05x16 - Mr. Morale

[bunniefuu]

If college is about anything,
it's about commitments.

And how well you
manage those commitments

basically determines how well
your college experience will go.

Hey there, bestie.

I brought you some

"someday you'll look back
at this and laugh" ramen.

They forgot your chopsticks.

Chopsticks? Yaz loved chopsticks.

Oh, no.

Oh, there she goes.

[CRYING]

But it's not all just
fast food and heartbreaks.

♪ Aah ♪

[WHISTLING]

♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, you've
been making me crazy ♪

♪ Deep in my soul, yeah ♪

♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ You know that you been
making me cra-cra-crazy ♪

[WHISTLING]

♪

[MUMBLES]

Hey there, sleepyhead. Was she pretty?

Ah, to be honest, I'm just
dreaming about my calendar.

I don't know how I'm gonna
finish studying for this test

and then get to everything
else I have on my to-do list.

I could help you with the test.

How?

I got a guy that can, um,

get you out of this type of jam.

What do you mean?

Let's just say...

you got questions, and I got answers.

Meaning all the answers to
the test that you have to take.

♪

Either Zeke is having a stroke,

or he's trying to get me to cheat.

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪ Learn something new every day ♪

♪ I don't know, so I'mma feel my way ♪

♪ Got the weight of the world on me ♪

♪ But no regrets, this is what I say ♪

♪ Watch out, world, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪
♪ You can tell me ♪

♪ My heart b*ating so loud ♪

♪ Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪

♪ I'm grown ♪

♪

You mean, like, cheat?

Hey, bro, don't be
throwing the C-word around

when I have a girlfriend.

I'm offering a helping hand.

Or as I like to call it, a finesse.

- A finesse?
- Yeah.

There's this special hookup
that we have as athletes,

but sometimes we extend it to civilians.

It's legit.

The trustees need us to win
games so that alums donate.

So it's in their best
interest to not catch us.

And I get the hesitation.

But when everyone's doing it,

you're kind of a fool if you don't.

Like with steroids, which none of us do.

Hmm. I don't know, man.

What you're describing, it
kind of sounds like cheating.

I just...

Is it cheating that
Willa Clayborne goes here

when she thought that
Intro to Shakespeare

meant that she would
actually meet Shakespeare?

Willa Clayborne. As in
the Clayborne Library?

Yes. As in her dad and his money.

All right? That's just
the way the world works.

So let's get you hooked up with my guy.

It'll be as easy as looking over

at your friend's answers during a test.

Huh! Which is also cheating.

If you're a cop, just say so.

My bad, bro.

♪

Hey. Yeah. My arm is asleep.

No, please.

Baby spoon, out of , man.

Honestly, no complaints.

- Okay.
- Mm.

♪

Look, I know what you're thinking.

I'm supposed to be in New York.

But there's just something
about the views in L.A.

Look at what we're working with.

Oh.

So, thanks to some good planning

and the global domination of Zoom,

I decided to take a little time
to work from the Golden State

in order to spend some quality time

with the hottest
professor on either coast.

Hey, baby, I was
thinking, after I shower,

we could go to the museum to
check out that Tupac exhibit.

Honey, that sounds like a lot of fun,

and I would love to join you,
but I just... I can't, okay?

- I'm completely booked today.
- Oh, yeah?

I have to plan my
syllabus for next semester,

a mandatory training session

for the new
assignment-submission portal,

and my inbox, as you
can see, is at capacity.

I'm not paying for extra storage.

- I don't do that.
- Are you serious?

Come on! Come on. Take
a break with me, please.

Come on. How important could
these silly little e-mails be?

- They're not silly, babe.
- They are.

♪

Okay.

What? Why are you
saying "okay" like that?

- Like what?
- Don't give me those eyes.

These eyes? What?

[GROANS] Okay, fine. You win. All right?

Just give me an hour, I'll
send a few more e-mails,

and then we will say
we're going to the museum

- but really go to the bar.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
- All right.

That means I have some time to k*ll,

so I can meet up with Junior after all.

You were just gonna blow him off?

Well, no, only if you were free.

Hey, this is supposed
to be a bae-cation,

not a family reunion.

Aww, my baby was planning
a little bae-cation.

Mm-hmm.

♪

Guys, she's been staring at
that coffee pot for minutes.

I-I don't think this is a
getting-caffeinated thing.

