04x08 - Squatting Tiger, Hidden Dog/Muted Muriel

[bunniefuu]

-We interrupt this program to bring you

Courage the Cowardly Dog show!

- Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog!
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Abandoned as a pup,
he was found by Muriel,

who lives in the middle of Nowhere
with her husband Eustace Bagge.

EU ST ACE GRUNT S}
-But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.

- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
-(SCREAMING)

Stupid dog! You made me look bad!

-(EUSTACE YELLS)
-(COURAGE SCREAMS)

(some CHIMES)

Yo, Auntie. What's up?

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

The source of all your power's
checking out?

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

Oh, no. That's your magic silkworm.

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

It sure is transcending this life.

Bye-bye, magic silkworm.

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

Yep, your power is draining away.

The people will sense
that you're vulnerable.

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

That is the only way
to contact the magic silkworm.

You got to use the bones
of someone truly innocent.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

Okay, Auntie.

I'll find you someone truly innocent.

(LAUGHS)

Can you believe it, Eustace?

The Great Wall of China.

Big deal.

"The longest structure ever made.

"One of mankind's great wonders."

But it's just a wall.
Ain't got no door in it.

Ain't got no windows.

Ain't holding up no ceiling.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

MURIEL: You should try to see the beauty.

(EUSTACE MUMBLING)

Watch where you're going, you fool!

(COURAGE SCREAMS)

Hey, lady with innocent soul.

I be your tour guide, show you Great Wall.

We've seen enough already.

A tour would be lovely.

Could you take us up to the top?

I take you up all right.

-(LAUGHS)
-(CROAKS)

Oh, my!

-(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
-(MURIEL SCREAMING)

(COURAGE GRUNTING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMS)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Big, stupid, dopey, idiot wall!

It don't keep out no mosquitoes,
or squirrels,

or stupid neighbors
coming to borrow sugar.

It's a wall.

Wall-to-wall wall.

(CROAKING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

What a lovely castle you have here,
and what a comfy hammock.

But if you don't mind,
it's a bit tight around the ankle.

I loosen your ankles
when I remove your bones.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

Oh, my!
Must be a local custom.

(GROANING)

(GASPS)

(some CHIMES)

De-boning begins!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(GASPS)

No!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(SPEAKING MANDARIN CHINESE)

She say, "Who dares to challenge
the will of the empress?"

Huh?

(CLAPPING THRICE IN RHYTHM)

(some CHIMES)

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(COURAGE SCREAMING)

And how will you pay
for the soup, stranger?

Huh?

Hmm.

Hmm.

You have a great journey ahead of you

that you must make to overcome your foes

and get back what is yours, your Muriel.

The noodles never He.

Now go.

(STRUGGLING)

No, my friend. It is not a portal.

(LAUGHING AWKWARDLY)

Your journey begins there.

-(CRYING)
-(ROARING)

(GASPS IN TERROR)

To defeat the tiger, you must
enter the jaws of the tiger.

No!

(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)

Yummy.

b*at it, kid.

(SCREAMING)

(CHOMPS)

Mmm.

And now you must learn your first lesson,

to relax completely In the face of danger.

You must concentrate on peaceful images.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh.

(VILLAGERS CLAMORING)

- VILLAGERS: Heave, ho!
-(TIGER GROANS)

You have learned your first lesson well.

Two more lessons await
on the rest of your journey.

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTS)

That is one stupid, courageous dog.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, dog-

Why don't you all
give this jug here a blow?

(DARTS WHOOSHING)

(SCREAMING)

Poison darts?

They be music haters!

(MUMBLING)

Uh-Oh!

(SHUDDERING)

SAGE". Lesson number two.

Use your enemy's force.

- Oh.
-(DARTS WHOOSHING)

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

(SNARLS)

(GULPS)

(SCREAMING)

Use your enemy's force against him.

(GRUNTS)

(STRAINED GRUNTING)

Oh...

(COUGHS)

Blegh!

You have learned
to make peace with danger.

Now you have the power.

(CHANTING)

(enemas)

It tickles a wee bit, this acupuncture.

This not acupuncture. This de-boning.

I taking out your bones.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(SHRIEKS)

(LAUGHING)

Hi-yah!

Ooh!

(CHAIN RATTLING)

(LAUGHING)

(GASPS IN TERROR)

(GROANING)

Oh, no!

(BUZZING)

(GASPS) The good empress
back to reclaim throne.

I not carry out bizarre t*rture
for evil empress.

Not de-boning, re-boning.
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

Oh, how lovely.

Because of you, peace and harmony
are returned to our kingdom.

Yay!

Oh, Courage.

Who could fail to see the beauty
of this magical land?

Mmm. Yeah.

Magical. (LAUGHS)

MURIEL: Eustace?

Eustace?

Are you listening to me?

