03x09 - Grudge Match

[bunniefuu]

[GRUNTING]

[PERSON COUGHS]

[YAWNS]

[GRUNTING]

MAN: Ha-ha. Come on.

[ALL YELLING, CHATTERING]

Disaster.

You don't know the half of it.

We'll be lucky if we can
make the rent on this toilet.

That's it?

Nobody's betting.

ROULETTE: Who can blame them?

[BEEPS]

It's no good.

There isn't enough.

The last remnant of Brainiac,

but there isn't
enough to work with.

Perhaps if you constructed
a positronic event chamber?

Yes.

Yes, that could work. But
where would I get the money?

Between the government
freezing my assets

and the cost of running
this secret society...

He's talking to his
imaginary friend again.

You're a resourceful
human, Luthor.

I'm sure you'll find a way.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What do you want, Sonar?

You busy? Roulette wants to...

I'm more than capable
of speaking for myself.

Lex, darling...

I'm having some serious
financial problems,

and I'm afraid you're to blame.

Well, don't look at me
to bail you out, Roulette.

I'm the one who skims you.

You know I don't
like to complain, Lex,

but you are taking
a much bigger cut

of the gross than
Grodd ever did.

And Metabrawl receipts are down.

I've seen the books.

Now, don't think me ungrateful,

but you've been
poaching the best fighters

for your so-called
secret society.

Pity. Cut to the
chase, Roulette.

What do you want?

If I could only have
a few star attractions

in the ring.

Bizarro.

Sinestro.

Maybe Bizarro versus Sinestro?

TALA: Back off, hot pants.

Give the man some space.

You're playing with fire, witch.

Who's playing?

Tala.

Come on. Let them
go at it a minute.

There's not going
to be any fighting.

At least not here.

Sonar...

I think you've given
me the solution

to Roulette's problem.

And mine as well.

Of course. The new Metabrawl.

All girl fights all the time.

We'll call it the Glamour Slam.

Or The Belles of the Brawl.

Chickapalooza.

With the right backing,
it's a million-dollar idea.

A cash cow.

But even this won't
work if the girls

are all second-string villains.

Who said anything
about villains?

[♪♪♪]

BLACK CANARY: Nowhere
to run, nowhere to hide.

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

Need a hand, Canary?

Not from you.

[GRUNTS]

Suit yourself.

I've never seen you so sloppy.

What's the deal?

Get out of my way!

[GRUNTS, GROANS]

I don't need your
help, Huntress.

Right.

You were doing a fabulous job

of getting your
butt handed to you.

What did he do, anyway?

Stole a wallet.

Shut up. You got
creamed by a pickpocket?

You sure you're okay? [GROANS]

Worried?

Curious.

Right.

I didn't think you
cared about anyone.

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[SIGHS]

HUNTRESS: I'm telling you,
Q, Canary's totally off her game.

Think she's moonlighting?

Maybe she's stepping
out on Green Arrow.

The deeper mystery here
is, why do you even care?

Isn't this the woman who b*at

the snot out of you
a few months back?

She got a lucky sh*t in.

Okay. Five or six lucky sh*ts.

Anyway, that's not the point.

Aha! As I suspected.

Thirty-two flavors.

There's something
wrong here, Q. I can feel it.

I'm the conspiracy theorist,

and even I don't see anything.

[SIGHS]

So... what are you wearing?

Blue overcoat. Fedora.

[SCOFFS] You
really stink at this.

Orange socks?

[HANGS UP]

[MOTORCYCLE REVS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

[BEEPING]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Piece of... [ELEVATOR
BELL DINGS]

cake.

Going down?

[GROANING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[BEEPING]

ROULETTE: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to another
ultra-exclusive evening

of Metabrawl Glamour Slam.

My name is Roulette,
and I make the rules.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[♪♪♪]

Prepare to see the
biggest, baddest

super-powered
struggle for dominance

that it has ever been
my pleasure to present.

A no-holds barred fight between

two legendary
ladies of the league.

Fire, the blistering
babe from Brazil.

And the sultry siren of
the sonic smackdown,

the undefeated queen
of the Glamour Slam,

Black Canary.

[CROWD CHEERING WILDLY]

[WOLF WHISTLES]

Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let the pain begin.

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[GROANS]

[MOANS]

[GRUNTING]

[GASPING, CHEERING]

[MOANS]

Woo-hoo!

[YELLS]

ROULETTE: And the winner is...

Jeez, what's wrong with you?

You almost k*lled
Fire back there.

Are you undercover?

Is Roulette blackmailing
you? Talk to me.

[GRUNTING]

You've got worse
than that coming.

[GRUNTING]

[INHALES]

[GROANS, CHOKES]

Better call the league in on...

[GRUNTING]

Terrific.

What's... What's going...

MAN: Thanks for
saving us the trouble.

We really appreciate it.

HUNTRESS: How was I supposed
to know you'd snapped out of it?

I mean, I couldn't be sure.

They've had you up every
night working the arena.

No wonder you've
been fighting like a girl.

You know what I mean.

[DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS]

Don't remember, do you?

You did that to her.

No way.

Where do you think
you got that burn?

It wasn't your fault.

They must be using some
kind of mind-control technology.

Grodd's. Wherever it comes from,

that stuff's a little too
efficient for my taste.

Your earpiece was
wrecked in the fight.

We can't phone for help.

Yeah. Yeah, I
think you're right.

The league
comm-links. That must be

how Roulette was
controlling you.

If she dies, Roulette,

I'm taking you down
hard. I promise you that.

Now, why would I let such
a valuable commodity die?

On the other hand, you
two aren't under my control,

which means I'm going
to have to... [SNAPS]

eliminate you.

In the ring, of course.

Why just snuff you when I
can sell tickets and lay odds?

You're scum.

No, no, my dear.
I'm an entrepreneur.

Let's face it, With some
A-list heroes to do the jobs,

your deaths will
net me millions.

An extra added attraction
tonight, ladies and gentlemen.

Black Canary had so much fun,

she's come back for more.

And she's brought
the Huntress with her.

[BEEPING]

But they won't be
fighting each other.

[CROWD BOOING]

They'll be fighting together.

Huntress and Black Canary

versus two new contenders.

Vixen. The beauty
with the beast powers,

And the Thanagar
thrasher, Hawkgirl.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Ladies and gentlemen,
place your bets.

Looks like we're
in this together.

If you call me girlfriend,
I'm gonna drop-kick you

into the next county.

Now don't go all
sentimental on me.

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLS]

No, no, no, little bird.

Watchtower.

What?

Let me give you
the short version.

[GRUNTING]

I don't want to
hurt you, Shayera.

But I wanna hurt you.

[GRUNTING]

Just when we were
starting to get along.

[SCREAMS, MOANS]

Huh?

I don't think I wanna know.

We're all in a cage
match fighting to the death.

Yeah, see?

MAN: Come on. Fight. Fight.

MAN 2: What are you doing?

That all you got?!

Oh, no.

I've saved the
very best for last.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

ROULETTE: Yes, that's
really Wonder Woman,

ladies and gentlemen.

It is on!

Can even these four
beautiful bruisers stand up

to the Amazon
powerhouse herself?

Anybody got a plan?

Yeah. Try to stay alive.

Anybody got a good plan?

[GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTING]

Were getting creamed here.

Let me try. Cover your ears.

[SCREECHES]

[CROWD BOOING]

[♪♪♪]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[YELLING]

[SCREAMING, YELLING]

Keep her busy so I can
take her from behind.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

Oh, nice move.

That's all I got.

[GRUNTING]

Control center's gotta
be up there. Hang on.

I should've taken you
down last time. My mistake.

[SCREECHES]

[GRUNTS]

I know your kind,
Roulette. You like to watch.

But when it comes to getting
your own pretty hands dirty...

Didn't think I was
that good, did you?

[GRUNTS]

Breaking news, I'm even better.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMS]

[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]

[GRUNTING]

Who's better?

[STRAINING] You.

[BONES CRUNCH] You.

Got that right.

In another 30 seconds, your
brains will be so scrambled,

I'll be able to serve
them up with bacon.

[GRUNTS]

[MOANS]

Okay! I give up.

[GRUNTS]

Do I k*ll the signal, or you?

[GRUNTING]

I hope you two have
an explanation for this.

Slow steps. That's it.

I did what?

I know how you feel.

You know, if you
want, I can talk

to the League and
get you back in.

Nah. I do fine on my own.

Thank you, Helena.
If you hadn't...

You would've done the same.

I was totally whipping your
butt back when they caught us.

Pff. In your dreams.

Like I'd waste my dreams on you.

We could settle this right now.

After all the mindless
brutality we've seen tonight?

No, thanks.

Yeah, I hear you.

Bad enough most
people think superheroes

solve all their
problems with their fists.

Like we're all a bunch of
muscle-headed stereotypes.

We're better than that.

Way.

Two falls out of three?

You're on.

[♪♪♪]

[BOTH YELL]

[♪♪♪]