02x12 - The Bus Boy/The Justice Friends: Things That Go Bonk in the Night/Ol' McDexter

[bunniefuu]

Oh! Why, yes,
I do have a big
test today.

And, of course,
as every test-taker knows,

there's one thing
you cannot do without.

Why, it's no secret.

A pencil.

Anumber

why, this baby
has done me right
all year.

I would not be
caught dead in a test
without this!

Boy: Force field,
force field.

Force field,
force field.

Hello, Douglas.

I saved your usual seat
in the forward quadrant,
old buddy.

Thanks, old buddy.

So, mordecai,
are you fully prepared

for the trigonaculus
test today?

If by that you mean,
did I bringold lucky,
then maybe

this
your question.

[Dexter gasps]

Dexter: Beautiful!

Look at the size of it!

It must have seen
a hundred tests!

It's vintage .

Good year!

[Laughing]

Nice hat, geek.

Har har!
Sticks and stones--

look, Gwen.
Dexter has a purse.

It is a manly backpack.

And you can tell
by the official NASA patch.

Eh, I think I'll
keep it anyhow.

Go ahead. I have memorized
every paragraph of info
in those books

in prep for the trig test.

Hey, Becky.

Don'tyou
that test today,
too?

Why, yes,
I believe I do.

Well, then,

you'll need a...

Number pencil!

Return that instrument!

It belongs to me.

Oh, yeah? Then come
and get it, shrimp.

Gladly.

[Yelling]

Becky, catch.

Oops!

[Kids cheering]

Jump! Jump! Jump!

You go, Dexter!

You can get it!
Jump!

Careful of the instrument!

[Kids mumbling]

Kids: Oh, no!
The back of the bus!

Just let it go,
Dexter. Maybe you
can use a pen.

[Sighs defiantly]

Kids: No, don't do it!

Don't do it, Dexter.
It's not worth it.

It's too close
tothe darkness.

This is ridiculous.

I am not scared
of some old
superstition.

I am a man of science.
This is bogus.

Boy, German accent:
Oh, no,

it's true.

[Chomp]

I'll tell you
just what happened.

Little Billy blumberg
was just horsing about

and eating cookies. Mmm...

Then bus hit a bump,

and Billy spill
his hot cocoa.

Mmm...

[Screaming]

Driver panic

and almost hit
ice cream truck.

Mmm...

Angry driver send Billy

to back of bus.

And Billy, his screams

melt with sound
of hungry monster.

[Maniacal laughter]

Girl: Nuh-uh,
that's not what happened.

My mom knew Billy,

and I know
what really happened.

Girl, voice-over:
Little Billy
was a mean kid.

Once he saw a cute spider,

and he smushed it.

With the spider's
last breath,
he called for help.

Thousands of tiny spiders
came from nowhere

and wrapped him in a web

and dragged him off
to the back of the bus

to lay him before
the giant spider queen.

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Hey.

This fabrication is
totally unsubstantiated.

I'll fill you in
on the real incident.

There he was,
in the back of the bus,

minding his own business,

when an inter-dimensional
time lord opened a hole

in the space-time continuum.

Hi.

[Gurgling noises]

Little Billy held onto his seat
as long as he could,

but a bipolar tachyon vortex
sucked him into a time egg.

[Screaming]

Oh, please!

This is all superstition.

None of this is proven.

A simple scientific
investigation will solve this.

[Roaring from back of bus]

Gwen: What's the matter,
pipsqueak? You scared?

This is ridiculous.

I'm going in!

Dexter's log.

Various school supplies
seemed to be cocooned

in this strange,
sticky pink goo.

[Rumble]

Aah!

[Roaring]

[Roaring]

Aah!

Here. You dropped this.

Hey there, youngster.
Name's bill.

You are little
Billy blumberg?

Well, that's right,
little chap.

Of course, no one calls me
"little" no more.

Wha-what are you
doing back here?

Ho ho! Heck, that happened
way back when I was
about your age.

Oh, I just fell asleep

with my chewing gum
in my mouth. It fell out,
stuck my hair to the chair.

I struggled to get free,

and my shoe flew off,
and it broke the light.

Of course,
the more I struggled,
the more I got stuck.

And I've been here
for years.

Huh?

And how have you
been surviving
all these years?

Well, I guess I was
pretty lucky
that my shoe flew off

'cause then my toenails
could grow out,

and then when scraps of food
would roll to the back,

I could rake 'em in.

I'll tell you,

you kids eat
the worst junk.

Mmm. Chocolate.

So, did you come
to rescue me, big guy?

Uh, yeah. I suppose
I could cut you free.

With my laser pen.

Oh, yeah.

Feels good.

Oh, I don't know
how I could
ever repay you.

Kids,

I'd like you
to meet little Billy.