Can you go to the store
and pick me up a bottle of vinegar?

Eustace? Vinegar!

Vinegar!

Eustace Bagge!

-(SHRIEKING)
-(THUDS ON CEILING)

Ahh! (WHIMPERS)

MURIEL: Eustace!

(MUMBLING) What?

Finally!

Eustace, can you go to the store
and pick me up a bottle of vinegar?

Why don't you leave me alone?
(MUTTERING ANGRILY)

Get out of my way, woman!

Is that the only thing
you have to say to me?

Nope.

I'm hungry! Where's my food?

Eustace, I don't think
you're being very polite.

Ha! Who cares what you think?

I think you'd care what I think.

I'd care what you think

if you said something
worth thinking about!

- I think you're stubborn!
- Mmm-hmm.

Don't care!

- And I think you're being very nasty!
- Mmm-hmm!

Don't care!

You're blocking me TV!

Darn TV-blocking woman!

(CHANGING CHANNELS RAPIDLY)

I've had it with you
not caring what I think or say!

(EUSTACE GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)

They should make a remote
that shuts off people!

Don't worry.

I'm shutting myself off.

I'm not speaking anymore.
Listen to the TV all you want.

You won't be hearing from me again.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Sorry, Courage.

My voice isn't welcome in this house,
so I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.

Huh?

What? I wasn't listening.

(LAUGHING)

Finally a little peace and quiet.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, stupid dog. Muriel talking yet?

Mmm-mmm.

Well, go get her to talk, dog.

I want to know if she's
gonna make me breakfast!

Ooh! (GRUNTS)

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

(CONTINUES SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

wens)

I can't believe
I got to buy me own breakfast.

(THUD)

(GRUNTING)

(LINE RINGING)

This is Dr. Vindaloo. You sick?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

The big lady is silent?

Ow'.!

She must be the one
to explain the problem to me.

Ouch!

Put big lady on phone.

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

-(TRIMMER WHIRRING)
- If patient cannot describe problem to me,

I cannot help, cannot help at all.

Ouch!

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

If the silent one won't speak,
you need more than a doctor to help.

You need magic.

(CHUCKLES) That's a good one.

Ouch!

Must hang up now.

Your Muriel will not speak
because of the stupid one?

What is it I can do?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Okay, I will unleash forces

which can only be stopped
by the sound of your Muriel's voice.

Huh?

These are powerful forces.

Very powerful.

(SHUDDERING)

I will make a spell

from deep below the planet's shell.

(PLAYS SAXOPHONE)

Deeper than the deepest well.

(PLAYS SAXOPHONE)

May forces rise to break the ground.

(CONTINUES PLAYING)

And cause your Muriel to sound.

-(CONTINUES PLAYING)
-(SIGHS)

Okay!

SHIRLEY: Uh, uh, uh.

There's more.

If your Muriel won't speak...

(PLAYS SAXOPHONE)

...much havoc will these forces wreak.

Or, in other words, it will not be pretty.

(GULPS)

(RUMBLING)

So it begins.

(GASPS IN TERROR)

(SCREAMING)

If I were you, I would get to
your Muriel before it does.

(GASPS)

I can provide speedy transportation
for a fee.

(STRAINED GRUNTING)

Phew!

Don't you have anything bigger?

It will have to do.

Oh!

(PEDALS SQUEAKING)

(HORN TOOTS)

(PANTING)

(BRAKES SCREECH)

(PANTING)

Watch where you're going, you fool!

(SCREAMS)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(CREATURE ROARING)

(CONTINUES PANTING)

(SHUDDERING)

Ooh!

(BABBLING EXCITEDLY)

(IMITATING CREATURE)

(IN MURIEL'S VOICE)
I'm talking now.

And the sound of my voice
will save the farm from getting destroyed!

EUSTACE: Will you quit that
stupid hippie music?

I'm trying to watch TV!

(CONTINUES PLAYING SITAR)

wens)

(GROUND RUMBLING)

No!

(SHRIEKING)

(COURAGE GRUNTS)

(SCREAMS)

(CREATURE ROARING)

(BABBLING)

I asked you to stop playing that stupid...
Huh?

(SCREAMING)

(BABBLING)

Oh...

COURAGE'. Muriel!

(GASPS) Courage!

Courage, are you okay?

(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

I thought I was going to lose you.

Did I stop it with my voice?

Mmm-hmm.

I guess what I say does matter.

(CHUCKLES)

At least to a huge, ugly creature.

(BABBLING)

And to you.

Yay!

Aw, Courage.
I'll never stop talking again.

MURIEL: And another thing, Eustace.

So, from now on, when I talk, you listen!

Got it?

I said, is that clear?

(MUFFLED) Mmm-hmm.

(STRAINED GRUNTING)

(POPS)

(LAUGHING)

(THEME some)

EUSTACE: Stupid Dog!