05x02 - Mission Ed-Possible/ Every Which Way but Ed

[bunniefuu]

Bl-bl-bl-bl yeah!

[Bell rings] right on!

"B's" and "c's" for me!

All that extra tutoring you
gave me really paid off, buddy.

Hey, jonny,
check this out.

An "a" in cheerleading?

You sure must have brains!

Choice!

I upped my fine arts
mark to a c-minus.

Dad's gonna be stoked.

Present-day hooey!

Rolf will need a new
tuckus after papa sees this.

Dude, a "d" in typing?

Rough.

All night,
chin-faced kevin!

Of what use is this infernal
button box to the son of a

Shepherd? Rolf asks you!

Uh... Yo, nazz,
how did you do?

Oh, what did you get?

How come they get
their report cards while some.

Back-stabbing jerk is
hand-delivering ours straight

To our parents?

Life can be so cruel!

I mean, what low-down,
miserable, two-timing,

Double-crossing slimeball
would do something like that?

Well, look at the
bright side, gentlemen.

This could be a great
opportunity for the two of you

To sit with your parents and
find a corrective curriculum to

Overcome your
academic shortcomings.

Yes, indeedy.

[Laughing]
smooth move, dork!

Ha ha ha!

For me?

You shouldn't have, double d.

Pick paper up, pick paper up!

No, no, no, ed.

Please.

Let me do that.

Double d!

Your report cards look
the same as mine and eddy's!

Let me see those!

So you're the
back-stabbing jerk!

Who, me?

Um, how could you say that?

Never, um...

Perhaps I should hang on
to those for safekeeping.

In your dreams!

May I might?

I bet I'm doing real good, guys.

Ooh, ooh!

Listen to this!

"Ed has difficulty with his
ability to concentrate for even

The smallest period."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

The teacher's
got you pegged, ed.

Deplorable grades
do not a joke make, eddy.

Who's got deplorable
grades, smart guy?

Not us, not anymore!

Ha ha ha!

Time to get to work, ed.

[Whistle] a little
hand-me-down from my

Brother.

The good old report
card-changing kit.

Ha ha ha!

Here, get cracking.

Already cracked, eddy.

The usual
"a's" and "b's."

Throw in a c-minus just in case.

I don't want my folks
to get suspicious.

Lookie, a "c", I see.

That is where
you be, eddy mcgee.

Huh?

We're busted, ed.

Not good, eddy.

Uh, principal, sir.

I surrender!

Hey, what's
the big idea?

Uh, I've been entrusted with
a very important task, eddy, and.

Neither rain nor sleet nor
snow nor you nor ed shall stop me

From completing this duty.

I'm sure your parents will
be very understanding and...

I'm going to have
to live with my aunt!

She has a mustache, double d!

Give me
those report cards!

Her cat makes me sneeze
and she never butters my toast!

The cards, now!

She smells like cabbage
and she makes me use toothpicks!

Gimme 'em!

[Panting] [bell rings]

Math class!

Yes!

Sanctuary!

Math class!

Yes, we got him.

[Panting]

[Writing on chalkboard]

[Ticking] [oven bell rings]

Uh, pardon me, sir.

May I be excused
to the restroom?

Thank you.

Sucker-punch.

Now, if I can just get to
the outside before the final bell!

Race you home, buddy!

Meatloaf monday, girls!

Last one home
files mom's bunions.

No bunions for me.

I'm on a diet.

Weasel
boy's still inside, ed.

As soon as he comes out,
let him have it, and I'll grab the.

Report cards.

[Gulp] ed boy!

Rolf asks a favor of you.

Have mercy, ed boy, and hold
rolf's rucksack so that rolf can

Carry this cursed thing
home for further torment!

[Door rattling] rolf?

Got him, eddy!

Good for me!

You idiot!

Does rolf look like double d?

Hmm.

Maybe with a hat?

Hey, rolfie.

You seen double d?

Double d ed boy?

Um, I am an innocent
son of a shepherd.

I know nothing.

Good-bye.

[Grunt] it's the rat!

Get him, ed!

Run, ed boy!

Run like the wind!

Sweet.

Cruise or lose?

Hey, cruise or lose.

That rhymes.

Please forgive me,
but this is an emergency!

Hey, get back
here with my bike!

Beep, beep!

[Panting] throw
me something, mister.

Ok, here you go, party-goers.

Welcome to jimmy and
sarah's after-school carnival!

Tea and cake for everybody!

Pardon me, excuse me!

Slow-moving vehicles
to the right, please.

Rabble-rouser, sarah!

What?!

Give us
those report cards!

That-a-way, ed!

Which way, eddy?

Sarah, ed!

Grrr!

Sarah no
good for ed, eddy!

Go, lumpy, go!

Any last words
before I pound you?

Beep, beep!

End of the
road, mr. Do-gooder.

Hand over those report cards.

[Grunting] how'd he do that?

He's too
smart for us, eddy!

We will never catch him!

Don't count your
biscuits before they hatch, lumpy.

Sockhead may be smart, but
he's weak, and he'll never deliver

Those report cards alive!

Ha ha ha!

I'm alive, eddy!

I'm alive!

[Panting] dudley
do-the-right-thing.

Doesn't have a chance, ed.

It's brawn over
brains, I tell ya.

Aha!

You're trapped!

There's no escaping
now, smart guy.

Hand over those report cards.

He's getting away.

Dig a hole, dig a hole,
dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole,

Dig a... You
should have dug deeper!

[Panting] ouch.

Just like our
report cards, you failed.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, dear, I
hope you're decent.

Pardon me, excuse me.

Get back
here, you wiry little...

Hey, what's with you?

Looks like dessert
showed up just in time, girls.

Shortcake?

My fave!

And a tall milk shake!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Tired, so tired.

I can't go on.

Oh, so close.

I must, I will, I shall.

I commend your efforts,
gentlemen, but as always, the

Sanctum of education
champions the day!

Who's the
smart guy now, huh?

What the... Where'd
the report cards go?

[Trumpet playing]
congratulations, ranger rolf,

On your task well completed.

It is an honor I present to you
the report card delivery badge!

Thank you, yes.

Very good, thank you, thank you.

Rolf is pleased!

Our report cards?

Honestly, I just feel
sick about all this, but when the.

Principal asked me to take
on this responsibility, I had no

Other recourse than to accept
and risk your being upset for

Your own good.

Dad?

Wait, um, the grades
are in greek this year.

I did good.

I swear!

Uh-oh.

No auntie for ed!

Mommy!

No auntie for ed!

Oh, dear,
oh, dear, oh, dear.

I suppose some lessons just
have to be learned the hard way.

Ain't that the truth?

Ha ha ha!

Zappity zap zap.

That's static
electricity, ed.

Did you know that this treasure
trove of accessible energy lies

Right beneath our feet?

No.

Like between my toes, double d?

Not quite, ed.

Here, you try.

Hmm.

You see, by shuffling
along the carpet, you absorb eager.

Electrons rapidly
looking for a direct escape.

Ha ha ha!

Now, ed, there's
no need to overdo it.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ed, that's
quite enough.

Ed, please stop!

Like this, double d?

Ha ha ha!

Zappity zap zap.

Tag... You're it.

Check it out, boys.

Ta-da! Oh, oh!

It's a... A...
Jawbreaker?!

Where on earth did
you get that from?

I scammed it off jonny.

What a pigeon!

Yum.

Spicy.

Ptoo!

Do tell, eddy.

How did you do it?

Easy.

I was walking home from school
after my detention, of course,

When I spotted baldy coming
out of the candy store.

Teachers.

For crying out loud!

[Chuckling] hey, eddy.

[Yawn] what?

Whatever.

Did you catch that guy, buddy?

Eddy tried to b*at it
with our jawbreaker.

What a weasel face.

You said it, pal.

Better keep
a sharp eye out.

[Humming] boy, you
sure are acting weird,

Plank.

Who, me?

Nope.

It's that
chip again, isn't it?

You just haven't been the same
since rolf's place, remember?

You were looking for kicks,
and you wanted to be an engine

Piston.

Are you sure you
want to do this, plank?

What's that?

Ok!

What's that?!

Holy cow!

More gas?!

You sure got guts, buddy!

Behold the toil
of days and nights.

Rolf can sense your
jealousy of rolf's giant squash.

Cry, cry if you must, for rolf
would cry, too, with the sight

Of this venus of
the gourd family.

Hang on, buddy!

You may
kiss it if you like.

I'll save you!

Jonny the wood boy!

Unhand rolf's tractor!

Buddy!

Give him back, you bully!

Ha ha ha!

Look what
you did to plank!

He's got brain damage!

The wood has a brain?

Boy, rolf, you remind
me of me when I was chubby.

Say what?

When were you... Oh, yeah.

I remember.

This one's called
the guitar solo!

Ding-a-ding-dang!

Ding-a-long-ding-dong!

Cool!

My hair!

Schyeah!

My turn!

You go, girl.

Whoo-hoo!

This one's called
cookie dough chimichanga dip!

[Screaming] dude,
like, that was so much

Fun!

Righteous.

[Laughing] look
at this paper napkin,

Jimmy.

Such tomfoolery brings rolf
back to rolf's lazy good-for-nothing

Youth.

Rolf remembers, yes?

[Humming] wooly bully.

How'd the
heck we get here?

This isn't what I
was remembering.

[Rolf humming]
I'm confused, eddy.

You originally were
flashing back to something you

Remembered.

What was it?

I can't remember now.

First, jonny stole my flashback,
then nazz, and now rolf.

Oh, oh!

I know.

We were standing next to a...

Hole in the wall
right after a big boom.

Remember?

Huh?

This ain't the hole.

Yep.

You were standing here,
and me and double d was here.

See?

Zappity zap zap, double d.

Unfortunately, I don't
think this is what eddy had in mind.

That's it!

From now on, nobody's
doing any remembering but me!

Those idiots know
nothing about cream orange, jimmy.

Cream orange
is scrumptious, sarah.

Eddy!

Ed's flashed us back to the day
your scam ruined jimmy's teeth!

It's a
bowling pin, sarah!

They tricked me!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, no.

I just remembered the pain
sarah will now inflict on us.

Ed!

Grrr!

Eddy, quick!
Remember something.

Anything!

I can't!

I'm too scared!

Um, yes.

Remember that time sarah
followed us to school?

Grrr!
Oh, yeah!

I remember.

Yeah, you lunkhead!

When we
locked her in a locker?

Showed her.

But, eddy...

She had boxing class that day!

And she
inflicted more pain on us!

Run away!

Weren't we just here?

I think ed just flashed
us backwards or something.

You bet your
sweet bippy I did.

Hey, what'd I tell you?

Only I'm supposed
to remember stuff.

Run away!

The sucking bowling ball!

Hey,
lumpy's got it right.

He's rewinding us
back to the start!

Yes, well, just
mind your speed, ed.

Speed, ed?

That's me!

Ed!

Where'd we go, eddy?

How should I know?

You're the idiot that...

Hey, what happened to me?

This has definitely gone
in the wrong direction, eddy.

Ed's flashed us back to
the day I first met you two.

Check it out!

It's my bottomless ed scam.

How'd it go again?

Be amazed, kid.

Watch bottomless ed
eat this humongous tv set.

For you, only a quarter.

Ha ha ha.

Very funny, eddy.

Come on, cough up!

You gotta!

It's part of the flashback.

I've already fallen
for this once, thank you.

Now, let's get to the task at
hand and remember where this

Ridiculous journey began.

Ed and I were at my house, and I
was demonstrating the marvels of

Static electricity.

[Ding dong] when
sockhead comes to, he.

Won't remember a thing, and
he'll pay up just like the day

We met.

Ha ha ha!

But, eddy, how will we get back
to where once from we were?

Who cares?

We're getting cash, buddy boy!

Look sharp!

Salutations, gentlemen.

My family and I have
just moved in, thank you.

Hey, ed, get a load
of the new kid on the block.

Where?

Oh.

Welcome, friend.

My name's ed.

And I'm eddy.

Pleased to meet you.

My name is edd, also,
but with two "d's."

Gee, ain't
that a coinky-dink?

We all have the same name.

[Laughing]
humorous, indeed.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Be amazed, kid.

Watch bottomless ed
eat this humongous tv set.

For you, only a quarter.

I'll give you two, for it
would be impossible for the.

Human esophagus to
manage such a feat.

In your hat, bucko.

Yum!

What the... Ed!

Good lord!

I'm going to be ill!

Remember
something, stupid!

Remember!

Ed, edd, n' eddy!

Bl-bl-bl-bl yeah!