04x08 - Dandruff

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Starsky & Hutch". Aired: April 30, 1975 –; May 15, 1979.*
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Streetwise Detective David Starsky partners up with a more intellectual partner, Kenneth 'Hutch' Hutchinson, to protect citizens and patrol the streets of Bay City.
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04x08 - Dandruff

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LAUGHTER]

[GRUNTS]

Ha-ha! Well, I've
lived with it... Oh!

[LAUGHING] I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's all right. Oh,
you got yourself all wet.

I've lived with this
hairdo for so many years,

I'm beginning to
wonder whether it is time

for a change, Mr., uh...?

Marlene. Mr. Marlene.
Oh, Mr. Marlene.

That is $72.

Just sign it.

You look lovely, my dear.

This is the real
you, Bernadette.

Oh, uh, Bernice.

[♪♪♪]

[STARSKY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[EXAGGERATED FRENCH
ACCENT] It would be so much fun.

What?

Hee. When you start
working, it will be much fun.

It will be so much fun.

[LAUGHING]

Mr. Marlene, darling. Yes?

Can you spare me a moment?

Why, oh, of course,
uh, Mrs. Zuckerman.

Bernice, uh. Bernice.

Oh, thank you. Oh.

He'll be right back.

Yes. Oh, yes.

[LAUGHS] Yes, of course I will.

Yes? Mr. Hutchinson,

when I allowed you and
your partner to work here

in my salon,
undercover, as you call it,

I was performing what I
believed to be my civil duty.

Oh, and we bless you for it...

However, I must make
one thing crystal clear.

Business is business.

And right now your
partner, Mr. Starsky...

Ah-ah. Shhh.

Mr. Tyrone.

Mr. Tyrone is 40 minutes late.

Is this true? Well, good grief.

Well, I'm sure he's
probably on his way.

But if not, I will speak
to him personally,

you have my word on that.

The moment he arrives.

I think you are absolutely right

that this kind of tardiness
cannot be tolerated.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Unless, of course,
the delay is caused

by some, uh, official business.

Of course, if it's
official business.

I mean, there's no one who
will cooperate more than I will.

After all, when your
Captain Dobey came in here,

and he asked me if I was
willing to... To have you here,

to watch the hotel
and all that, I said,

"Why, of course, it's
every citizen's duty."

Eh... Eh...

Later, okay? What'd you say?

I have to go to work.

What?

I have to go to work.

Later, okay?

I said, "I will cooperate..."

[PHONE RINGS]
Would you get that?

I believe in cooperating
with the police in every...

Beauty salon.
Mr. Marlene speaking.

Mr. Marlene, please.

This is Mr. Marlene.
A citizen's right.

And not only that, law
and order Say no more.

Is what made this
country strong...

Tyrone? You naughty boy.
Where have you been hiding?

Mrs. Zuckerman
is just fit to be tied,

and I don't blame
her one teeny little bit.

Somebody stabbed...

Who was that? It's for me.

Oh.

Mmm. Mr. Marlene. Yeah?

Put your act in the closet.

Uh-oh. What? What?

I said, put your
act in the closet.

There is a guy out here
with two weapons in his belt

and very darty eyes.

Oh.

STARSKY: And even as we speak,

he's moving towards
the cashier's office.

Yeah, I'm on my way. Of course.

[♪♪♪]

[NORMAL VOICE] Hey!

[♪♪♪]

You!

[YELLING]

[PANTING]

[♪♪♪]

I don't care about that.

Your orders were very
simple and very explicit:

Stay buried in the
beauty parlor, period.

Getting yourself involved
with that arrest was dumb.

Probably the dumbest
thing you've ever done.

Please take it easy.

Lookit, all we know
about this undercover

is that there may or
may not be a jewelry heist

coming down in that hotel.

We act instinctively.

Sometimes impetuously.

Look, why don't you just
fill us in on this master thief,

the guy called the Baron.

Now, Scotland Yard
feels that the Baron,

whose infamous
reputation precedes him,

is gonna pay a
visit to our city,

particularly to the hotel

where you two are
practicing your culture.

His express purpose is to
steal the Belvedere diamonds.

Hm? A courier's gonna bring 'em

to that hotel where
you're working.