Hey, kiddos!

Ooh!
Ooh!
Ooh!

Dexter: And Billy,
I'd like you to meet
Becky and Gwen.

Hi.
Hi.

Billy: Pleased
to meet ya.

Dexter: They're
the two, bill.

Even?

Even.

Hey! No, wait!

I never got
my pencil back!

Pencil?

You know, you raked
it in right before
I found you.

Oh! Uh...That wasn't
a licorice stick?

Licorice! Mmm.

[Laughing]

The justice friends!

of earth's mightiest heroes!

Joining forces under one roof

to face the challenge
of everyday life!

Starring...

Major glory,

val halen,

and the infragible krunk

in...

Hey,
puppet pal clem.

I just heard
a funny joke.

Do you want
to hear it?

Lay it on me,
puppet pal Mitch.

Mitch: What do you get
when you cross a zebra
and a trench coat?

Clem: Hey,
I do not know.

What do you get
when you cross a zebra
and a trench coat?

A bonk on the head.

[Krunk laughing]

I don't get it.

Why, of course
you don't.

You've gone dumb
from being bonked
on the head too much.

Why, I'd be dumb, too,

if I was bonked
on the head
as much as--

[krunk laughing]

Major glory! Val halen!

Yes, krunk?

On the TV,
puppet pal Mitch,

he came up
to puppet pal clem,

and guess what
he did!

Oh, um, let me see...

Oh, I know. Did he, um...

Bonk him on the head?

Yes. It was funny.

I'll bet.

Look, krunk. You've
been sitting there,

watching that
TV puppet pals marathon
for the past days.

Aren't you even
in the least bit tired?

No.

Well, val halen and I
have had enough.

We're going out
to the roller rink.

Again?

But seriously, krunk.

Try and get some sleep, hmm?

Sleep, schmeep.

Schmeep?

Sheep!

[Baa]

One...

[Snoring]

Well, come on.

Huh?

The masters are waiting.
We're late as it is.

You did remember
your toothbrush,
didn't you?

Good. You won't
need it.

Well, come on.

Bonk, bonk, bonk.

Duh, come in.

Welcome, infragible krunk.

Welcome to
the puppet pal palace.

Krunk: Wow!

Krunk: Wait.

The puppet pal
palace, you mean?

Bonk on the head!

Oh, boy!

But how do krunk
get up there?

Mitch: Up where?

[Laughing]

But seriously,
krunk, welcome!

Uh, krunk can't believe
it really you.

In the fleece!

Say, krunk,
would you like
to hear a joke?

Would I!

Ok.

Hey,
puppet pal clem,

can you guess
what day it is?

Uh, is it
bonk day?

Yes, it is.

[Laughing]

You liked
that one,
did you?

[Laughing]

Ok, krunk. It wasn't
that funny.

[Deep laughter]

Krunk!

Relax!

Ok. But, hey.
Krunk want to be
a puppet pal, too.

Ok. Whatever!

Oh, boy!
Krunk love you guys!

Mitch: Oh, krunk.
This is stupid.

Krunk: It'll be funny.

Hey,
puppet pal clem.

Hey, puppet pal
Mitch.

Oh, look! Here comes
our new bestest friend,

puppet pal krunk.

Clem & Mitch:
Hey, puppet pal krunk.

Hey, puppet pal Mitch!

Hey, puppet pal clem!

Puppet pal clem,
do you mind

if I put this golf ball
on your head?

No. Go right ahead.

Ok. Now,
I have a question,
puppet pal clem.

What is plus ?

Duh, is it
bonk on the head?

No, it's...

Fore!

Oh, you see, krunk.
I told you this
was stupid.

Wait!

[Bonk]

[Laughing]

You think
that's funny?

What's wrong with you?

Can't you see how complicated
and contrived that joke was?

And another thing.
Why am I using a golf club?

I'm supposed to be using
my bonk stick.

Bonk stick equals comedy.
Golf club equals not comedy.

Being a puppet pal
is a serious bonkness.

What do you think,
I just hop out of
my bonk bed,

eat some bonkfast, and
then bonk clem on the
head all day? Well--

major glory: Hey!
Quit bonking our friend!

What?

Our justice friend!

Oh, no!
The justice puppets!

Let's bonk 'em!

Ok. Ok!

Ok! We give up.
You win.

Major glory!
Val halen!
Wait! Then who...

What's going on here?

Well, krunk, we thought
you were spending too
much time watching TV

and not enough time
being a superhero,

so we tried to turn you
against your so-called
funny friends.

But you didn't,
'cause we came,

we saw,
and we bonkered.

And you call
yourselves
superheroes.

You want a piece
of me, junior?

You're bonking
up the wrong
tree, buddy.

[Screaming]

You both driving krunk

bonkers!

