03x02 - Don't Answer The Door

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Cuphead Show!" Aired: February 18, 2022 –; present.*
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Following the misadventures of loveable Cuphead and his cautious but easily-swayed brother Mugman as they scour the Inkwell Isles in search of fun and adventure.
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03x02 - Don't Answer The Door

Post by bunniefuu »

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe miles ♪

♪ Where there's good and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ And a dash of heebie-jeebies ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[menacing music plays]

[upbeat jazz plays]

-[electricity crackles]
-[Elder Kettle screams]

[upbeat jazz continues]

[both laughing]

Hooking up the car battery
to Elder Kettle's steering wheel

was your best idea yet!

I do love a good prank.

[both laugh]

-It looks like you got me again, boys.
-[electricity crackles]

I'd be upset if it wasn't keeping you
from fighting each other all day.

Oh!

If you're not fighting,
that means I can get my mustache waxed.

See you at dinner, boys.

He bought it.
He really thinks we ain't fightin'.

-Nice work!
-Ow!

-Thanks.
-Ow!

But we're not fightin'.

-Oh, right!
-Ow!

-Nice punch!
-Ah!

-Thank you!
-Ow!

-You're welcome!
-Ah!

[both grunting, exclaiming]

-[blows landing]
-[lively jazz plays]

[knocking on door]

-I got it!
-No, I'll get it!

-[grunts]
-Whoa!

[grunting]

[laughs]

-[Cuphead yelps]
-[scoffs]

Hello.

[breathlessly spluttering]

-Who is it?
-[continues breathlessly spluttering]

Get out of the way.

All I see's a ba…

[Cuphead gasps] It can't be.

It's…

[both] Baby Bottle!

-[Mugman] Why is it back?
-What does it want?

[Mugman] What are we gonna do?

Don't you remember
what happened last time?

[menacing music plays]

Mama.

[music intensifies]

[both whimpering]

[Cuphead] Wait! I got an idea.

It can't hurt us if we don't let it in.

We just won't answer the door.

I guess that does make sense.

See? Problem solved.

[whimsical music plays]

King me.

[snickers]

Hmm…

Mmm…

Eh?

Eh, no.

Eh?

Eh, no.

Eh?

Eh, no.

Eh?

Eh, no.

Eh?

Eh, no.

[menacing music plays]

-[whimsical music resumes]
-Eh?

Eh, no.

Eh?

-[Mugman whimpering]
-Eh, no.

[menacing music plays]

[Cuphead] Eh?

-Eh, no.
-[whimpers]

-Hmm…
-[whimsical music resumes]

[holds breath]

-[menacing music plays]
-[baby coos]

[stifling shout]

[shouts] Would you just go already?!

I win.

-[screams]
-[clattering]

[scratching at door]

[screams]

It's scratching at the door.
It's trying to get in!

It can't hurt us
if we don't answer the door, remember?

-But--
-Ah, bu-bu-bu…

-But--
-Ignore it.

-But--
-There's nothing to worry about.

Look. I'll show you.

Wait, Cuphead, no!

See? I'm not answering the door,
and I'm perfectly safe.

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

[animal growls]

[screams]

[groans]

-[Cuphead] Did you hear that?
-Baby Bottle sounds bigger and scarier!

-How did it get bigger and scarier?
-[Cuphead] How should I know?

Everything is always trying
to steal our souls

or transform into monsters to eat us
or sh**t b*ll*ts out of its fingertips!

-[Mugman] Never seen fingertip b*ll*ts.
-[laughs] Oh, it's happening somewhere!

Believe you me!

[Mugman] Shh.

I don't hear anything.

[sniffs]

Oh… [chuckles]

It's just a bear.

Oh. [chuckles]

Just a bear. [chuckles]

[both] A bear?!

[low growl]

[both] It's got Baby Bottle!

Well, I guess that solves that problem.

Cuphead! Baby Bottle's a monster,
but we can't let it get eaten by a bear.

[sighs]

And people say I'm the obnoxious one.

[suspenseful music plays]

Huh? Huh?

[whimpering]

[whimpers] Ooh.

Oh!

[Cuphead] Baby Bottle!

Baby Bottle!

Baby Bottle!

Baby Bottle!

[owl hooting]

I hate to say it,
but I think we should split up.

Good idea. Things always
go better when we split up.

-Baby Bottle!
-Baby Bottle!

Little Baby Bottle!

[wolf howls]

[screams]

Oh. [chuckles]

[whimpers]

-[snap]
-[screams] Bear!

[shivering]

-[snap]
-[gasps, yelps]

Baby Bottle?

[buzzing]

[grunts, screams]

Aw!

It's just a little bumblebee.

[Mugman] Hey, little fella.

[screams]

[thud]

Hmm…

Ow! [yelps]

-Hey, what are you doin' down there?
-Would you be more careful?

You be more careful!

-Why, you!
-[growls]

[gasps] Mugsy, look!

[dramatic sting]

[both] Baby Bottle!

[dramatic sting]

He's gone.

Cu-Cu-Cu-Cuphead, look.

[gasps]

[Cuphead] There's a trail
of milk leadin' to that bush!

[both whimpering]

[both continue whimpering]

-[leaves rustling]
-[both yelp]

[low growl]

[roars]

[both scream]

[upbeat jazz plays]

[hums tune, chuckles]

Lookin' good, Kettle.

You old rascal, you.

-[door opens]
-[boys fearfully yammering]

-What is it, boys? What's wrong?
-We were in the woods!

-We tried to save it!
-Milk was everywhere!

[boys yell] The bear ate Baby Bottle!

[gasps]

[chuckles]

[laughing]

[continues laughing]

Boys, that wasn't Baby Bottle.

[boys] Huh?!

It was a regular bottle
of milk wrapped in a blanket.

I put it in a baby basket as payback
for hooking me up to the car battery.

[laughs]

And you fell for it.

[laughing]

[knocking on door]

It's Baby Bottle!

[Elder Kettle and Cuphead scream]

[both whimpering]

Don't be ridiculous.

You just explained
that Baby Bottle was never really here.

Oh. Right.

Then who's at the door?

Oh! [chuckles]

It's just the bear again.

[Elder Kettle and Cuphead] Oh!

[all shout] The bear?!

[all screaming]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

Look, I feel bad for stealing
your basket and drinking your milk.

But, guys, I'm a bear.

Don't leave your milk sittin' out.

-Fair enough.
-Yeah, that's a thing.

Don't leave milk out.

Nothing I can do
about the milk at this point,

but, uh, I thought I'd return your basket.

Well, uh, thank you, Mr. Bear.

[knocking on door]

[all scream]

[all shout] It's Baby Bottle!

Wait. Who's Baby Bottle?

Uh, why don't you open the door
and find out?

All right.

[lullaby plays]

Ooh! Another basket
with another delicious bottle of milk.

-[Baby Bottle] Mama?
-[bear gasps] Aw.

-What a cute--
-[Baby Bottle yowls]

-[blows landing]
-[bear exclaiming]

Help me!

-[Baby Bottle screeches]
-[blows landing]

[bear exclaiming]

Well, it looks like
we "bear-ly" got out of that one.

[all laughing]

[closing theme music plays]
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