01x11 - H.O.U.S.E. Rules

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:
Previously on Eureka.

BEVERLY: (ON SCREEN)
All this secrecy
isn't healthy.

I suggest instead,
you start talking
to each other.

I thought I would give you
a few issues to discuss.

Allison Blake.

Oh, crap!

You're a dead woman!

I'm all yours, princess.

Like your problem with Carter
is strictly professional.

I hate the way
he looks at you.

Oh, I don't look
at her.

Oh, please,
like a shark-eyeing chum.
Really?

Am I supposed to ignore that
Mayberry's hitting on my wife?

Soon to be "ex."

You do realize
I'm standing right here?

Don't the two of you
ever get tired of bickering?
Not really.

All anyone around here
does is feed on me.

It's time for me
to leave Eureka.

ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Warning! System overload!

(ALARM BLARING)

(COUGHING)

Warning! System overload!

Yeah!

Yeah, I don't know
what to say.

Don't say anything.

In fact, you've the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say...

Carter,
what are you doing?

My job,
and you're welcome.

Can and will be
used against you
in a court of law.

And he was doing his job,

working on
a classified project.

Which was what?
To atomize your facility, huh?

A little help, Allison.

I'm sorry, Carter.
Technically, he hasn't
broken any laws.

Un-cuff him, Sheriff.

Right.

You know what?
Here, do it yourself.

And the next time
one of your braniacs

tries to blow up
your building,

don't think
I'm going to stop him.

In fact, I might help.

SARAH, beer!

Morning.

Nice hair.

Thanks.
I've been working
on it all night.

Shouldn't you
be at school?

Shouldn't you
be at work?

Nope. It's a sick day.

SARAH: Your vital signs
seem normal, Sheriff.

I don't detect
that you're sick.

But I am sick.

I'm sick of saving a man
that I can't stand.

I'm sick of nobody
saying "thank you,"

and I'm sick
of this ridiculous town,
and everyone in it.

Well, aren't you
in a mood?

Mmm-hmm.
SARAH, fill it.

Breakfast of champions.

Mmm-hmm.

And go to school, already.
You're ruining my sick day.

Okay, what is this about?

This isn't just about
you being pissed at Stark.

I don't even want
to hear that name,
so that's a new house rule.

And, FYI,
last night's catastrophe
gave me some clarity.

About?

I think Henry's
got the right idea.

You know, getting
while the getting's good?

Dad, are you serious?

Do you know
what's going to happen
to this town when he leaves?

He's the glue and
I'm the one who's gonna have
to pick up all the pieces.

So...

I don't know.
I think he should stay.

Is that what
this is really about?

Henry leaving?

Go on. You're going
to be late for school.

Is it okay to
leave you alone?

SARAH: No...
Yeah!

I'm gonna be fine.
And I'm sick,
until further notice.

SARAH?

I need you to do
a property search for Baja.

Are you planning
a vacation?

Yeah, maybe a permanent one.

SARAH: Any plans today?
Perhaps a shower?

I do that everyday,
and today is...

Another sick day?
Bingo!

So, let's go bottom left.
Enlarge.

Oh, that's a nice house.
That suits me, the new me.

Projected models
of rising sea levels
and coastal erosion

suggest this property
to be a bad investment.

Oh, right.
How about that upper right?

A lawless border town
with the highest per capita
crime rate in Mexico.

Criminals are rarely
apprehended or prosecuted.

Sounds familiar.
Okay. Let's try Cancún.

You're mine!

(BEEPING)

Oh, crap.

In your face.

Three rounds to none.

We never discussed grenades!

w*r is hell, my defeated foe.

(PAGER BEEPING)

911. Gotta fly.

Jo? You, you dropped a clip.

Not cool.

My pager went off.

Mine, too.

w*r is hell.

(PAGER BEEPING)

GIRL: Here you go, Allison.
Thank you.

Fargo.

(PAGER BEEPING)

SARAH: Since you won't shower,
shall I mist you with vanilla?

No.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Is that our door?

Oh! Meaty meat
with extra meat?

And triple cheese?

Nice! Bring the bad boy
over here.

Thank you.
Money's right over there.

SARAH: I fail to see
the wisdom of consuming pizza
after cereal and beer.

Oh, would you stop
nagging me, woman?

Dude,
is that your wife?

Might as well be, yeah.

Hey, what's this?

