02x05 - Going Green

[bunniefuu]

[bright tone]

- Hey, do you have a sec?
- Mm-hmm.

Uh, so we were talking about something

in my management class last night.

Did you guys know we're behind

most of the other
auto companies in green tech?

We got a slow start on EVs,
thanks to a previous CEO.

Yeah, my grandfather always said,

"Electric cars are
for European sissies."

And I know that sounds bad,

but he didn't mean people from Europe.

He meant effeminate men.

I'm pretty sure that's worse.

Well, this analyst was
talking to our class about it,

and she says that every time
a auto company announces

a green initiative,
the stock price sh**t up.

- Well...
- Yeah.

We do need to boost our stock price.

Have I told you about
the sacrifice that I made

- to save your jobs?
- You did.

Oh, no, I just didn't know
if you were there

- when I told everyone, so...
- We were all there.

It was pretty selfless, so okay.

Well, yeah. Let's announce it.

What exactly am I announcing?

Say we're investing billion into EV

with plans to go completely green by,

I don't know, ?

And are we actually going green
or just announcing it?

Um, both.
We'll put the press release out

now for the stock bump,
and you take all the time

that you need
designing your solar wheels

or an engine that runs on hot-dog water

or whatever gets you hard.

- Everyone's happy.
- Does $ billion...

Does that sound a little fake, though,

like Dr. Evil or something?

- Do not.
- Well, you could say

like $ . billion.

Oh, yeah. No, that's good.

It'll look like we tried
to reach billion

- but couldn't.
- [sighs]

Oh, my God, fine. Do it.

[as Dr. Evil] $ million.

- Billion.
- $ billion.

Zip it.

♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom
buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

Did you see this?

Our stock's already up four points.

- It totally worked.
- I saw.

We should do a second announcement

and see if the price goes up even more.

I'm not sure that's a good idea.

The stock price is up four points.

- I saw.
- Let's do a second

announcement. It'll boost the price

- even more.
- I said the same thing.

How do we justify a second press release

on the same day about the same thing?

Uh, it's green stuff
so, uh, climate change?

Oh, yeah. That's perfect.

- Hmm.
- "As the situation

"with climate change evolves,

so must our plans," et cetera.

Uh, make sure that you use
the word "unprecedented."

- Ooh, that's nice.
- Sure.

And say we're investing . billion.

- Oh.
- And we'll be green

- by the year...
- Uh, .

- Love it.
- Okay, anything earlier

than is gonna sound crazy.

Can we at least say ?

- Okay, .
- ?

Fine, .

Sounds like you're learning
a lot in that program.

You know, I was never
into academics as a kid,

but this stuff is...
Is actually really interesting.

Well, I'm very happy for you.

Like in my last class, there
was an example of a company,

- Merlin Enterprises.
- Uh-huh.

And Merlin makes widgets.
But one day they decided

that they also wanna make
scrunchems, right?

Right, yeah. Well, I gotta go...

It's all made-up.

There is no Merlin Enterprises.

But for the sake of the example, I...

John! [exhales]

[softly] Sorry, I gotta go deal
with this.

[laughs] John!

We gotta go over some stuff.

He really wanted to get away from you.

Thank you, Dale.

You click Refresh.
You've got the magic touch.

Okay.

- Oh! Up six cents.
- Whoa, hey, hey! Yes.

We're up another point and a half.

Hey, we gotta do a third announcement.

We have to. The stock market is obsessed

with us right now, like so horny.

Right, um, I just got a call
from "The Wall Street Journal."

Good news is, they think

that everything we're saying
is super exciting.

Uh, no doy, "Wall Street Journal."

I was just about to say that.
I was just about to say

- "No doy."
- But they're also curious

to know specifically
what we're doing in terms of,

- you know, going green.
- Already?

We just announced this thing.

Well, if we don't give them
any specifics,

it'll seem like we're all talk,

and our stock price'll go
back down to where it was,

probably lower, actually.

Cyrus! Get in here!

You know, they wouldn't be
doing this if I was a man.

- Holding you accountable?
- Mm-hmm.

You know my office has a phone, right?

We need to give
"The Wall Street Journal"

some specifics
on the new green initiative.

- What do you got so far?
- The initiative you asked me

to start thinking about
roughly three hours ago?

- Not a whole lot.
- What have you been doing

- this whole time?
- Sorry.

It might take me a whole week
to solve the global energy crisis.

What if we invest in some green tech,

like the other companies
we're developing?

Yeah, that'd show "Wall Street"
that we're serious at least.

We have an untapped acquisition fund.

- Mm.
- And I know about some

promising start-ups in Silicon Valley.

- Great. Make us a list.
- Okay.

Looks like we're going shopping!

Cha-ching, a little retail therapy.

[laughs] Mama likes
to swipe that plastic.

- Mm.
- Just give Mama the cash

and Mama will spend it.

[as a baby] Mama buy something for baby?

Toy for baby?

Um, let's maybe all just sit
quietly in our offices

for the rest of the day.

This feels good, guys.
We're literally on our way

to help save the planet.

He said while flying on a private plane,

drinking from single-use plastic.

So we have meetings set up
with nine start-ups

that are all working
on EV-related technology.

First there's Loband...

I don't need all the details.

This is lottery ticket investing.

You buy ten. You hope you get a winner.

Perfect. Great business model.

We should meet with my buddy Chase.
He's a huge tech guy.

Oh, I... I doubt we'll have time.

No, seriously. He's a disruptor.

Like imagine a version of me,
but in Silicon Valley.

Hmm.

Um, I should probably get into these.

Everyone, please be seated for landing.

Well, I hope you all brought
your umbrellas,

'cause we're about
to make it rain on some nerds.

♪ It's coming up, it's coming up ♪

♪ It's dare, uh ♪

We anticipate that our solar cells

will be able to charge up to % faster

than conventional solar arrays.

So-lar, so good. [laughs] It's exciting.

How 'bout, uh, million for %?

I know what you're thinking:
this looks like

an ordinary electrical resolver.

This one is coil-free.

[gasps]

Just kidding, I have no idea
what any of this means.

I want you to forget everything you know

about water and glycol-based cooling.

- Done.
- I'm ready to make an offer.

I haven't started the pitch yet.

Don't sell past the "yes."

The typical design consists of primary

and secondary coil windings,
but the operative word...

- Design.
- Coil.

With silicon anodes, we see
higher lithium absorption,

as silicon can bind four lithium ions

- per silicon atom.
- This is game-changing.

- It's a game changer.
- The game has changed.

This'll change the game.

[sighs] I cannot take much more of this.

So many different types of nerd,
each with their own distinct odor.

Well, our next meeting cancelled.

The company dissolved and laid
off its entire workforce.

- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, that's perfect.

We can meet Chase.
His company is right around

- here.
- Or we could go to

that boba shop that we passed
on the way here.

Oh, I vote for that.
I love me some boba.

- It's so good.
- It's nice to chew a drink.

Guys, come on. We're meeting with every

company Cyrus wanted to.

- I'm just asking for one.
- Oh, baby brother is jealous.

[whiny] Does baby need a toy?

- [cooing]
- Fine! Forget it.

Uh, message received, okay?

I'm dumb,
and everything I say is stupid.

- Mm-hmm.
- [sighs]

Okay, Wesley, we'll meet your friend.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

Yes! You will not regret this.
I personally vouch for this guy.

Mm.

[light music]

Wesley Payne in the house!

- Oh, there he is.
- Sarah, pump up the AC

because this guy comes in hot.

Uh. [both laugh]

- My man.
- Yeah.

What in white-boy hell is this?

Uh, Chase Brody,
this is Katherine Hastings...

Katherine the Great, I call her.

That's Sexy Sadie, Jack the Kn*fe,

and Cyrus, um, uh, the Glasses Guy.

Well, thanks for comin' out here, fam.

Yeah, well, our last pitch cancelled,

so we have a very short window
for a quick, quick meet and greet.

- Mm-hmm.
- So how do you two

- know each other? [laughs]
- Wesley and I go way back.

I used to cheat off him in college.

[laughs] Right.

[inhales deeply]

Oh, you're serious.

Yeah, no. He's got some strengths.

All right, well,
if you guys wanna follow me,

- I can give you the grand tour.
- Oh, great.

We'd love a real quick, short tour.

Mm, so he's less intelligent
than Wesley.

- God help us.
- Yeah.

Take a seat.
Make yourselves comfortable.

This is our chief "sand-gineer,"

Dustin Kregg. He's like the Woz
to my Jobs. He does the science.

I do the vision.

Hi...

I, uh, like your tie.

I like yours too.

[soft reflective music]

♪ ♪

What is sand?

Tiny rocks?

That stuff we play in at the beach?

Well, what if the actual particles

that we drive by
when we drive by the beach

could actually be powering what we drive

when we drive by the beach?

- What is he talking about?
- I didn't get any of that.

We've learned how to harness
the power of the sun,

the wind, and water.

Why not the power of sand?

Wait, he's not actually
pitching a battery made

- of sand, right?
- I give you...

- No, he can't be.
- The world's first

sand-based battery, the sandtery.

- Oh, my God. I think he is.
- For generations...

- Should we leave?
- Are you kidding?

I don't wanna miss a second of this.

- Guys, shh!
- Isn't it time

we built on something new?

Oh, please say "built on sand."

Oh, God, that would make me so happy.

Isn't it time we built... on sand?

- [both laugh]
- Revolutionizing the world...

Shh. You're being rude.

- Everything okay?
- Oh, oh, yeah.

Everything is more than okay, yeah.

No, this is fantastic.
Please keep going.

[upbeat music]

So here in our lab, our scientists work

to manipulate the chemistry of sand

to hold and transfer electricity

using the principles of physics.

Wow, that sounds very sciencey.

Yes, I think that physics
is actually the most sciencey

of all the sciences. [laughs]

You guys are being
so annoying right now.

And so over here is
sort of the sand area.

There's thousands
of different types of sand.

It can be finicky.

I was trying to ask
about their financials.

I'm not totally clear
on their business model.

Oh, it's... it's really simple.

We give them money.

They put it in
a Cayman Island bank account.

- We never hear from them again.
- [laughs]

Yeah, they didn't teach us
that one in class yet.

- Mm.
- [laughs]

Hey, will you stick close by?

That creepy guy keeps on staring at me.

Which creepy guy?

Uh, Jack, the one with the notebook.

He weirds me out. [laughs]

Don't worry.

I won't let him near you.

- Thanks.
- All right, everybody.

I'd like to introduce
to you the future of energy,

the sandtery.

[clicks]

- Oh.
- Oh, wow.

- Wow, it works.
- [laughs]

I told you guys he was a genius.
You never believe me.

I honestly thought this was like

a Theranos-type situation. [both laugh]

I didn't think it was possible.

How did... how many amp hours
do you get from this much sand?

Hard to say.
This is more of a conceptual

prototype than an actual working model.

So...

- Yeah.
- Okay, uh, Chase.

This may sound like
a stupid question, I mean...

- No such thing.
- Just so I understand...

Sure.

Is this lamp powered by this sand?

This particular lamp
is powered by AA batteries,

but this is exactly
how an operational sandtery will look.

- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.

Anyway, let's jump back into our civvies

and chat details.

All right?

Well, that was really something.

Really didn't need
to go to a lab for that.

What was the point of these suits?

I guess they didn't want us
to contaminate

their nice IKEA lamp.

At least when people sell
you magic beans,

they don't tell you they haven't cracked

- the bean technology yet.
- [fake laughs]

So they haven't figured out
every detail.

- Oh, my God!
- Jesus, Jesus!

Wesley, why are you naked under that?

I thought we all were.

Hey, guys. Take a seat.

So now you have seen
the Sandbox revolution.

We here at Sandbox believe
that we can no longer afford

to keep our heads in the sand.

Chase, I don't need the whole pitch.

Truth is, I think
your technology is a little,

um, hmm... what is the word
that I am looking for?

- Bogus?
- What's a nicer way

- of saying that?
- Hmm. Uh, spurious?

Spurious. Great, spurious.

The tech is spurious, but you
and Wesley are old friends,

so how 'bout we throw you
grand for, I don't know,

%, a million percent?

We're all havin' fun here.
[light laughter]

- $ , ?
- Uh-huh.

Well, um,

thank you for the offer, uh,
but we believe our valuation

to be at billion.

I'm sorry.

I might've gotten sand in my ears.

Did you say "billion" with a B?

We believe that with our tech,

we should be able
to garner a significant share...

What tech? You have no tech.

You have the idea
of batteries made out of sand,

which is really just
a couple letters away

from batteries made out of farts.

Well...

thank you for your interest.

Well, thank you so much
for showing us around.

This has been hilarious,

and I wish you the best of luck
in prison.

So embarrass me in front of my friend...

Was that always your plan or...

Of course not, Wesley.

At least not initially.

Hey, um, can I have your email?

Oh, I would, but I don't have email.

[laughs]

Oh, I just... this is just...
I check the weather on this.

- That's just for my weather.
- Oh, okay.

Well, I'm sorry it didn't work out.

I felt a real connection with you,

way more than with the Tesla people.

With the Tes... Tesla.

Huh.

Bet you would've invested
if Cyrus had asked you to.

- Cyrus knows things.
- It's true. I do.

And this place is super sketchy.

Yeah, I can't believe Tesla's
looking at them.

How do you know Tesla's looking at them?

The creepy engineer told me.

Weird, Tesla usually has pretty
good instincts about this stuff.

Tesla?

Hmm.

And that's... that...
That's interesting.

Is that interesting?

Why would Tesla be interested in them?

Even if they checked them out,

that doesn't mean they thought
it was worth anything.

Can you find out what the deal is?

You think Chase is gonna tell
me anything

after the way you insulted him?

Well, if Tesla's looking at them,

maybe other companies are too?

[gasps] I used to date a guy at GM.

I could do some fishing.

Okay, great. Call him.
Does anyone know someone at Ford?

I actually had an on-again,
off-again thing

- with a guy there.
- Oh. Call them too.

Um, anyone know anyone at Chrysler?

Throuple that went south.

- Ooh, I'll try him.
- How 'bout Volvo?

Not into Swedes, got it.

I know a VC guy I could check with.

He usually knows if something has buzz.

I can call my hedge-fund friend.

We met in business school,
not a throuple.

- No need to slut-shame.
- I can see if the analyst

who spoke to my class has heard of 'em.

I could reach out
to the "Journal" reporter.

I'll call them.
I need you to see what else

you can squeeze out of that engineer.

- He's into you, right?
- You want me

to whore myself out to the weirdo?

Flirt with him.
I'm not saying you should

[bleep] him. I mean, unless there was

- a connection and you're into...
- Ew.

Jeff Bezos used to look like a dork,

and now he's a billionaire
with a Jason Statham vibe.

Okay? You could do way worse.

[upbeat music]

David, how are you?

Why are you calling, Cyrus?

I've just missed you.

I was thinking about that week
we spent at the beach.

Oh, speaking of beaches,

has GM been talking
to a company called...

Sandbox? No, that doesn't ring a bell.

It's probably nothing. I'm just doing

- my due diligence.
- Well, I could ask around

- and call you back.
- Great, thanks.

I'm % sure
that they're scam artists, so...

They're gonna be huge.
They got this game-changing

technology, but I need to know
if there's competition.

All right, thanks for the tip.

No, no. I'm not giving you a tip.

Hey, Dustin. [laughs]

Dusty Dustin.

[laughs] No, that's not...

What are you doin' here?

I just felt like I wanted
to see you again,

Big D.

No, it's been way too long
since we talked.

That's what happens
when you ghost someone.

I didn't ghost.
I told you I didn't love you

and then ended contact.

When you spoke to our class, you said

we can call you with questions?

Can I ask you about one company?

Sandbox? Is anyone at the "Journal"

- writing about them?
- Why?

Are you guys making a play?

I'm asking you the questions.

You know that's not how
newspapers work, right?

It was kind of hot before
when you were talking to me

about Tesla.

What else do you know about them?

They're an automotive and energy company

founded in July
in San Carlos, California,

- but currently headquartered...
- Oh, my God, stop.

Stop it. You're so funny, Dustin.

[laughs]

- He called you too?
- Yup.

What is going on with him?

And then he was asking me
about some battery company.

Me too. Sandbox.

What's that about?

- Well, I should go.
- Yeah, okay. Bye.

♪ ♪

- Hi, I need you to look into...
- Hey, have you heard

- of Sandbox?
- Called Sandbox.

Wesley, Monica Chess from the "Journal."

I'm hearing rumors about an auto company

acquiring Sandbox.

- Care to comment?
- You mean Tesla?

Tesla? That's interesting.

When you say "there's
a buzz," how much buzz?

Well, I'm hearing a lot of...
Oh, hold on.

- Hello?
- Chucky-Cheese,

checking your temperature on Sandbox.

Jesus, they're about to explode.

Tesla and Payne are both interested?

Those are just the ones that I know of.

- Lemme guess, Sandbox?
- Hold on.

Hey, Monica,
I don't think anyone's talking

about anything but them.

Look, the company everyone
is talking about right now,

Sandbox! Buy, buy, buy!

This thing is on fire, people.

It is red-hot! [buzzing]

Apparently they're the next Google,

Alphabet, Facebook, Meta.

I know some of those are
the same companies,

but the point is,
they could've been the answer

to all of our problems and we missed it.

- Uh, you missed it.
- Is it possible

that we're just buyin' into the hype?

I mean, you were the one
that said they were trying

- to sell us magic beans.
- Yeah.

And if I remember that story correctly,

they really were magic beans.

[bleep], we misread
that situation completely.

You misread the situation.

Okay, Wesley, you were right.

Happy? You were right. I was wrong.

You were wrong. Oh, I heard it.

- [cell phone buzzes]
- Oh, it's Javier from Nissan.

Everybody's thirsty for Cyrus today.

Hola, Javi.

Chase, I'd like to apologize
for my lack of tact earlier.

Oh, do you now?

Your vision may have been too bold

for me to recognize right away.

So how 'bout million
for a % stake in Sandbox?

, that's... that's a lot
of money for, uh...

What did you call us, a bag of farts?

I think it was actually
a battery made of farts.

Once you get to know her,
that's not even

all that insulting.
That's like a four out of ten.

Well, an hour ago, I would've
jumped at that offer,

but since then, we have had a flood...

[chuckles] Of interest.

Hedge funds, VCs.

Anyway, thanks for comin' back.

It's been...

hilarious.

[sighs]

If you ever hurt her,
I will kick your ass.

[light percussive music]

What?

While the focus has been
on optimization, the issue is,

in fact, uh, sustainability.

I told you Chase was legit.
You should've listened to me.

And I already agreed with you.

Do you realize the healthy boundaries
I let crumble all for nothing?

Dustin held his wrist by my face

for an entire TED Talk, and it smelled.

- It was a smelly wrist.
- Are we sure

this isn't a scam? If...

In my class, we were reading
about irrational exuberance.

[sighs] It's not a textbook, Jack.

- It says the basic...
- We're buds and all...

We're buds and all, but you're
seriously embarrassing yourself

- right now.
- Machine learning can...

Guys, this is amazing,
everything you're doing

- with sensors.
- Uh, you mean AI?

Yeah, whatever. AI.

We're gonna need
to discuss this for a minute.

Sure. Mm-hmm.

We need the room.

Oh! Okay.

Yeah, so we're gonna have to...

[shooing]

[door slams]
Wesley, get Chase on the phone.

- Now?
- Uh, yeah.

I am not gonna lose Sandbox,
and I cannot sit through another minute

of these nerds
and their stupid, boring pitch.

Sensors this, sensors that.

[bleep] get laid.

[line trilling]

- You got Chase.
- Uh, hey, Chase. It's Wesley.

Look, uh, so Katherine wanted
to make one last try.

Uh, God. What is it with that bitch?

Hey, Chase. Kat Hastings here.

Uh, look, we're upping our offer.

%, $ million.

And if you want, we'll throw in
that cute little blonde

that your engineer likes so much.

[laughs]

Also, I screwed up.

Just assumed you were full of crap,

and I should've trusted you,
so I'm sorry.

But we wanna be in business with you,

so if you give us a chance,
we would really...

Still a pass, Kat. Thanks anyway.

[people talking indistinctly]

Uh, hold on. Hold on.

Uh, Chase, look, man. We're tired.

We just spent a long day listenin'

to a bunch of dumb, smelly virgins

talking about sensors nonstop.

It's AI.

And yeah, maybe Katherine
came off as kind of a bitch,

- but...
- [clears throat]

If you get to know her,

you'll realize that A,
she's also low-key kind of hot,

and B, she's the bitch you want
on your side

because she sticks by you.

No, it's true, Chase.
I don't know if you know this,

but a couple of months ago,

the board tried
to fire this whole group...

M-m-m-my point is, don't go with us

just because of the money.

Go with us because when
the going gets rough,

we're the ones you want next
to you in that sandbox.

- [all cheering]
- Yeah, to Sandbox

- and to Wesley...
- Oh.

For making it all happen.

In the future,
I am gonna listen to you more,

- or, you know, at least try to.
- Danke.

Oh, looks like the news leaked.

Our share price is already
sh**ting up pre-market.

- Whoo!
- Yes!

- [laughs] Suck it, board.
- [laughs]

I'm sendin' our stock
through the stratosphere.

[laughter]

You... you know the board
would like that, right?

- [laughing] Well, yeah.
- Hey, guys.

I'm sorry about being such
a downer about everything.

Don't worry about it, Jack.

You know, people make mistakes.
You'll learn.

Yeah. It just seemed so crazy to me

that we were gonna give $ million

to some guys who said they can
make a battery out of sand.

[laughter]

- [inhales dramatically] Wow.
- Mm-hmm.

[clears throat]

[plane humming]

Hey, guys.

What did we just buy?

[bleep].