I think she's still upset
about breaking up with Yazmine.

I can't keep watching this.

[WHISPERING] We have to
help out our sister in need.

Lauryn's right, but never
say "sister in need" again.

- Oh.
- Yeah. Okay.

All right, Zaara, self-pity
time is over, okay?

Go and take a whore's bath,
Zaara. We're going out.

Yeah, and how do you expect

to magically get over
Yazmine if you're watching

"Blue Is the Warmest Color" on repeat?

I mean, I know it's
sad and horny. I get it.

But you got to get up
and get over her, okay?

By getting under someone else.

Or you may be more of a...

... sideways?

Enough.

I'll go. But Lauryn has to walk.

- Understandable.
- Okay.

♪

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey. You're late.

I know. I'm sorry.

I've just been in the middle

of Kanye's publicist's amount of work.

I've been so busy focusing
on the frat and classes

and everything, I've barely been able to

squeak out my Intro to Biology prep.

You think that's hard?

Well, imagine having to
keep up with your assignments

while making sure you
never repeat an outfit

for an entire school year.

I mean, look at this.

Can you not make this about you?

Okay.

I'm not gonna tell
you how to do college,

but maybe focus on
the things that matter,

like no one in the real world

is going to ask to see your report card.

And a lot of what you're learning,

you're gonna forget minutes

into orientation at your first job.

So, prioritize.

- It'll be good for you.
- [CELLPHONE VIBRATES]

So are we gonna sit?
Are you just gonna stand?

- Uh, actually, I can't.
- Are we gonna...

- I'm out.
- I just got here.

Yeah, but you're late, and my
top priority right now is Aaron.

But don't worry. You come in second.

Third.

You know what? You're
for sure top five, Junior.

- Top five, thank you.
- Uh-huh.

Don't make me rank you.

Love you. Bye!

Love you.

JUNIOR: Maybe Zoey was right.
Maybe it's time to prioritize.

So, Zeke hooked me
up with his "finesse,"

which is kind of a big deal

because I'm not a "break
the rules" kind of guy.

I don't even use "Rosebud
semicolon C" in "The Sims."

But this is something that will help me

to manage everything on my plate.

Hi. I'm, uh... I'm friends with Zeke.

He said that you could, you know...

[WHISPERING] help me cheat.

Look around. No one cares.

Just AirDrop me your information.

I'll get you what you
need, and you can Venmo me.

Wow. It's that easy?

Yeah. Just make sure you get
a couple of the questions wrong

so it looks authentic.

And if there's an essay,

- be sure you switch up the wording a bit.
- Right.

And don't be afraid to
misspell a thing or two,

but do it consistently.

Yeah, okay.

Wow, that's a lot of
information, but great.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

Damn.

Maybe cheat codes are the cheat code.

Sometimes you got to get it together.

[BOTH LAUGH]

All right, we have an order
of the jalapeño poppers,

- extra crispy, for the lovely couple.
- Okay.

- And two tequila sh*ts.
- Thanks, my friend.

- Ah?
- On the house.

Top shelf, I presume.

Don't play yourself. Love you, though.

♪

What?

It's just, you know,

I realize how much tension has
left my body since I got here.

Mm-hmm.

It feels so nice to not miss you.

Yeah, I couldn't agree more.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

- We can...
- One second. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Let me get that.

Mm. Yikes. Sorry.

Everything okay?

Yeah. One second. Just work.

Wait, work? No, no, no.
We said we weren't gonna work.

- That's what we said, right?
- No, yeah. You're absolutely right.

I just need to send this
real quick text, I promise.

Look at this. Look at this.

Okay, boom.

Done.

I'm all yours. Where were we?

Well, I was just gonna
lean in to kiss you,

- but your phone was in the way.
- Yeah, no, I like where this is going.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

I really have to take this.

- It's gonna be two...
- [CELLPHONE RINGS]

And she's calling. It's
gonna be two minutes.

- Maybe , maybe.
- Yeah.

No, so quick, so quick, I promise.

Take your time.

♪

So I did it.

Call me Tristan Thompson
'cause I just cheated.

Honestly, I don't know why
I wasn't doing this before.

In the time I wasn't
studying, I grabbed a nap,

I actually installed
that update on my laptop.

I mean, I might have to
start using this service

for all my classes.

Wait, did I give enough wrong answers?

Oh, was that a "see
me after class" look?

Is he's just trying to keep me
here to give campus security

enough time to arrest me?

I cannot get expelled!

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Oh, is it hot in here?

♪

Nice job, Mr. Johnson.

♪

Thanks.

You too.

I just...

I mean, great job this
semester, Dr. Fontana.

I see you.

Hey, hey, hey. That took forever.

But I got a couple of top-shelf sh*ts

for my top-shelf man.

Ah?

Okay, don't be mad.

I wouldn't have left if it wasn't

a real-life fashion emergency.

Fashion emergency? What is that?

Like a "Justin and
Britney in matching denim"

or a "Janet Jackson Super
Bowl" fashion emergency?

No, uh, somebody was misrepresenting

Anti-Muse online,

so I had to go address it
before it became a huge problem.

Oh, I get it.

So you had to delete negative comments

from your company's I.G. page.

It's called brand management
and it's really important.

Oh. Well, you know
what else was important?

The silly e-mails that I needed to send.

I'm sorry, were they?

- Let's... Let's look at them.
- Really?

Um, "Urgent... faculty
training seminar."

- Okay.
- Nice.

"Urgent... time card reconciliation.

Urgent... addendum to previous
urgent timecard e-mail." Wow.

Real critical, life-changing
stuff happening here.

- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, you're absolutely right.

Every single one of these e-mails

is more critical than
a line of fast fashion.

Oh. Fast fashion.

Everything we make is
sustainably sourced,

Professor E-mail.

You know, it's starting
to feel like you think

that what you do is more
important than what I do.

♪

Right. Okay, you know what?

I have some more silly papers
that I'm gonna go grade.

You enjoy yourself.

♪

Ahh.

♪

Oh.

♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ Seen new bag I like,
I went and bought it ♪

♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ Pull up on me, I'mma show you ♪

♪ It's a movie every
time that we party ♪

♪ Ah, yeah, ah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Ain't nobody standin' 'round, it's a party ♪
- Oh, please.

Isn't it great to be out of the dorm?

One quick question.

Why would you bring me to a wine tasting

like I'm a recently divorced boomer?

Because we're determined
to cheer you up.

Plus, Lauryn has a Groupon
that expires in two weeks.

So let's order another round,
and cheers to sisterhood, guys.

ALL: Cheers!

- Whoo! Come on, girl.
- Whoo!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

♪

It's Yaz.

♪

Is there any chance Yaz has has a twin?

It's okay.

Whew! Man.

It's good to have the
biology test off my plate.

Now it's just prepping for the final.

After that, I'll have to
figure out what pre-reqs

to knock out next semester,

which is like eight more term papers

and six more finals.

Then I'll have to make sure
I stay above credits

a semester if I want to
graduate with honors,

which means two extra courses a year.

But that's a ton of work.

But what happens if I can't keep up?

Am I going to have to keep cheating?

Okay. Okay. Chill out!

♪

AARON: Yeah?

Can we talk?

♪

This exam hookup has been at
Cal U since before I started

and will be here long after us.

You know, the real shame is the way

the college-sport industrial complex

exploits its athletes,
especially people of color.

Yeah.

[SIGHS] But why did you do it, Junior?

I don't know. It's not that I'm lazy.

I just... I just didn't have
the time to handle this class

like I normally would.

You just... You never
seemed like the type

who needed that kind of help.

Well, I've always had
school locked down,

but I guess I just didn't
have all of the things

that I have going on now back then.

Now, I have school, the frat,

day trading, relationships, friendships.

And I care about all that a lot more

than I care about Intro to Biology.

Well, Junior, you show
me a college student,

and I'll show you someone who
is struggling to manage stress.

I know I did.

I'm just saying it's
normal to feel overwhelmed.

But, uh, maybe that means it's
time to let some things go.

Yeah. You might be right.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Now, we do need to
discuss how your cheating

is in violation of the honor code.

Are you serious?

No.

Oh! Oh, my God.

- Oh!
- Yeah, this conversation will stay between us.

Professor Fontana is a hardass.

You know, he once called
the cops on someone

who parked in his parking spot.

You guys, I think we made things worse.

Well, none of this would be happening

if we just went to Cheesecake Factory

in Pasadena like I suggested.

Get it through your head!

Nobody wants to drive minutes

just to read a book before they can eat.

- Not today, Satan.
- Guys, come on.

It's not the bar's fault.

Although that didn't help.

