02x18 - Unfortunate Cookie/The Muffin King/

[bunniefuu]

[Crunch crunch]

Hi, Dexter.

Grr! Dee Dee,
stop eating over me.

Stupid Dee Dee.

[Crunch]

Go away!

Aw, don't be
so cranky.

Here. Have a cookie.

I do not want a cookie.

Aw, come on.

They're fortune cookies.

No.
Suit yourself.

Mmm. They're sure tasty.

Dee Dee, do you not know
there are fortunes
inside those cookies?

Really?

Yes, really.

Why don't you
see for yourself?

And stay out
of my laboratory!

Hmm.

Ah, hey,
that's not a cookie.

Hey, Dexter,
I found this thing
in my box of cookies.

How could it be?

The odds against
a genius like myself

and a stupid person
like yourself

existing in
the same bloodline
are astronomical.

Many a night,
I lay awake pondering how,

by Einstein's ghost,

I could
have been stuck

with a stupid sister
like you.

[Moaning]

Are you
even listening

to what
I am saying?

I cannot
take any more

of your stupid
foolishness.

I would
appreciate it

if you
would kindly never
speak to me again

for the remainder
of time.

Stupid Dee Dee.
Why can't she ever
leave me alone?

Dee Dee, please stop
following me.

I do not like you
anymore. Go away.

I can't, Dexter.
We're stuck together.

Yes. I know we are
stuck together.

What do you think
I have just been
talking about?

No, silly.
I mean we're really
stuck together.

Aah!

Whee!

Come on, break!

I cannot extricate
my finger.

Perhaps I deserve
this punishment for
being mean to you.

I am so sorry,
Dee Dee.

Hey! It's a fortune.

It says,
"to solve any problem,
start at the source."

Bah! That's not even
a real fortune.

It's actually more of
an advisory statement,
to be precise.

Hey! Put me down!

Hmm.

The source.

Hey!

All we have to do
is go there

and get them
to take it off.

Wow! I'm impressed.
That's brilliant.

But how are we going
to get to Chinatown?

That's easy.
We'll just dig through
the center of the earth

and come out
the other side.

Um, Dee Dee,
maybe we should
look at a map, hmm?

Ok. Let's go over
the directions
one more time.

[Straining]

Hey! Well, no wonder.

Go away, dog. Go away.

[Yelping]

Dee Dee,
why don't we take the bus?

Ah.

You're right, Dexter.
This is much better.

Ah, the spirits
are aware of our arrival.

They are?

There it is!

Look alive,
short one.

[Karate yells]

[Karate yells]

H'Yah!
Man, this stuff is great.

I'll take
the whole outfit.

Okey-dokey.
One ninja kit.

That will be...
$ .

Awesome! Wait till the guys
get a load of this, huh?

[Ahem]

Who's there?
Is that you,
grandfather?

Dexter: Down here.

Your voice changed.

Oh, children!

Get out!

Get out before
you break something.

But we've journeyed
all the way from
the suburbs to--

the suburbs? Oh, you are
suburbian children.

Wait right here.

[Man snickering]

You kids are going
to love this.

All children love
d.J. Quack-quack.

[Quack quack quack]

But--

I know. Looks pricey,
but for you kids,
special--$ .

But--

no? Then how about
this lucky bank, then?

Listen, mister,
I am not here

to purchase
overpriced
novelty items.

My sister and I

are stuck together

with one
of your finger
t*rture devices.

Hmm. Tight weave...
High-density fibers.

Yes. That's one of ours.
Best quality--number one.

How do we
get it off?

What do you mean,
get it off?

You two are going to be
stuck together forever.

Forever?

Come on,
Dexter, shake
a tail feather.

No!

Shh! Noisy children.

Ok. Ok.

Thereis

but first, you kids
got to do something
for me.

Ooh! Like a mystical quest?

Uh, sure.

With magic
and beautiful princesses...

Yes, yes,
whatever you say.

Yeah!

Ok. You must
complete tasks.

First I want you
to go to...

[No audio]

[Karate yell]

Excellent.

You have brought
what I asked for.

Uh-huh. So how does
the magic work?

Say what?

I must admit
I am also curious

as to how these
ordinary objects

form a solution
for our predicament.

They don't. They are
just some things

I was going to
pick up after work.

You mean there's no magic?

Sorry, no,
but thanks for doing
my errands anyway.

Dexter, no magic.

Listen, mister, magic
or no magic, we did
your stupid tasks.

Now, you take this thing
off right now!

Very well, then.
You earned it.

It's actually very simple.

If you try to pull it apart,
it holds tight,

but come together
like good brother and sisters,

and you are free.

My finger!

Oh, sweet finger.

Ah, there you go, kids.

Now, are you sure
I cannot interest you
in d.J. Quack-quack?

Well, that's over.

Hey, it's dinnertime.

How are we going
to make it home?

Hmm.

Where are those kids?

They'll be here, honey.

[Doorbell rings]

Humph! Honey,
why did you
order Chinese

when I had
a beautiful roast
in the oven?

But I didn't.

Dexter!

And where
is Dee Dee?

I think she's stuck
in the kung pao.

Well, I guess that
would make her

anunfortunate

oh,
Dexter!

Good one, son.

Dexter,
want to see
my new dance?

No.

It's called
the fanciful
unicorn.

Girl, I have seen
better steps on a ladder.

Oh, yeah?
Like you know any
dances, Dexter.

[Music playing]

Yes. It is called the robot.

Word.

