01x17 - Menace of the Conqueror Caveman!

[bunniefuu]

[TRAIN HORN BLARES]

Sorry to call you away from your nightly workout, Wildcat but I'm gonna need all the help I can to take down this escaped con.

Well, he better be as tough as you say because I got 567 pushups to get back to.

Go on, junior.

Give that a feel.

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

BATMAN: There.

Huh! [GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Ha
-ha
-ha.

You need my help for this 90
-pound weakling? What's the matter, Bats? Afraid he's gonna take your milk money? Ha
-ha
-ha.

You don't need me.

You need a fly swatter.

There's more to Bane than meets the eye.

I don't know whether to punch him or feed him a protein shake.

Wildcat.

[GRUNTING]


-I've got liver spots bigger than this punk.


-Wildcat.

[ROARS]

Aw, nuts.

[BANE GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[GROWLING]

BANE: Oh.

Uh! Ahh! Huh? [SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTS]

See? He wasn't so tough.

SKEETS: Watch out, 21st century heroes.

There's a new gold standard in crime
-fighting.

A savior that's come all the way from the future to show you how it's done.

It’s Booster Gold.

BOOSTER: Lights on.

As you can see the Booster Gold brand is highly marketable, and for the right price I'd be willing to work with you guys on an action figure toy line.

You're really a hero from the future? That's a fact.

[SNORING]

I created this flight suit and a time
-travel device to come here.

I'm sorry.

We just can't sell a toy line around you, um, uh.

Booster.

And have I mentioned my trusty robot sidekick here, Skeets can transform into a giant insect? No, no, no, wait.

A dinosaur.

You don't need a sidekick.

You need name recognition.

Maybe if you teamed up with an A
-list hero someone like Batman.

Just a sec.

Hey, big blue.

How's the cape hanging? What? No, I'm in a meeting.

How about you try to handle this one on your own? Not buying it, huh? Wait, you haven't even seen the Boostermobile.

Gold, like Booster Gold.

Ha, ha.

Get it? Aah! Ooh.

Skeets, old buddy, you know what I gotta do? [IN AUTOMATED VOICE]

I know what you should do, sir.

I gotta team up with Batman.

Or that.

[SIREN WAILING]

[expl*si*n]

[LAUGHING]

BATMAN: Sorry, Punch and Jewelee [ALL GRUNTING]

but you'll find there won't be much to laugh about behind prison bars.

BOOSTER: Nice take down, buddy.

Bet that'll get us a front
-page mention.


-Who are you?
-Your new partner.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

Here's the pitch.

The brave and the gold featuring Booster and Bats.

The ultimate team up.

What do you think? Yeah, I love it too.

You're that guy who uses his knowledge of the future to fight crime, and make a quick buck.

I'd never team up with someone in this for the glory.

In this for the glory? That hurts.

Just a sec.

Hi.

Great look.

The media loves that whole jester theme and I've been thinking an archenemy would really raise my profile.

When you get out, let's talk.

Anyway
-
- [BATS SQUAWKING]

[BEEPING]

BOOSTER: What kind of crime we busting tonight, partner? Trespassing.

How did you track me here? In the 25th century, the bat cave's a historical attraction.

With a rollercoaster.

In 400 years or so, I'm gonna hurk right up there.

What's this? [SIGHS]

I've been tracking missing quantities of leutonium and a recent scientific discovery that's gone missing.

Ah, the stolen Greenland meteorite.

Looks like a certain immortal caveman has risen again to conquer the world.

SKEETS: You know, sir, that immortal caveman.

Kru'll the Eternal? Oh, yeah.

The immortal caveman guy.

You should go.

Wait, I know him.

Kru'll's still around in the future.

I've even clashed with him once or twice.


-Unh!
-Excuse me.

[GRUNTS]

[WHINES]

Please, you gotta let me in on this.

Not unless you have a way to track leutonic energy in all that 25th century gear.

SKEETS: I run on a leutonium power cell, sir, and can scan for other sources.

Okay.

But you are not going to turn this into a marketing opportunity.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Just a sec.

Manny, my man.

Line up a book deal and a movie and we'll spin off the toy line from there.

I'm in with Bats.

KRU'LL: Huh.

Nothing.

I need still more leutonium to bring this rock back to life.

BATMAN: Bending legitimate scientific equipment to your evil will.

You fiend.


-Batman.


-And Booster Gold.

Hero from the 25th century.

That meteorite belongs to the public.

The rock is mine.

I found it 10,000 years ago and I won't part with it again.

Aah! [BOTH GRUNTING]

Once I find the leutonic energy I need, I will be unstoppable.

You're out of luck, Kru'll.

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

It’s hero time, Skeets.

