04x05 - Moonshine

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Starsky & Hutch". Aired: April 30, 1975 –; May 15, 1979.*
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Streetwise Detective David Starsky partners up with a more intellectual partner, Kenneth 'Hutch' Hutchinson, to protect citizens and patrol the streets of Bay City.
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04x05 - Moonshine

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

Don't... Don't sweat it, Virgil.

We done got enough now

to turn the county
reservoir into lemonade.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, but we ain't
making lemonade.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

That's good.

Hey!

Don't you litter.

You know that's against the law.

[LAUGHING]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[BELCHES]

Hey. Hey, Virg.

I'm standing right here.

You so drunk you can't see me?

Virg, I ain't feeling too good.

Why, you never
could hold your liquor.

It ain't that, Virg.
It's something else.

Ahh! My...

You do look a little peaked.

You gonna make it all right?

If I can put out
this fire in my head.

Yeah.

[GIGGLING]

You just get the
rest of that stacked,

and I'll get the rest
of it, it's in the back.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKER]

What are you doing?

Nothing. What do you mean?

Well, you know:

You got a problem or something?

What are you talking about?

WOMAN [ON RADIO]:
Zebra Three. Come in.

Hey.

Yeah, Zebra Three, go ahead.

Two-eleven in
progress at a warehouse

in the vicinity of
Melrose and Fifth.

Roger on the call.

"An Anglo's Guide
to Latin Disco"?

Hey!

Let's go.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

Virgil, I feel worse.

Well, I ain't feeling
so hot neither.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Let's get the hell out of here.

Now, come on!

Get in there.

Let's go! Hurry up!

[ENGINE STARTS]

They're on us.

[TRUCK HORN HONKING]

Straighten up! Don't
be dying on me!

Straighten up, Frank!

We got 'em now. It's a dead end.

Come on, come on out of there.

Come on!

Starsk, call an ambulance.
These men are dying.

[YAWNS]

Where's your partner?
Oh, I don't know, captain.

I think he's getting
something to eat.

Those two plowboys you
busted yesterday are dead.

Find Starsky.

Meet me in my
office in 10 minutes.

WOMAN: But, Pa, Virgil and
Frank were practically next of kin.

PA: Yeah, you're right, Dolly.

And the least they deserve

is a decent funeral back
home in Kentucky now.

MAN: What if those feds chase
those boys right back to us?

We're using cold
cash and false names

to get their bodies home,
if it's all right with you.

I still think you're
wasting a whole lot of time

and a lot of money
for a bunch of stiffs.

You know what, Will?

You've got about as much warmth

as an outhouse
on a winter's morn.

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHING]

[ENGINE STARTS]
Hoo-hoo-hoo. Whoo!

[KNOCKING] Come in, Starsky.

Oh, I'm sorry, captain.

Kendall. Excuse me.

Is this the wrong time?

Detective Starsky, Hutchinson.

How do you do? Robert Kendall.

The Treasury Department.

No kidding.

He's in our town investigating
an illegal booze operation.

Bootlegging?

That's right. You got it.

Moonshine.

Ah, come on.

I thought that only happened
beneath the Mason-Dixon Line.

People come here from
every state in the country.

There are little pockets of
the South all over this town.

The coroner says those
dudes you ran down

d*ed from bad booze.

Mr. Kendall here thinks
it's, uh, part of an operation.

Starsky, that
explains the sugar.

Yeah, but...

Why would they have to
steal it if they could buy it?

Oh, well, bootleggers know
that one way we trace them

is by checking large
purchases of sugar.

If these guys were
part of an organization,

why drink their own poison?

They thought they were
drinking their regular moonshine.

It's no worse for you
than high-octane whiskey.

Unless it's cut
with wood alcohol

to increase the
supply, then it's deadly.

Gentlemen, I gotta run.

I'll keep in touch
with this office

and pass on any
information I come up with.

Do that, Kendall. Thank you.

Here's a list of the
bars and h*nky-tonks

found in the van.

What are these, outlets?

I want you to pay 'em a visit.

But before you do,

change into something,
uh, a little more down home.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'll be sure to get
my coonskin cap

out of my closet.

I want you to find this still

and bust it before we have
a body count on our hands.

