01x16 - Legends

[bunniefuu]

Hee-ya!

Who could be behind a
monstrosity like that?

Aah!

You're only getting
one sh*t, batman!

Now!

Aah!

Good lord! Aah!

Did we win? I'm not sure.

Superman? Batman?

Where'd they go?

Perhaps I can
contact them. Wait.

Aah!

Easy, big guy.

You all right?

Forgive me. I'm fine.

The others can't have gone far.

Let's fan out and find them.

Something's not right here.

Looking swell,
sweetheart. Hee hee!

Definitely not right.

I haven't seen a truck
like that since I was a kid.

Weird. Do you suppose we
got blasted into the past?

Nope, the date's
right... But look.

Seaboard city?

Where the heck is that?

Priceless.

Music master,

Put up your hands and
drop the stradivarius!

Sorry, sergeant, I
don't take requests.

Aah! Aah!

Ha ha ha ha!

Green lantern: not so fast!

Your disguise can't fool
me, green guardsman.

Green guardsman?

It's still the same old song.

Aah!

Curses.

Who was that guy?

Didn't recognize him.

Did you hear what he called me?

Yeah... Green guardsman?

What's up with that?

Man: perhaps you haven't heard,

But in seaboard city...
Crime doesn't pay.

Hey, you've got
the wrong... Unh!

You've just made a big mistake!

Man: no, you did...

When you chose to break the law.

Aah!

It seems we are not
in metropolis anymore.

Yeah, I got that.

It can't be.

Surrender, villains!

Whoever you are,
you're no green lantern.

Aah!

Huh?

Hang on, hawkgirl!

You're quick, son,

But villainy can
never outrun justice.

Whoo-hoo! Go, streak, go!

Wham! Pow!

Give it to him, green guardsman!

Whoa!

Haaa!

Stand down! All
of you, stand down!

No one who would
risk his own life

To save another could be evil.

I think perhaps our
two teams should talk.

Please, make yourselves at home.

Classy.

Allow us to introduce ourselves.

Justice guild, roll call!

Cat man! Black siren!

Green guardsman!

Tom turbine.

The streak.

Uh, yeah, I'm green lantern.

That's flash, hawkgirl,
and j'onn j'onzz.

Streak: and this is our official

Justice guild junior justice
guildsman, ray thompson.

When I grow up, I'm
gonna be a crime fighter.

So long as you remember

To eat right and stay in school.

Ha ha! Right.

J'onn, what's wrong?

A sudden dizziness...
So strange.

Nothing a tall, cold
glass of milk won't cure.

I think I have some
freshly baked cookies, too.

Let's let the men talk.

They can talk all they like.

Could you excuse us for a sec?

I will not be patronized.

We need answers here.

So maybe, just this once,

We can all play along.

So, you fight crime
and bake cookies,

How do you do it?

This can't be real.

Ha ha! Tell me about it.

I almost busted a gut
during that roll call routine.

It's not that. It's
the justice guild.

They're comic book characters.

What? When I was a kid,

My uncle james had the biggest
comic book collection I'd ever seen.

I'd go to his house
every day after school,

And we'd read old
comics all afternoon.

So? So...

The streak, tom turbine,
green guardsman...

They were the stars of
my favorite comic book...

The justice guild of america.

This is too weird.

I know it sounds corny, but...

Those comics taught me
what it meant to be a hero.

Without them...

Well, maybe I wouldn't
have this ring today.

Ok.

Hey, cookie.

One word, and you'll be the
fastest man alive with a limp.

Music master: we
face a new thr*at.

They wore different costumes,

But they had the
same amazing powers

As our sworn enemies,

The streak and green guardsman.

Fiddle sticks!

The justice guild
foiled your crime,

And rather than admit
you dropped the ball,

You blame these phantom heroes.

Cool it, sportsman!

You want a piece of
me, doctor blizzard?

Huh?

Enough squabbling.

I propose a
contest... No, a wager.

A bet? I'm game.

Each of us will see who can pull
off the most spectacular crime.

The winner will earn the
honor of devising a plan

To destroy the justice guild...

In addition to making these
new heroes disappear...

Forever.

Tom turbine: I have a theory
on how you came to be here.

As an expert in nuclear physics,

I have long hypothesized
that there are

An infinite number of
parallel dimensions,

Each containing its
own planet earth.

Each earth occupies
the same location in space

But vibrates at a
different speed.

Flash, the energy
blast you absorbed

Caused you to match the
vibration rate of our earth.

So he created a tear

In the dimensional barriers,

Which brought us here.

Hey, it was an accident, ok?

But this still doesn't explain

The justice guild comics
I read when I was a kid.

J'onn: perhaps the
creators of those comics

Had a subconscious
link to this earth.

What they thought
was merely imagination

Was a psychic memory of the
justice guild's real exploits.

I couldn't have put
it better myself.

Fascinating. But how do
we get back to our world?

I've been tinkering with a prototype
trans-dimensional gateway.

Flash: cool. How does it work?

Unfortunately, I haven't
been able to harness

A suitable energy
source to power it.

Hawkgirl: I guess you're going
to be stuck with us for a while.

Don't worry, friends,

I will toil night and day

Until I discover a
way to get you home.

In the meantime, how
about coffee and dessert?

Black siren?

Right, chief.

Hawkgirl?

I am not getting dessert.

Saved by the bell.

Sergeant o'shaugnessy, to
what do we owe this honor?

Sorry to drop by unannounced,

But we received this
letter down at the precinct.

I rushed it over here
as fast as I could.

Not as fast as
yourself, of course.

Well, for someone
without superhuman speed,

You did just fine,
sergeant, thanks.

Jeepers, what does it say?

"To the justice guild,

"Prepare for our most
fiendish plot of all...

"A crime spree based on the 4
elements of the ancient world:

"Fire, air, water, and earth.

"Catch us if you can.

Dastardly yours,
the injustice guild."

What kind of criminals
tip off the authorities?

Green guardsman: the worst kind.

I doubt there's enough
good between the 4 of them

To care for a wounded puppy.

Justice league,
we need your help.

You can count on us.

Ray, the decoder rings.

We don't have time to induct
you with a formal ceremony,

But consider yourselves honorary
members of the justice guild.

I don't believe it.

You could order
rings just like these

Off the back of
the old comic books.

Nice plastic.

We should split into teams

If we're to have any hope of
defeating the injustice guild.

Let's just go with the
person on our left.

So I guess it's you and me, huh?

Can I come? Can i? Can i?

I would hesitate to put
the boy in harm's way.

Sure thing, little buddy!

Oh, boy!

I'll remain here and work on

The trans-dimensional gateway.

Getting you home is
of equal importance.

Thanks.

Ladies first.

Right.

Obviously, the clue fire
can only mean one thing.

They plan to steal the
fabled flame of rasputin,

A precious ruby necklace on
loan to the seaboard city museum.

You know your stuff.

It's an honor to
fight beside you.

The feeling's mutual.

You're a credit to
your people, son.

Uh, thanks.

Abracadabra.

Streak: stop!

This time we've
caught you red-handed.

Indeed. But I've got one
more trick up my sleeve.

Music master: this calls for
a little traveling music.

Yes! My hunch about
the air crime was dead on.

Music master was after
that priceless antique flyer.

I'll stop him.

Huh?

Haa!

Stop!

What are you doing?!

We can't destroy that plane!

It's an irreplaceable piece of
our nation's aviation heritage!

Then how do you
suggest we stop him?

By using our wits.

Citizens of seaboard city...

I am proud to unveil
this new fountain

As a symbol of my commitment

To our fair city's future.

Dr. Blizzard: freeze!

If you'll excuse me, mr. Mayor,

I'll be leaving with
my chill-gotten gains.

Ha ha ha ha!!

Flash: chill out, blizzard!

We're putting you on ice.

Forgive me if I give
you the cold shoulder.

Look out!

Hold still, blast ya!

Argh!

Exit stage left.

What the...

A pity he uses his
talents for evil

Rather than entertain
children at birthday parties.

The trophy for the seaboard city

Clay court tennis
championship...

The perfect earth crime
to make me filthy rich.

Uh-oh.

Holy hijacking, cat man!

Hang on, ray!

Take the controls!

What's this? New player?

No matter. Watch the birdie.

Argh!

Game, set, and match.

Go left. I'll cut him off.

Remember about the plane.

I'll be gentle.

Ha! Badaba to the fat lady.

May she keep on singing.

Green guardsman: halt,
in the name of justice!

What?

Haaa!

Hey!

Steady the scaffold.
I'll go after the plane.

I can't.

My ring has no
power over aluminum.

Terrific.

Stay here!

Time to face the music.

Aah!

Oof! Uh! Ooh!

Ohh!

Ha ha!

You can't escape
my k*lling chill.

I'm just getting warmed up.

Huh?

Like I said,

You never had a
snowball's chance in...

Flash, look!

You've gotta be kidding.

Oh! Oh!

Whoa, mama!

Unh!

Flash!

Out cold, eh?

Black siren: aah!

It seems I've captured
the greatest prize of all.

Thanks.

Think nothing of it.

Aargh!

Aah!

J'onn!

Lost 'em.

"Here lies scott mason...
The green guardsman"?

No.