03x09 - Mondo Magic/Watch the Birdies

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

-(HUMMING)
-(WIND BLOWING)

MON DO: Hmm, yes.




Very nice.

I can work with that.

(OMNINOUS MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Hey!

I don't know who it's for, Courage.

But you can open it if you want.

Yes!

(LAUGHS)

(GASPS)

Oh, Courage, isn't it exciting?

(BARKING)

Oh!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)




(GULPS)

(BARKING INCOHERENTLY)

Ah!

Oh!

Wasn't that wonderful, Eustace?

Big deal!

(WHIMPERING)

Hey, I got a trick for you, dog.

Make yourself disappear.

(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)

Ah, Courage,
just show Eustace your biggest trick.

He'll have to be impressed.

(BARKING)

-(RUMBLING)
-(SCREAMING)

(LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ROARS)

- Oh, my!
-(COURAGE GASPS)

(DRUM ROLL PLAYING)

- AUDIENCE: Oh!
-(CLAPPING)

Oh!

(GASPS)

That's the best trick I ever saw.

However did you do it?

Trick? I don't do tricks, I do magic.

(SCOFFS)

It's all done with mirrors.

Mirrors?

I am the Amazing Mondo!

Then show me something amazing!

Please forgive Eustace.

He doesn't appreciate
true magic like I do.

Remember, kid,
it's all in the presentation.

(GASPS)

(DRUM ROLL PLAYING)

MURIEL: (CLAPPING)
Isn't that lovely?

(DRUM ROLL PLAYING)

(ROARS)

(SCREAMS IN FEAR)

Mirrors.

Oh.

- Oh.
-(so:SCOFFS)

Now I will require an assistant.

Oh, I've always wanted to...

Not you.

I have something else
up my sleeve for you.

Ah!

How about you?

I don't do no illusions!

Oh, go ahead, Eustace.

Maybe you can poof me up
one of them big-screen TVs.

I want to feel like
I'm part of the action.

(SPARKLING)

(FIREWORKS CRACKLING)

(COURAGE GASPS)

Eustace, where'd you go?

-(STATIC BUZZING)
- Hey, where am I?

Hey, I'm in the TV!

Hey, I'm in the TV.

(BELL RINGING)

ANNOUNCER: Sir Slamalot looks angry.

Uh-Oh.

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

(PUNCHING)

ANNOUNCER". Oh, this looks like curtains
for the farmer!

(LAUGHS)

For my next magical feat,

I shall require the assistance
of a lovely lady.

Me?

Oh, my!

I'd be glad to.

(WHIMPERING)

I don't see anything different.

Heavens!

(SCREAMING)

Hmm.

I don't think I've had
anything like this before.

That concludes tonight's show!

You've been a delightful audience.

(PANICKED EXCLAIMING)

Shaw's over, kid.

I gotta wet the ol' magic whistle.

Oh, my!

(STRAINING)

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

By midnight tonight,
the transformation will be complete.

And I shall take her as my bride!

Oh, Courage, help me!

(ROARS)

Oh! Oh!

(SIZZLING)

(SCREAMS)

(HOWLING IN DISTANCE)

(CLATTERING)

Oh, my!

(DIALING)

MAN: (OVER PHONE) Dr. Vindaloo.

(HowLS)

(RUMBLING)

You howled?

(BARKING INCOHERENTLY)

Mmm-hmm.

(GASPS)

This look like black magic.

(SCOFFS) Nothing to worry about.

Nothing at all.

Wens)

But there is nothing I can do.

(GROANS)

Magic must be fought with magic. Oh, yes.

(CHUCKLES) That's a good one.

-(GROWLING)
-(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

I am now a head of lettuce.

(WHIMPERS)

This all feels just so wrong.

Oh, no!

We are getting closer, dear.

Only one more hour
until you are mine forever.

All right.

EUSTACE: Hey! Hey!

Eustace?

(EUSTACE SCREAMING)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I love this show!

Oh!

(BARKING INCOHERENTLY)

(ROARS)

(GROANS)

Get real, kid.

I am the greatest magician in the world!

(WHIMPERS)

Ah-ha!

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

How did you do that?

Amazing.

How does he do that?

(WHISTLING)

Ah!

Oops!

-(cow BELL RATTLING)
-(MOOING)

lam no longer a head of lettuce!

(GASPS)

Kid, if you want to make it big like me,
it takes years of practice.

And you only have four minutes.

Work on your presentation.

After all, it's all in the presentation.

(GROWLS)

Ta-da!

(GASPS)

Oh, how lovely!

(BARKING INCOHERENTLY)

-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-(QUACKING)

(GASPS)

Not bad.

(QUACKING)

(SNEEZING)

(GASPING AND GROANING)

(CHITTERING)

You're going to hear
from my agent about this!

Hey!

Where am I?

-(EUSTACE SCREAMING)
- Eustace?

Ta-da!

(LAUGHS) Oh, howl love magic!

Oh!

MONDO: Get real, kid.

MURIEL: Here you are,
you sweet feathered creatures, you.

Breakfast time!

(WHIMPERING)

EUSTACE: Where's my breakfast, woman?

I'm starving to death!

Calm yourself, Eustace.

I'm just feeding the birdies.

I'd like to feed the birdies to the cats!

(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(GROANS)

(LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY)

(GASPS)

Courage, there's nothing to be afraid of.

A bird would never do us any harm.

Argh!

Courage, help me!

Help me!

(SCREAMS)

Muriel, where's my breakfast?

(BARKING NERVOUSLY)

(IMITATING MURIEL)

Ooga-booga-booga!

(SCREAMS)

(MURIEL SCREAMING)

(COURAGE PANTING)

MURIEL: Help!

(GROANS)

(MURIEL'S SCREAMING CONTINUES)

(PANTING)

(CHIRPING)

wens)

Koochie-koochie-koochie-koo!

- MOTHER BIRD: Now, remember.
- Huh?

I'm only gonna be gone for a few hours.

Imagine, a woman of my quality,

having to raise three kids all alone.

Good thing I'm such a devoted mother.

And that's why I'm off to Florida

on a singles weekend,
to look for a husband.

Now, you take good care
of my precious little babies.

They mean the world to me.

If I come back here and
find just one feather

out of place on their little heads,

(YELLS) I'm gonna eat you
with this cereal spoon!

(GASPS)

So long!

Don't you worry now.

I'm sure they'll be perfect little angels.

(ALL SHRIEKING)

Oh, my!

Oh, Courage. I'm so glad you're here.

We've got some hungry wee birdies to feed.

Would you mind getting them
something to eat?

Wens)

(SHRIEKING CONTINUES)

Ahhh!

(WHIMPERING)

Muriel? It's about time.

I'm dying of starvation here.

Oh.

Huh?

(SOBBING)

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

Oh!

Phew!

(STRUGGLING)

wens)

(PANTING)

(SHRIEKING)

NO, ho, no, Courage.

Baby birdies don't eat escargot with basil
and pancetta in an herb crust.

They eat worms.

Worms are good for birdies.

(GAGGING)

Please go and dig for some.

(MUNCHING)

(GROANS)

Ahhh!

(GROANS)

(BABY BIRDS CAWING)

(GAGGING)

(BABY BIRDS SHOUTING)

Oh, they're just wee babies.

They can't chew their food yet.

Oh, Courage, what are we gonna do?

(GULPS LOUDLY)

(BABY BIRDS COOING EXCITELDY)

Isn't that lovely?

(GROANS)

(BABY BIRDS CALLING)

Babies are so sweet, aren't they, Courage?

I just love to hear them at play.

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY)

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(COURAGE GROANING)

-(BEES DRILLING)
-(COURAGE SCREAMING)

(ALL CRYING)

Oh, thank goodness you're back!

(EXHAUSTED GRUNTING)

The poor dears are hungry again.

Eustace has a bucket of fishing bait
in the cellar.

I'm sure the wee birdies would
enjoy a meal of that.

(WHIMPERS)

Muriel, where's my breakfast?

(CLATTERING)

Stupid thieving dog!

Get back here with my bait!

Huh?

(EXCLAIMS IN FEAR)

(RATTLING)

Huh?

EUSTACE: I'm coming to get you, dog!

(GROANS IN EXHAUSTION)

Oh, there you are, Courage.

(BABY BIRDS CRYING)

(RATTLES)

-(SPITS)
- Yuck!

How utterly disgusting!

(BABY BIRDS CRYING)

Mmm.

Babies.

I love babies.

Let me help you name them.

How about Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner?

(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)

Oh, how very witty!

No!

Stay away from my babies,
you horrid creature, you!

Muriel! That you up there?

I'm hungry-

You come down here this instant!

MURIEL: No!

(GROANS)

(GRUMBLING)

Come here, babies. Don't be afraid.

Come and play with Papa's rattle.

(RATTLING)

(BUZZING)

(GRUMBLING)

(GROANS)

Ugh!

Honey?

Enough of this tomfoolery.

What in blue blazes is going on up here?

-(BEES DRILLING)
- Argh!

EUSTACE: Ow, ow!

(EUSTACE SCREAMING)

Huh?

Good heavens!

It's the mother of all chickens.

Huh? Huh?

A snake!

(SCREAMS)

What kind of birdie was that?

He was so strange, yet so familiar.

EUSTACE: Help!

Help!

MOTHER BIRD: Darlings!

Mama's back!

BABY BIRDS: Mama! Mama!

The singles mixer was a bust.

But on my way home,
I found the man of my dreams.

Kids, say hello to your new daddy.

(GRUMBLES)

(ALL COOING EXCITEDLY)

Where's my dinner?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

MOTHER BIRD: Isn't he just fabulous?

x (THEME sous) x

EUSTACE'. Stupid dog!

(LAUGHS)