I just think we shouldn't have
taken her out in the first place.

No, you guys were right to take me out.

- We were?
- Yeah.

I know. Crazy plot twist.

I'm really sad about
not being with Yazmine.

Sad in a way that I didn't expect.

I know I just need time to feel better.

But until I do, at least I
know you three have my back.

So, thank you.

No, you don't need to
thank us. It's nothing.

Yeah. We're your girls.
We always got you.

Aww, is this a group-hug moment?

Absolutely not.

Make haste. Quickly.

[LAUGHTER]

- You're late again.
- I know.

I'm sorry, but this time
I have a good excuse.

- Mm.
- I was busy having sex with my girlfriend.

- I did not need to know that.
- I know.

Felt off as soon as I said it.

Thought Aaron was
joining us. Where's he at?

Uh, I don't know.

Probably off somewhere grading papers,

feeling superior.

- Ah.
- It's like he doesn't have any clue what I do,

nor does he respect my career.

I think you have that twisted, Zoey.

No, I-I mean it.

I don't even know if he
realizes how big of a deal it is

that I'm and I'm... I'm thriving

in this white-male-dominated industry.

And that takes work.

That's fair, but your
boyfriend is special.

- What he does goes beyond the classroom.
- Mm-hmm.

When I had my cheating problem,

I went to Aaron because I
knew that I could trust him.

And I know that I'm not the only one.

Wait, pause. You cheated?

This isn't about me.

All I'm saying is that he does a
lot of good for people at Cal U.

And it may not be New York Fashion Week,

but it means a lot to
a lot of people here.

Yeah. Yeah.

- I hate it when you're right.
- [CHUCKLES]

And also, I mean, when did
you get all this clarity?

I don't know.

Probably right after having
sex with my girlfriend.

Can you believe that?

And then she gives me
this look, you know,

like... like her sh*t is
more important than mine.

- Mm-hmm.
- Never mind me.

I'm just leading the charge on
shaping the minds of the future.

Okay. Bro, Zoey is k*lling
it in an impossible business.

And still she dropped
everything to spend time

with you here in L.A.

I don't know why, but
she really loves you, man.

[SIGHS] Yeah, I guess...
I guess she does.

Yeah, so you better go put
some respect on her name

before she ends up with
one of them NBA players

who be wearing the wack
outfits to the arenas.

I'll see you.

I'd never leave you
for a basketball player.

A Formula One driver, maybe.

Hmm.

I deserved that.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm sorry.

Thanks. And I'm sorry, too.

I didn't realize or appreciate

how much of what you do goes
well beyond the classroom.

You have the emotional
well-being of dozens

of -year-olds in your hands,

and I can't even begin to
guess how you all monitor

that homework-submission page
algorithm-plot-system thing.

That's not even remotely
close to what it's called,

- but I appreciate the sentiment.
- Okay, I felt that.

But, see, this is the problem. You know?

We need to do a better job

of understanding each other's worlds.

Because you know you're my world.

That was very corny and
cheesy, but I loved it.

But not as much as I
love your asymmetrical,

A-line, peplum, pencil,
yellow line with the...

Please stop talking.

Please stop.

Hmm. That, I understand.

Okay.

So I need to make life changes

in order to get myself into gear.

I canceled King Hall game
night and told the Gammas

I couldn't make the charity car wash.

But what's the point of getting
my grades up for the Gammas

if I'm not hanging with the Gammas?

But I can't hang with the Gammas

if I don't get my grades up,

so then what's the point
of anything, really?

I can't remember the
last time I hit the gym.

When is this paper due?

No, no, no, no. I can figure this out.

I-I-I just have to
prioritize. What comes first?

Is it friends, girlfriend, Gammas,

schoolwork, self-care, family?

Oh, why can't I think?

I'm just trying to think!

No, no! No!

Ohh! That's game.

You know what?

How much money do you owe me now, Doug?

Bro, how many more papers do you have?

We both need you to be done.

I'm nearly there.

But you almost had her that time.

Why don't you guys
go triple for nothing?

All right, if I can't pay
rent next month, it's on you.

Oh, my God, babe,
it's so cute. Let's go.

He's pretending he pays rent.

Babe.

Yeah, when's your
flight back to New York?

I don't know, but I'm
flying first class now.

Let's go. Let's go.

I'm flying first class, meh, meh.

Get whupped! Let's go.