03x04 - To Another Shore

[bunniefuu]

Looking good, Diana. Big date?

No such luck, Ollie.

I'm representing Themyscira

at the global
warming conference.

Way to go, man. Save the planet.

More like "save my
relationship with my mother."

Hey, at least you're
speaking again.

It's the first thing
she's asked me to do

since we mended fences.

I'd rather take another
day trip to Tartarus.

I think you'll make
a great diplomat.

Leave your sword.

I'm serious.

I really don't
wanna go by myself.

J'onn, how 'bout you come along

and keep me company?

The Justice League currently has

23 active missions in progress.

Only I can properly deploy
what remains of our resources.

Oh, please.
Mr. Terrific can fill in.

He's smart enough
to do monitor duty

and the Sunday Times
crossword at the same time.

Go ahead, J'onn.

I'm already finished
with the crossword.

You did it in ink
again, didn't you?

Mr. Terrific is
more than capable,

but I insist on remaining
where I'm needed.

Turn around and talk to me.

You've been cooped
up like a hermit

in the Watchtower for
almost two years now.

I can better serve the League...

We're not even gonna
have that argument.

You're a super-strong,
nearly invulnerable,

telepathic shape-changer.

The reason you
aren't on the ground

protecting humanity is
because you don't want to be.

You don't actually like
humanity all that much, do you?

I don't dislike them.

You're not the only newcomer
to this world around here.

People have strange ways

and take a lot of
getting used to.

But it's worth the effort.

They're worth it.

She's got your number, J'onn.

You need to mingle,

maybe take a meal
in the commissary

every once in a while.

My Martian physiology
doesn't require

as many meals as a human.

You know what he means.

You must be terribly lonely.

I've gotta go,

but we're not done
talking about this.

Progress report, Mr. Luthor?

As promised, I've used
various technologies

to augment the powers of
dozens of our associates.

I've had notable
success with Atomic Skull.

And Devil Ray?

Ready for action.

I feel stronger than ever.

That's because you are.

The increased
strength is the least

of the gifts I've granted you.

Your stingers...

Perfect timing, Lex.

I've got an assignment
that's right up Devil Ray's

new-and-improved alley.

Where to?

First, I wanna tell you a story.

In Scandinavia, early
in the tenth century,

lived Prince Jon,

the greatest warrior of his era.

His tremendous skill and valor

brought him fame
throughout the world

as the legendary Viking Prince.

His adventures were epic,

as were the legends that
grew around his exploits.

This much we know to be truth.

On a frozen
b*ttlefield, Prince Jon,

sole survivor of a bloody w*r,

its purpose lost to time,

met a Valkyrie, a messenger
from the Norse gods

sent to escort the
souls of fallen heroes

to their reward in
the halls of Valhalla.

Impossibly, they fell in love

and swore their
hearts to each other.

But Odin, king of
the Norse gods,

discovered their illicit affair,

and enraged, banished
Jon from Valhalla.

The Viking Prince
pleaded with Odin for mercy,

begging to be allowed
to remain with his love.

Odin agreed, saying that
if Jon d*ed a heroic death,

he and his love would
again be united for all eternity.

But Odin was a
crafty god and cruel.

Before exiling Jon,

he gifted him with
invulnerability to harm

from metal, wood,
fire and water.

The Viking Prince soon realized

that he would never
die a hero's death,

because no w*apon
on earth could slay him.

He trod boldly across
a troubled world

in search of adventure
and an honorable death,

growing ever more
distant from humanity.

Eventually, weary of the
endless fight for justice

and despairing
in his loneliness,

he sailed north,

beyond the boundaries
of the known world,

and passed from the
knowledge of men.

That is, until now.

That Viking ship they
found in a glacier last month.

You think it's his?

I know it is.

That's the standard
of King Rikk, his father.

The Viking Prince
is on that ship.

And?

I want you to steal his corpse.

You want me to reverse-engineer

the secret of his
invulnerability.

If we gained that
power, all of us,

we'd have nothing left to fear

from the Justice League.

And we'd be that much closer
to achieving my ultimate goal.

Which, I note,

you haven't seen
fit to share with us.

Patience, my friends.

The grandest prizes
are worth the wait.

The proposed accords
are far too drastic.

With all due respect,
princess, we're talking about

committing hundreds
of billions of dollars,

and nobody's even proven
the existence of global warming.

My mother's
government fully supports

the findings of her scientists,

and those of the vast majority

of scientists here
in man's world.

My government does
not accept those studies.

Then accept the
evidence of your eyes.

There's a Viking
ship at the bottom

of this mountain, hidden
in ice for 1100 years.

If it weren't for
global warming,

we wouldn't even know about it.

Yes, and it was clever PR

for our hosts to
hold the talks here.

But it is not proof.

You have to take this seriously.

Atlantis has already withdrawn

from the World
Assembly over this,

and they aren't the only
country considering action.

Are you suggesting
Themyscira might do the same?

If your pollution continues
to affect my home,

my mother is less
likely to withdraw

than she is to attempt
a m*llitary solution.

As a last resort
only, of course.

Excuse me.

Agent Faraday, what
are you doing here?

Not smoking. Want some?

No, thanks.

I'm here with the
special security team.

The vice president is attending.

But you know that already.

I saw you reading
him the riot act earlier.

I'm not much of a diplomat.

Don't sell yourself short, lady.

You're an international
incident waiting to happen.

By the way, if you
raise your voice

to the V.P. again,

my men are under
orders to sh**t you.

You did not just sh**t at me.

You have to stop!

If you pull that ship free,

half the mountain's
gonna come down.

So?

So I'm not going
to let you do it.

Out of my way, jumbo.

Ow!

That hurt.

Cheater. You're cheating.

It's a poisoned
stinger, sweetheart.

It'll k*ll you... eventually.

Slowly. Painfully.

But today's your lucky day.

I'm gonna put you out
of your misery right now.

Move it, you
goldbricking yahoos!

Pour it on.

You okay?

Arm's numb.

Stomach's not all
that great either.

Easy, princess.
Let me look at that.

Stinger's still in there.

Pull it out.

There's a barb. You
want a b*llet to bite?

There's plenty lying around.

Now.

That's all. It's out.

Then let's take them down.

You are a beautiful man.

I think I'll keep you.

We should retreat.

I'm not backing
down from a fight.

Your bloodstream's
full of poison.

I can't believe you're
still on your feet.

It's only a matter of time
until your system shuts down.

I guess calling for
support isn't backing down.

I gotta say it ain't.

J'onn, I've got a situation.

Watchtower sensors
have picked up

the earth tremors
from your location.

I knew you were on the scene
and assumed you could handle it.

Well, I can't. I'm outnumbered
and I'm not feeling well.

We're still shorthanded.

I could spare Green
Arrow and Mr. Terrific.

Bring who you want
J'onn, but I need you.

Well, that bites.

What's the matter,
honey? Break a nail?

Green Arrow?

And I brought company.

And Black Canary
said a buzz-saw arrow

was self-indulgent.

They've had every opportunity
to escape, but keep fighting.

What makes that ancient
vessel so important?

If I can get my lasso
around one of them,

I can make them tell.

Good idea, but
save your strength.

Gifted him with an
invulnerability to harm.

Close enough.

J'onn, what happened?
Are you okay?

Didn't get it all, but
we can't allow them

to take that ship.

They...

Fire.

You're a sight for sore eyes.

Not to say that ain't
always the case.

What's happening?

♪ Da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da ♪

Hey, buddy.

What are you doing in here?

Well, for one thing,
it's freezin' outside.

You're coming with me.

Hey, watch the hands.

This is just too
good to be true.

Let me give you a hint:

You wanna try holding your
breath as long as you can.

Let me go, freak,

or so help me I'll
give you frostbite

in places you didn't even
know you had places.

Use your powers.

Stop the avalanche,

or all the people
inside will die.

Why should I care?

When it hits, I intend to see

that we're both
standing right here.

I don't even know if
I'm powerful enough

to stop a whole avalanche.

Let's find out, shall we?

If you move, we're gonna
have to mop the floor.

You've done well.

Kiss my frosty butt.

I don't suppose you boys
wanna talk about this?

That's probably for me.

Attention, unidentified craft.

This is special
agent King Faraday.

Your vessel is
currently surrounded

by three United States Navy
Seawolf-class submarines.

While I strongly suggest
you surrender immediately

and prepare to be boarded,

I really enjoy f*ring
Trident missiles

at tiny little subs,

so the decision's
entirely up to you.

How's the shoulder, Diana?

Better. The antitoxin I
found in Devil Ray's belt

did the trick.

I still don't get what
all this was about.

They think the
Viking Prince's corpse

will give them the
secret of invulnerability.

That was their plan,

or as much of it
as I could learn

before something shut
down Giganta's mind.

Green Lantern said the
same thing happened

when he tried to
question Metallo.

So these guys were
working with Metallo?

And perhaps with others.

We can't leave
Prince Jon's body here.

Whoever else is
involved will just try again.

The legend of the Viking Prince
is known even to my people.

If this is really him,

he deserves to be laid to
rest according to tradition.

I'll take care of it.

Meanwhile, something's
definitely not kosher.

Strange thefts,

super villains with
their heads hot-wired

to short out if you
question them.

We got a real mystery
developing here.

True.

But it's a mystery you'll
have to solve without me.

I've been thinking
about what you said

and about the horrible
despair of Prince Jon's life.

I'm a Martian.

I'll live far longer
than he did,

and unless I find a way
to connect with humanity,

I'll live out that
time totally alone.

I can't learn what
I need to learn

on the Watchtower.

And now, all in my own
country I stood on the firm land

The hermit stepped
forth From the boat

And scarcely he could stand

'Oh, shrive me,
shrive me Holy man'

The hermit crossed his brow

'Say quick, ' quoth he

'I bid thee say What
manner of man art thou?'

Forthwith this frame of mine

Was wrenched With a woeful agony

Which forced me To begin my tale

And then it left me free

Since then At an uncertain hour

That agony returns

And till my ghastly tale Is told

This heart within me burns

I pass, like night
From land to land

I have strange power of speech.

That moment That his face I see

I know the man That must hear me

To him my tale I teach