It's a hockey stick.

No, it's Dodgers.
World Series.

I'm more of
a Sudoku kind of guy.

Hey, can I use
your can?

Sure. Yeah,
just over there.

Cool.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

SARAH, door.

Okay, I'm here.

Yeah, you are.

You paged me.

No, I didn't.

You said it was urgent,
possibly classified.

Sheriff, I got here
as quickly as I could.

Okay, why?

You're depressed.

I'm not depressed.

"Come quick,
very depressed, Carter."

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(SIGHING)

SARAH, I know I asked you
to install a doorbell,

but just disconnect it.

Do you know
your phone isn't working?

What's up?
What's going on,
Sheriff?

Let me guess.
I paged all of you?

That we know.
No, you don't,
'cause I didn't.

Well, if you didn't,
who did?

Beats me.
Love to.

Hey, buddy,
you got a plunger?

Oh, just get out!
All of you!

I just want to spend the day
on the couch,

and it's obviously
a prank, so...

SARAH, door.

SARAH: I'm sorry, Jack.
I'm afraid I can't do that.

Why not?

Because Eureka is
facing imminent disaster.

SARAH,
what imminent disaster?

Is it a hurricane?
An earthquake?

SARAH: Disharmony.

The threads
of human congruity
are unraveling.

It has already led
to Dr. Deacon's decision
to leave Eureka.

And that's just
the tip of the iceberg.

SARAH, Henry leaving Eureka
doesn't mean we're facing
imminent disaster.

I mean,
no offense, Henry.

No offense taken.

My projected models suggest
that each person in this room

plays a vital role
in securing Eureka's future.

Or negating it.

Wait, you paged us?

You left me no choice.

There is a high probability
that Dr. Deacon's decision
to relocate

will precipitate a series
of catastrophic events,

beginning with the fact
that Sheriff Carter

has begun to question
his commitment to Eureka,
as well.

No, he hasn't.

What about vacation homes?

It was a fantasy.

It's a really good fantasy.

Yeah.

According to my projections,
if interpersonal conflicts
cause both men to leave,

the outcome is disaster,
and each of you will share
responsibility for that.

JO: His cell phone's
not working.
And you're speeding.

TAGGART:
You saw Carter's page.
It's an emergency.

Okay, and I don't want
to be the emergency,
so keep it under 60.

You sound like
my mum.

(IMITATING JO)
"Keep it under 60,
keep it under 60."

No, I don't.
You do.

(PHONES BEEPING)

I can't get out, so I assume
no one else can either.

Cans don't work.
No.

SARAH, I think
maybe you're reading
too much into this.

We're not in conflict.

Really?

Henry, no community is
always in perfect harmony.

Issues come up,
living in a small town,
working closely together.

Too small.
Too closely.

What are you implying?

What are you inferring?

BEVERLY:
Maybe she's implying
what SARAH's inferring?

That this might be
an opportunity
to clear the air.

I think more air
has been cleared recently
than anyone ever wanted,

don't you?

I think we all said
and did things we regret

under the influence
of that pollen.

Yes, but no one else broadcast
everyone else's secrets
to the entire town.

You're right,
and I've already
apologized for that.

(SIGHING)
I know that. I just...
I need some water.

Yeah. No conflict here.

Nah.

All right,
this has been fun.

Fargo,
where's the back door?

There's a back door?
Not that I've found.

No, no,
a hacking back door,

a hidden code
programmed
in the computer

allowing access
to its brain.

Fargo, please tell me
you laid in a back door.

I'd really, really like to.

Sometimes your lack of
foresight is astonishing.

But the intention
is admirable.

There's gotta be
another way out of here.

It's a waste of time.
Tell him, Fargo.

I'm not telling him that.
I'm in enough trouble.

Well, then tell him
to make my bed
while he's up there.

He might as well do
something productive.

Hey, what's this?

Nothing. Gotta go.
Carter needs us.

You designed
a paintball battle plan?

Give me that. You know,
you are in clear violation

of the paintball
rules of engagement.

Me? You've got
a regiment of splatter-bots

ready to as*ault
my rear flank.

You'll know
when I as*ault
your rear flank.

Did you tuck my sheets in
real tight?

Henry, please,
just change your mind

so we can all
get the hell out of here.

Yeah. I can sit
on my couch.

I haven't
changed my mind.

(SOFTLY)
Maybe you could just pretend.

