01x03 - Dexter's Rival/Dial M for Monkey: Simion

[bunniefuu]

[ring]

At last! The first day
of school has come!

Hello, Dexter.

Hello, Mrs. Wolfberg.

Hey, Dexter.

Hello.

Man: Welcome back,
Dexter.

Woman: Good to have you
back, Dexter.

Teacher: Well, class,
welcome to the new year.

So, let's get
right into it. Uh, yes?

The answer is hydrogen.

Teacher: Uh, why, yes,
that is the correct answer

to the question
I was about to ask.

Oh, I almost forgot.
I wanted to introduce
our new student.

Will you come up here,
please, son?

Class, say hello
to Mr. Astronominoff.

Please, sir,
call me mandark.

[Ruff ruff]

[Neigh]

Excuse me, sir,

but may I please
relocate myself

to a closer location
to the board

so I can achieve
the optimum effect

of your education?

Uh, go ahead, mandark.

This location
will be quite adequate.

Yes, Dexter,
ica
your thoughts,

and I am smarter
than you.

This is your principal.

Welcome to the new year,
students.

Let the studies begin!

Write an essay

on what you did
this summer vacation.

Finished.

Done.

Teacher: Who wrote
the bill of rights?

Thomas Jefferson.

What is the name
of Neptune's moon?

Triton.

What kind
of triangle has--

isosceles.

Dasyurid.

The medulla oblongata.

That's incredible.

No!

I am sorry, my mentor.

I have failed you.

[Crying]

Hey, Dexter.

Huh?

Some kid told me
you have a laboratory.

A laboratory?

Dexter, your lab--
it is the one thing
he does not have,

and it will
still make you

the smartest one
of all.

Go ahead.
Show him your lab.

Welcome,
and be amazed

at the world
of Dexter's
laboratory.

[Yawn]

Very cute, Dexter.
Very cute.

Now let me show you
area
facility.

[Beep]

Welcome to my laboratory!

[Echo]
Laboratory!

Laboratory!

As you can
plainly see,
Dexter,

this facility
accommodates

every aspect of science
known to man.

Thank you.

So for you to continue
to waste precious energy

with your little lab
would be scientifically
unsound.

And so I leave you
with choices:

Either you
become my lackey

or shut down your lab

and discontinue any further
experiments hereon in.

The choice is yours.

Good-bye, Dexter.

Computer:
Dexter--

what are you
doing, Dexter?

Good-bye, my love.

[Slurred]
Good-bye,
Dexter.

No!

[Crying]

Sir, we're reading
a complete shutdown
from Dexter's lab.

Our power levels are
at optimum efficiency.

Excellent. Ha ha!
Excellent.

Ha ha ha!

[Crying]

[Ring]

Oh, hello, Mr. Levinsky.

Hmm.

Mrs. Cartwright.

Hmm.

Mrs. Wolfberg?

Hmm.

Look! There he is.

[Excited chatter]

Hi, Dexter!

[Echo]
Hi, Dexter!

Hi, Dexter!

[Love song playing]

Ohh...

Ohh...

Dexter!

What do you want?

Who is that?

Oh, that's just

my stupid sister Dee Dee.

Dee Dee.

Oh, what
a heavenly name

the eternals
have blessed
her with!

Oh, Dexter, Dexter,
please, please,

set me up on a date
with that golden-haired
angel who graces

our undeserving school
with her infinite
beauty.

No way.

You don't owe
that jerk
any favors.

That's right!

He made you
shut down
your lab.

He's right.

Yeah.

And besides,

Dee Dee's hyper and clumsy,

and she would probably wreck

mandark's labo--

there, there,
old palsey.

I'll fix you up.

You will?

Sure. All you
have to do is...

[Whispers]

[Knock knock]

Hello.

Ooh...candy!

There is more candy
upstairs

if you desire,
my love.

Hmm...

Ok.

Here you are,
my dear.

Yum-yum.

So, Dee Dee, I heard

from a very
reliable source

that you...

Like...

To...

Dance.

Dance?
I'd love to!

Mandark: Aah!

Robots, help!

Ahh...

A toast to my sweet
sister Dee Dee

for reuniting me
withmy

computer: It's good
to be back, Dexter.

[Clink]

Dexter: After countless
experiments,

all testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities,
no physical mutations,

no nothing!

It seems you shall never
become anything more
than a mere monkey.

Monkey, this is
agent honeydew.

Help us.

Oh, monkey, monkey,
earth's in trouble.

We need your help.

Hear my thoughts.
Help us, monkey!

[Ding]

Thank the stars!

We knew you'd
come through, monkey.

You always do.

Greetings, everyone.
As you were.

Monkey, I can't
thank you enough

for your speedy rescue
of agent honeydew and crew.

However, we have
a much larger problem

on our hands.
Honeydew.

As we entered sector
on routine patrol,

an armada
of unknown warships
dropped out of warp

directly on top of us.

We never had a chance.

We know nothing
of this deadly fleet

except for its trajectory--

planet earth.

We're desperate.

Monkey, can
you help us?

[Eek eek eek]

[Eek]

He's strong.

He's falling
into my trap
as I had planned.

Please come in.

Take your shoes off.
Stay awhile.

That was quite a show
you put on out there,
monkey.

But as we speak,
my space station

is set to destroy
your planet earth
in minutes.

[Eek]

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

Brute force
will get you
nowhere.

I'm a man of class.
Behold my succulent feast--

king crab, swordfish,
scalloped potatoes.

But of course,
if this is
too rich for you,

I'll have my cooks
make you a banana split.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[Eek eek]

No! I amnot

I am simion!

