04x02 - Sis-Tem Error/Bad Cable Manners/Dexter's Library

[bunniefuu]

[Dee Dee giggling]

Ooh.

[Power shutdown]

Ooh.

Open,open.

Come on, open, open, open.

Open, open, open.

Bah! Cannot believe
I cannot...

Stupid outdated
bookshelf entrance.

Mental note:

Upgrade secret
bookshelf entrance

to secret media nuke entrance.

Cannot believe I cannot get

in to my own stupid...

Ahem!

Computer, why is the laboratory
not illuminated?

[Imitating computer]
Lights on, Dexter.

Computer's running
a little sticky today.

Computer, what is
on the schedule
for me today?

Um, ahem.

Be nice to Dee Dee.

No matter what
irreversible damage

she's done to
your laboratory.

[Laughing hysterically]

I cannot believe...

Oh, my god!
Can't believe...
Oh, my god!

Whew!

Computer, you are
in rare form today.

Now seriously,
computer,

what am I doing
today?

[Imitating computer sounds]

You have the week off.
Ahem.

Today is, um, a holiday.

It's--uh--

hmm--scientist
appreciation week.

Scientist
appreciation week?

Computer, why did
you not tell
me sooner?

I'll be back
next Tuesday.

If something
important comes up,

you can reach me
at the summer home.

Bon voyage,
Dexter.

Don't forget
to lock up.

Don't worry,
Dexter.

Your bio-nuclear
gene splicer is
safe with me.

Wait a minute!

Silly me!

I cannot take
a vacation

while I'm on the brink

of inventing my latest,
greatest invention

of all time!

Thank you for
reminding me, computer.

Attention robot:

Engage gene splicer
test sequence.

Hello! Robot!

Robot!

I have not
got all day!

[Dee Dee imitates robot sounds]

Robot, power up
nuclear fueling
capacitors.

Uh...powering cooling
thingama boopers.

Configure gene
splicer coordinates.

Combobulating gene..
Uh..Splicer thingy.

Position test
subject.

Initiate the launch
sequence.

, boop; , beep;

, , ,

uh, ...

, , , , .

Ka-powee!

[Squeaking]

Huh? Ka-powee!

What do you mean,
Ka-powee.

Everybody knows
bio-nuclear gene
splicers goes Ka-keen!

Someone has been
messing around

with my
laboratory.

[Gasping]

What is this?

[Squeaking]

Now where did
this come from?

Hmm.

You know whoI

was messing with

my invention?

That is right, Dexter.

It is I, Dee Dee.
Uh...I mean, mandark.

Ha ha ha!

[Coughing]

Mandark, I should
have known it was you.

And I almost thought
it was my stupid
sister, Dee Dee.

Aha!
That is right.

I planted her
stuffed animal

so that you would
think that it was
her, Dee Dee,

not I, mandark,
that sabotaged
your laboratory

by not accidentally
pulling the system
shutdown switch.

Ha ha ha!

You pulled the system
shutdown switch?

[Gasping]
And not by accident?

I will destroy you
for this, mandark!

Wait a minute.

If my system
is shut down,

how come I can
still see you on
the monitor, mandark?

Because your
laboratory is on
emergency power?

That is right,
mandark.

Because my
laboratory is on
emergency power.

I knew that.

I will destroy you,
mandark.

Prepare to feel the power
of my laser canons.

Ka-pow!

[Dee Dee coughing violently]

[Wheezing and coughing]

Help me!
I'm melting!

Until we meet
again, mandark.

And now to
override the system
shutdown switch.

Now where did that
power-up button go?

Oh! That's right.

Wow, not only did I invent

the greatest invention

of all time, today,

but I defeated the evil
mandark yet again.

Ha ha ha!
All in a day's work.

Whew!

Wee!

Ooh!

Ok, dad!

Just look at them.
A sea of satellite dishes.

Fools all!

Suckered into paying for
something you can do yourself.

Ha ha!

Unaware that it's
not the equipment,

but who's equipping it.

Let's see now.

Ok, Dex? How about now?

It's no good!

Hmm. Tinfoil.

How's that?

Nope.

Now?

Nope!

[Gives shrill cry]
Grr...Ah!

No!

[Falling sound]

Dexter: Oh yeah!
There, that's perfect.

We lost it.

Hey, I think it's clearing up.

Who am I kidding?
I failed.

Relax dad, it is just TV.

I just don't know how much
longer I can...

[Crying]

[Snoring]

[Door opens and closes]

[Beeping]

Huh? It works! I did it!

Ok, let's see what we got.

...

TV: Cubic zirconia
Princess ring.

...

TV: Real diamond that
can only cut glass.

...

TV: It shines like
the dickens!

...

TV: Get one
for your friends,

or your boss,
or your friend's boss.

...

TV: That's how versatile
this thing is.

Hey!

Ah! That's better.

I am the channel master!

So much to choose from!

[Car honks]
Huh?

More junk mail.
Important.

[Reading letter]
Dear Dexter's dad, we are well
aware of your current situation.

Piracy...piracy?

What do pirates have to
do with selling cable?

And as in violation
of blah-blah, yaggedy,
yaggedy-shmaggedy...

Sorry guys, no sale.
I've already got it.

[Static]

That's odd.

I guess I have to
have a look-see.

[Groaning]

Hey, dad.

Dad! What are you
doing up there?

Slight mechanical
difficulties,

but don't worry,

I am the channel
mast...Oh, aw.

You are going
to end up in
a body cast.

Why don't you
let me help you?

Awesome.

Everything
looks normal.

Perhaps I should
upgrade the larger
receptors.

I'll just run you
through the important stuff.

Yes, dad.
I am listening.

You've got to
use the rake

to gain its trust,

then surprise the bugger
by going nuts!

Uh, Dex?

Yes, yes,
going nuts.

It won't
be long now.

Ok, dad, I think
that did it!

No, no! Now this is
the important one.

With your eyes closed,

run full speed
into the antenna,

and when you fall,
I'll catch you.

Don't let me down now,
we're too close.

Do it for your dad!

Ok, here goes nothing.

Here I come!

Huh?

I am back!

[Telephone rings]

Answering machine: Mr. Dexter's
dad, we are well aware of
your current situation.

Piratation of our satellite
broadcast is a felony.

This is your last warning.
Legal action will be taken.

Working the phones too, huh?

Don't hold your breath, guys,

I'm not buying anything.

Huh?

Dexter!

[Dexter moaning]

Son, we've
got problems.

Look!

How could
this happen?

I just--i mean
we just fixed it!

This has gone
on long enough.

I will fix
this thing once
and for all.

Er, don't forget
the rake, son.

That should do it.

Yes!

[Reacting to different TV shows]

Hey, hey.

Ha ha!
Just me and my
favorite channels.

[Sirens]

[Snaps]

Mr. Dexter's dad, we are well
aware of your current
situation.

Blah, blah, blah, blah...

You guys again.
Can't you take a hint?

I don't need
your stupid satellite.

I have my own ways.

Yes, this seems
to be the problem.

Oh, I see how it works.

Either I "play ball" your way
or I don't "play ball" at all.

Well, I won't be bullied

so you'll just have to
take me the hard way.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ok, boys, move him out.

Wait! It was me.

It was I, Dexter, boy genius,
using my superior intellect,

I was able to take control
of your satellite.

My dad is an idiot...Innocent.

I am the one
who should be punished.

Psst! Play dead.

Huh, nice try kid.
I'm a boy genius.

Man: Ok. Let's see.

Mr. Dexter's dad.

Ah yes, he's been
free to go for weeks.

Dexter's dad: Ha ha!

Whoo-hoo!

Heh heh!

Whoa.

No whammy!

Huh?

Look at that sunset.

If only I'd known,

I would have gotten
myself arrested years ago.

[Bell ringing]

Ah, the sweet and silent
solitude of the school
library.

Oh yeah, we're so
prepared for this.

This is going to
be a great game,

we're going
to kicky Booty.

Our new cheers
are so awesome.

Wait until
you see them,

you're just not
gonna believe it!

Ahem!

No book for you,

and no book for you!

No, uh-uh.
You know the rules.

No food or drink
in the library.

No book for you!

Mis-using
school property,

you know better
than that.

No book for you!

Ah, here we are.
. .

[Gasp]
Hello! What is this!

Green bacon and eggs!

What is a childrens' book

doing in
coelacanth paleobiology?

Miss salinger
miss salinger.

Yes, what is it,
Dexter?

I have found an...

Inappropriately
placed...

Piece of fiction.

Really?
Well, be a dear

and place it in
its proper home.

Ahh.

Library patrons speaking
at unacceptable volumes,
eating snacks,

abusing school property,
and now this.

It is all very disappointing.

You know, I like
miss salinger and all,

but if this were my library,

such behavior within
these hallowed shelves

would not be tolerated.

Oh, my, look at
the time.

Dexter,
I have to be at
a staff meeting.

I need you to keep
an eye on things
for one hour.

Ahh!

[Tapping finger]

[Ah-choo]

Finally, a school library

dedicated to
the pure appreciation

of the English language.

Dexter, you have done it again.

Next!

[Buzzer sounds]

Sarah goldfarm.

Another early
return, I see.

Ha ha ha!

Stranger Rick:
August .

A solid
subject matter,

but a little
sophomoric
for second grade.

Would you not agree?

Robot, please
retrieve

some less
frivolous reading

for miss goldfarm?

Perhaps something
from coelacanth
paleobiology,

a personal favorite
subject of mine.

Cannot confirm
target.

Cannot confirm
target?

You illiterate
Android!

Must I spell
everything out

for you recycled
soup cans?

Ahh!

[Dexter whistling]

Heh heh!

System error.
Cannot confirm
target.

Arr!

Why must I do
everything myself?

[Grumbling]

...stupid-looking robots.

There, coelacanth
paleobiology.
Now, how difficult was that?

Green bacon and eggs?

But I do not like
green bacon and eggs!

There is not a walnut brain ape
among you who is worthy to share

my world-class collection
of written history.

Dexter, I am very
disappointed in you.

I leave you in
charge of
the library

for one hour,
and look what
you do.

Just look at
this mess.

But--but--
I...they...

I'm giving you
the maximum
library penalty.

[Gasping]

No! Not that!

Please,
miss salinger. No!

That's right.

You can only check out
books a week,
instead of .

Boo hoo hoo.
Don't do this to me.

It's not very
nice of you.

No!

Shh!

Announcer:
Enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things

may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest
boy you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom
while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab