02x04 - Aquaman's Outrageous Adventure!

[bunniefuu]

[SOLDIER GRUNTING]

[SOLDIERS CHEER]

Stand down, enemy ace.

Today we must fight a common foe: Injustice.

Who are you?

Someone who's not supposed to be here, but neither is that cannon.

A w*apon that destroys the enemy at such a distance it is not honorable.

Will you help me?

[SOLDIERS SCREAM]

We are even, dark knight of the skies.

I hope we do not meet again in combat.

For your sake.

Bad news.

Your government failed to pay the ransom so I have to cut you loose.

AQUAMAN: Ahoy there, evildoer.

Aquaman.

My old nemesis.

I'll fillet you like a flounder.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

An empty victory.

You'll never save them from their fiery fates.

Never?

Wanna bet?

[WHALE GROANING]

A fitting end to "The Rescue on Rainbow Reef!" Arthur, are you paying attention?

To the fact you've finally learned English?

How could I not?

It's wonderful.

- Arthur?

Arthur, look out! - Huh?

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Well, heh, that was [CHUCKLES]

outrageous?

Enough with the daydreaming, Arthur.

It's like you don't even wanna be here.

Of course I do, Mera, my pearl.

It's just all this driving's left me a bit overtired, that's all.

Arthur Jr.

, you're missing some really beautiful scenery.

Junior?

Arthur Jr.

What?

Arthur, please tell your son to watch his tone.

Yes, son.

Your mother is the queen, after all.

I don't understand why I had to come on this boring trip anyway.

To broaden your mind.

To experience new places and cultures.

I'd rather stay at home with my friends.

MERA: We're going to enjoy this vacation whether you like it or not.

AQUAMAN: Stand down, Black Manta! Your treachery ends here.

MERA: And you, Arthur.

Remember, we promised, no work on this trip.

Perish the thought, gem of my ocean.

This is supposed to be a family vacation.

The best vacation ever, by Neptune, I swear it.

We're going to act like real surface-dwellers.

AQUAMAN: And indeed we shall, my iridescent sea flower.

Just look at all the monuments to surface culture we can explore.

The World's Biggest Ball of Postage Stamps.

Boring.

Bigger than the Great Barrier Reef?

I doubt it.

The Museum of Cheese.

- Lame.

- Ha! I eat cheese for breakfast.

Not helping.

So sorry, my love.

Um, why don't you two order some of that surface-dweller dessert delicacy apple pie, for us while I check on the RV?

[LINE RINGS]

BATMAN: Hello?

Batman, old chum.

Aquaman, what is it?

I need to be rescued.

From this blasted vacation.

Not a good time.

I promised the wife I'd take two weeks off work, but I've got cabin fever.

Superheroing is in my blood.

[BATMAN GRUNTING]

Wait, you're fighting henchmen, aren't you?

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

The Penguin's on another crime spree.

[HENCHMAN GRUNTS]

The Penguin?

Need any help?

I could be in Gotham in no time.

- Enjoy your vacation, Aquaman.

- Wait, but l [LAUGHS]

Roasted rodent, anyone?

[SIGHS]

MAN 1: Hey, what's that?

MAN 2: It's the Arrow signal.

Well, hello there, danger.

We meet again.

Fools! Did they really think the Clock King could be thwarted by a simple time lock?

What?

Time's up, Clock King.

You're going back to counting the hours in your prison cell.

CLOCK KING: Ha! This is your death knell, Green Arrow AQUAMAN: Time's up, Clock King.

I already said that.

I saw your signal, noble bowman.

Thought I'd lend a glove.

I got this one, golden boy.

[ENGINE REVS]

Bash them to bits, my minutemen.

Henchmen.

Yes.

[GRUNTING]

GREEN ARROW: That's called bagging the bad guys Star City style, fish boy.

Indeed.

Truly you are the world's greatest archer.

[SCREECHING]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

CLOCK KING: That's far enough, super schwein.

[SCREAMING]

[SPEAKING GERMAN]

[GRUNTS]

Well done, my friends.

Now, that's how you stop a clock.

Yeah, whatever.

L Aah! Never underestimate the power of teamwork, my friend.

Say, how long does it take to eat a piece of apple pie?

[BELL RINGS]

[PANTING]

So how is it?

Mm.

Apples, yes.

[SCREECHING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

AQUAMAN: A real cowboy town, just like in the old west days.

Is that Jonah Hex?

[LAUGHING]

Do we have to do this?

How many of your friends can say they've been on a stagecoach?

Oh, aren't you coming, dear?

I'm feeling a little land-sick.

You two go on ahead, I'll get a sarsaparilla at the saloon.

[PHONE RINGING]

No time to chat, Aquaman.

But Green Arrow wanted me to say hello.

Hale fellow, that brash bowman.

I'm busy.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Eat lead, Batcreep.

[GRUNTS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Are you sure you don't need another hero?

The Penguin's one slippery customer.

Goodbye, Aquaman.

We're live on the scene at the Yarmouth gold mine where the Blue Beetle has just arrived to thwart a robbery perpetrated by a super-villain known as the Planet Master.

[GRUNTS]

That gold doesn't belong to you, Planet Master.

Insignificant bug.

Your puny powers are no match for the might of the planets.

Feel the strength of Jupiter.

[GRUNTS]

- Unh! - The speed of Mercury.

[GRUNTS]

The cold of Pluto.

Newsflash: Pluto isn't considered a planet anymore.

Insolence! Greetings from Neptune.

[GRUNTING]

Aquaman?

The Aquaman?

Get out.

What are you doing here?

Hello, my bug-eyed buddy.

I'm exploring that mysterious 30 percent of the Earth's surface not covered by water.

Fools.

Witness the power of the rings of Saturn.

You really don't wanna see the power of Uranus.

What say we silence this cosmic crook?

Comet-atcha! [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Well done, new chum.

Be sure to drop by the next time you're in Atlantis.

Really?

Awesome.

That about wraps it up for the Ooh, wait, um [CHUCKLES]

Do you think maybe I could title the adventure?

Of course, my young friend.

I got it.

"The att*ck of" That's right.

"The Plague of the Planet Master!" [GRUNTS]

Farewell.

MAN [ON TV]

: The Planet Master's daring robbery was thwarted by El Paso's own Blue Beetle and Aquaman.

That's not me, dear.

It's Ocean Guy.

Similar color schemes.

Oh, I couldn't help it, my queen.

The little blue guy needed a hand.

We're heroes, it's what we do.

Arg.

Ugh! But a king, a father, must never go back on his word.

From this moment forward, no more heroics.

I am on vacation with my beloved family! [GASPS]

[SIGHS]

[GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

Just think of the heroics that went into packing that much sod.

AQUAMAN: It's that villain, the Sportsmaster.

Oh, looks like he's on vacation too.

[PHONE RINGS]

Why, it's Batman.

You'll never guess what, old chum.

I'm actually enjoying this family vacation.

L [PENGUIN LAUGHING OVER PHONE]

PENGUIN: You fell right into my trap, masked meddler.

[PENGUIN LAUGHING]

And when the razor-sharp beak of my drinking bird finishes you off the Gotham crime world will make me its king.

BATMAN: Justice will deal with you, Penguin.

Eventually.

[LAUGHS]

[WHIRRING]

Great grouper.

Batman needs me.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Why are we going to Gotham?

Because, my precious coral Gotham City is one of the continent's oldest and most historic surface settlements.

It's a center of world art, commerce and culture.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[g*nf*re]

Windows up.

You're here to see Batman, aren't you?

What?

Is this where Batman lives, heh?

I had no idea.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Wait here, I'll be right back.

And keep the doors locked.

Batman! Hang on, old chum! Aquaman, look out! [YELLS]

Glad you could join us.

[LAUGHS]

MERA: Arthur?

Where are you?

[GASPS]

Mm, the fish are really biting today.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, I feel like I got clobbered by a hammerhead.

It's worse than you think.

My family.

You fiend! Release them at once or I'll Silence, you waterlogged whelp! As I was explaining to Batman my umbrella drones will fan out over the city and spray enough paralytic gas to render all its denizens unconscious.

With one touch of this button thousands of my umbrella rockets will launch from these tubes on parabolic trajectories over every corner It's my fault we're in this mess.

- I failed you both.

- It's okay, Dad.

Maybe vacations aren't for people like us.

Who needs them when you love your job?

And you do love your job.

Almost as much as I love you.

I'm sorry, am I interrupting?

I wouldn't want to bother you while I launch my umbrellas! [LAUGHING]

Show him why you're king of the sea.

[LAUGHING]

BATMAN: You're about to get your beak clipped.

Batman?

Free?

Into the fray, my fine-feathered finks.

Destroy them! - Now let's do what heroes do.

- Well said, my queen.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Now, this is the best vacation ever.

Unh! Agh! There's been a change in the forecast, Penguin.

A 100 percent chance of hard time at Blackgate Prison.

You'll pay for this, Batman.

Go.

Your friend needs your help.

[BEEPING]

Save some for me, Batbuddy! PENGUIN: Prepare to repel boarders.

ALL: Aah! [GRUNTING]

I've got your back, old friend.

[GRUNTS]

[LAUGHING]

I'll singe your wings permanently, Batman.

Huh?

[POLICE SIREN WAILS]

Thanks for taking time from your vacation to lend a hand.

Anytime, old chum.

I promised you a real family vacation and by Poseidon, that's what I intend to give you.

Now, who wants to see the Stonehenge made from old refrigerators?

Where's the fun in that?

Yeah, I wanna see you save the world again.

We'll call it "The Time My Dad Saved the World Again!" That's my boy.