Ah, it was all a dream.

[Zebra braying]

I wouldn't say that.

Aah!

Hey, puppet pal clem.

Yeah, puppet pal Mitch.

Mitch: That's the last time
we stay up watching

the -day
justice friends marathon.

Clem: Mm-hmm.
You said it.

Good night, puppet pal clem.

Good night,
puppet pal Mitch.

Puppet pal clem,
there's a spider in your bed!

Bonk!

Ah!

Time now
for a nice sit.

Hey! What do
I look like?
A chair?

No.

"I" looks like this.

Summer camp.

A grim time for every child,

when in the midst
of the gleeful summer months,

he is torn away
from his comfortable home,

and forced into savagery.

These poor souls
live in primitive hovels

and struggle to maintain
even human decency.

It is horror.

What are you
so happy about,
Dexter?

I thought
you hated camp.

I do.
But I am not going
to regular camp.

I am going
to a cool camp.

Dexter, you wouldn't
know cool if it was
tattooed on your retina.

First of all,

I am surprised
you even know what
a retina is.

Secondly, I'll bet
my camp turns out
cooler than yours.

It's a deal!

I don't know
how to tell you this,

but I'm going
to space camp.

Space? Been there,
done that.

I am going to a fully
operational modern
agricultural environment,

complete with a high-tech,
super cyber techno
highway gigabyte.

Oh, yeah. A farm
with a tractor.

They have more
than a tractor!

Ooh!

I think that's
my bus coming.

Cool,
huh, Dexter?

No.

[Horse trotting]

Kids' voices: Yeah! Farm camp!

[Horse trotting]

[Horse neighs]

You Dexter?

Yes.

No time
to chat, son.

Get in. Let's go.

I am waiting
for the bus to camp.

If you need directional
assistance, I will be
happy to help.

Son, don't play games.

Get in. We got
a long trip back.

You meanthis
the bus to camp?

Wouldn't you know it?

[Sighs]

Man: Wake up, little one.

We're here.

[Yawns]

Finally. I could use
a bit of, uh,

civilization?

Man: Come on,

let me introduce you
to the family.

My name's Jebediah.

This here's my very plain wife.

I just call her wife.

Down there's little Ezra

and his sister--
they're the children--

and our senior citizen,
good old grandma.

She don't move much,

but she makes one heck
of a scarecrow.

Grandma: Caw!

We strive for simplicity
here, Dexter.

We do without all
those modern conveniences
you take for granted.

Like neural net computers?

Like plumbing.

Just give our way
a chance, Dexter.

You'll grow
to like it in time.

We have.

Welcome to space camp.
We know you'll
enjoy it here.

Whee!

Dee Dee: This is fun!

Dexter: Day one,

I have seen the wasteland.

There is no technology here,
only brute force.

But I have a plan.

In a few days, I should
have everything I'll need
to show them the light.

So, Dexter,
how do you
like it here?

It's boring!
What do you
do for fun?

Fun? What is
this fun?

You know,
pleasurable
activity.

Oh, that!
We have that!

Come on!

There she is!

You can go first.

Come on, Dexter.
Churn!

It's, how do you say, fun!
Isn't that the best?

[Grumbling]

Dee Dee, this will test
your g-force tolerance.

Whatever!

Man: , , ...

Whoo!

Marvelous. She's
magnifique.
Exquisite.

Wife: Children,
supper time.

[Chewing noisily]

[Gulping]

[Burp]

Mmm! Now that's good eatin'.

Yes, sir. Finger lickin' good.

[Laughing nervously]

Excuse me.

I have gone days
without science.

I can feel my mind
slowly slipping away.

But I must hold on,

for the plan
is almost complete.

Jebediah: Oh, my candle's
b*rned out.

Hey, Jebediah!

Aah!

My eyes!

Look! I made
a potato-powered light,
just for you!

Evil! I'll be havin'
none of this!

You must be punished!

And it was evil,
I tell you.

It glowed
an evil glow.

He's a bad seed.

He needs
to be punished.

Wife: But how?

Well, first
we heat up
some tar...

Dexter, thinking:
Oh, Dexter,

what have you
gotten yourself into?

These people are going to,

gulp, hurt you.

And they're
in the middle of nowhere!

I can only hope
for a miracle.

Huh?

Hi, Dexter!

Dee Dee!

She came
from the sky.

It must be the...

The magical crop fairy!

Boy, am I glad
to see you!

These people
are crazy!

But they dress
so cool!

The magical crop fairy
has given us her blessing.

This calls for
a celebration.

I'll say. I mean, caw!

[Laughing]

Dee Dee: Dexter!
You win the bet!

Farm campis
way more fun!

Enter at
your own peril,

where impossible
things may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things
go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab