03x10 - Powerless!

[bunniefuu]

Welcome, fellow batmen of all nations.

I call this meeting to order.

El gaucho, please review the minutes from our last gathering.

Si, Batman.

Our annual masked charity ball raised over 100 million euros for the retired heroes foundation.

And at long last, the remodeling of our headquarters está completo.

Excelente.

Musketeer.

As you can no doubt see, the 6 statues you commissioned of les Batman sont arrivée.

I didn't commission any statues.

The batmen of all nations? None of you even look like bats.

Let me show you how a real tribute society works.

Introducing the jokers of all nations! Get 'em, boys! Arrivederci, pagliacco! Les jeux sont fait, mon ami! Gracias, ranger.

And adiós, luchador joker de japonés! Wingman, look out! Almost forgot, Batsy.

Brought you a little housewarming gift.

There.

The house feels warmer already! The hammers of justice will always pound straight the bent nails of evil.

cool! Let's jump it on our bikes.

I don't know, Chris.

It looks dangerous.

Don't be such a baby, Kyle.

It's captain atom! That's right! And those wires would have given you the shock of your life.

For a superhero, this downed power line is child's play.

But to a child, it's a death trap.

Gee! Thanks, captain atom.

Next time, be a hero by remembering you're not.

Saving the youth of the world, one public service announcement at a time.

I didn't think it was possible, Sounds like the JLI's newest member is going to fit right in.

Quite the team you've assembled, Manhunter.

Well, except for Batman here.



- Say what?

- Excuse me? The guy has no superpowers, not even a lame one.

And yet, everyone here thinks he's the greatest superhero in the universe.

'Cause it's true! Boom.

You're dead.

Boom.

You're dead again.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

That's all it would take.

Sir, you are crossing a line.

Even the villains must buy into it, 'cause otherwise, he would have been squashed the moment he stepped out of Gotham.

Your deluge of destruction is over, despero.

Your wicked winds wane tonight, weather wizard.

Your sinister subterfuge ceases now, star sapphire.

Your Titanic tantrum of terror terminates tight, Giganta.

Guys, don't get me wrong.

Batman would make an awesome cop.



- Thanks.



- But a superhero? Come on.

That takes superpowers.

Who is this guy? Former United States air force captain Nathanial Christopher Adams, aka Allen Adams, aka Cameron Scott.

He was atomized in a scientific experiment gone awry and acquired the power of super strength, flight, and energy blast projection.

Impressive.

But he should try mixing a little humility with those super powers, like I do.

The trouble alert.

It's major force, and he's attacking the Pentagon.

My old Nemesis.

Looks like I get to show you guys a real superhero in action.

Listen up, maggots.

I know it's here, so hand over the quantum vacuum.

You jerks are about to get a face full of unfriendly fire.

At ease, soldiers.

As you weren't.

Leave those privates alone, major force.

And that's an order.

Leave this to the heavy a*tillery, Batman.

Aah! Out of the way.

He's mine! Battling villains is no excuse for rudeness, chum.

Nice recon, captain.

This is just what I was looking for.

Neptune's beard! He's been reduced to Huh? Just a man! Make that a dead man.

You'll get yours later, captain.

I have what I came for.

We've got to go after him and get the quantum vacuum back.

He's got my powers! Batman to J'onn.

Have the rest of the league intercept major force before he destroys Washington.

And beam us up to the tower.

What? No!

- Easy, cap

-

- uh, mate.

Let the league handle this.

You have bigger fish to fry.



- This is what was stolen

-

- a prototype quantum vacuum, which taps into the same energy field as you and major force.



- He can use it to absorb any form of nuclear

-level power until he's virtually unstoppable.

I'll prepare the watchtower to hold major force for the authorities, once the league apprehends him.

What can I do? In your compromised condition? It's best if you confine yourself to quarters.

Hey, I can get by without powers no problem.

He does it.

How hard can it be?

- Let me give you a hand with that lead

-lined dampener, Aquaman.

Careful there, champ.

These things are heavier than they look.

Don't want you to hurt yourself.

OkDad.