The sale is gonna take
place in less than 48 hours.

Who is this Baron?
What's he look like?

No one knows.

No pictures, no prints,
no name, nothing.

Makes it kind of tough, huh? Mm.

Now, Scotland Yard says
these are the only cigars

the Baron smokes.

I want you to get to know 'em.

Smoke 'em, eat 'em, chew
'em, stick 'em in your pocket.

I don't care what
you do with 'em.

That's the only clue you got.

Corona Superbas.

Yeah? Yeah.

All right,

back to your poodle cuts.

[♪♪♪]

CABBIE: That'll be 9.80, mister.

MAN: Here's a 20. Keep it.

Oh, uh, have a cigar.

CABBIE: A cigar?

MAN: A Corona Superba.

That'll be $217.

You look lovely, my dear.

Mr. Tyrone!

I have been waiting for you.

There is a call for you for
a pedicure in Room 1229.

Take it. Please.

You still have that
ladder? Give it to...

[EXAGGERATED FRENCH
ACCENT] No! It is my ladder.

The call is for a pedicure.

Okay.

My customers are not acrobats.

[WHISTLING]

[♪♪♪]

Afternoon.

Oh, uh, ahem.

Yes, I was, uh, simply
browsing for some cigars.

A little something to counteract
the permanent wave solution?

I beg your pardon?

You're a hairdresser, right?

Well, how would you know that?

A little game I
play. Sniff and Tell.

Bleach, shampoo, conditioner.

I don't mean to be
nosey. Get the pun?

Yes, I catch the
pun. Nosey, sniffy...

Cigars, cigars, cigars.

I... I've got the
biggest selection

this side of the street.

Mm-hmm. Uh,
listen, would you...?

Would you happen
to have something

in a Superba, Corona Superba?

Superbas.

A moment.

Pretty pricey, I'm afraid.

But the best money can buy,
unless you have a connection

that can smuggle you
out some Havanas.

Um, here's a 10.

You wanna keep the change?

For what?

I need a favor.

[WHISPERS] Name it.

Well, listen, I would
be very, very curious...

I'm sorry, I didn't
catch your name.

Leo.

Leo. Of course it is.

I would be very
curious to know, Leo,

if anyone else
should come by here

looking for Superba
Corona Superbas.

And if so, would
you give me a call

at the, uh, beauty salon?

Ask for Mr. Marlene.

Marlene?

Mister.

Yes.

Oh, Leo.

Yes.

You've got to be a Leo.

How did you know that?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[SPEAKING FRENCH GIBBERISH]

Doesn't that feel nice?

[EXAGGERATED FRENCH
ACCENT] Oh, but it does.

I've been waiting for this
since yesterday morning...

but the Baron is so demanding
in his need for attention.

The Baron?

Silly, isn't it?

But that's what he
calls himself. Oh.

And who am I to argue with
the kind of money he spends?

Where is the...? The Baron?

Well, now? Oui.

He's here, taking a bath.

In the meantime,
I might as well...

Uh...

I'll be right back.

Okay.

I promise.

What's wrong?

Shh.

Police.

[♪♪♪]

[NORMAL VOICE] This is a bust.

General.

Good to see you, old boy.

Are you the Baron?

All right. You be the Baron.

But remember, I
thought of it first.

[♪♪♪]

MAN [GRAVELLY
VOICE]: Close it, please.

Hey! Hey, what gives?

What's with this
third-degree routine?

My preference,
if you don't mind.

And if we do?

Then you may leave.

Now.

Baron, you pay...

we play.

Excellent.

There is an envelope
taped to the door.

Do you see it?

Yeah.

Take it.

My instructions are enclosed.

When you have completed them,
you will receive your payment.

Ten thousand dollars.

Do you understand?

When money talks,
we always understand.

One final item.

I have reason to believe

that there may be
undercover police

posing as either guests
or employees of this hotel.

If they should
interfere with your work,

I expect that you may
find it necessary to...

Waste them?

It'll be a pleasure, Baron.

You're very understanding.

Ciao.

[♪♪♪]

WOMAN: So I said,
"What year were you born?"

And he said, "1949."

Well, 1-9-4-9 adds up to 23.

Now, two and three is
five. I happen to be an eight.

And fives and eights are about
as far apart as you can get.

See, numbers don't lie.

If you think about it, numbers
are the only pure thing left

on this whole entire earth.

One, two, three,
four, five, six...

[GASPS]

[FRENCH ACCENT] I
have a problem. Oh, yes?

You know that cutie I
was working on? Yes.

Complaining her
hair was too soft.

So, what did you do?

I filled it full of conditioner,

and I stuffed her
up under the dryer.

Do you think it'll work?

Not on her, but it'll
look good on a sheep.

[BURBLING]

You think she's had enough?

Why don't you ask her?

No, her.

Oh! Oh, oh.

Seven, eight, nine, 10.

Gosh, you must be a six.

[WOMAN GIGGLES]

[WOMAN SHRIEKING]

Oh, what have they done to me?!

[SHRIEKING] Uh, somebody.
Somebody get that phone.

Somebody... Just sit there
and let it dry, sweetheart.

Ah, beauty salon,
Mr. Marlene speaking.

It's about the Superbas.

Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes.

Do you have a
customer? Uh, uh, yes.

He called down for a full box.

A hundred and
seventy-five bucks.

Uh-huh. Well, what
does he...? What does...?

What does he want you
to do, deliver it to his room?

No. He wants me to
deliver them to the Cabaret.

You wanna play delivery boy?

Yes, I'd love to. Love to.

[SHRIEKING CONTINUES]

Look at my hair!
Look at my hair!

You two! You two!
What have you done?!

I trusted you! I trusted you!

ZUCKERMAN: I
will take care of it.

[♪♪♪]

[WHISTLING]

[FRENCH ACCENT]
There is nobody in this room.

MAN: Freeze!

Uh-huh.

You get the feeling
we've been set up, huh?

Mm.

Sudden moves would be dangerous.

Come.

I think he wants us.

I think so.

STARSKY: Thank you.

Far enough.

Names?

Uh, uh, this is
T-Ty-Ty. Mr. T-Tyrone.

And this is my
friend and compatriot,

Monsieur Marlene.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

And the fellow on
the drums is Cherie.

Hello, Cherie.

Oh!

Six. You are finished.

Oh, boy.

[GRUNTING]

Goodbye.

So long.

Well, who do you think I am?

STARSKY: That is
a very good question.

Who are you?

What'd he say?

He said,

[FRENCH ACCENT] "Who are you?"

I'm Buddy Owens,

hotel security.

Who the hell are you, anyway?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, um...

We're here undercover.

Oh.

A couple of hairdressers.

I didn't know you
were gonna be here.

Nobody told me about it.

Nobody told us about you.

We came here looking
for a box of cigars.

I ordered those cigars.

You didn't. Yeah.

I told Leo to keep me
posted if anybody bought

any of those Superbas.

He said one of you guys did.

The guy who calls
himself Mr. Marlene.

Leo also told me that
Mr. Marlene is no hairdresser.

His hands are too tough.

Oh, he did. He said
that? That's right.

Ha-ha! Well, he's a
smart cookie. Uh-huh.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What exactly do you know
about Superba Corona Superbas?

Oh, what do I know?
I'll tell you what I know.

They're the only brand of
cigar that the Baron smokes.

The Baron? That's right.

You didn't think I knew
about the Baron, did you, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

Let me tell you something.

I have to arrange
security for a diamond sale

in this hotel in 36 hours.

If I wasn't worrying
about the Baron,

I wouldn't be very good
at my job, would I? Ha-ha!

So, what do you say we all
start working together, huh?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Tyrone.

[GRUMBLES]

Marlene.

Marlene.

Yeah.

Call me Buddy.

[♪♪♪]

The diamond sale's scheduled
to take place in the vault

in the cashier's office.

Well, that's swell. So, what
are we doing down here?

Well, the, uh, alarm and
security system for the vault

is operated by a computerized,
uh, circuit board here

that I thought maybe you
might wanna see, huh?

Hey, uh, Marty?

How's it going there, pal?

Marty ain't working this
shift. His wife's got the flu.

Marty, uh...

Marty...

Marty doesn't have a wife.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTS]

You let them get
away, didn't you?

[HUFFING]

[♪♪♪]

[DIALS PHONE]

[PHONE RINGS] Yeah.

[NORMAL VOICE] This is I.

How you doing, Baron?

Progress report?

U.C.

I beg your pardon?

Under control.

Delightful.

Now, phase two?

You got it, Bar.

Well, they certainly destroyed
the vault's security system,

didn't they?

So... Hm?

We don't use the vault.

No, we don't use the vault.

Uh, all we have left is
the, uh, four tower suites.

One here, one here,
one here and here.

[FRENCH ACCENT] What if...?

Uh-huh...

What if the Baron

is just throwing up
a smoke screen?

Uh-huh. Hm?

Maybe he doesn't really care
where the sale's being held.

I'm not following you.

He means,

[CLEARS THROAT]

if the Baron should show
up as one of the buyers.

Oh, no, no, no, I don't
think that's possible.

You see, the... The two buyers
and the, uh... And the courier

have identifying objects
which they will be carrying,

and I will be able
to identify them.

Just in case. Mm-hmm.

Just in case.

What if we get one
of our own guys?

"Gays"? "Guys."

Oh.

A guy to impersonate
a guy who buys. Hm?

Just to make a little
business on the side.

Would that be possible?

Oh, yeah, sure. You
mean, a diamond groupie.

That's possible. Anything's
possible. It's happened before.

But where are you gonna
find someone to impersonate

an international diamond
seller or buyer at this late date?

Right this way, Your Excellency.

I'm sure we're going
to be able to give you

the finest hair care available.

But I do wish that you
would allow me to give you

to one of our more
experienced technicians.

[ENGLISH ACCENT] You are very kind,
dear lady, but I shall require the services

of Mr. Marlene and Mr. Tyrone,
who come highly recommended.

HUTCH: I'll see you about 5.

Well, here they are.

Ho. Peace. Shalom.

I am Prince Nairobi

and I am honored
to be in the presence

of artists of such
great stature.

Have a seat. Oh,
thank you, thank you.

You are welcome, prince.

[NORMAL VOICE]
Quit hamming it up.

You asked for the services
of a royal African potentate,

so, what you see
is what you get.

Huggy, just cut the Oxford
jive. We don't need you in here.

We need you out there
mingling with the couriers.

To what end, might I ask?

If we knew that, we
wouldn't need you.

Would we?

[WHISTLING]

Hello. Nice to see
you. Going down?

[GRUNTS]

[YELLS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Where is, um...?

Mr., uh...

Mr. Ty-Ty. Yeah, Mr. Ty-Ty.

Mr. Tyrone...

Mr. Tyrone is, uh...

Well, he short-circuited
one of the dryers

and fried one of
his customer's hair.

Mrs. Zuckerman stayed to
have a few words with him.

So how you feeling, buddy boy?

How's it look like I feel?

You'll be all right.

If they wanted you
dead, you'd be dead.

Oh, they were very considerate.

Couple of warm and
wonderful people.

Come here. I wanna
tell you something, okay?

Look, tomorrow at
noon, I'm meeting

with the Belvedere
courier and the two buyers.

Now, remember what I told you?

They are carrying
identifying codes.

Something that
only I will recognize.

I recognize all
three, understand?

I'm the only one.

Now, as soon as I am sure

that these guys are
who they claim to be,

I'm gonna make an announcement

as to where the sale
will take place and when.

Why don't we just...?

Why don't we postpone
the whole thing?

We can't do that. The
buyers are on their way.

This is big business. You
understand? Big business!

[♪♪♪]

Oh.

WOMAN [ON
INTERCOM]: Dr. Ridgeway,

you're wanted in Pediatrics.

Dr. Ridgeway, you're
wanted in Pediatrics.

Oh, doctor, I must be
walking in my sleep. I'm sorry.

The night shift
can do that to you.

You had better get some rest.

HUTCH: Don't you
think a nice bouffant style

would work
wonderfully, Mr. Tyrone?

[FRENCH ACCENT] No,
no, no. It's so terribly ordinaire.

Oh, ordinary.

Oui.

I think perhaps it would
be to everyone's benefit

if we got to know
these two ladies

a little bit better

before we redesign
their tresses.