Did you ever hear of Eliot Ness?

[DOOR OPENS]

Eliot Ness?

Who's he?

DOLLY: But, Pa, that coroner
said that Frank and Virgil d*ed

from drinking bad corn liquor.

How can we be sure
it wasn't one of ours?

Our family's been
in the corn business

in three states
through four wars

and more than 20 presidents.

And we ain't run
off a bad batch yet.

Yeah, but I still think
we ought to shut down,

just to be sure.

No way, Dolly.

In fact, with that big
distributor waiting,

we gonna have to
double our production.

Not till we figure this out.

Hey, it ain't our fault a
couple of fools we hired

got themselves k*lled
drinking bad liquor.

That liquor was in our jugs.

Yeah, well, maybe
somebody spiked it on them

with wood alcohol or somethin'.

Ugh...

Anyone who would turn
a fine brew into poison

ought to be put away.

But, Doll,

if it'll make you
feel any better,

go ahead and round
up that last batch

from our customers and dump
it out in the woods somewhere.

Oh, Pa, thank you.

I hoped that's what
you were gonna say.

You're an angel.

Ah, scat out of here.

Need a hand, Dolly?

If I do, I'll whistle.

And I don't remember whistling.

I'm a wiz with
those old slant sixes.

[LAUGHS]

That just happens to be a shame

because this here's
a brand-new 441 V8,

and it's bored, stroked
and blueprinted.

Wiz.

You're one cool lady, Dolly.

But that's just gonna
make it all the more tasty

when you finally melt.

[ENGINE STARTS & REVS]

Going right through
the door, are you?

Only if you're in front of it.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Melvin,

do you have to play soldier?

I told you, Sam.

There's been a fed
asking questions

down at the Backwoods Inn.

[SIGHS]

Willy...

what if he finds out it's us
that's been cutting the brew?

We'll just take him for a
long walk in the woods.

Dolly too?

Are you crazy, boy?

I got plans for
that little girl.

[CHUCKLING]

STARSKY: And before I
knew it, Roxy signed us up

for this big dance contest.

HUTCH: Yeah?

So who told her you were the
West Coast disco champion?

STARSKY: We had kind
of a lot to drink that night.

HUTCH: Figures.

That your way of saying

you're looking
for trouble, fella?

Sorry about that. [COUGHS]

That ain't gonna
get my clothes clean!

Uh...

I hate to inform
you, pally, but, uh...

a 2-ton sandblaster wouldn't
get those clothes clean.

[WHISTLING]

[LAUGHING]

Well, you ain't wrong there.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Whereabouts you boys from?

Uh... Alabama.

Alabama. Yeah. And, uh...

You know, I ain't had
a sh*t of nothing decent

since I left home.

Well, come on
in. You're all right!

Well, okay.

You too, blondie.

Oh, yes, sir.

You're all right!

[COUNTRY MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]

HUTCH: Sorry, partner.

Just a thirsty man
in a hurry for a drink.

Pour my friends a double, Rudy,

of the house specialty.

They all right.

Begging your pardon there,

no offense, but I'd like a beer.

Oh. Well, boy, this
Cumberland home brew

will knock your socks off.

Well, if it's
flammable, I'll drink it.

To our sweet home Alabama.

To Alabama.

Lord, I'm coming back to ya.

I'm coming home.

I think you better
take a sip of that.

Are you kidding?

A couple guys d*ed from
drinking this kind of stuff.

Ah.

What you waiting for, brother?
It's been aged a week already.

Well, I was, uh...

I was, uh, thinking
about my mama...

In 'Bama.

Well, then we'll
drink to her too.

Hey, Rudy, let's have another.

HUTCH: Oh, boy.

You know, where I come from,

a man who won't drink
to 'Bama or his mama...

is an endangered species.

[ALL LAUGHING]

You know something?

I think you'd better
drink those glasses down.

Are you nuts?

Well, it's a little
hard to dance

with broken kneecaps, you know.

[LAUGHS]

Well... Here's to 'Bama.

And to mama.

[♪♪♪]

[FACTORY WHISTLE BLOWING]

[HUMMING]

Rudy.

You know a couple guys
d*ed drinking this moonshine.

I heard about that.

But it's hard to believe
about old Cumberland.

I been pouring
that stuff for years,

and I ain't had a complaint yet.

Ask your pal over here. Heh.

He's had enough
of it to really know.

Man...

I have had Kool-Aid
that is stronger.

STARSKY: Oh! [LAUGHING]

I'm back.

What's going on back there?

[GIGGLING]

Rudy, I wanna know
who your supplier is.

I don't know.

I mean, every once in a while

a man comes by and,
uh, sells me some.

What's the name?

He never asked him his name.

Like he says, I never asked him.

Well, look, uh...

we're gonna have to confiscate
whatever moonshine you've got.

This is all I've got.

Terrific.

And I'm gonna drink it.

Ah, ah, ah.

What do you...?

Now, look, Rudy,

you can make it
easy on yourself,

you can make it
hard on yourself.

You're selling bootleg.

Now if you don't cooperate,
you're an accessory.

If you do cooperate,
you're a friendly witness.

It's up to you.

All right, I'll be friendly.

He's friendly.

But this is all I've got.

A girl came earlier and
picked up the rest of 'em.

I need names.

Well, I don't know any names.

But, uh, if it'll help you,

she was built like a...

brick battleship.

What was she driving?

Come on.

A yellow pickup.

But, uh, I don't know

where she comes from
or who she works for.

Anybody else tries to sell
you any of that home brew...

Give him a card.

[GIGGLES]

Just contact us here, huh.

Can you make it?

Can I make what? Good.

Now, look...

you hold this for me.

[LAUGHING] Where are my keys?

Keys...

[♪♪♪]

You sure you're all
right to drive, huh?

[LAUGHS]

I'm sure. Okay.

You kidding?

Once I get behind that
wheel, I'm steady as a rock.

Whew.

Well, why don't you get in
there behind the wheel, huh?

I can drive.

No, no, it's all
right. It's all right.

You're doing fine
over here. Come on.

[HORN HONKING]

[HORN STOPS]

[LAUGHS]

HUTCH: Come on, slide over, huh.

Slide. Slide.

Come on.

Come on. Slide.

Up you... Up you
go. I'll tell you what,

give me the keys, and
you can drive, huh?

Come on.

You know, you fooled me on that.

I'm driving. You're driving.

What's this?

Who's driving? What's what?

Maybe if you tried on
your little black pumps,

darling, you'd feel better.

[CHUCKLES] Come on.

Up you go. Hey.

What are they for, huh?
What do you mean?

You know what these are for.

For the dance contest tonight.

What are you doing?
[ENGINE STARTS]

What do you want me to
use, a pair of sneakers?

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

This next bar should
be just up the street here.

We'll get you some
more coffee there, huh?

Forget it.

My stomach's about to fall out.

What's this? Yellow
pickup? Look at that.

STARSKY: She's
definitely a girl.

[HORN HONKING]

[HORN HONKING]

We woulda had better
luck with a skateboard.

[EXHALES]

I think I'm gonna
be sick. Oh, no.

WOMAN [ON RADIO]: Zebra Three.
Zebra Three. Patch in from Captain Dobey.

Yeah, go ahead.

Hutchinson?

I want you and Starsky to
check out that old Backwoods Inn.

I thought Kendall was
gonna take care of that.

He did, last night.

They found his body
about an hour ago

up on Old Ranch Road.

[SIGHS]

Yeah, all right. We'll
be there tonight.

You'd better be.

And with a lot better
cover than Kendall had.

[♪♪♪]

Do I look like a
tote bag to you?

Now, you take those
jugs, and you dump 'em.

Put the empties
in the storeroom.

Dolly, why don't we
just store 'em for a while.

We're not even sure yet
whether they're bad or not.

What's gained by that?

Besides, I didn't
drive all the way down

to that hot and smoggy
city just for my health.

Now, that stuff goes.

Well, maybe we can test it.

Willy,

I'm getting a little tired
of your interference.

Now, I said that
stuff goes, so it goes.

And besides, I'm not taking a
chance on poisoning myself.

If you wanna
take a tiny little sip,

you take it.

Even if it is bad, we can cut it

with this new run of good stuff.