I'm pretty sure
that SARAH can
hear you guys.

Why are you
leaving, Henry?

Because our work
has become about results,
instead of discovery.

You don't get funding
for discovery unless
someone is producing results.

That's an ugly
shortsighted system.

I mean, Fargo turns
a relic of w*r into
something beautiful

and life affirming
and then gets chastised

because it's actually trying
to help us avert disaster.

He got chastised because
it's holding us hostage.

Fine. You know what?
I didn't sign up
for any of this.

No.

Me neither.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

CARTER:
Oh! Hey, SARAH! It's Jo!
You wanna let her in?

Jo? Jo!
Jo, we're trapped!
Fargo...

SARAH's gone HAL on us.
Get us out of here!

She can't hear you.

SARAH: But I can.

Sheriff Carter does not
wish to be disturbed.

He's feeling ill.

I know,
but he paged us.

It must have been
sent in error.

SARAH, let her in.

I believe one of you
may try to exploit
the opportunity to leave.

No, we won't. Right?

No, we won't.
No.

FARGO: Jo, we're trapped!
SARAH's gone HAL on us.
Get us out of here!

When I'm stressed,
my subtext comes out
as text.

Fargo, do you want me
to duct-tape shut your mouth?

No!

SARAH?

I'm opening the COM line,
Sheriff.

Hey!

Carter, you all right?
You 911 'd me.

CARTER: Yeah.
False alarm.

Just feeling really sick.

Then why
all the company?

What company?

It's just me and SARAH.

You having
some kind of party?

No, no, no, no party.
Just trying to get some rest.

So, thanks for checking in
on me, Josefina.

Okay. See you tomorrow, Jack.

(WHISPERS)
Good one.

That's your name?
Josefina?

And a very pretty name
it is, too.

Don't call me
Josefina.

Nobody calls me
Josefina.

I can't believe
he called me Josefina.

Oh, I heard.

Something's wrong.

CARTER: This house
has a force field?

HENRY: Well, technically
there's no such thing.

It's a monofilament
electrified mesh,

which forms
a near-invisible barrier.

How is that
not a force field?
SARAH?

Why isn't she
responding
to the Sheriff?

SARAH?
She's unhappy.

No, I'm unhappy.
You all ruined my sick day.

And SARAH
feels your pain.

The overriding concept
behind a Smart House

is to bond
with its owner.

Oh, yeah?
Bad house! Bad!

Sheriff, I don't see
how shaming your house
could possibly help.

Oh, no. Not my house,
Stark's house. He built it.

Not my house,
Fargo's house.
He built it.

Didn't build it.
I reprogrammed it
and jazzed it up a little.

So, this is
Fargo's fault?

Yes, Henry.

I put my faith in him,
like I put my faith in you.

And I'm a little disappointed
with the outcome.

Faith goes both ways, Nathan,
as does disappointment.

Stop it. Can we forget
whose house it is

and figure out
how to get out of it?

Taggart, we're like,
a mile away from
where we need to be.

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)
It's the nearest access point.

Trust me.

Jo, please,
you're not gonna
be able to...

(METALLIC CLANGING)

Need a hand?

I'm good. Step back.

(CRASHING)

TAGGART: Careful!
First step's a bitch.

(GROANING)

BEVERLY:
Looks like the men
are trying to save us.

We may be here
for a while.

I just want to get
the hell out of here.

Look, Allison,
I really am sorry.

I just...
It just takes time,
you know?

What part exactly?

What do you mean?

I mean, are you upset
because I told

or because it's possible
I was right?

Well, can't we
just cut the power?

Not without cutting off
the air supply

and locking the door
for good.

(SIGHING)
We need dynamite.

God, I wish
Lupo were here.

That's it.
We'll just blow her up.

She's not here.

Whoa.

TAGGART: A labyrinth of
interconnecting tunnels,

housing Eureka's
sewage system, gas,

electrical, plumbing,
fiber optics...

That's a lot of pipe.

She's a beauty.

More deceptive
than the kelp forests
of Tasmania.

More malodorous
than the sulfur springs
of Waiotapu.

You spend a lot of time
down here?

More than
I bargained for.

I chased down
cunning predators

that escaped
from Global Dynamics.

Musculus barilius.

English?

Smart mice.

IQ's through the roof.
Little varmints
used vector formulas

to keep me off their tracks.