Personally, I rather like
what they're wearing.

No, I mean their tresses.

HUTCH: Oh, tresses!
What a wonderful idea.

I personally happen to know
a little bistro just off the lo...

STARSKY: Do you see what I see?

Afraid so.

Excuse me, girls.

This is a beauty
parlor, gentlemen.

Not a singles bar. Yes.

Yes, ma'am.

Now you, there's a
call for a shampoo

and set in room 1232. Goodbye.

And you. The rinse sinks
need cleaning. Now move it.

Yes, ma'am.

And you too.

Sasha, number three, please.

WOMAN: Now, it's
okay. HUTCH: Yes.

I'll be Vivian, the
traveling saleslady.

HUTCH: Vivian.

VIVIAN: Vivian Vivacious.
HUTCH: Yes, you are so...

VIVIAN: And you can
be the farmer's son.

HUTCH: Do I get a name?

VIVIAN: Oh, I'm only
in town for one night.

HUTCH: Oh, 24 little hours.

[MOANING]

VIVIAN: You don't object to
aggressive women, do you?

HUTCH: Well, no, of course
not. As long as they're gentle.

VIVIAN: Oh, I won't hurt you.

HUTCH: Would you
mind getting off my foot?

HUTCH: Thank
you. VIVIAN: Better?

HUTCH Just here
for the evening, huh?

VIVIAN: Just down for the...
HUTCH: Perhaps we could

maybe get down to business, huh?

VIVIAN: Goes with pleasure.

HUTCH: Oh, pleasure.

[KNOCKS]

Ow!

I...

MAN: Hey, Viv,

what'd you do
with my pinkie ring?

Pinkie ring?

Oh, that's Harry.
Don't worry about him.

Harry? He's leaving soon.

Me too. Oh, no, no, no, don't.

No, now don't you
be a naughty boy.

[GIGGLING]

Eh, who's the fussy guy?

HUTCH: Uh, uh...

H-hi there.

I'm, uh, I'm Mr. Marlene

from, uh, the beauty
salon downstairs.

He's gonna do something to me.

To her hair, a
treatment. Split ends.

I have to condition
it and set it and...

[LAUGHING]

Oh, boy! You guys.

He doesn't mind you lying around

on the floor with strange men?

He trusts me.

Trusts you?
Mm-hmm. That's right.

Trust... Vivian.

Uh... Vivian. Oh,
Vivian. Vivian, no.

How is my baby boy?

I'm gonna be very upset. Vivian.

That'll be 147.50. And
you do look lovely, my dear.

Mr. Marlene, I
gotta talk to you.

Shh.

Tyrone. Tyrone. Lie down.

The courier and two
buyers just got here

about a half an hour ago

and all four of us are
having a nice quiet drink

down in the Cabaret.

How did you arrange that?

That's my business.

But what happened
down there is yours.

Why, what happened?

One of them just hit
the deck like somebody

slipped a sh*t of cyanide
into his sarsaparilla.

After you. I'm not...

Monsieur, please, I've
done all kinds of hair.

Round hair, skinny hair...

[♪♪♪]

I am afraid this gentleman

is going to need
further attention.

I'll call an ambulance.

Where is the bartender?

MAN: He's calling an ambulance.

HUGGY: The same bartender
that made him the drink?

MAN: Yes. Yes, he
should be back shortly.

HUGGY: Don't count on it.

[♪♪♪]

HUTCH: Came to with
a hell of a headache.

STARSKY: Yeah, and an attaché
case with a bug under the handle.

A what? Yeah.

The Baron got to
Davidowsky before we did.

So he could put an ear on him.

Well, I hope you sent
it to the lab for analysis.

Nope, we left it right
where the Baron put it,

and we didn't tell
Davidowsky it was there.

Would you mind telling
me why you did that?

Sure. It's pretty obvious
that the Baron wants

to know real bad where
that sale's gonna take place.

And we are gonna
tell him. Right.

And then we're gonna
be there to meet him.

Right.

Mm? Yeah.

[FRENCH ACCENT] Monsieur
Davidowsky. How are you?

I'll be all right, thank you.

STARSKY: Good.

Hi there. How are you?

Pleasure to see you again.

Got your bone?
Thank you very much.

You feeling better, buddy?

Mm.

Oops.

Uh, nurse, give me a towel.

Not on my head,
on the table, please.

Thank you.

BUDDY: Thank you very much.

All right.

Now,

to make sure that everybody here

belongs here in this room,

uh, when I ask for your gift

or your code, I want you

to bring it to me.

Uh...

[CLEARS THROAT]

Mr. Davidowsky?

Davidowsky.

[♪♪♪]

Watch. Watch.

Mr. Van Dam?

Oh.

Glasses.

BUDDY: Glasses.

Which one of you is Mr. Adachi?

I should...

Bud.

Bud?

Bud.

Flower?

Flower.

Nairobi.

BUDDY: Nairobi.

Mr., uh...

Prince.

Mr. Prince.

Bone.

Bone.

Good.

Now that...

You all right?

Welcome to the
U.S. of A., gentlemen.

[LOCK CLICKS]

[GASPS]

Well, you did it again, doctor.

But this time you scared
the daylights out of me.

[LAUGHS]

I can't seem to kick the habit.
Promise not to tell on me?

Scout's honor. I'll come
back for what I was after later.

The patient's not critical. Oh.

Enjoy your cigar.

[MUMBLES]

DOBEY: Let's
get on with it, huh?

We don't have
a lot of time left.

BUDDY: Okay. All anyone
here needs to know is this:

The sale's gonna be held
in the north Tower Suite

sixty minutes from now.

I suggest you all
get on your way.

[♪♪♪]

HUTCH: How does the
auction work, Mr. Davidowsky?

The sale is really quite simple.

I am the courier.

I represent the owners of
the Belvedere Diamonds.

The other gentlemen are buyers

for two of the largest
diamond houses in the world.

And the Belvedere
diamonds are in this box.

[NORMAL VOICE] That
looks more like a pouch.

In the diamond
trade, we call it a box.

Yeah, but it's
really a... A box.

Well, fine. Whatever.

Um, now, look, what we
wanna do is we wanna put

a different kind of stone
into your... Your pouch.

Box. Box. Starsk.

Yeah. Uh, this
here is called a bug.

That looks like
a sending device.

Yes, well we call
it a bug. A bug.

Well, that's very
imaginative of you,

but I'm afraid I can't
go along with that.

Why not?

Because there's a
sanctity to our box.

And a most cardinal
law about our box

is that nothing
foreign goes in it.

Well, let me ask you a question.

If you were to put something
foreign into your box,

would it then become a pouch?

[SIGHS]

Do as you will.

Thank you. Thank you.

HUGGY: In East Africa we
have many, many diamonds

in our royal treasury,

and we would love to have these.

HUTCH: Now, this elevator here
provides the only access to the room.

On a given signal at
the end of the auction,

the elevator will come up.

You will be able to get
on and go to the main floor.

These various doors here
should not concern any of you,

as they are bedroom doors,

and the fire stairs on
each landing are guarded.

Gentlemen, is that clear?

ALL: Perfectly.

Shall we begin?

[♪♪♪]

Well, you gentlemen
look pleased.

VAN DAM: I've been,
for such a long time,

an admirer of the
Belvedere collection.

Exquisite.

Exquisite.

[BOTH CHATTERING]

Commence the bidding.

Three million.

DAVIDOWSKY: Modest.

I'd say almost

an insult to the collection.
Monsieur Adachi?

Three million, one.

I shall then sincerely
offer 3 million, 500.

Three million, eight.

Four million!

VAN DAM: Five million.

[SIGHS]

Five million.

Five million.

[SIGHS]

Five million.

The Belvedere Diamonds

now have a new home in Holland.

Congratulations
on your acquisition,

Mr. Van Dam.

Thank you, Your
Excellency. Thank you.

DAVIDOWSKY: Monsieur Van Dam,

I hate to see them leave America

but I must say
your final bid was,

nevertheless, quite consoling.

ADACHI: Not to
this broker's heart.

Exquisite.

Exquisite.

Exquisite, exquisite.

In the pouch, please,
Your Excellency.

VAN DAM: Well, gentlemen,

I expect you all to come
and have the last drink

in my suite, uh, to
commemorate this great occasion.

HUGGY: I have to go to
the airport immediately.

VAN DAM: What's the big rush?

DAVIDOWSKY: Oh, by the
way, Kenny, how are those

lovely quintuplets of yours?

They've got the Asian flu.

What else?

[BUYERS CHATTERING]

VAN DAM: I want
you all in my suite.

Gentlemen, gentlemen.
Excuse me, your access.

Would you hold
the elevator, please?

Our access elevator.

Your security was
most appreciated.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Thank you.

Um, tot siens. Tempus fugit.

What does that
mean? I don't know.

Sayonara. Sayonara.

Sayonara.

See you later, bro.

That man had a g*n. Captain!

Yeah, Starsky?

Captain, look, the Baron!

He's on his way down.
We put a bug in the pouch.

You can follow
him on the scanner.

Roger, we got your signal.

Now, stay with us.

Fire stairs. Gone.

STARSKY: You
still picking him up?

Loud and clear.

It looks like it's gonna...

It's the 16th floor!
We're on our way!

[♪♪♪]

Please don't move, gentlemen.
Please don't open your eyes.

Starsky, Hutch. Yeah, captain?

He's still on the 16th floor.
South side, near the center.

[♪♪♪]

All right, captain,
we're on the 16th floor.

You got any clues?
A lot of rooms up here.

He's somewhere
on the 16th floor.

Near the elevator.

What? You wouldn't believe it.

Police! [WOMAN SCREAMS]

What the hell's going on?

He's moving!

Down. Down. He's moving down.

He can't be moving down!

He's moving down, I tell you.

I don't think he can be
moving down in this hotel.

That's it! What?

He's not inside the hotel.
He's outside the hotel.

Outside?

We really are police!

I don't care who you are,
I'm calling the manager!

Cute.

Real cute. WOMAN:
Open up that elevator!

How do I know you're the police?

Hit the button.
I hit the button.

Again. I'm only
asking for one elevator.

Come on!

Captain.

I hear you.

We got him. DOBEY: Where?

Right where we want him.

We're coming in. Here we come.

[♪♪♪]

Move!

Well, well, well, look at this.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: Mission One.

WOMAN [OVER RADIO]: Mission
One, would you standby there?

MAN: Mission One, 10-4.

WOMAN: Attention, all
units, the alarm 1940 Carlson...

Ow! Ah! Come on,
open it up. Open it up.

Ah-ha!

Well, at least that worked.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

All right, which one
of you is the Baron?

Come on, speak up,
one of you is the Baron.

We got the wrong man, cap.

Don't tell me he got away
with the diamonds too?

Okay, we won't.

But you better
tell me something.

And make it fast.

Here come the prince.
Here come the prince.

Captain...

Prince Nairobi here made
a little switcheroo upstairs,

and while the
Baron did get away,

he also got away with just
a bunch of artificial cut glass.

I don't wanna hear it!

All I wanna know is,
where are the diamonds?

Where are the diamonds?

Where are the diamonds?

With the good guys.

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

You know something, Tyrone?

Oui?

I simply would
like to congratulate

this lovely lady for
her contributions

to public service.

HUTCH: You're
wonderful, sweet Hilda.

[LAUGHS]

You know, sometimes
I think that Americans,

in this glorious nation of
ours, all too often forget

that in these frenetic times,

a still, small voice
can still be heard.

And you gentlemen,

you gentlemen have
made it possible for me

to be a part of the workings

of this wonderful,

wonderful system of justice

in this country.

And for that I thank you,

and I thank you and you and you

and you.

[FRENCH ACCENT]
Hilda. HUTCH: Please.

Hm? Blow out the candle.

Oh.

STARSKY: Very good.

Why aren't you
back at the office?

Because we are here.

Here's a present for you.

Oh, la... HILDA:
I love presents.

Oh, it's cigars.
STARSKY: Oh, good.

They're just two.

Oh, good, one for me and...

One for me.

There's a note.

"Officers Starsky
and Hutchinson:

"A tip of the hat for
a game well played.

"Look forward to a rematch

"and trust you'll smoke
these in good health.

"Respectfully yours,

the Baron."

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]
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