[Eek eek]

What is my problem
with man, you ask?

No. I ask you,
what was man's
problem withme?

I deserve revenge
for what they did to me.

The pain...

The horror.

I was to be
the first monkey
in space.

The mission
was disastrous.

A cr*ck
in the ship's hull
created an expl*si*n

that hurled me
into a radioactive
energy belt.

I was exposed
to gamma rays

and changed
for life.

I became strong
and amazingly
intelligent.

Yes. I began
to build
ane

I expanded my knowledge
and skill by meditation.

Soon I could
create matter
merely by thought.

In half a century,

I built this entire
space station from scratch.

Now the time
has finally come

for my revenge
on the hairless apes

for making a Guinea pig
out of me.

Like you, monkey--

while you put your neck
on the line,

the humans sit
comfortably, getting fat.

That is why
I brought you here.

Your presence is strong.

Together we could combine
our forces and bring

a new order to the galaxy.

Seek your heart.

You know it to be true.

Nohum

real kindness and love.

It's all been a lie.

But with my knowledge
and your amaz--

What?

[Eek eek]

I--

i--

[sniff]

No!

Oh, I never thought
all the answers
would be given to me

in such a simple package.

How could I not see
that I have become
that which I hate?

Only a monkey
could show me that.

Oh, my friend,
I want to walk like you,

talk like you.

Ooh woo woo woo!
Where do I start?

[Eek eek]

Yes, of course.

I must destroy

that which I have created

out of anger.

So be it!

Ahh...

This is paradise.

I am born again!

[Ooh ooh eek eek eek
ooh-gah ooh-gah
ah ah ah]

Ha ha ha!
It feels good.

[Eek eek]

[Eek eek]

Thank you,
my little friend!

[Eek eek]

The tuning fork

is an excellent instrument

for studying

vibrational phenomena.

Fork?

Now you can sample

some of my triple-fudge
chocolate cake.

[Humming]

[Ticking]

[Meow meow meow]

Aah! It's : !

I've got the blankets.

I've got the remote.

I've got the popcorn.

Huh? I've got
to go. It's--

TV: Time for the late
early movie.

Tonight's feature:
Santa claus vs. The wolf man.

Ho ho ho!
This is a good one.

Mm-hmm.

TV.

Could you pass
the popcorn?

Uh, please?

Dexter.

Dexter!

Dexter!

Please, mom.

Can't I stay up
just this once?

No, dear. I'm sorry,
but you know the rules.

You can stay up late
when you're older.

Ok.

Good night.

I promise
I won't
experiment

on the dog
anymore.

Dexter!

Ok.

Please, mom.
Please!

No.

Dad?

Ask your mother.

TV! TV! TV! TV!

[Snap]

Dexter: Bad, bad, bad.

[Laughter]

Father: That always
gets me.

[Laughter]

Mother: Not till you're older.

Not till you're older.

Not till you're older.

That's it!

[Ring]

Ahh, what a fine day
for science.

Dee Dee, quit
moving my chair.

Ahh! There she is--

my hydroplasmatic accelerator.

With this machine, I can double,
triple, or even quadruple my age

in mere seconds.

Yes, yes.
seems quite adequate.

No more will I be forced
to go to bed early.

The world of late-night
TV viewing will be mine,

for I step in a boy
and step out a man.

Ooh!

Ohh...

[Cough cough]

Hi, grandpa.

Grandpa?

Oh, no! I'm old!

Come back here,
you little--

when I was
your age, i--uh?

Turn that music
down, you little--

uh...uh...
What was I doing?

Mother: Kids, lunchtime!

Oh, boy, lunchtime!

Race you down,
grandpa!

I'm not grandpa!

Uh...ooh...
I'm--I'm coming.

[Creak]

Ok. Here we go.

Uh...ohh.

Uh...ohh.

Who put these stairs
here? Ohh.

Mother: Kids, dinnertime!

Oh, boy, dinnertime!

Hi, grandpa.

I'm not grandpa!

Uh--uh,
where am I?

Nurse!

When's dinner?
I'm starved.

Dee Dee: Grandpa--

Dexter: I am not
grandpa.

Grandpa--

I am not
grandpa.

Grandpa--

I am not
grandpa.

Grandpa?

Well, you're here
just in time for dinner.

We're having
meat and potatoes.

Oh, boy!

And for you--

oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

Your favorite--

oh, boy!
Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

Applesauce and medicine.

Mother: Dig in!

So, anyway, I was saying
to Shirley that--

uh, Dee Dee, will you
help your grandfather?

Here, grandpa.
Let me help.

I'm not grandpa!

Hey, whatcha
doing there?

Ouch!

Why, I'll teach you!

Yum.

Applesauce.

[Cuckoo cuckoo]

It's movie time!

Oh, boy, movie time!

My hip!

Yep. I'm coming.

Yesiree, Bob.

Can't miss the movie.

Nope. There's nothing more

I like to do

than stay up late

and watch the tube.

Ahh...there she is--
my sweet receiver.

Mother: Um, grandpa,
why don't you have a seat?

Oh, don't mind
if I do.

A little help
there, um...
Dodo?

Dee Dee.

Da da?

Dee Dee.

Doo-doo?

Dee Dee.

Thanks, Billy.

TV: Tonight's feature:

k*ller leeches a gogo.

Oh, boy!
Oh, boy!

I can't believe
I'm getting
to stay up late.

Could you pass
the popcorn,
please?

Here you go,
grandpa.

Grandpa?

Aah!

Grandpa's dead!

No, no, dear.

It's just that he's
far too old to stay up
this late.

[Snoring]

Enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab