03x05 - Will Work for Ed/ Ed, Ed and Away

[bunniefuu]

[Whistling]

Blblbl... Yeah!

[Cash register rings]

[Coins dropping in register]

This stinks!

Ed: oh!

Ahh!

A jawbreaker sale,
and we're flat broke.

Wiped out!

In the red!

Ouch!

[Bell rings]

[Gasps]

Oh, uh, hiya, kev.

Holy cow!

Is that nazz
skydiving in a bikini?!

No way! Where?

Yeah, right. [Zipper]

I'm on to you, dork.

Boy, I guess I just need
glasses or something.

He didn't even
know what hit him.

What a chump. What a...

Oops. Pardon my reach.

[Kevin laughing]

Ah! May I borrow your rump?

Yes, thank you.

Hiya, rolfy boy.

Got any loose change?

Not in this life, ed boy.

[Rolf laughing]

I found eddy, ed.

Why is eddy wearing
a diaper, double "d"?

Well, ed, a diaper would be
worthy of eddy's character,

But this posterior
posting is a job placement.

Seems rolf's looking
for a hired hand.

Rolf lost his hand?

Boy, that is sad, double "d."

No, ed. Rolf needs to
hire someone with pay.

Pay?

Maybe if rolf were a glove,

No one would notice.

Money?

[Crash]

Reporting for duty and
ready for work, rolf.

So, uh, what kind of
income we talking about?

Poppycock! Rolf requires one

With a backbone of a yak.

This is no job for a
jellyfish like yourself.

Yeah, right.

I don't work, but does.

Polly want a cr*cker?

Arf! Arf! Arf!

Tweet tweet tweet!

You're new employee, rolf.

So, what's the job pay?

Rolf must interview
this job seeker.

Arf! Arf!

[Neigh]

Uh-huh.

Hmm.

What?

You and seeds, very good, yes?

You may work for rolf,

Lacking-a-lower-jaw ed boy.

Congratulations, ed.

Rolf: have him report
to rolf in one hour.

[Laughing]

Oh.

[Edd and eddy laughing]

[Ed joins in]

Jawbreaker sale, here we come.

Nothing like a warm bowl of
organically harvested oatmeal

To start your workday, ed.

[Laughing greedily]

Think of it: responsibility.

That's a sign of
growing up, you know...

A key to enter our
social structure,

A tip of the hat.

No, a flag wave to
the world proclaiming:

"Look at me, citizens,
"my name is ed...

Working man."

I like that.

Why, if it wasn't for
the working class,

We'd still be living in caves.

Now, I've taken the
liberty to pack you a lunch,

But no more than
an hour, understand?

Punctuality shows the
employer you're a real go-getter.

Be courteous and tackle each
task to the best of your ability.

Watch your posture

And use soap when
you wash your hands.

Hey, and find out how
much you're making, will you?

Bye, dear.

He's on his own now, eddy,

Ready to carve his niche
in this dog-eat-dog world

We call home.

[Whistling]

[Car engine starting]

Ed, no. You're too young.

[Whistling]

Ding dong.

[Goats bleat]

Ding dong.

[Baa]

Ding dong.

I brought my lunch, boss.

You are here to fill the
position of nincompoop.

Yes? No?

That's me.

Then why do you not use
the nincompoop entrance?

Okey-dokey.

Greetings, nincompoop.

Welcome to rolf's.

[Various animal sounds]

Hmm.

No need for this... Or this.

Oh, and this must go.

Say bye-bye to this.

And let us add a little color.

[Pig squeals]

This safety apparatus shall
be deducted from your pay.

[Monkey chatters]

Deducted?

Yes! Deducted!

Are you going to
cry, nincompoop?

[Cow moos]

No way. They're cool.

Good. Follow rolf.

[Grunting]

Heh heh heh.

[Beep beep]

What a cheapskate!

He ain't deductin' nothing.

Eddy, let ed learn
from his mistakes.

Forget it.

Rolf's trying to rip me off.

I want my money.

Behold the potato!

Bow to this fruit of the earth.

Then peel it as if it were

The last task of
your mission for life!

Nincompoop! Must
I hold your hand?

Nope.

Went before we got here, boss.

The proper tool must be used

To peel the honorable
spud, nincompoop.

A rental fee shall be
deducted from your pay.

What?!

Oh, dear.

Oh!

Uh... Uh...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Uh! Uh!

Today, nincompoop! Today!

[Cow moos]

Not bad, huh, boss?

Nincompoop, the
waste from this peel

Could feed an entire
village for a week.

Pay deduction.

Eddy: what?!

[Goat bleats]

[Cow moos]

Peel every potato,
nincompoop, before rolf returns,

Or you're fired!

I'm on it, boss.

Ed, get paid yet?

Eddy, we're
interrupting ed's work.

Hiya, kids.

Say, you guys catch
that show last night

About the world's
biggest toenails guy?

Now, that's the life, huh?

Hey, lumpy, you got enough
potatoes there to feed a...

Village? Got that right.

Peel every one
before boss gets back

Or I get fired.

[Laughing]

Fired?!

Double "d," we have to help ed

Finish peeling those potatoes

Before that sl*ve
driver shows up.

Well, I'd hate to see ed's
resume blemished by a dismissal.

Voila!

Neat, trim, and ready
for the compost heap.

That's real pretty, double "d,"

But we only got
zillion more to peel.

Fruit of the earth!

Come on.

What's with this thing?

[Mocking] a hairpin?

Yup. Seen better heads
on a potato, double "d."

Oh, really?

The time of reckoning has come,

Nin... Com... Poop?

Just more, boss.

Do you like it, rolf?

I think it's crackerjack,

If I do say so myself.

Have you stripped
the thread of a screw?

No visitors! Pay
deduction for you.

Hey, will you quit doing that?

Check out what
a great job we did.

Julienned and ready to fry.

This cannot be! The
spud has been shamed.

Ed: yo, boss!

Am I a nincompoop or what?

I deduct this from your pay.

You can't do that!

Rolf is boss.

Rolf makes the rules.

Nincompoop, present yourself.

Ed, stop!

You stay right here.

Nincompoop, obey rolf.

Who are you going
to listen to, ed?

He will listen to rolf
or no pay for nincompoop.

Ed: tell me a story, boss.

[Goat bleats]

Eddy: rolf's a jerk!

Ain't gonna work!

Rolf's a jerk!

Ain't gonna work!

Rolf's a jerk...
We hate broccoli!

Ain't gonna work!

This is so embarrassing.

I'm gonna ask rolf what's up.

Eddy: hey!

You can't cross the picket line.

Says who?

Nazz: kevin! Nazz?

According to the
worker's rights act,

Subsection e, paraphrase ,

Eddy's entitled to express
formal protest as to wherefore

Must be totally respected.

Baby-sitters got
to know this stuff.

Dorks.

Really, eddy.

Labor disputes like
yours and rolf's

Require a mediator,
a referee, if you will.

Go blow your
whistle, mr. Referee.

I got a nuisance to
make out of myself.

He's so stubborn.

Oh, hello, rolf.

Rolf's a jerk! Ain't...

Rolf's letting him in.

[Rolf, ed, and edd
talking all at once]

[Voices squeaky and distorted]

Edd: as I was saying...

Did you catch my drift?

You see, my point?

I see, sure.

Ok, ok.

Rolf agrees.

This agreement is
very agreeable, yes?

No hard feelings,
eh, nincompoop?

And one for you,
head-in-socket boy.

Why, thank you,
rolf, but I can't.

I mean, I'd feel much
better if I had earned it.

The more merrier.

Hey, stretch, forget me?

[Sigh]

You want, yes?

I'd do anything for it, rolf.

Tell rolf the progress of
the laborers, turkey eyes.

Well, yup, let's see here, boss.

This guy, I got
no problems with.

Double "d" waiting for
orders, turkey eyes, sir.

But then there's
the sad sack, boss.

A real slowpoke.

Trouble with a capital "r."

Help!

I hate chickens!

Both: hey, nincompoop!

Hmm?

You've learned
well, turkey eyes.

Eddy: stop the chicken, ed.

Ed: nincompoop!

I'm deducting your pay

Because you're a nincompoop.

Pretty good, huh, double "d"?

[Laughing]

What a pathetic set of wheels.

[Screech]

They'd look pretty good

Shoved up your nose.

No need to be displeased.

We've got all your needs

At krazy ed'z custom hot bikes.

Yeah, yeah. I know
what you're saying.

"How can I afford a custom
hot bike, krazy eddy?"

That's me... Krazy eddy.

But wait till you
see this beaut.

Show him the big
daddy cruiser, krazy ed.

That's him... Krazy ed.

[Laughing]

Ta-dum!

Kevin: awesome!

Check out these rad spokes.

Yup, and at no extra cost.

Psst! Eddy, don't
you... Hey, do you mind?

We got a customer here.

These tires are choice.

You've got an eye
for quality, my friend.

Why don't you take
her for a spin, kev,

While krazy double "d"... That's
this guy, krazy double "d"...

Gets the boring paperwork ready?

Get it? Ha ha ha!

No.

Kevin: out of my way!

Kevin plus sucker
equals cash for eddy.

This is so cool!

Awesome!

He can't do that, eddy.

You said he wouldn't do that.

You said build a bike
that looked good.

That's it. That's all.

Looking good is what
it's all about, double "d."

You just lie about
the other stuff.

[Sputtering]

[Screeching]

Come again.

[Crash]

Hey, kev, what'd I tell you?

Is hot or what?

Kevin: I'll get you, dork!

After I find some ointment.

Ouch!

What's with him? I did
everything my dad does.

How come he sells stuff?

Maybe it's the tie.

Well, it certainly couldn't be
that we manufactured the bike

From hand-me-down kitchenware.

Hours of hard work!

And for what?!

To fleece the masses.

Check's in the mail, edd.

It's the same thing
day in and day out.

It's so monotonous.

A pipe dream, at best.

You are not alone, my friend.

I dream of pipes, too.

[Sarcastically] boy,
ed, who'd have thought?

Look! A balloon!

Aww! Someone must have
accidentally set it free.

It is an alien pulled
from outer space.

It's headed for that tree.

Oh, man, it's gonna pop.

Come on, branches,
do your stuff.

Pop it. Pop it.

That's it.

Aww! Stupid tree.

There is something symbolic
about an abandoned balloon:

Boundless, devoid of direction,

Nudged by a gentle
breeze into the unknown.

Let's capture it!

And pop it.

You mind your ps and qs, now.

[All laughing]

Hello.

Hey, it's a dead end.

Drats! We'll have to go around.

[Ed laughing]

Let's get a slingshot.

[Ed laughing]

[Edd and eddy panting]

Oh, I'm exhausted.

My genetic makeup has
thrown in the towel.

I'm filthy with sweat.

Bath... I need a bath.

Why, thank you, ed.

It's getting away!

[Laughing]

Atta boy, ed.

Come here, you little...

Don't you hurt it, eddy.

What? All I'm
gonna do is pop it.

[Laughing sinisterly]

Ed: uh-oh!

[All yelling]

[Eddy panting]

[Humming]

[Moo?]

[Moo]

Stop the balloon!

Onward, brave latex composite.

Chicken!

Pig.

Cow.

Mama! A bandage for rolf.

Eddy: hurry up!
It's getting away!

Edd: excuse me, rolf.

Ed: what did you do, double "d"?

Never again will rolf

Store house keys in
his trouser pockets.

Where'd it go?

I lost it.

You guys see it?

What's it look like, eddy?

Shut up, ed.

[Edd panting]

[Sarcastically] boy, double
"d," you're such a jock.

Ahh!

[Panting]

[Laughing]

Stupid balloon.

I found it.

Come on, baby. Come on.

[Chuckling crazily]

Look at it probe.

I got it, ed.

Ooh.

I got it. I got it.

[Eddy laughing]

Oh, no, you don't.

Gotcha! Ha ha ha!

Oops!

[Screaming]

Ooga booga booga!

Wait! Don't go.

We have so much in common.

What are you doing?!

Look at it float, double "d."

Heavens, ed!

What's that devouring your leg?!

It's a bag!

Get it off! Get it off!

[Snarling]

Eddy: good one, sock head.

Putting the balloon...
Let's go, boys.

Don't you dare, eddy.

Release me, mutant bag! Help me!

[Chuckling]

I got nuts in
one shell, plank.

Good day, sir.

Ooh, a violation.

Please fasten
your seat belt, sir,

Or I'll have to throw
you off the plane.

Welcome aboard,
sir, on jimmy's airlines.

Passengers, just in case,

The emergency exits
are located by my dolly

And the other one
by jimmy's bunny.

After all, we might explode

Into a zillion tiny pieces.

Wouldn't that be something?

Ha ha ha!

Anyways, for that
drop back to earth,

Please place our neato oxygen
mask firmly over your face.

Show them, jimmy.

Come on! It's getting away!

[Panting]

Mine! No, mine. It's mine, ed.

Nope. It's yours, eddy.

That's what I said. It's mine.

Forget it, it's yours.

You idiot, just grab it.

Get it! Get it!

Everyone, stay
calm. Don't panic.

Ahh! Get off my plane!

Or I'm telling mom about
your dresser drawer.

But, sarah, we just
want the balloon.

Get lost!

Um, excuse me, sarah.

Would you have a
more current issue?

Hey, you're trespassing.

This is my backyard,
and if you don't leave...

Ed: forward!

Eddy: oh, you're so soft.

[Edd panting]

Hurry, guys!

Go, baby, go!

[Crash]

My house!

[Beep]

[Beep beep beep]

Plank needs more nuts.

[Toilette flushes]

[Eddy and edd panting]

Man, look how high it is.

We'd have to sprout wings

To retrieve it from that height.

Fly, double "d," fly.

[Crash]

Hey, guys, what's up?

Fly, nazz, fly.

She didn't even
make a grab for it.

Your turn, eddy.

Get away from me, ed.

Why, I ought to...
[Engine starts]

Balloon, mister.

This better not
mess up my hair, ed.

Hello, balloon.

Come to papa.

What the?

Why you little...

Remind me to ask you
how you did that, ed.

Come here, you sack of hot air.

[Grunting]

Pardon me, sir. We
have your lunch.

That's lunch?

What do you mean
you special ordered?

[Grumbling]

Ha! I'm too smart
for you, balloon.

[Laughing]

Hey, guys, check it out.

Mayday! Mayday!

Here's lunch, mr. Bunny.

Sarah: eddy, you idiot!

I've had it with you guys
interrupting our flight!

Aww, come on, sarah.

Look at the pretty balloon.

A blessing in disguise,
don't you think?

Come on, jimmy, let's play.

Oh, goody, revenge.

How'd she do that?

Get back here with my balloon!

Looks like we get to
fly the plane, huh, plank?

Pop it, jimmy,
before they show up.

My tushie's too small, sarah.

[Eddy growling]

[Edd panting]

Come on, jimmy, squeeze harder.

I'm trying. Get off my back.

[Both grunting]

Let go of that
balloon. It's mine!

Let's bite it, jimmy.

[Both grunting]

It's only a matter of time

Before our lone
wanderer's pliability

Becomes an issue, eddy.

You go, girl.

Eddy: I want to pop it.

Farewell, brave
nomad. I knew ye well.

Give me it, sarah.

Gimme, gimme never gets.

Jimmy: you leave sarah alone.

Eddy: give me it!

Sarah: no!

Ow! Ow!

[Grunting]

Give me it, you spoiled brat.

Bingo!

[Chuckling]

Serves you right.

[Both laughing]

Argh!

There! Are you happy now, eddy?

No... I wanted to pop it.

Argh!

Float, little friend, float.

Chin up, fellas, now
let's just remember

The joy it brought to us,

How much closer we are
as friends from knowing it.

No need to be displeased.

I've got all your
needs at krazy kev.

Oops!

There goes another one.

[Laughing]

Oh, look, a balloon.

I see it! I see it!

And it's all ours!

Quick! Get it! Pop it! Pop it!