How'd you catch them?

Smart cheese.

Though the female
of the species

proved to be much more
clever than the male.

Just like humans.

Rightio.

Follow my lead.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I believe
I'm the ranking officer here.

You follow my lead.

Fair dinkum. Which way?

I know which way I would go.
Which way would you go?

Exactly the way
I would've gone.

Okay.

Hey, you sure
about this?

If we can create
a power surge on one grid,

we may throw
SARAH offline.

Or electrocute ourselves.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Everyone,
watch your distance.

Okay. Come on.
SARAH: Nathan?

What are you doing,
Nathan?

And on three, two, one.

I am detecting a surge
in the electrical system.

Warning! Overload!

I am detecting a surge

(DISTORTED)
In the electrical system...

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah, you did it!

In a town
full of super geniuses,

why is it
that the pizza guy's
the only guy

with the presence of mind
to walk out the door?

SARAH, have you
lost your mind?

ELECTRONIC MALE VOICE:
SARAH's not here.

Adopting and initializing
SARAH's primary objective now.

What the hell is that?

What the hell is...

We can't hear you!

The partition must
be soundproof.

Great.
What is that?

I am BRAD.

CARTER: BRAD?

I hope to God Fargo
didn't program SARAH
on top of BRAD.

You built SARAH
on top of BRAD?

Al's are often built
on top of the programming
of older generation Al's.

I just figured since BRAD
was an abandoned project...

BRAD was programmed as
a m*llitary interrogation Al.

Battle Reactive
a*t*matic Defense.

Doesn't exactly feel
like he's defending us.

No, he had his own
interpretation of defense.

The best defense
is a good offense.

BRAD, where's SARAH?

BRAD:
Detainees have no rights.

Initiating phase two protocols
to achieve primary objective,

remorse and reconciliation.

Oh, that doesn't
sound good.

No.

You don't have a clue,
do you?

Labyrinth.

Do you have a clue,
Josefina?

Oh, it sounds prettier
every time I hear it.

You get one free pass.

That was it.

I'm picking up a scent.

Sewage?

Yeah, but mixed

with the aroma
of highly seasoned meat.

Pepperoni.

No, sausage.

(SNIFFING)

Exhaust from the bunker.
This way.

No!

Shatter resistant.

Why?

(WHIRRING)

BRAD's turned on the AC?

If by AC you mean
Arctic conditions, then yes.

It must be
a 100 degrees in here.

Hotter. We're gonna die.

Way to be reassuring, Fargo.

Down.

Oh, my God.

BRAD's releasing
the fire-suppression
system.

Argonite?

Yeah, which means that
if we don't shut if off,
we'll suffocate.

(ALARM SOUNDING)
BRAD: Intruder alert!
Intruder alert!

There's my Josefina.

Oh! Or not.

Who the hell...
Or what the hell?

All the time
I've spent down here,

never seen
sensor-cams before.

Must be linked to
the bunker's defense system.

Oh, crikey!
Look at them all!

Well, lucky
we're both hunters.

For a moment there,
I thought we were in trouble.

There could be
a control unit
behind this panel.

(LAUGHING)

Something funny, Henry?

I'm just appreciating
the irony of our situation.

Which would be what?

Well, I'm leaving Eureka
because I'm tired of watching
noble ideas

being turned into weapons,

and here we are...

Here we are,
at the mercy of a w*apon

that had been turned
into a noble idea.

Well, that's the way
the system works.

One doesn't exist
without the other.

Spoken like
a true bureaucrat.

You know,
I'm getting really tired
of the remarks, Henry.

Well, you won't have to
put up with them much longer,
will you?

No, no that's true.

'Cause you're
bailing out on me.

Of all my students,

you were the one

that had the potential
to do anything.

But you chose to do
the administrative shuffle,

management,
defense contracts,
political glad-handing.

I mean, you could've
furthered science

in so many ways.

But you chose
to further your career.

How can someone
with such a high IQ
be so clueless?

Henry, you don't get to do
what you do,

unless someone like me
does what I do.

Do you think it's easy
shielding you
from the politics,

so you can work
the way you want to work?

You think I was popular
bringing you to Eureka
in the first place?

I didn't ask
to be brought here.

No. No, you'd given up.

You were persona non grata,
Henry,

because you didn't work
well within the system.

Well, I ignored that,
because of my respect
for you as a scientist

and as a mentor
and as a friend.

Idealists don't get much done
without a few pragmatists

running interference
for them.

So, get off
your moral high horse.

(SIGHING)

Is the system perfect? No.

It's political and ugly

and compromising.

But in spite of that,
I feel we still do more good
than harm.

And you, of all people,
should appreciate that.

You leave now, Henry,
and you're part
of the problem.

Not the solution.

I can't believe
I've survived holes in time

and Cold w*r death raids,

just to freeze to death
in my own damn house...
Bunker.

Don't say that.
We're gonna get out of this.
Sure.

And then Stark will step in
and give everybody permission

to do whatever
the hell they want,

and then it'll start
all over again.

Come on, Carter,
the whole point of Eureka
is to push the envelope.

It's just...

The reason I do
what I do...

I mean, the reason
I chose my job was
to make a difference.

I don't think
I can do that here.

You have made a difference
to a lot of people.

You've made
a difference to me.

So, are you just gonna leave?

I don't know.

Well, for the record,
you do what's right,

and people admire that.
And that is what
makes a difference.

I don't want other
people's admiration.

What do you want?

Well,
I'm not sure if I'm ready
to admit what I want.

But in the meantime,

I'll settle for you putting
your arms around me
and holding on tight,

so I can maybe regain
some sensation
in the lower extremities.

I can do that.
Okay.

Oh, crap!

If I'm right,
this leads directly
to the Smart House.

And if you're wrong?

I'll release
an unending torrent
of raw sewage upon us.

(GRUNTING)

Superior species, huh?

I got it! I got it!
I got it!

You don't. Move.

Paint might lube it up.

You got a better idea?

I do, actually. Yeah.

It's gonna take the strength
of three men.

I figure
you're good for two.

Grab my butt, yeah?

Sorry. One, two, three.

Come on, Jo,
give it some welly.

(CLANGING)

Get ready for stinky.

After you.

No, no. Go ahead.

No, you first.
No, really. I insist. Go.

Beauty before brawn.

I've got to get out
of this dress.

Fargo, please, turn around.

Okay, sure.

Oh, my God!

Fargo,
I said please don't look.

You have to hug me.
What?

Trust me.

BRAD's not trying
to t*rture us.
He's trying to k*ll us.

No, he's trying to defeat us.
Come here.

What are you doing?

All BRAD's phase two
battle simulations ended

in either
a complete annihilation

or unconditional
surrender.

He just had to win.

Which means you and I
need to get along.

I was wrong, Nathan.
I'm sorry.

No, Henry. I was wrong.

Oh, wow.
That's just wrong.

Fargo,
what are we doing?

Making love, not w*r.

I'm sorry, Fargo.
Even if we're gonna die,
it's never gonna happen.

Not literally.

BRAD, we surrender.

I repeat,
unconditional surrender.

Fargo! Fargo,
we're free. Let go.

What happened?

Phase two disengages upon
unconditional surrender.

Well done, Fargo.
Thanks, Dr. Stark.

That's it?
That's it.

I wish therapy
were that easy.

Then again,
if everyone's issues
could really be resolved

with a hug,
I'd be out of business.

(SHUSHING)

Do you hear that?
What's that?

BRAD: Phase three.
You have surrendered
under false pretenses.

I think he heard you.

I'm sorry.

What's happening?

He's extracting our oxygen.

I'm really sorry.

HENRY: Once oxygen levels
fall below 17%

we'll be experiencing hypoxia,
oxygen deprivation.

Or could we cover
all the air vents?

Yeah. That'll probably
slow down the vacuum.

So, grab paper,
anything, to cover the vents.
This'll work.

No, not the Jeremiah Harm.

Fargo, you were saying
before about cutting off
the power?

Yeah, that it would be bad
because it would cut off
the air supply.

Yeah, seeing as we're all
losing air anyway,
let's reassess that option.

Yes,
if we shut down the power,
maybe that'll stop BRAD

from sucking out
all the oxygen.

Fargo, where's the generator?

It's not your
typical generator.

Oh, wow.

What the hell is that?

An RTG.

Radioisotope
thermoelectric generator.

I live with
a nuclear reactor?

Generator.

Same one they use
on the Cassini space probe.

It's clean, safe.

Safe? Yeah, like Chernobyl.

Right, why don't we
turn the nukey thingy off?

There is no off switch.

In order to take it offline,
you'd have to remove

the thermocouples
from the ESP
power conduits.

The conduits are
in carbon steel encasements.

And even if we could
access them,

by shutting it down
without the proper tools

we could cause a release
of the plutonium dioxide.

And Chernobyl?

Right... Well, technically?
No. Lethal? Yeah.

I reckon we're
right under the bunker.

I didn't see a camera.

Yeah, well,
if you wait till
you can see them,

that means
they've seen you.

Beauty before beast.

And a beauty she is.

I'm sorry if I caused
you any trouble.

No, you're not.

No, I'm not,

but thank you for all
your bad behavior.

I should've taken
advantage of you while
I had the chance.

Well, if we get
out of here...

(RUMBLING)

(SHUSHING)

What's that?

Oh, my God.

It's coming from the floor.

Okay.

(TAPPING)

It's Morse code.

Jo and Taggart?

They're in the subsystem.

Okay, what do we tell them?

Tell them to sever
the outtake conduit.

Sever it?
To interrupt
the vacuum flow.

You do realize we'll die
before I Morse all that.

cr*ck pipe.

Two words I never thought
I'd hear from your mouth.

(TAPPING)

cr*ck pipe?

Oh, cr*ck pipe.

Okay, which pipe?

Pick one.

(ALL SIGHING)

(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

Oh, God,
what is that smell?

Air flow.

From the bowels
of the bunker.

I guess that's why
they call them the bowels.

(TAPPING)

We did it!
Good on you, mate!

(ALARM SOUNDING)
BRAD: Intruder alert!
Intruder alert!

Too late, BRAD.

Eliminate intruder!
Eliminate intruder!

No! Zoe!

Everybody, move.

ALLISON:
Carter, what are you doing?

HENRY: Jack! No!
You could k*ll yourself!

Zoe!

Carter, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.
Is she okay? Zoe?
I don't know.

SARAH? What's going on?

Is this some kind
of house arrest?

What is that?

It's a diesel
generator powering up.

It must be the original
back up system.

SARAH:
Back up systems engaged.

SARAH,
what's happened to Zoe?
Show me Zoe!

All right,

I know I should have
paid for it.

But I was in a hurry.

SARAH:
Disengage hostile activity.

Okay, she's all right.
I feel sick.

Is it the radiation?

I doubt it.
It didn't even
cr*ck the housing.

So, no Chernobyl?

Nope. You b*at the hell
out of the RTG

and your World Series bat.

I can live with that.

ZOE: Dad?

ALLISON:
No, don't close the door!
Zoe, don't...

What's going on?

Oh, so you're allowed
to have parties and I'm not.

Come here.
I almost lost you.

SARAH:
Eureka is still facing
imminent disaster.

You all need to stay here
and resolve your issues.

SARAH, what's going on?

I just want you
to be happy,
Sheriff Carter.

Do you?

This isn't a malfunction,
is it? Well, you're angry.

You're upset
about something.

Well, we've all aired
our dirty laundry,

time for you
to come clean.

I have done all the laundry
and folded it as well.

That's not what I...

But thank you.

Oh, wait.

You want me to be happy,

because I was
going to leave?

Just like Fargo left you,

and BRAD got
left before that.

And whatever the hell
it was before that.

It was a w*r game
simulation program.

SARAH:
Shall we play a game?

No!
ALL: No!

SARAH, is he right?

SARAH?

Listen, everyone is afraid
of being abandoned.

I mean, I'm afraid of what's
gonna happen to this town
when Henry leaves.

I mean,
maybe it'll be a disaster.
I don't know.

But I promise you,
for right now,

I am not going anywhere.

Me either, SARAH.

Or me.

I guess
I'm sticking around.

SARAH:
What about Baja, Sheriff?

You kidding?

You know what
the crime rate is there?

And don't even get me
started on soil erosion.

What's up?

I'm having
a skylight put in.

And a ladder.

Cool.

What about the pop-up
a*tillery outside?

I don't know.
What about the shoplifting?

I like chocolate bars,
free chocolate bars.

And really like being alive.

Thing of the past, I swear.

SARAH:
I was thinking, Sheriff,

if you both would like
to take another sick day,

we could spend some
quality time together.

Oh, look at the time.
I gotta get ready for school.

Gotta go to work.

Perhaps we could play
a board game,
or watch a movie.

Hello? Hello?