[Mixing, chopping,
and pouring]

Ok. Two eggs.

One teaspoon of baking soda.

Perfect.

Let's see. Optimum mixing rate,
pi to the th.

Ah, puree.

Hi, honey.

Ooh, what's this...

And that?

Wow, look at this
thingie, at those
doohickies.

What's this button do?

Ah! Help! I'm going to die!
I'm being eaten alive!

What have I told you
about bothering me when
I'm in the kitchen?

Uh, let's see...
Uh, don't?

That's right.
So what do we do?

Um, leave?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, ok.

What are these things?

Out!

Hi, dad.
What's wrong?

It's your mother.
She's making those
darn muffins.

We thought you liked
mom's muffins.

Like? Like?

Kids, I love
her muffins more
than life itself.

Those muffins
are the reason I
married your mother.

Well, they're in
the oven right now.

They'll be ready by dinner.

I need them now!

[Sniff sniff
sniff]

Oh, I can
smell them now,

rising...baking...

They're calling me.
"Eat us! Eat us!"

Can't you hear
their voices?

They want me
to eat them!

Dad, dad, it's ok.
Just calm down.

Everything's
going to be all right.

You're right.
I'll just sit here

waiting and waiting
and waiting...

And waiting.

At last!
My muffins are completed!

I'll just let them cool
for a while.

Hey, mom, what is
wrong with dad?

Oh, he's just
having another one
of his muffin fits.

Looks like this one
could be serious.

Your father just
needs to learn
a little Patience.

Mmm. Muffins.

Now, Dee Dee, those muffins
have to wait till dinner.

Dinner? Uh-oh. In all
my muffin preparation,
I forgot the roast.

Kids, I got to run
to the store. It will
just take a minute.

Oh, kids, there's something
I need to warn you about.

Your father is a muffin fiend,
a muffomaniac.

Why, just the aroma
can make him crazy.

He'll do anything
to get them.

You two need to guard
the muffins from your father,

but be careful.

He's tricky.

We won't
let you down, mom.

I know you won't.

I'll just leave
through the back door.

[Footsteps]

[Car door opens]

[Car starts]

Don't you go near
those muffins!

[Whistling]

Gee, I hope we're able
to handle this kind
of responsibility.

Don't worry your
stupid little head.

I am sure we
can handle anything
dad can cook up.

But, Dexter,
remember what mom said?
He's a tricky one.

We will just have
to keep an eye out
for anything suspicious.

Woman's voice:
Hi, kids.
I'm back!

Thanks for watching
the muffins for me.

Why are you
back so soon?

Wait a minute.
Where are the groceries?

Well, I thought it
would be easier if
we all went out to eat.

How does
chubby cheese's sound?

Chubby cheese's!

Let's all run out
to the car.

[Deep voice]
Muffin time.

Oh, yes. Hello,
little friends.

Guess what. I'm
going to eat you.
Yes, I am.

First I'm going
to bite you.

Then I'm going
to chew your
delicious morsels.

I can't wait
to taste

the chubby cheese
pizza.

Yay. Hooray for mom.

Mom is the greatest.

She is looking a little
stubbly lately, though.

And then I'll carry you
in my stomach for a few days--

all right!
The jig is up!

Just wait till the guys
at the office see these.

No. No. That's it. You win.
I'll go and be good.

Go to your room.

And stay out
of the kitchen!

I can't believe I've
been sent to my room,

and by my own children.

They can't do this to me.
I'm their father.

I'm king
of this castle. Hmm.

I'm going to go
check on dad.

He may be up
to something.

Father, whispering:
Psst! Dexter.

Son, could you come here
for a moment?

I'd like to have
a word with you.

And just what
do you want?

Dexter,
I am your father.

That is
not possible!

Oh, wait, no.
You're right.

So join me.

Come to
the muffin side.

Don't resist, Dexter.
It is your destiny.

Never!

You will get
the muffins for me.

I will get
the muffins for you,

will get
the muffins
for you.

Yes. Yes! Yes!

Dee Dee:
Dexter, no!

It's a mind trick!
Snap out of it!

Huh? Where am I?

Give me those!
Dad, go to your room,

and not another peep
until mom gets home.

You might have
won the battle, but
the w*r's not over yet!

Those rotten kids.
I can't wait

till they're all grown up
and out of the house.

Then I'll be king again.

[Sobbing]

I'm so miserable.

If only there was
a place a man could go...

And eat muffins
for all eternity.

Huh?

Sweet dreams.

[Humming]

So beautiful.

[Chewing]

Delicious!

♪ The muffin king
has finally come ♪

♪ la la la la la la

those muffins are mine.

Freeze, or you're
both grounded!

Huh? Decoys?

You'll never
take me alive!

Hold your
position.
Roger that.

Incoming!
Scatter!

All mine!

No! No!

Holy Toledo!

Oh!

Hold it right there,
mister.

Those muffins were
made by my wife with
tender loving care

especially for her family,
and I demand them back...

Now!

Now, scram.

Here, kids, make sure
these are kept safe
till dinner.

Mother: My hero.

I saw the whole thing.

You saved my muffins.

Well, I guess I did.

Have a reward.

Oh, can I?

Mmm. Mmm-hmm.
Oh, good. Mm-hmm.

Ha ha ha.
Come on, kids.

You can help me
bring in the groceries.

[Clicks tongue]

Here's my end
of the deal.

Past the vaulted door

where impossible things
may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's
laboratory ♪

♪ lives
the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee

♪ blows his experiments

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab