05x06 - Who's Minding the Ed?/ Pick an Ed

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Ed, Edd n Eddy". Aired: January 4, 1999 – November 8, 2009.*
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Series tells the story of three best friends, who band together to tackle life's challenges.
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05x06 - Who's Minding the Ed?/ Pick an Ed

Post by bunniefuu »

Bbbbbb-yeah.

[Laughing] [sighs]

Wow!

Are you guys buzz
boys or something?

Jonny, quick!

Oh, look!

Kevin's being att*cked
by a rabid rake!

Holy mackerel, plank!

Kevin's in trouble.

Watch out for those geese!

Oh!

Ah, take this!

Unbelievable.

[Laughing] geronimo!

[Laughing] [laughing]

I'm on to you, dorks.

Try that again
and I'll pound you.

Oh, for goodness...

My apologies once again, kevin.

Aah!

We'll save you, kev.

[Laughing] are
we quite pleased with.

Ourselves, gentlemen?

I'm sure kevin's patience with
this random foliage foley is

Wearing thin.

Kev's a phoebe.

Let's hit him again, lug nut!

Hit him again!

Hit him again!

Ha ha ha!

I forgot what I said!

Ha ha ha ha!

Listen to
rolf carefully.

A brick shy of a
full load, that boy.

That's me.

You must glance
the bovine hoofs at pm.

Not , .

Willa will provide the refuse.

Victor must purge, and watch
the chickens as they do not like

To be separated except for
bridget who prefers solitude.

I can do that, rolf,
for I am the best job I can be.

I can check on hog...

Oh, must go now
or nana will give rolf a.

Foot-b*ating like no other!

Break like
the wind, rolfy!

What's with
rolf's von-stupid clothes?

Rolf's got to go to a
family reunion, and i, ed, am.

Responsible for his
many furry friends.

[Laughing]
you're kidding, right?

[Gasps] [playing flute]

[Mooing] [clucking, bleating]

Ok, sock head.

This is the part where you have
some big-word smart-guy way for

Us to get out of
these stupid situations.

Go for it.

Not this time, eddy.

Ed's given rolf his word, and
as as his friends, we have an

Obligation to support his
disconnected decision and do our

Part.

Don't worry, jimmy.

Just keep it dry, and whatever
you do, don't scratch it.

[Shattering] I'll call you back.

Ed!

You better get these animals
out of this house, mister, or I'm

Telling mom!

Oh, animals here all
cramp in my rump, sister 'o mine.

No, stupid head!

Sarah does
have a point, ed.

But double d!

They are so cute and cuddly.

My favorite shirt sh*t!

Throw him out, edd.

Who needs him?

Inky dinky, stinky you.

Aah!

[Siren] ed, hush.

For goodness sake,
sarah's going to hear you.

It's a -sausage
fire, double d.

Everybody hop
aboard the ed train.

Ed!

Just watching tv, sarah.

Nothing's going on here.

See?

You better
watch your step, mister.

We sure
fooled her, huh, guys?

Ha ha ha ha!

Honestly, if this is how
you're gonna help, I may as well.

Be doing this myself.

Messy, messy.

Just look at this filth!

Our -legged guests aren't gonna
clean up after themselves, you

Know?

Say party a-go-go!

[Bleating] hot
cocoa and potato salad!

Who's with me?

Ed!

There's something
fishy going on here.

Shh.

A-ha!

Ok, everybody
out of the pool!

Ugh!

Edward, this charade of
lies is in danger of accountability.

Perhaps you should consider
caring for rolf's animals

Elsewhere?

Hold that think!

Ha ha ha!

That's it!

I'm blowing this barn fest.

Eddy, please!

Rolf has returned.

Hello, he who resembles
a swollen thumb, ed boy.

Hello, everyone.

Once again a family fracas has
ended the mirth of rolf's family

Gathering.

Oh, well.

Time to go, yes?

Please pass on rolf's
gratitude to the lucky boy.

Good-bye.

Who's up
for some hockey?

Four!

[Laughing] where
did everybody go?

Oh, I get it.

Hide and seek.

Ok!

Ready or not, here I come!

Hello?

Ok, furry friends.

You win.

Come out, come out
wherever you are!

Um, excuse me, ed, but it
seems rolf returned um, well,

Early, and gathered his...
Yeah, he took all his pests.

And brought them
back to his dump.

Say it isn't so!

[Crying] come back little ones!

I miss my furry friends, guys.

Nah, you're better off
without them, blubber puss.

Don't talk to me.

Eddy, can't you see ed has
developed a bond of friendship.

With rolf's creatures?

[Crying] we owe it
to help him through

This difficult
time of separation.

What, again?

How about my difficult time of
having you on my back through

This whole show!

Hey, I got an idea of a friend
who can help old sad sack here.

Do tell, eddy.

Huh?

What I tell you, ed?

Is he fuzzy and cuddly or what?

Can I keep him, eddy?

Ah ha ha.

Yes, very good, eddy.

I think you've made
your point quite clear.

Oh, I'll admit I may have been a
tad overbearing today, but not.

Without good intentions and
concern for ed's state of well...

Hug the bunny.

Hug the bunny.

Oh, look, he likes me, eddy!

Purr like a bunny.

Rabbits don't purr, ed.

Wait, don't leave me, eddy!

Not this
time, sock head!

I got an obligation.

[Laughing] pet the bunny!

Only cents.

Eddy! [Laughing]

Why, eddy?

Why, I ask you?

Yet another
detention for you and i.

It's all fun and games until
academic grades fall, mister!

Yah, lighten up.

It builds character, sock head.

Did you see how big that thing
got on the teacher's head when

He started yelling?

Ha ha ha!

Man, I thought it
was gonna bust.

The teacher had
every right to be upset, eddy.

Why just the electrical rewiring
of that classroom alone will

Take weeks.

Ah ha ha ha!

You should've seen the
look on your face, sock head.

And did you see
the look on edd's face?

I almost wet my eyebrow, guys.

Chump here sure
knows funny, boy.

[Laughing] who
you calling chump?

Ow!

[Groaning] look.

"Eddy is a no neck chump!"
Can I have your autograph?

Good lord!

Who in their right mind would
deface a sanctum of education?

Somebody who's
out to ruin my good name.

That's who.

It's a smear
campaign, I tell you.

Oh, come now, eddy.

This is in no way a greater
scheme to ruin your reputation.

Why I think you've done a
good job of that on your own.

One well-worn
sneaker, one knit scarf...

One brown pencil case.

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Oh... What in
heaven's name are you.

Doing?

Filching from the
lost and found?

Has this whole school gone mad?

Not me, double d.

I'm in my happy place 'cause
chumpy, the "no neck eddy," has

A plan.

Just wait till I get my
hands on the jerk who wrote those.

Lies!

Why, I'll... Report
them to the school.

Authorities?

Too easy.

I'm going incognito, sock
head, with a super disguise.

I'll create an alter ego that'll
let me schmooze and mingle among.

Those rats without
them knowing it's me!

And then when I find
out who did it, bam!

Ha ha ha ha!

No peeking!

Well, he
certainly has the ego.

Have you ever had
one of those days, ed?

Every day
of my life, double d.

Huh? So?

What do you think?

My own mother
wouldn't recognize me.

Eddy, it's painfully
obvious you're still you.

Look!

A new kid!

My name is ed, friend.

Well, it's just
ed, not ed-friend.

I am ed, and you
are friend, so...

Howdy, ed.

My name's um... Carl!

My family just flew
in from ecuador.

Eddy's
gonna like you, carl.

Bingo.

Oh, eddy!

Come and meet carl, eddy!

Eddy?

This alphabet "f"
confounds rolf to no end!

Phooey!

Rolf would not line
wilfred's pen with such dribble.

Howdy!

I'm new in town, and...

Was wondering if...
Rolf shares in your.

Awkwardness.

As rolf, too, is a stranger
in this strange land.

A son of a shepherd cast
adrift on the far distant shore.

Rolf, have you
seen this no neck chump?

The snake in the
grass ed-boy is missing?

Yup.

If you see him, bind him with
duct tape as he does not play

Well with others and
has been known to dribble.

Is this so?

Dude, good hands!

Come on!

We need a receiver, man.

Me?

A receiver?

You must be new, dude.

The name's kevin.

My name's carl.

My name's jonny, and
this here's my buddy plank.

We're playing hockey,
and you can be short stop!

Don't listen
to clueless, carl.

So, you good for some extra
yards after that catch, bro?

Plank says we need
to break the new kid in.

Right.

Dog pile on the new kid!

Righteous!

Yeah!

Pile on the new kid!

[Laughing] did
you hear my back cr*ck?

Isn't this fun?

Hi, I'm nazz.

What's your name?

Um... I forget.

No, wait.

I'm carl... Yeah.

Hey, pull!

I have lost my eddy.

Aah!

Trip you might over him as
he is short and squirrels like to.

Pelt him with nuts.

My wish has
come true, sarah.

Eddy's disappeared.

Good riddance!

So, kevin, who is this
good-looking eddy kid anyway?

Don't sweat it, carl.

Something you'll
never be: a dork!

Thanks, guy.

Watch me, carl!

One potato,
potato, potato, .

It's a home run, buddy!

Carl, help
me lump this guy.

Well, carl, have you found
this perpetrator of your smear.

Campaign yet?

Double d, something's
really messed up here.

They're all being nice.

Too nice.

Feels like they're setting
me up for something.

As foreign as it may sound
to you, it's called acceptance,

Carl.

Unlike eddy, carl has done
nothing to ostracize himself

From the group dynamic.

Carl has a clean
slate, if you will.

No foolin'?

Have you seen my eddy?

His turn ons are full-length
mirrors, greasy hair products,

And yelling.

Lots of yelling!

He looks
like a loser to me.

But that
loser is you, eddy.

Not anymore, kid.

That dork's hit the trail.

From now on, it's the
good life with carl, kid.

That's me; nice guy.

But eddy,
there is no carl!

Whoa, carlster.

You know these dorks?

Not likely, friend.

I wouldn't hang with these
washouts if they were the last

Dorks on earth.

Ha ha ha!

Right on!

You're awesome, man.

Well, I never.

Of all the no-good... Ed,
eddy's tossed us aside.

The shallow allure
of the in-crowd.

I miss my
eddy, double d.

Worry not, dear ed.

I have a suspicion eddy will
be back sooner than he thinks.

Ha ha.

No, really.

So then I smoothed the teacher
over and gave him props on his

Toupee, and the guy
gives me a "b" on the quiz.

I swear!

[Laughing] ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Good one, kev.

"Carl is a noneck
chump!" [Laughing]

Hey, carl, is
something the matter, dude?

[Laughing] hey, carl!

What are you doing?

Somewhere, my eddy is cold
and alone and will soon have to.

Resort to having to eat his own
body parts in order to survive,

Double d.

Perhaps a rest from
television tonight, yes, ed?

They think they
can put one over on me?

Good luck, 'cause I'm
always one step ahead, baby.

A-ha!

Wait'll they meet me.

Hey, kids, I'm fresh
to this school.

I'm hugo.

What's up?

Huh?

Hugo?

That hugo.

What a no neck chump.

Hi, I'm suzette and
just started here.

Man, what's
with all the new kids?

Kind of nice.

The more, the merrier.

I bet they're gonna
take over and get us expelled.

Do you think, sarah?

Jonny's
an idiot, jimmy.

Say, whose
awesome handwriting is this?

It's so smart and neato.

I bet it was the cute
guy in the red hat.

[Chattering] nice
to meet you, dork ed.

Man, you're so desperate.

[Laughing] [bell ringing]

Oh, yeah?

Think I care?

Who needs you.

Go on, believe what you want.

I'm b*llet proof, baby.

Trouble
in paradise, eddy?

Or should I say carl?

Hugo?

Or is it suzette?

My eddy!

Where have you been, mister?

I have been worried
sick about you.

Friendship restored.

Thank goodness for
water-soluble markers.

And he's got big hair.

Wait till you meet carl, eddy.

He's from ecuador.

Fancy.

You're giving
me a headache, ed.

[Whistling]

"Ed, edd, n eddy!"
Bbbbbb-yeah.
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