There wouldn't be enough
bad left to even hurt a fly.

Willy, we don't do
business like that!

What's all the jawing about?

Sam, I got a buyer.

He wants 1000
gallons by Saturday.

There's no way we can come
up with that much by then.

Do it my way, you can.

Yeah, you know what his way is?

He wants to take the old
stuff and cut it with the new.

It'll cut it plenty, Sam,

so as no one will get
poisoned, much less sick.

Besides, it's a $10,000 sale.

Two men have
already d*ed, Willy.

Don't that mean anything to you?

Is it worth it?

Yeah.

You're gonna dump it.

Mel?

Yeah, Dolly?

Dump all that stuff.

Dump it!

WILLY: You're the boss, Dolly.

You got it.

Come on. I'll help you, Mel.

You got yourself a
lot of horses here.

Piston heads the size
of manhole covers.

If that don't qualify
you as a good old boy,

nothing will.

So, what's a
detective first-class

doing driving a thing like this?

[GIGGLES] Just trying to
regain my lost youth, I guess.

You see, you are looking at

the former teenage
terror of Giddings, Texas.

You mean you drive this thing?

Yeah, only on weekends.

Trade in my double knit

for jeans and
T-shirt and cruise.

Gives my old lady
something to scream about.

Now...

to anybody who
is not in the know,

this looks like a usual CB rig.

But a flick of this
toggle switch here,

and you got
yourself a police radio

with a range of 50 miles.

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Two-eleven
in progress at 1-3-2-6 Devon.

That's very thoughtful.

Hey, Munson.

Wanna hear a tune?

Oh. Uh, no, thanks, sergeant.

Say, what's with
this guitar, anyway?

What's the matter with you, boy?

You never heard of C.W. Jackson?

Hottest country picker
this side of Bell County?

Oh, uh, watch the
paint job, will you?

[ENGINE STARTS]
That's hand-rubbed lacquer.

There's no synchro in second,
so watch it when you shift!

[♪♪♪]

Oh, my gears.

Hey, little brother.

[CHUCKLES]

Hoo-wee!

[LAUGHING]

Don't do that.

Well, you heard Dolly.

She said dump it.

Are you gonna
listen to her or me?

Well, you calling
the sh*ts, Willy.

Well, these jugs
go back in the barn.

They're gonna help make up
that 1000-gallon delivery we got.

But, Willy, some of this is
out-and-out bad whiskey.

I know. It just ain't right, us
making 10 thou off of rotgut.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

Hey, and maybe
we can buy us a bar.

That's right, little brother.

Maybe we can. Maybe
we can. [LAUGHING]

Hoo-wee!

HUTCH: Aha. Backwards...
Uh, Backwoods Inn.

Amateur Night.

[ACCORDION PLAYING INSIDE INN]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

I know you can find me a
couple old boys, there, Ben.

sh**t, it's easier than
filling a trunk full of mud.

Just pick up a couple,
two, three loads of sugar,

get the money and run.

Everybody heard what
happened to the last boys

that worked for you, Willy.

Hey, do you expect me
to carry this thing all night?

Everybody carries an
axe at an amateur night.

Just hope nobody
asks you to play it.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Excuse me, ma'am.

Howdy.

HUTCH: One hell
of a musician, huh?

STARSKY: Hey.

Do you play that thing, Curly,

or is that just your
way of getting attention?

Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, uh...

Johnny Stovall.

Hi. Just came from smash hit in,

uh, Nashville.

HUTCH: Yeah, if I
was gathering eggs,

I'd sure like to
find you in my nest.

C.W. Jackson, the
hottest country picker

this side of Bell County.

[LAUGHS]

Well, no kidding.

I'm Ben Meadows.

BOTH: Hi, Ben. I own this joint.

Sorry about that.

What do you do?

Well, actually,

I'm not much of a musician.

Aw, don't kid yourself,
Johnny. No, I'm more of a, uh...

Of an agent.

A manager. Yeah, manager.

Kind of like Colonel
Parker of Tobacco Road.

[ALL LAUGHING]

You don't think that's
funny? And, uh...

[CHUCKLES] Uh, C.W. here...

he picks a mean guitar.

Well, not all the time.

Well, well, is that
right? I'll tell you what.

We can use you right up there.

Hey...

Uh, look, Ben, uh...

HUTCH: Uh, Ben?

[CROWD WHISTLING,
SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[CYMBALS CRASHING] [LAUGHS]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[BEN CHUCKLES]

With the sorry lack
of talent we got here

at the Backwoods Inn tonight...

[CHUCKLES]

I'm just tickled pink
to introduce you

to the hottest picker
this side of Bell County,

C.W. Jackson.

Here he goes! Whoo!

[MAN WHOOPING]

STARSKY: Here he goes.

How you doing, boys?

See you got a piano here, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, well, I guess if
I'm gonna pick this thing,

I'd better take it out
of the case, huh?

Y'all know Willie?
Y'all know old Waylon?

Well, I'm C.W.

Whoo!

[PLAYS COUNTRY TUNE]

Whoo! Whoo!

HUTCH: Uh...

Well, there's more.

I think it's coming
back to me now.

[PLAYING COUNTRY TUNE]

[CROWD CLAPPING WITH b*at]

[CROWD WHOOPING]

Whoo-hoo!

[SIGHS]

C.W.! Whoo! Whoo!

[CROWD CHEERING,
WHOOPING & WHISTLING]

I like bluegrass
better than music!

Whoo!

Thank you. Thank you.

That's all right.
That's all right.

[CONVERSING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN: Do another
one? Do another one.

Whoo-hoo! All right, all right.

Sounds fine.

You were good.

Aw, shucks, honey,
it was nothing.

Ahem, I'll tell you, C.W...

you darn near knocked
their socks right off.

Yeah, well, that's a compliment
coming from you, Big John.

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

That was a bit of
all right there, C.W.

Ah.

Listen, uh, you boys,
uh, in the music business

on a professional level?

Well, we'd kind of
like to say we were,

but, uh, after all, ahem,

it doesn't pay the rent. Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah, we got... We
got something else for that.

Yeah? Uh, what's that?

Delivery.

Delivery, huh?

Well, what do you deliver?

Bootleg.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Yeah, last job we got

was down in Tennessee.
STARSKY: Mm-hm.

Of course, coming
up into these parts,

there's not much call
for boys with our talent.

Uh-huh.

If you know what I mean.

Well...

[CHUCKLES]

If you boys can do
what you say you do

just half as good as
old C.W. here can pick...

I'm gonna put you in
touch with somebody

who's just gonna
love you to pieces.

We're waiting.

Willy?

You know, Pa, I've been thinking

about us going legitimate.

You mean pay taxes
on what we brew?

Mm-hm.

No, baby.

Our family was brewing corn

when Washington, D.C. was
nothing more than a swamp.

And we ain't gonna start
paying for the privileges now.

WILLY: Sam. Yeah?

I just hired us some
help for that sugar pickup.

Yeah?

Johnny Stovall and C.W. Jackson,

say hello to Sam Ivers. Hi.

Hi, Sam. Hi there.

How are you? Hi,
Sam, how are you?

I noticed you already met Dolly.

Sure did. Hey, why don't we all

just scoot up to the bar and
have a snort of loudmouth?

Oh, that's a swell idea.
Why don't we just order in.

Oh, no, I think the
bar is a fine place

to have a snort of,
ahem, loudmouth.

Well, fine. See you around.

You're racy.

Hi there, Dolly.
Hi there, Johnny.

Mighty fine name.

So's Johnny. Why, thank you.

Ahem, say, uh, you wouldn't
happen, by any chance, uh,

drive a yellow GMC pickup?

Yeah, I do. How'd you know?

Well, I've seen
you tooling around.

[LAUGHS]

You got a clean machine.

Well, thank you,
Johnny. Thank you, Dolly.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Let's see. That's 25 50-pound
sacks of granulated fine

at 67 cents, comes to $727.50.

[ENGINE STARTS]

You'll have a check
by the end of week.

I certainly hope so.

By the way, captain,

what are you gonna
do with all this sugar?

Piña coladas.

You can look at me and
tell I love them, can't you?

Thank you, captain.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

HUTCH: That's 1000 pounds

and change there, Willy.

That ought to make
your sweet tooth happy.

And if you're looking
for Dolly, she ain't here.

I'm looking for your wheels

so we can follow
you up to the still.

Well, I'm taking your truck.

Wait a minute. Nobody's
going in this truck nowhere

without one of us in it.

What? And give you boys
a guided tour of the still?

No way.

How do we know you're
gonna bring the money?

Well, now, it looks like

you're just gonna have
to trust me, old buddy.

Hey, just wait a minute,
Willy. [ENGINE STARTS]

[♪♪♪]

HUTCH: Hey!

Hey, kid, give me
your bike, will you?

Hey, what are you doing?

Look, I just wanna borrow it.

How much you
want? I want 30 bucks.

Yeah, how about the hat?
Look, I'll be back for it, okay?

[MOTOR STARTS]

WILLY: ♪ It's all right Mama ♪

♪ Anything you do ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ It's all right ♪

♪ Is all right ♪

♪ It's all right Mama ♪

[HUMMING]

♪ It's all right Mama ♪

MAN [OVER RADIO]: Ten-four.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

MAN 2 [OVER RADIO]:
You're trying to...

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Zebra
Three. Zebra Three. Come in, please.

Zebra Three, do you read me?

I read you, cousin.

This is the police dispatcher.

Captain Dobey
requests your location.

Please respond.

Zebra Three, come in.

Zebra Three, do you read me?

[♪♪♪]

He's a cop.

He's a lousy cop.

[♪♪♪]

We're in the northwest
quadrant of the county,

just off State Highway 105.

What's he driving?

He's driving
Munson's red pickup.

Where's Starsky?

Starsky's in the
back of the pickup.

What the hell is
going on out there?

Look, captain, I don't
have time to explain.

Am I gonna get the helicopter
and the backup or not?

It's all on the way.

Thanks.

[♪♪♪]

[MOTOR STARTS]

You got the goods, Willy?

Yep.

And a little added attraction.

STARSKY: Howdy.

Hey, Johnny. What
you doing here?

Well, uh, ahem...

I just had to see your smiling
face one more time, Dolly.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, come on, now,
you didn't expect me

to let you take off alone, huh?

After all, I got a lot of dough
tied up in these wheels.

Hey, I thought we agreed
not to let no strangers up here.

Ain't he liable to
say something?

Not a chance, Melvin.
This old boy ain't leaving.

Howdy. Howdy.

How you doing?

What's going on here, Willy?

He's a cop, Sam.

STARSKY: A cop?

Ah, Willy, you got one
hell of an imagination.

Imagination, huh?
Look, not me, pal.

Yeah, I suppose that cop
radio I found in your truck

is my imagination, huh?

And this here
p*stol, it ain't real.

Yeah...

Hm.

And lookie here,

what my imagination
done made up.

A chintzy piece of tin.

How you gonna explain that?

It was either that or
work in my uncle's deli.

I'm sorry

about this guys,

but, uh, ahem,

you're under arrest.

[CHUCKLES]

Arrest that!

[LAUGHS]

You're loco. Now, put...

Put that away. Sam
runs things here.

The only thing Sam
runs is his mouth.

I run a clean operation, Willy.

No strong-arm stuff, no
graft and nothing heavy.

Not any more, Sam.

Willy here k*lled
himself a federal agent.

You're...! Well, he
was on to us, Sam!

Now you in just as
deep as the rest of us.

DOLLY: You're sick!

Do you hear me? You
are sick! [LAUGHS]

Melvin,

take him for a walk
and bury him so deep

he don't stink up the place.

DOLLY: Willy, listen,

I'm real sorry. You
know I just kind of said

things I didn't mean.

You know how
things bunch up on us.

Come on, Willy. That's okay.

Me and you got a lot of time

to get to know each
other a whole lot better.

DOLLY: I didn't think

you were dumb
enough to k*ll a cop

and bring the heat down on us.

Save your breath, pretty mama.

You're gonna need it.

You...!

I hate to remind you, Willy.

My partner's out there,

and he's gonna
be looking for me.

Uh, would it be all right to
put him on ice for a while?

Maybe they got a point, Willy.

Melvin, I knew you
was short and ugly,

but I never figured
you for yellow too.

Well, don't be stupid, Willy.

If they come in on us,

we got us a
bargaining tool here.

"Us," old man?
Whatcha mean, "us"?

What makes you think
I need you anymore?

Why, after I bury this dude,
we're hightailing out of here.

And I'm taking the booze
and the sugar and Dolly.

And you can stay or
go where you please,

but you ain't coming with us.

Now, I want all of y'all
to load this here booze

in the back of this here truck.

And that goes for you
too, Mr. Secret Policeman.

Melvin.

Now, you cover them
real good, little brother.

[♪♪♪]

We should never
have left Kentucky.

Why did you?

Pa's health, mainly.

Twenty years in those
mines just wrecked his lungs.

Wasn't he brewing
in Kentucky too?

Sure. Loads of folks do.

And it's something
we all took pride in too.

You oughta tell that
to your hired help.

Hey!

Knock off this sneaky talk.

You come on with me, Dolly.

I ain't going nowhere with you.

Hey, you try something, boy.

I double-dog dare
you to try something.

Then Melvin won't
have to find a place

to bury you outside.

He can do it right here.

[MOTORBIKE APPROACHING]

It's the other one.

MELVIN: Another cop?

I ain't gonna have to
k*ll him, am I, Willy?

Stop your sniveling.

Put him off, little brother.

Just put him off.

Buy us a little time so
we can get out of here.

Now, if you wanna keep
breathing a little while longer...

just don't do no hollering.

[♪♪♪]

Howdy. Howdy.

Sure is a hot day out
to be walking your hog.

Yeah, it sure is.

I think somebody stole
my bright red pickup.

It's a Ford. It's got big
heavy-duty wheels on it.

You seen it?

No, ain't been a vehicle
of any kind through here

in a month of Sundays.

Heh, we're sort of
out of the way here.

I'm gonna make a break
for it. He'll try to k*ll you.

He already decided to do that.
Why don't we just all jump him?

Then he'll k*ll you to boot.

If you can distract him...

that might give
me the edge I need.

Oh, I know how to do that.

You might try Glenn Canyon.

Yeah, I tried Glenn Canyon.

Tried Healy Canyon,
tried Willow Road.

Well, I don't know
what to tell you, friend.

Other than keep poking around.

[MOTOR STARTS]
Yeah, thanks a lot, huh.

Hey, Dolly. What you doing?

What does it look like?

You ripped all the
buttons off my shirt.

Oh, here, let me help you.

[g*nsh*t]

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

DOLLY: You okay?
STARSKY: Oh, yeah.

[GRUNTING]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Well...

looks like we found the still.

[YELLS]

What's the matter? My leg.

Oh.

[HUTCH HUMMING]

Will you stop that?

Please.

I thought you
liked country music.

The only thing I
like about country...

are country girls like Dolly.

Oh...

And she is in Kentucky now.

Yeah, well, she'll be
happier there, Starsk.

Also, I think she and her
old man are pretty lucky

the judge didn't
throw them in the joint.

Hey, like I told the judge,
they saved our lives.

Yeah, I want to
thank you for that.

Also wanna thank you for
making me look like a jerk

in front of the jury

by telling them I
missed the hit man

and ran head-on into the still.

Well, if it hadn't been for you,

I'd be going to a
dance contest tonight

with another of the most
beautiful ladies in the world.

Oh, that Roxy is hot stuff.

Deep almond eyes...

k*ller lashes.

Those long, sexy legs and
that Ava Gardner mouth.

Mm. Oof.

Hey, when did you meet her?

Uh, well, just a
couple hours ago.

She stopped by here
to see you, then, uh...

Huh?

But you were at the doctor's.

[SIGHS]

She must feel
terrible about tonight.

Ah, not really. In fact,
she's found herself a...

A new partner.

Really? Yeah. I
gotta pick her up

in about an hour.

You?

You? Hey, wait. Wait a second.

You don't even
know how to foxtrot.

Starsky, she doesn't know that.

No, wait a minute.
Come back here.

Hey, hey!

Say, you wouldn't mind

if I used your little
black pumps, would you?

Starsk...

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]
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