eon or so.

I remember as a child
I used to sleep...

Sweet, beautiful sleep.

I used to dream.

I dreamt I was a pirate
on a ship sailing the milky way.

But not anymore.

In fact,
I don't even dream.

What am I talking about?

I don't even sleep.

Oh, woe is me!

I...uh...

I...uh...

[Snoring]

All right!
Yeah!

Way to go!

Our hero!
Whoo!

Whoo hoo!

Quiet!

[Thud]

Dexter: And so,
I end this fantastic voyage

Dexter: And so,
I end this fantastic voyage

in the organism's
Grand Canyon.

It is hard for any mere mortal
to comprehend

the infinite amount
of empty space--

[crash]

What?

I am under att*ck!

Dexter, in a tiny voice:
Mayday! Mayday! Zero-one-niner.

Dexter: Mother?

Mother?

It is past
breakfast time.

Mother: Ohh...

Mom?

What is this
strange condition?

Eyes all red
and p*ssy.

Tongue is coated.
Pulse has quickened.

What could be wrong?

Mama's sick!

You fool! Mothers
do not get sick.

They take care
of the sickly.

[Weakly]
I'm sorry, Dexter.

Ia

you'll have to
feed yourself

and keep the house
clean today.

Cooking? Cleaning?

These are not things
a little boy knows how to do!

Ok, Dexter.
You clean, and I'll cook.

Yes. Heh heh.

I'll clean.

A simple task.

Don't be skittish, Dexter.

You can clean.

Could this
strange phenomena

be the substance
mom calls du--

ack!

[Cough cough cough]

[Wheeze]

Vile thing!

That sister of mine
tried to k*ll me!

What exactly
are you making, Dee Dee?

A pie.

By any chance
that wouldn't be
apoison pie

no.

What is that white stuff
you are adding in?

Flour.

Aha! Flowers
are for smelling.

They are not
for eating.

Poison!

Not poison--flour.

Now go sit down
and let me finish.

Hmm...let's see.

[Squish]

Oh, boy,
oh, boy, oh, boy!

I can hardly wait!

[Munch crunch]

Light, flaky crust,

rich taste,

but I can't quite
place the flavor.

Is it chocolate?

No.

[Munch crunch]

Boysenberry?

No.

I give up.
What is it?

Mud!

Oh! Mud. I would
have never guessed.

[Munch crunch]

Mud?!

Ah, ptooey!
Ptooey!

That's no way to behave
while you are eating.

I am done eating, and
you are done cooking.

We are done dusting,
washing, drying.

These things are
for a mother to do...

And a mother
I shall have!

[Engine revs]

Live.

Live!

Live!

[Beeping]

It is alive!

Dee Dee?

Good. No sign of the girl.

Come into the kitchen,
momdroid.

[Beeping]

Basic motor functions,
excellent.

Incredibly lifelike.

Now, momdroid,
make me a peanut butter
and Bologna sandwich.

Not until
you clean your room.

Heh heh heh heh!

Perhaps a little
too

TV: Today, children,
we are going to continue
our discussion...

[Vacuum whirrs]

[Cough cough]

[Wheeze]

Ahh...

Zoom!

Dexter: Dee Dee!

Hand over
the control, sister.

Uh-uh!

[Gulp]

Aah!

[Click]

[Click]

[Grr]

[Rreoww]

You have struck
the final chord,
Dee Dee!

Bye, Dexter.

[Clunk clunk]

Dexter: Oh, Dee Dee.

Meet momdroid !

Dexter: Surrender
the control, Dee Dee.

[Momdroids beeping]

Dee Dee: Back off,
Dexter!

[Clicking]

Pppllll!

Maternal combat!

[Crash]

Dexter, look!

Oh, no!
It is father!

Quick, Dee Dee!
I will take care of this room.

You rebuild the kitchen.

Dee Dee?

Dee Dee!

[Humming]

Hmm...need to get
that couch reupholstered.

Hello, honey!

Hello, Dexter!

Hello, Dee Dee!

Hello, honey!

[Sizzling]

Father: Hello, honey!

Ha ha ha ha!

Enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab