01x05 - Jurassic Pooch/Dial M for Monkey: Orgon Grindor

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Dexter's Laboratory". Aired: April 27, 1996 – November 20, 2003.*
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A child genius, whips up dazzling, world-saving inventions in his secret laboratory.
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01x05 - Jurassic Pooch/Dial M for Monkey: Orgon Grindor

Post by bunniefuu »

Dexter:
Prehistoric plasmatic granite--

the only substance
containing prehistoric life
within its lithic bowels.

Now to check
the granite readouts.

Aah! The strand is missing
particles of d.N.A.--

the brain and the heart.

No! No! No! It is ruined!

Now it will never work!

Wah!

Do you mind?

Wah!

That's it!

Cerebral transference cable.

Aortic canal succulator.

Lava lamp, go!

Yes. Yes. Yes!

[Yipe]

It's working.
Ha ha ha!

I have done it!

[Grr]

[Roar]

[Thunder]

Yes! It's alive--aah!

[Grr]

Aah!

I have failed.

[Grr]

[Woof woof woof]

Egads! I cannot understand
what could have happened.

All my connections
were correct.

My log. I'll check my--

log!

Stop!

You ill-behaved,
unruly cretin!

Stop! Down.
Get away.

No!

Stop! Stop!

You do not
do that in here.

Go outside. Out!

What am I saying?

No. Stay! Stay!

[Woof woof
woof woof]

Nice doggy-woggy.

Ooh. Potty time.

[Barking]

A real doggy to play with!

Now, you will
stay there

until I figure out
a way to deal with you.

Ooh! Big doggy.

[Whining]

Did my mean old brother
put you in that cage?

Don't you worry, puppy.
I'll let you out.

What mean doodyhead
would put you in a cage

when what you need
is a little exercise?

[Rumble]

[Woof woof woof]

This should solve
the Dexter dino equation.

Sometimes I amaze even myself.

There are times when I think
my brain is just about--

gone!

Ok. I'll get him.

Where could he be hiding?

No. Where?
Where is my dinosaur?

Aha! Dee Dee.

Here, boy. Here, boy.
Fetch the stick.

[Crash]

Ooh! Good boy.

Aha! There they are,
in the park.

Engage
interception sequence.

Dee Dee!

What exactly
do you think that
you are doing?

You cannot let
a full-grown dinosaur
run free in the park.

It never fails
to surprise me

how completely
without intelligence
you are.

It fills me with guilt
to know

I have been blessed
with a superior intellect

and you have not.

I weep for you, Dee Dee,
but I will help you.

You are my sister,
after all,

and I now pledge my life
to assist you in your
search for a mind.

It will be a difficult task,

but I will not rest until
I fill that gaping hole
in your head.

Good boy.

That's it.

Engage dino-copter.

Let us rock!

Aha!

Can you do
any tricks?

Fire dino-net.

Lay down.

Fire dino freeze ray.

Roll over.

Deploy dino leash.

Here, boy.
Go get it.

Time...to resort to...

The big g*ns.

Dexter: Meow meow.

Meow meow.

Meow meow.

Meow meow.

Meow, you dog-brained
dinosaur.

Meow!

[Growling]

Down, boy.
Down, boy.

Meow.

[Woof woof]

Meow!

[Woof woof]

Down, boy.
Down, boy.

Aah!

Down, boy! Down, boy!

Activate front gate.

Nice doggy.
Good doggy.

Aah!

[Sniff sniff]

Dexter!

What do you think
you're doing
with my doggy?

It is my dinosaur!

Doggy.

Dinosaur.

Doggy.

Dinosaur.

Kids, dinnertime.

Oh, what a cute doggy.

Can we
keep him, mom?

Can we? Can we?
Can we?

Well, ok, but you have to
take care of him.

Yay!

[Rumble]

Dee Dee, don't feed
the dog table scraps.

Dee Dee: Ok, mom.

Anybody want
to buy a dinosaur?

All testing proves negative.

No enhanced abilities,
no physical mutations,

no nothing!

It seems you shall never
become anything more
than a mere monkey.

Monkey, this is
agent honey q.

Help us.

♪ Ah, yes, planet earth,
so much splendor ♪

♪ so much riches
to be taken by me,
the orgon grindor ♪

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ah, yes. The land
of the opportunity.

Ha ha ha!

♪ Ok, monkey, come-a to me

♪ hear my spell
and make-a me rich ♪

♪ make-a me rich,
make-a me rich, make-a me rich ♪

Ha ha!

[Doorbell rings]

Just a sec!

Oh, hi, monkey.

Oh, you look great!
You got all dressed up
and everything.

[Eek eek]

Wow! A fruitcake?

And it's not even
Christmas yet.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, thanks.

[Soft music playing]

Oh. Oh.

Oh, I'm so glad you
liked your dinner.

I hope you saved
room for dessert.

[Eek eek]

Banana pudding
with raisins.

[Mwa]

[Eek eek]

You wait right here.
I'll be just a sec.

♪ ♪
♪ ♪

Oh, and don't touch
my record player.

[Orgon grindor's music]

Ok, monkey. Open wide.

Ha ha ha!

Monkey?

♪ Ahh, you came
to me-o ♪

♪ my little friend-o

♪ now I'm your master-o

♪ you'll make me
rich-o ♪

♪ I no gonna sell-a
the fish no more ♪

♪ you gonna help me,
ok, for sure ♪

Ok. Listen-a.

I want you get me
the most valuable thing
in the world

and bring it to me.

Now go. Break!
Break like the wind!

Mamma Mia!
You some kinda fast...

♪ Monkey

ok. Let me see.
What did you bring?

What's-a matta for you?

I canna no use this.

I wanted the shiny
something yellow, you know?

♪ Now go, and do not
fail me now ♪

♪ no, no, no,stronzo ♪

♪ if you want something right,
I gotta do it myself ♪

♪ you come with me today

ok. Everything-a
shiny inside...

♪ You bring,
you bring to me ♪

♪ and if someone
get in your way ♪

♪ you break-a his face

[alarm ringing]

Agent honeydew,
come in.

Yes, commander?

I have terrible news.
Fort Knox is under att*ck.

I need your help
as soon as possible.

Calm down, chief.
I've done Knox before.

But, honeydew,
it's--it's monkey.

What?
Are you serious?

Yes.

♪ That's-a my boy,
good monkey ♪

♪ don't forget
to get-a the rest ♪

Monkey!

What on earth
are you doing?

Aah!

Ohh...

He's being
hypnotized.

♪ Let's all
get outta here ♪

Hold it!
Drop the monkey!

Ha ha ha!

♪ That's some kinda
funny thing ♪

♪ she said to me...

Now rub 'em out.

All right,
you mean-to-animals
type person,

hand over the gold.

♪ But,signora,
want to make trouble
with a simple fish man? ♪

Oh, ha ha ha!

Nice try.

I just want to
teach you a lesson

about crashing
dinner parties

and hypnotizing
my little buddy

to fulfill
your sick ways.

But--

♪ you destroy
my money machine ♪

♪ now I going to
smash you ♪

Monkey!

There, there.
You're all better now.

Come on. Let's go.

Once again, I can't
thank you enough, honeydew,
for your help.

Don't mention it,
chief.

It was easier
with teamwork.

[Eek eek]

Yes, monkey.
I'm still your friend.

Ha ha ha!

Come on.
Let's dig in.

You sure said
a mouth--ooh!

You can't have
any pudding, silly.

You're trapped
in that box.

Ha ha ha!

The final,
most important reason

your presence
is unwelcome

is because somehow,
some way,

you are always
ruining my experiments...

Aah!

[Alarm sounding]

[With Scottish accent]
Sir, she can't
take much more!

Just a little
longer.

His synapses are f*ring at
an alarmingly incredible rate.

Temperature rising!

She can't take it!

She's going to blow!

[People screaming]

Worker: Shut it down.

It's an all-systems
shutdown.

Hwa.

Waee.

Heegee.

Blar!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Fun!

Dexter?

Ha ha ha! Fun.

Ohh!

Come on, Dexter.

Let's go play.

Ooh, look how
pretty you are.

We'll call you ginger.

Ok. Now let's play
hide-and-seek.

You hide.
I'll count.

, , , ,
, , , , , .

Here I come, ginger.

Ginger! You're
supposed to go hide.

I'll count again.

, , , , ,
, , , , .

Ready or not,
here I come!

Hmm.

Maybe you should
count, ginger,

and no peeking.

Ferff tiff steren flar.

Oh!

Hey, Dexter,
that'smy

[cat yowling]

[Dog barking]

Whoa.

Hey! Dexter,
what are you doing?

Whee!

Ha ha ha!

Hee hee hee!

Hey, everybody,
Dexter's running around
in his underpants!

Underpants! Underpants!

Underpants!

Ha ha ho ho!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

I'll give you lollipops
if he does it.

All right. I'll
take that to .

You can do it,
Dexter.

Ooh!

Ahh!

Make way.
Coming through.

[Duck honks]

Ohh!

Dexter! Dexter! Dexter!

Dexter! Dexter!
Dexter! Dexter!

Dexter! Dexter!

Dexter! Dexter!

All right.
She cooled down.

Put her back on-line.

All systems go!

Yay! Yay!

Dexter: No!

[Panting]

Enter at
your own peril,

past
the vaulted door

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab
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