Make sure you get a photo.

[SCREAMS]

[GROANING]

A supercollider is one aspect of particle physics that even a caveman can enjoy: Smashing things against a wall.

Before I k*ll you, Booster Gold, man of the future tell me, does the world prosper under my rule?
-Huh?
-Punh! SKEETS: Way to keep the super villain talking, sir.

[YELLS]

[BOOSTER YELLING]

And now for you, Batman.

You, I'm going to have stuffed and mounted in my den.

Not in your lifetime.

[BOTH GRUNT]

SKEETS: Sir, we're gonna smash so hard we'll explode into plasma.

But I may be able to overload the magnetic field and blast us free.

COMPUTER: Sequence initiated.

[YELLS AND GRUNTS]

You broke the magnetic field? The power you'd need is unthinkable.

Ha.

Skeets runs on a genuine Nothing like it in this time.

No, there isn't.

He took Skeets.

And the meteorite.

We gotta save him, Bats.

Skeets is my best bud, my wingman.

The only one I've ever been able to count on.

Right now he's counting on you, Booster.

We all know I'm not much of a hero.

Maybe you've just never had anything worth fighting for until now.

[WHIRS]

Soon, my loyal servants, you will be my eternity warriors.

Immortal as I am and just as powerful.

I feel compelled to warn you that Booster Gold will be here any moment to foil your villainous plot.

I'm afraid nothing can stop this final evolution of a simple caveman.

KRU'LL: One that began all those generations ago when a magic rock fell from the sky.

It bathed me in mysterious rays.

A simple Cro
-Magnon becomes a super warrior.

Time passed.

Modern man wiped out my kind, but not me.

I would not die.

I was Kru'll the Eternal.

Yet, I outlive whatever I conquer.

My people always die out, leaving me alone.

Or they did until scientists rediscovered my magic rock in Greenland.

I vowed to create a race of super humans to fight by my side.

But to do that, the meteorite requires a massive jolt of leutonic energy.

Yes, and once we combine these treasures from future and past Kru'll the Eternal will rule all.

[SCREAMS]

We'll enlist the crime fighter's best ally: the element of surprise.

BOOSTER: Ouch.

[WHISPERS]

Sorry.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]

Now the moment of my greatest triumph is at hand.

Kru'll is brilliant.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Skeets.

Intruders.

[BOOSTER GRUNTS]

[KRU'LL YELLS]

KRU'LL: Just like the Aztec warriors, there is no quit in you.

[GRUNTING]

But they too eventually fell before me.

BOOSTER: The guillotine.

Retro.

I dig it.

But, dude, we shouldn't be enemies.

We should be partners.

You want an empire? I can help you build it.

Radio, print, TV and the Internet.

Toy line, hello? Do you ever stop? And we'll split it fifty
-fifty.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Sixty
-forty.

lf you are the quality of hero the future has to offer then I shall have no problem keeping the world under my boot heel.

Ha! I knew the Boostermobile was good for something.

You broke my buddy.

I'm gonna break you.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Sweetie, they're winning.

Not for long.

[GASPS THEN YELLS]

[GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

Ah.

Aah.

[ALL YELLING]

[GASPS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[WARRIORS GROWLING]

Yikes.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Aah! [YELLS]

Ugh! [BEEPING]

[expl*si*n]

[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[CRACKLING]

[LAUGHING]

Once a caveman, always a caveman.

It always comes down to bashing something with a rock.

I'll crush you for that.

Brains Tr*mp brute force, Kru'll.

[GROANS]

Unh! Brute force.

Mm! Wait a second.

Skeets, dump your charge out.

But, sir, I've been holding back.

BOOSTER: Trust me.

[ALL YELLING]

[ALL GROANING]

What happened? Am I gonna live forever? You deluded creature.

Still hoping to get something for nothing.

Skeets.

Speak to me, buddy.

I knew you would save me, sir.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

Because, you know, I need to make some calls and this ear bud's got like zero bars.

I'm on it, sir.

You'll get life for this.

[SCOFFS]

Your prison will be dust long before Kru'll the Eternal is.


-I'm glad we could work together.


-Wow.

My thoughts exactly.

And there's a lesson to be learned.

You were a hero because you ignored the glory and remembered what mattered most was
-
- BOOSTER: Just a sec.

Manny, call the toy company.

I teamed up with Batman, and guess what.

We won.

I know.

Huh? News crews? What do you mean there has to be a camera? Stupid 21st century media.

Until we meet again, Booster Gold.


-Unh!
-Excuse me.

[GRUNTS]

Wait.

You remind me of somebody I met years and years ago.

Just a sec.

Second floor's almost clear.

Yeah? Tell me that when I'm famous.

You.