Whoa! Oh! Ohh! It's martian Manhunter! Good catch, my chartreuse shipmate! Aquaman is right, Nate.

You're going to have to learn to accept your new limitations.

Like you always said, "next time, be a hero by remembering you're not.

" I've just become my own PSA.

Now, let's see what this baby can do.

Booyah! They're going to have to start calling me general force now.

Time to cause a little collateral damage.

And how's earth's formerly mightiest mortal doing? Hmmph.

Try to stay positive, old man.

Why don't you fix yourself a sandwich? Food always puts me in a better mood.

Hmmph.

Aquaman, we need to Uh

- Perhaps I

-

-

- I've got it.

IHave The power What's happened to me? It's ok, Nate.

Now I know how You must feel.

Like a total loser.

Typical.

Wait.

I need help.

Show me how you do it.

Please? This is the justice league training room.

Here, through holographic simulations, you will learn to rely only on your wits and intestinal fortitude.

To ease you in, we'll start with a typical level of thr*at I encounter on day

-to

-day patrol.

Good, 'cause I can handle anything you can dish out.

Then open wide.

Oh, yeah.

Let's dance, Darkseid.

Boom, you're dead.

I wasn't ready.

Let's dial it back to something a little more street level.

Bring it on.

Grundy, when I'm through with you, you're going to wish you never d*ed.

Huh? Third time's the charm, right?

- Drop the loot, punk, before I

-

- I'm useless.



- You're up, Aquaman.



- I'm on it! Don't let your repeated and crushing defeats get you down, old chum.

Why, taking a savage b*ating is part of being a hero.



- Yeah, a c

-list, no

-power

-having loser hero, maybe.



- Is Batman a c

-lister? Is that what you think? Poppycock! He knows how to take a b*ating, never giving up until he wins.

And why? Because he has heart, and heart is the only superpower you need.

super breath can come in fire, frost, or just plain bad shrinking's a power but it's kind of sad shifting shape into a snake can give folks quite a fright but only your heart will win us the fight there's portal creation and astral projection telekinesis and dead resurrection with mind control, you're on a roll and if you're lucky, flight but only your heart will win us the fight who are you just a man, or a superman the man we turn to for the plan who are you just a man, or a superman the man we need to take a stand there's time travel stretching and even wall

-crawling a sonic scream helps you with your bad guy

-brawling fists of steel can make you feel an increased sense of might but only your heart will win us the fight who are you just a man, or a superman the man we turn to for the plan who are you just a man, or a superman the man we need to take a stand what was that? I call it "Aquaman's rousing song of heroism.

" You don't look roused.

Aquaman.

Nate.

The JLI located major force.

I trust he was taken down without much of a fight.

I'm afraid it's not force who's gone down.

I'm coming with you.

No.

We have an important task for you on the watchtower.

Monitor duty.

But what about "your heart will win you the fight?" That was just a song.

This is real life, man.



- Your fission

-fueled frenzy is over, major force.

I'm commandeering the world's m*llitary might, Batman.

You grunts can volunteer to serve my cause or become casualties of w*r.

Grunt? You're talking to the king of the sea! Ha! That's showing him.



- Uh

-oh.

Ugh! He's mopping the floor with them! Aah! Time to wave the white flag, heroes.

Huh? Not bad, for a civilian.

Do you really think you can defeat me without any power? No.

But I can defeat you with too much power.

You're on overload, major.

Now, this is more like it.

Walloping white whales! He's back! A soldier is supposed to serve his country.

You don't deserve to call yourself major.

You handled yourself like a real hero out there, captain.

But I hope you learned a valuable lesson from losing your powers.

Boy, did I, and it's a lesson I'll be passing on to others.

Come on.

I'll race you across.

I don't know, Chris.

That ice doesn't look too safe.

- Don't be such a scaredy

-cat, Kyle.

Aah! Chris! It's captain atom! That's right, and that water would have put you on ice.

You don't have super powers, and that makes you some of the most fragile and pathetic organisms in the whole universe.

Trust me, I know.

Gee, thanks, captain atom.

Next time, be a hero by remembering you're not.