04x05 - They Call Him Mr. Ed/ For the Ed, by the Ed

[bunniefuu]

Edd: I have a
surprise for you, ed.

Fee, fye, fo, fuff, I
smell chunky puff!

Very good, ed.

And if you can solve your way
through my maze of inevitable despair...

Uh! Catchy, isn't it?

You'll win a grand prize... Huh!

A full box of chunky puffs,

Part of a complete breakfast.

I can do that, double-d!

That's the spirit, ed!

Now, remember,

Solve the maze in the
shortest amount of time

And claim chunky puffs.

Go!

Ha ha ha! Wait for me! Ha ha ha!

[Laughing]

I win! I win!

Chunky puffs!

Excuse me, ed...

Not that you'd understand
the geometry involved

In such an endeavor,

But that isn't how
you go through a maze!

Hang on, double-d,
I'll think of something.

[Animal howls]

[Sighs]

Hey, ladies, quit
fooling around,

'Cause I came up
with the hippest,

Nowest, most primo plan yet!

Are you ready for this?

'Cause today we're
going nowhere but up!

And?

And nothing. Up!

I seem to be floating in a
sea of doubt here, eddy.

The dictionary lists several
definitions for the word...

Oh, I know! Up!

Not yet, ed.

Come on! Ha ha ha!

Just follow my lead... Up!

Ed, put me down.

Uh-uh-uh!

That's up, double-d.

Of course. What was I thinking?

[Crash, ed laughs]

[Ring]

Talk to me.

[Whistles]

Trade it! Buy it! Sell it!

Up! Up! Up! Up!

Up! Up!

Put some muscle into it, ed.

You got it, chief!

And up! Up!

Keep that up, ed.

Eddy, I'm coming!

I'm ok!

Hmm... Hey, sockhead!

Lumpy here can't stay up.

Well, what a coincidence.

In the spirit of upness,

I've constructed this elevator

That I'm sure would
be of some help.

Sweet!

I'll probably hate myself
in the morning saying this,

But... Going up?

Nowhere but!

Pardon me, miss.

[Ding, buzzer]

I like what you with, double-d.

One could say things eddy.

Ha ha ha!

[Ding]

Look at me, guys!

Am I up?

[Crash]

Uh!

Ed: I'm ok.

I've taken the liberty of
compiling a few statistics

A graph onto this
progress chart.

As you can plainly see,

The index is currently
advancing in an upward direction.

Say what?

We go up, eddy.

You're a cut-up, double-d.

Hi-ya, guys.

Whatcha doin'?

Ding-dong! Ding-dong!

Hey, hey, hey!

Double-d, does the never-ending
forehead have an appointment?

Here I am!

Johnny by to see eddy?

I'll have a look, shall i?

I'm sorry, johnny,

You don't seem
to be penciled in.

Perhaps later, yes?

If you say so.

Fat chance!

[Groans]

[Ding]

Ha ha ha!

[Horse neighs]

This way.

[Burp]

Ok!

[Ding]

Patience, johnny.

Here at edco, opportunities
come up in a blink of an eye.

Stay in touch.

Gee, plank,
double-d's got a card!

What's going on, johnny?

Beats me, but it's way cool!

[Telephones ringing]

No problemo. Gotta go. Edco!

What part of "up"
don't you understand?

You're fired.

[Woman babbling on phone]

I'll call you right back, mom.

What's up, double-d?

Hi, eddy. [Giggles]

Can I join, uh, this...

Whatever you're doing?

Is this like a quiz
or something?

You got spunk.

Welcome to edco!

Edco? Cool!

Door updated.

Office walls upgraded.

And reception uplifting.

Quite an upturn, if I
do say so. [Ed laughs]

Nice upshot!

Hey, nazz, get me mr. D.

Ow. Mr. D, I think mr. Eddy
is looking for you.

Thank you.

Looking for me, sir?

Park it.

Ha ha ha!

Forgot about the wall.

Eddy: listen up.

We need an up-and-comer, mr. D,

A go-getter to
push this plot along.

Look no further, mr. Eddy.

I'm up and ready
to... Get me jimmy.

Jimmy?

Uppercut.

Miss nazz, page jimmy
for me, would you?

Sorry, mr. D,

But I'm up to my
neck with filing.

[Sighs]

Of course you are.

Jimmy! You're up, jimmy!

That's me, johnny! Me!

I'm coming! I'm coming! Weee!

It's all up from here, jimmy.

We're next.

Well, you certainly have
the edco attitude, johnny.

I think the mail room
is right up your alley.

Wow!

Ha ha ha! I'm
liking this, mr. D!

Up.

For it?

I'm your boy!

Make me proud.

Espresso, mr. Eddy?

I understand this is the beverage
of choice for the upwardly mobile.

To upness.

Well, that was an
upturn for the worse.

Up-chucked.

All right, all right.
Get back to work.

[Groans]

Upsy-daisy!

[Ed laughing]

Mm.

Mm-mm.

Uh-huh!

Uplifting. Cool, jimmy.

You really spruced
up this place.

Motif is the key to an organic
work environment, miss nazz.

Mail call!

Thanks, johnny.

What is this?

Johnny: plank
photocopied his butt!

Ha ha ha!

Life is good, yes, victor?

As rolf, the son of a shepherd,

Now protects his own flock of
putrid, simple-minded creatures.

Kevin: what's with the
car get-up, rolf?

Afraid somebody
might steal your box?

Rolf is keeper of security!

State your business!

I was just... Nazz: later, guys.

Whoa! There's nazz.

Yo, nazz!

Hey, what gives?

Have you permission to enter?

Permission?

I just want to say hi to nazz.

Spindle shanks nazz girl?

Mmm. Ok.

But hold your tongue
and say nothing of this, yes?

Whatever.

Oh, cauliflower!

Progress report, mr. D.

Well, mr. Eddy, morale
is up, efficiency is up,

Employee productivity is...

Not good, not good,
not good, not good...

Kevin is walking
down the driveway.

Talk to me, nazz.

How about you and me go
down to the lane and, uh...

What's up, kevin?

Up? What's it to ya?

I was just getting
down with nazz.

No down here, kevin.

Why, it's only
up, up, up at edco.

Edco?

Sounds like a downer to me.

Weee! Up and away with you,
as rolf must uphold the law!

You're going down, dude.

May you break out in lather

And wash the turnip
from your nose!

Why you... [Grunting, crashing]

What's this uproar about?

Get up, rolf!

What do I pay you for, anyway?

Pay?

No, eddy!

Hey, what about our pay?

Oops. That's mr. D's department.

Chat 'em up, sockhead.

Well, let's see...

Edco is a non-profit
organization?

See, i... No profit!

Down for the count, dorks.

My artistic vision... Sullied!

I'm so down-hearted!

Downright lame, if you ask me.

Down-trodden rabbit
radishes! Come, victor!

Hey, guys! Did everybody
get to see plank's butt?

Ha ha ha! Hee!-Hee!

I'm afraid it's downhill
from here, eddy.

Nowhere but up, double-d!

[Whistling]

Ed! What are you up to?

Uh, is that a quiz or something?

Quick! The elevator!

Up! Nowhere but, remember?

Oh, goodie!

[Dinging]

What are you waiting for?

Ed, what have you been up to?

Is this up or what?

Help!

Don't just stand
there! Do something!

Ed! Why, we're... Up!

Super up!

You did it, lumpy!

Is this what you
did all day, ed?

I was making up, double-d.

This is as up as
you can get, ed!

Thank you very much.

Edd: oh, dear.

Eddy: change of plan,
boys. I want to go down!

[All screaming]

Johnny: ha ha! ♪
D-d-doo-loo-doo-doo

[Makes airplane noises]

♪ Up-buh-da-da-da [babbling]

♪ Up-up-bah-dah hee-hee! Ha ha!

Jimmy: leave me
alone, you bullies!

No! You're stretching my top!

Hey, may! Got that bug?

You bet! Let's make him eat it!

[All chanting, "eat it"]

Johnny: ♪ duh-da-da-dum!

What the heck is that?

Aah!

Get it out, marie! Get it out!

Marie: all right! Hold still.

Let me see!

[Yelps]

Hurry it up!

Quit being such a cry baby!

May, get over here!

It's stuck!

May: let me try!

Is it out? Is it out?

Jimmy: oh, no!

Somebody do something!

It's gonna touch me!

Woo-hoo!

Superplank saves the day!

Ha ha ha!

My hero!

He pulverized them!

What are we waiting for?

Let's go tell everybody!

[Jimmy and johnny cheering]

So all we've got to do is
empty all these bottles

And cash them in for a refund.

Check ed out!

He knows the drill.

[Burp]

Good one, ed!

[Burping]

You've got to be kidding.

Aw, come on, double-d!

He can't. He's too chicken!

Do a big one! Chicken!

Come on! You can
do it! [Clucking]

Just like a chicken.

Small things amuse
small minds, I suppose.

[Softly] urp.

Urp.

There, there, little man.

There's plenty to be ashamed of.

Johnny and jimmy:
plank is our hero!

Plank is the king
of the cul-de-sac.

You got that right!

Plank's our hero!
Plank's the king!

Fare thee well, king plank!

King? Plank!

If anyone is king
around here, it's me.

Plank makes for a good ruler.

Get back here!

I'm the king, and you know it.

I demand a vote!

Kings have to be
elected, you know.

I'm sorry, eddy, but
that's incorrect.

Kings are born into nobility

Through an eclectic
lineage spanning generations.

I want an election!

You do?

Why, just the thought
of implementing

A democratic system within the
confines of suburban living is...

[Burp]

An angel just got
its wings, double-d.

Check plank out!

He's the king of the cul-de-sac!

Oh, sarah, it was so divine.

In just one day, plank saved me

From evil witches
and a creepy crawly.

That's awesome, jimmy.

Hooray for the king!

A wooden board saved you from
evil witches and a creepy crawly?

Mama! The fairy tale that
hans wrote has come true!

Edd: hear ye! Hear ye!

Your attention, please.

An election has been declared.

A great opportunity
is at hand, people.

A candidate has come forth

To seek the office of
king of the cul-de-sac.

I enter this to you
for your consideration:

Candidate eddy!

Keep it down, folks.

There's plenty of
me to go around.

Puh-thetic.

Yes, indeedy.

[Crash]

Ed: free buttons!

Vote for eddy! Wear
'em while they're hot!

Quit it, you idiot!

Let me help you
with that, sarah.

I'd be very thankful if
you showed your support.

Vote for me, you big
bald-headed badger.

Candidate eddy,

Voters need to see compassion,

Leadership, and sincerity.

Dude, do you have
a platform or what?

Uh, platform?

What's with that?

I took the liberty of
writing a speech, sir.

Eddy: aide!

Upsy-daisy, your sinus!

"If elected as king
of the cul-de-sac,

Infraction will be
a thing of the gas."

Inflation will be a
thing of the past, eddy.

Eddy: huh? Inflation, eddy.

Kevin: snoresville!

This is so lame.

You're right. Let's
cut to the chase.

If you vote for me
instead of that stick,

You'll get jawbreakers
for free... For life! Heh!

Well, that was a hoot.

Fat head!

Kevin: man, he's so
desperate, I swear.

I'm the king. You'll see.

There's got to be a
way of taking plank out.

I got it! Let's dig up some
dirt on that clapboard.

A political scandal?

Your rash attempt at disgracing

The moral sensibilities
of an innocent,

Good-natured cut of timber
have fallen on deaf ears, mister.

Count me out.

What? I was just kidding.

That would be so wrong.

Ed: whoa!

[Groans]

[Ding, knocking]

Who's there?

Come on, let's see.
What did you get?

Boy, did I get some dirt, eddy.

Ha ha ha!

This is dirt!

What am I supposed
to do with this?

It's dirt!

What's this? Can I see, eddy?

Photographic proof.
Plank's a goner.

[Whistle]

I would hide this,
too, if I had done that.

Ha ha ha!

[Humming]

[Kids talking at once]

What is that?

I smell chocolate chips.

I love cookies.

Johnny: cookies,
cookies, cookies!

In celebration of election day,

I've baked homemade cookies

For those of you about to vote.

Why does rolf smell the odor
of nano's decaying toenails?

[Groans]

Stop the presses!

Looks like your king has got
something to hide from you guys.

Check out this photo.

Choice!

I'll never look at a hunk
of wood the same way.

My hero is a flake!

Your hero is a zero!

Ha ha ha!

Is it not just a piece of wood?

How the heck did
you get that picture?

I'll never tell.

Aide...

Give it back! That's
plank's property!

Please, ed!

Okie-dokie!

So plank made a mistake.

We all got skeletons
in our closet.

What's he got to do to
prove he's a good joe?

Ask not what he could do
for the cul-de-sac, baldy.

Ask what I'm gonna do to
him once I win this election.

Candidate eddy!

The public has a right to
know the truth, double-d,

'Cause the truth makes
them vote for the right guy.

Got that right,
abe. Where do I vote?

Huh?

What the... Right
this way, mister!

Don't forget your cookie.

You'll find a napkin
by the ballot, kevin.

Ed: got another one, double-d!

Ed, please.

The voting booth
is a private refuge

Where choice can be
made free from persuasion.

One voter per... Ahem...
Shovelful, thank you.

I guess I'm next.

And don't forget...
Vote for king eddy!

Eddy, you're
pressuring the voters.

Don't you have a
pal to vote for?

Whoa!

My turn!

Ed, you be careful in there.

Don't forget to vote
for your pal there, lumpy,

'Cause he's the man,

Right there, johnny boy?

[Giggles]

[Applause]

[Chattering]

Now, then, has everyone voted?

[Laughing]

Luckily, I anticipated
your shenanigans

And swapped the official
ballot box for a mock-up.

Only one vote per
person, thank you.

People of the cul-de-sac,

I call this election to a close

And will tally your votes

For whom you have freely chosen

As our king of the cul-de-sac.

Our first vote goes to... Eddy.

Bingo!

Next, we have one for plank.

Right on!

Edd: ooh, and another for plank.

Huh?

And one for... Rolf?

Thank you. Yes, well...

And here's another
one for... Plank.

Yes, and plank again.

Another vote for plank.

And last but not least, um...

We seem to have
a spoiled ballot.

Cookies don't count, I'm afraid.

It's unanimous! Majority rules!

I hereby name plank
king of the cul-de-sac!

[Cheering]

Yeah, way to lose, eddy!

All: yay, way to go! Plank's
king of the cul-de-sac!

I want a recount!

But, eddy, you
only got one vote.

Ed, who did you vote for?

The cookie, eddy!

One, huh?

Hey, wait a minute!

Uh, friends as we are,

I had to vote for plank, eddy.

Nothing personal.

You understand, don't you?

Double-crosser!

No, please, eddy!

It's part of the
democratic process!

Dog pile!

Well, ed seems to be
celebrating his independence.

I hope he gets a concussion.

Ed, edd, n eddy!

Bbbbllll, yeah!