04x13 - The Golden Angel

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Starsky & Hutch". Aired: April 30, 1975 –; May 15, 1979.*
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Streetwise Detective David Starsky partners up with a more intellectual partner, Kenneth 'Hutch' Hutchinson, to protect citizens and patrol the streets of Bay City.
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04x13 - The Golden Angel

Post by bunniefuu »

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

[MOUTHING DIALOGUE]

[♪♪♪]

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

One, two... Hammer.

Three...

Wanna work on the slam?

Who, me or you?

Me? My grandmother invented it.

I'm thinking about you.

Maybe you need the practice.

What, you think I need it?

[CHUCKLES]

[GROWLS]

It's up to you, you know. Huh?

Doesn't make any matter to
me. It's no skin off my nose.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

Let's just do it, all right?

Whatever you say, big fella.

Hey, hey!

Ho!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[YELLS]

[GRUNTS]

HAMMER: Hey, Buzzy.

What was that you were
saying about someone

needing practice in the slam?

I didn't catch that.
Was it me or you?

Give me a hand, you
jelly-bellied missing link.

Sure. Only because
you talk nice to me.

You're okay. Thanks, pally.

[SILENCED g*nsh*t]

[GROANS]

[♪♪♪]

I've been sh*t.

[DOOR CREAKS]

[STARSKY SINGING SCAT]

[CHATTER]

Good morning, everybody.

What's this?

A catalogue for the
fall line of Dino Ferrari.

Mm. Hey.

What?

Check that out.

A catalogue for the
fall line of Cartier.

Yep.

Don't tell me, Starsky,

hit it big at bingo last night.

I sure did.

[CLEARS THROAT]

And this...

[KISSES]

is my winning card.

Why, what is it?
It's just a little note

from Block, Block, Harvey
and Block informing me that...

"You are mentioned...
Mentioned in your uncle's will..."

Who d*ed last week at
the ripe old age of 93.

"You are requested for
the reading of the will."

In three days.

Sorry, Starsk. About what?

About your uncle.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Thank you.

So, uh...

how much was the old buzzard...?

The old man worth?

[SCOFFS]

Ten million dollars.

Ten million dollars,
huh? Yeah. Huh.

Guess you could say you
sort of hit the jackpot, huh?

[LAUGHS] I sure did.

I mean, one week from today,

I'm gonna be
cruising these streets

with a Cartier on my wrist,
a Maserati under my butt...

and leisure on my mind.

I don't see it, Starsk. What?

I just don't see it.

Wait a minute.

What do you mean
you don't see it?

Starsky, it's just
not meant to be.

I mean, it takes all
makes and models

to fill that four-lane
highway we call life.

Sure it does.

Some of us are
Bentleys and Rolls.

That's right.

Some of us are
Cadillacs and Corvettes.

Some of us are,
uh, Dino Ferraris.

And then there
are guys like you.

You two, get in that
Torino and get hot.

Well, you never said
"good morning," captain.

Know where the
Fourth Street Gym is?

Sure, we know it.

Go down there and see a guy

named Buzzy Boone.

Somebody took a sh*t
at him this morning.

In the gym? DOBEY: Right arm.

Small-caliber w*apon.

HUTCH: Any witnesses?

Plenty. But nobody saw
who pulled the trigger.

In fact, nobody heard the sh*t.

Probably used a sil*ncer.

Probably didn't even use
a g*n. DOBEY: Probably.

Look, I wanna tell
you two something.

If the guilty parties came in
here and gave themselves up,

you two would be out
of a job, wouldn't you?

Now, get on it. Captain...

Ah.

Not until after they've
read the will, huh?

Okay.

[♪♪♪]

[MEN GRUNTING]

You know, I used to work
out in a place like this.

Really? Yeah.

Look at that.

Really brings back those
memories, you know?

U-used to be pretty good too.

No kidding.

Yeah. See that?

See this? Hey.

Yeah.

Look at that.

Awful lot of him
down there, isn't it?

See this?

What's his problem?

I don't know.

[GROWLS] Whoa.

Right. Peace.

See this? Speed bag.

I used to do that.

What?

Do I know you?

Walk a mile for a Camel.

Ah, come on, Jimmy, you
know me better than that.

Sure, w... Yeah... We're
after a little attention,

but, uh, taking a sh*t at
one of my star groaners

is not exactly publicity,
that's attempted m*rder.

MAN: Tell him to drop dead.

He said to tell you
to get out of bed.

No. He knows you're
not in bed, Jimmy.

I think he was
speaking figuratively,

like maybe you should
wake up and, uh,

see that what happened
here deserves a little more

than the usual two
inches on page eight.

Yeah, what do you want?

Detective Sergeant
David Starsky.

This is Detective Sergeant
Kenneth Hutchinson.

We'd like to talk to
you for a few minutes.

What for? So I can hear
from two more mouths

about how sh**ting my wrestlers

is good for selling
tickets but morally wrong?

Pop.

Listen, I'll get back
to you later, okay?

Just do what you can.

Come in.

All right, goodbye.

I'm Candy Reese.
Kenneth Hutchinson.

David Starsky.

How you doing? Tommy Reese.

Buzzy Boone. You know him
as The Golden Angel. My fiancé.

Don't take it personally, Buzzy.
We never heard of them either.

Uh, Pop's a little upset.
Well, that's understandable.

Yeah. By who?

Let me ask you something:

Do you know who I am?

Sure.

He used to be on television.
He used to call the matches.

Wrestling's answer
to Howard Cosell.

TOMMY: I ought to be
grateful for little favors, right?

You're only half wrong.

Which half?

I'm still on TV,

I'm still calling the matches.

Oh. Sorry.

I guess I haven't been
keeping up with wrestling lately.

Yeah.

You and 10 million others.

Ratings aren't too hot, huh?

You wanna know
how bad things are?

I'll tell you how
bad things are.

I had a call from a sports hack
who heard about the sh**ting.

He wanted to know if Buzzy
was trying to commit su1c1de.

That's how bad things are.

Pop, take it easy. Buzzy,
tell them what happened.

Well, like I told
the other cops,

I was in the gym

working out some gags
with Hammerlock Grange.

Somebody took a sh*t at me.

I think it came from the,
uh, rear exit back there.

I don't know why they
did it, but you tell me.

Well, do you have any enemies?

Me? No.

All my fans love me. I
always play the good guy.

What about phone calls,
letters, threatening remarks?

Anything like that?

Good guys don't get threats.

Talk to Hammerlock
Grange, talk to the bad guys.

He gets three dozen
threats every week.

Guys that are gonna
smash his face in.

They're gonna chew his ears off.

And those are the nice letters.

No. You can't take
them too seriously.

I think it's about
time somebody did.

Before somebody gets k*lled.

Yeah. That's your
department, isn't it?

Huh?

[GRUNTING]

How long you known Buzzy?

A long time.

He's been married
for eight years.

Divorced two.

If you knew his ex-wife...
Camille's her name.

Dizzier than a jailhouse mouse.

HUTCH: What about the fans?

I mean, they get pretty
worked up, don't they?

Sure, but they're faithful.

I mean, they're all we got.

There isn't a
single one out there

who'd like to see us lose
any more than we have.

You really love
this sport, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

Partly because it...
Pop's been at it 30 years.

Partly because I'm a promoter.

I mean, that's my
job. It's what I do.

And because of Buzzy.
I'm crazy about him.

But mainly because there
are a lot of good people

involved in a sport

that's as stale as
yesterday's mashed potatoes.

And you're the one that's
gonna breathe a little life into it?

Or let it fade away
with some dignity.

Candy, what's the possibility

that whoever fired the sh*t

this morning was just trying
to buy you guys a headline?

[SCOFFS] I hope not.

The way our press
has been lately,

they're gonna have
to k*ll somebody

before we get off the back page.

Did Buzzy have any bad habits?

Had he been in any trouble?

Well, he plays the
ponies once in a while,

gets in over his head.

Is he in over his head now?

[SIGHS]

Kind of.

But Stella's bailed him out.

Who's Stella?

An old moneylender.

She runs a thrift shop
over on Main Street.

She's bleeding him dry.

Doesn't sound too good.

[♪♪♪]

Hello?

[BELL CHIMING]

Anybody home?

[RINGS]

Afternoon.

My watch could've told me the
same thing without being asked.

And lay off that bell.

Hm? Oh.

Heh. Excuse me.

Mm... [CLEARS THROAT]

Um... Stella, right?

Oh, do I give you
the prize now or later?

Uh, Starsky, David. Police.

All right, what's on
your mind, Curly?

High interest rates.

Usury.

Oh, that's an ugly word.

Well, it's an ugly business.
What would you call it?

Friends in need.

Friends in need. Not bad.

Now, speaking of which,

could you, uh, tell me
about Buzzy Boone?

Golden Angel.

Is that a cartoon?

He's a wrestler.

Sorry.

Nothing, huh? Nothing.

Yeah. Stella. Hm?

Your rear door's blocked.

You don't have a
sprinkling system.

You don't have a fire
extinguisher in evidence.

You got a semiautomatic r*fle...

over there...

that any 5-year-old kid
could make fully a*t*matic

in a matter of minutes.

Any one of these
violations reported...

All right, all right, all right.

So Buzzy's a client
of mine. So what?

How much is he into you for?

About, uh, 1800.

Eighteen hundred? Mm-hm.

[GASPS]

Is he making his payments?

Right on time.

Well, he's lagging
a little bit. Why?

Somebody took a sh*t at him.

So, what are you looking at me?

Dead man don't pay his debts.

I didn't say he was dead.

Clean up your act, Stella.

You got the whole
town talking about you.

[BELL CHIMING]

Clown.

[♪♪♪]

[MAN SKIPPING ROPE]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

HUTCH: So, what
did Ballistics say?

It was a door-triggered
blasting cap.

Just good for a scare, is all.

So, that's the suit The Golden
Angel wears in the ring, huh?

Right down to the mask.

Well, anyway, ten minutes
after this disaster happened,

Buzzy gets a phone
call. From whom?

Couldn't identify the voice,
but he said the real surprise

is gonna be on Saturday night...

when he dies.

Will Buzzy cancel the fight?

No. Why not?

It's an important match between
Buzzy and Hammerlock Grange.

We've been promoting
it for three months.

Costs a lot of money.
Buzzy knows that.

And he knows what it'll cost us

if we have to
cancel the fight too.

If Buzzy gets k*lled,

does he know what
that's gonna cost you?

Okay, uh...

I wanna get a general idea
of how it happened, you know?

I mean, where was, uh,
Buzzy sitting or standing,

and where were you
standing, and like that.

Okay. Right.

I was, uh, right about here.

Right.

And Buzzy was just about there.

Right about here. Yeah.

And then you heard a sh*t?

No, no, not yet.

Oh. What?

Look. You said you wanna
see just what happened,

Right? Right.

Okay. Then I'll show you.

Put your hands out
in front of you like this:

Like this:

Yeah, that's okay.

Okay.

And then what happened?

Then Buzzy said we
should practice the slam.

What's the slam?

Look, you wanna
see how it happened,

or you wanna talk about
it? Which is it gonna be?

I wanna see how it happened.

Okay.

The first thing that
happened was this.

[GRUNTS]

What did you do that for?

You mean, the slam?

Yeah.

That's the thing I did to Buzzy.

Oh.

Give me your hand.

Heh-heh. Has he
gotta be kidding.

Give me your hand.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

What was that?

The sh*t. And Buzzy
went down just like you

and then grabbed his arm.

Oh.

I guess, uh, that was
the way it happened, huh?

Pretty close.

I could probably get closer

if you wanna go
through it again.

You wanna?

I think I got the general idea.

WOMAN: Buzzy was all that I had,

all that I wanted for eight
wonderful years, years.

HUTCH: What happened
to break up the marriage?

WOMAN: Change, change.

Not so much in
Buzzy, but in me, me.

A dozen years ago, when we met,

we were like
parallel lines, lines.

Perfectly matched.

Always together.

And then what happened?

Buzzy was older
by 10 years, years.

All the changes that come to us

had already come to him, him.

And what about you?

The parallel lines
began to separate.

And after a few years,

there was nothing to
hold onto, hold onto.

We began here.

We ended here, here.

Well...

Mrs. Boone, do you
have any regrets?

How can you regret a thing
as natural as change, change?

Can you predict... Mrs...

the path of a vine?

Here today, today.

There tomorrow, there tomorrow.

The next day...

Ah, what about Buzzy, Buzz...?

What about Buzzy?
How did he take this?

I like to think that he
understood, understood.

In his own way.

I like to think we're
still friends, still friends.

Mrs. Boone?

Mrs. Boone?

Mrs. Boone?

I am love.

I am earth.

I am water.

I am goodness. I am goodness.

Mrs. Boone? I am goodness.

Mrs. Boone?

Camille?

Mrs. Boone.

Somebody is
trying to k*ll Buzzy.

Do you understand that?

The light and the
dark are deceptions.

By one, we are shadows.
By the other, ghosts.

But in love, we are solid.

In love, we are true. In love,

there is reason
for all that we do.

Okay, space chicken.

[GRUNTING]

MAN: Buzzy!

[GRUNTING]

[KNOCK]

Come in!

Good morning, kid.

Beautiful morning, isn't it?

Yeah, I guess so.

See the sports section yet?

No. Not yet.

I ought to be cracking
open a bottle of champagne.

Yeah? Why's that?

We made it all the
way to page three.

How about that, huh?

First time we got
within splitting distance

of the first page
since Tony Rocca

won 180 grand back in 1959.

"Wrestler Claims Victory in
Unscheduled Bout With Dummy."

Not exactly what you'd call
your heavyweight reporting, is it?

Do you think I care?

It doesn't matter to
me what they say,

as long as they say something.

[LAUGHS]

I'm damn tired of being ignored.

Four thousand years of a
sport. Did you know that?

What's that? How does
that compare to golf?

How does it compare to tennis
or baseball or even boxing?

We've got a heritage that's
older and bigger and prouder

than all those pill dunkers,

dink artists, horse hiders

and canvas kissers put together.

Well, I think it's high time

we started getting paid
a little respect, don't you?

[LAUGHS] Read it
again. Read it again.

Tommy, there's
something in my locker.

I don't think it's a
dummy this time.

Unless you know one that ticks.

[♪♪♪]

[MURMURING]

[TICKING]

Third one down on
the right hand side.

What do you got? Can't tell.

But I wouldn't wanna be
around when it stops ticking.

Did you call the b*mb
squad? They're on their way.

I want you to clear out the gym.

Why don't we clear out
of here until the b*mb...?

[ALARM RINGING] Get down!

[♪♪♪]

VOICE: Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!
Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!
Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!
Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!
Die Saturday night!

Die Saturday night!
Die Saturday night!

[♪♪♪]

Hit it, baby.

All right.

Hey, Hutch. Now
what is the real deal

with Starsky and
this inheritance thing?

Oh, you heard about it too, huh?

He's telling it all over town.

Well, he's, uh... He's
in the old man's will,

and I think he's
spending more time, uh,

talking about it than
he is on this case.

Huh. 15 million, I would too.

Fif...?

Hey, you sure you
want anything else?

[MOUTH FULL]
Everything's fine, thank you.

Enjoy.

Buzz...

they're talking about canceling
the... The fight Saturday night.

What about you, Candy?
What do you think?

Well, now that it's come
down to this, I don't know.

I really don't know.

We're talking about your life.

HUTCH: Buzzy...

I got a lot of respect
for what you do.

But times change things.

Look at the circus. I
mean, i-i-it's... It's dying.

Vaudeville's dead.

Nightclubs have turned to disco.

And if you think that this
fight on Saturday night

is gonna change or save...

I got news for you, pally.

I don't go in that
ring Saturday night,

Candy and me, neither
one of us have a life.

Wrestling is our life.

And I'm not gonna let
anybody take that away from us.

[♪♪♪]

MAN [OVER
WALKIE-TALKIE]: Get ready.

Lookit, your halo is crooked.

Oh. Well, straighten it
out, Ham, huh? Yeah.

Stand by for air.

[MARCHING BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS]

Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen. Good evening.

This is KBEX,
"Spotlite of Sports."

And this is Smiling Tommy Reese.

[CHUCKLES]

Tonight, an extra-special event.

An exclusive interview

with the wrestling
champion of the world.

The one, the only, Golden Angel.

And the man you've
all learned to hate,

Hammerlock Grange.

As we wait, ladies
and gentlemen,

for the arrival of our
two garrulous grapplers,

let's just take this moment

to ponder the incredible events

these past two days in
the life of The Golden Angel.

One question looms in the minds

of wrestling fans everywhere.

Will the fight go on?

Can the fight go
on...? [SCREAMS]

And here he is now, folks.

Do you want an answer to
that? That avenging Angel...

I'm telling the whole world.

The fight's gonna happen

Saturday night no matter what.

Now, do you hear that out there?

I hear you! Now let
me tell you something.

Ah! Sit down! Sit down!

There ain't nobody
that's dumb enough

to believe all those lies

that we have to listen to.

People taking sh*ts at you.

Putting bombs in your
locker. You hear this, folks?

Calling you up
with death threats.

[LAUGHS]

TOMMY: Sit down! Sit down!

Just a minute there,
Hammerlock. You and I both know

for a fact that the
Angel was sh*t at,

that there was a
b*mb in his locker.

That is the gospel truth.

HAMMERLOCK: Oh,
yeah? You heard that.

And I say that you're a
bigger liar than he is, Tommy.

I'm gonna get you,
you tub of guts.

No matter how many
times they try to k*ll me,

I'm gonna get you. They
hate each other, folks.

They might have to carry me

into that ring on a
stretcher Saturday night,

but I guarantee you
something right now, fat boy:

You're the one!

You're the one that they're
gonna have to carry back out!

TOMMY: Are you willing to swear

right here and now that the
fight will go on, on Saturday?

Is it on? BUZZY:
The fight's still on...

TOMMY: The fight is on.
Just as long as they leave me

TOMMY: You be there,
folks. One leg to stand on,

and one fist to punch that
fat man in the face with.

Two teeth to spit
out in his face!

Oh, they hate each other,
folks. They really hate each other.

BUZZY: The fight is on.
TOMMY: They hate each other.

And I'll promise you
something else, Tommy Reese.

It might take place right here.
I promise you that if I find out

somewhere along the way

that this mush-brained
imitation of an athlete

had anything to do

with the attempts on
my life, then, Tommy,

you better get yourself
a priest ringside,

because Hammerlock's
gonna need him for his last fight.

I'll have him here.
I'll have him here.

Watch out, Hammerlock.
[GROWLS, SCREAMS]

TOMMY: Did you see that, folks?

If I wanted you dead,
Angel... You hear that?

You'd have been in
hell long before now.

Uh, Saturday night, folks.
Nobody accuses me...

The grudge match of the
decade. Of trying to k*ll a man!

You heard it, boys and
girls. You hear what I said?

The grudge match of the
decade. [WRESTLERS GROWL]

Officers, police...
take them away.

Take 'em out. Take 'em out.

You hear me? I want you.

[MARCHING BAND MUSIC RESUMES]

[INAUDIBLE OVER
SCREAMING WRESTLERS]

ladies and gentlemen.

This is Smiling Tommy Reese.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Talk to you later. Bye-bye.

What was that about?

Uh, Candy just got
a call from the station

that's televising
tomorrow night's fight.

And they're expecting
the largest home audience

they've had all year.

Well, that's terrific.

[SIGHS] Hi-ai-ai-ai.

We've got less than 24 hours,

and we do not have
clue number one.

Well, you better do something.

Because if Buzzy's k*lled...

it just means
somebody's done their job,

and we haven't done ours.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[♪♪♪]

We got less than 24 hours.
Now, either we find this k*ller,

or this crackpot
or whoever he is,

or you're gonna go in that ring,

and you're gonna take the
biggest chance of your life.

I'm telling you, I
don't know anybody

that would wanna k*ll me.

[PHONE RINGING]

Trace it? Yeah.

Okay, look...

Don't pick up
till we tell you to.

When you do, keep him
on as long as you can.

You got it?

Let's go.

Yeah, put a trace on a public
phone at the Fourth Street Gym.

Uh... 555-7019.

555-7019. Right.

[RINGING]

[♪♪♪]

Come on.

Now.

Hello?

[g*nshots]

[CANDY SCREAMS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

If you guys got a plan...

I'm ready to hear it.

[♪♪♪]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNT]

[MEN CHATTERING, HAMMER NAILING]

Me and Hammerlock.

You've got to be kidding.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Look, kid, you gotta try
and understand something.

Wrestling isn't all
sport these days.

You know that and
we know that. Yeah.

But what you're
suggesting is crazy.

Unless you can come
up with something better,

that's all we got.

All right. You got it.

But it's your funeral.

Yeah, Tommy...

Shut up.

I said, they got it. Right.

But don't you think we ought
to at least let Hammer in on it?

No. The fewer people that
know about this, the better.

Yeah, but Hammer's gonna
know from the first that it's you.

No. Hammer gets in the ring,

he won't recognize
his own mother.

He goes bananas at
the sound of the bell.

HUTCH: Really?

STARSKY: Uh... Ahem.

Oh.

Did you hear that? Yeah.

Um, this idea of yours... Yeah?

Well, maybe it's not
such a good idea after all.

It'll be a snap.

[BREAKS STICK]

[♪♪♪]

[CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING]

[RINGS]

Ladies and gentlemen.

[BELL RINGS]

Please, please. Good
evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Smiling Tommy Reese,

coming to you live through
the courtesy of KBEX,

and bringing to you the world's
heavyweight championship

wrestling match of the decade.

[CROWD APPLAUDS, CHEERS]

From Macon, Georgia,

weighing in tonight at
347 and one-half pounds,

a giant of a man...

who has won an amazing 346

out of 362 fights.

Possibly the most
notorious figure

in all of professional
wrestling today: [BOOING]

the incredible...

the magnificent...

Hammerlock Grange!

[CROWD BOOING]

[BELL RINGS] TOMMY:
Ladies and gentlemen.

[RINGS]

From Santa Monica, California,

a man whose face has never
been revealed in a wrestling arena

since he began his
remarkable professional career

14 years ago.

The current heavyweight
champion of the world.

Perhaps the most
loved and respected man

in the sport of wrestling today.

Your friend and mine,
The Golden Angel.

[CROWD APPLAUDING, CHEERING]

Don't forget your mask.

Yeah.

[BELL RINGS]

TOMMY: Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen...

your referee for
tonight's fight...

[CROWD BOOS] a
newcomer to the area,

a former middleweight champion
himself from Miami, Florida,

Louie "The Nose" Dicarlo.

[CROWD BOOING]

Stay down.

Have a nice fight, huh?

Oh, sorry.

Tommy, how are you?
It's nice to see you again.

Ladies and gentlemen...

[RINGS]

This will be a one-fall,
no-time-limit match,

the winner being the first man
to pin his opponent's shoulders

to the mat for a count of three,

regardless of how long it might
take, uh, to reach that point.

I always love to see you,
Tommy boy. I say, hiya.

HUTCH: All right, now,

let's get somebody in here

to clean up this, uh,
vegetable garden, huh?

Yeah, that's for
the sportswriters.

Hey, Hutch. I gotta
go to the bathroom.

Well, don't worry about it.
I'll keep you away from him.

You don't understand. I
gotta go to the bathroom.

Don't worry about it.

HUTCH: All right.

All right, gentlemen.

Let's see you out here.

Now, look, gentlemen...

I don't wanna see no
illegal hits with a closed fist.

Like that. What are you doing?

[CHEERS]

I don't wanna see
no nose pulling.

I don't wanna see no biting.

[SCREAMS]

I don't wanna see no
illegal punches with elbows.

Oof!

You understand that?

Yeah, I understand,
but what about him?

All right, gentlemen.

I want you to try to stay
away from the ropes.

I want you to give
the folks a good show.

I want you to go
back to your corners.

And I want you to...

To wait for the bell.

[GROWLS]

Okay, you remember
everything me and Hutch told you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, uh... I do.

Uh... Hey, you
feel a little tense.

Oh, boy.

I think I'll hold
onto this till later.

[RINGS]

Uh... Uh... I...

Oh...

Oh-oh... Oh... Oh.
I get... I gotta go.

I... Watch it... Whoa, hey, huh?

Oh!

[AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING]

HUGGY: You missed me.

HUTCH: All right,
play fair, boys. Play fair.

TOMMY: Like two wild predators,

they stalk each
other around the ring.

Hammerlock, the aggressor.

The Golden Angel,
more cautious...

staking out his territory.

We'll wait until you... Whoa!
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS]

[STARSKY SCREAMS] [GROWLS]

Oh, no! Oh!

[CROWD CHEERS]

Somehow, Hammer
has lost his footing.

And the Angel's back on his
feet and back in the match.

Uh-uh... Official.

[GRUNTING]

Expension. Expension.

Hutch, I got him!

Put the hands up. Whoa!

Come on. Give
him some bad stuff!

HUTCH: Tell... Tell him
to put that man down.

STARSKY: Hutch! Yeah,
yeah, put that man down.

[HAMMERLOCK YELLING]

[BOOING]

Oh... Oh... Oh!

HUTCH: I said,
put that man down.

[SCREAMS] I put him down!

HUTCH: Uh... Oh.

Come on, Angel, move.

[GROANS]

Hutch! Hutch! Over
here. Over here.

Ah!

TOMMY: Mercy, faith

and speak of the devil.

Hammer's got the
champ in an airplane spin,

and it looks like good night,
Irene for the Golden Angel.

[BUZZ]

[SCREAMS] [CROWD BOOING]

One, two...

I'm sorry about
that... three, four, five!

Come on, man,
show me what you got.

No... No!

TOMMY: Champion is
making a comeback...

No! Impostor! [BELL RINGS]

STARSKY: Huh?
TOMMY: Wait a minute.

There's been an interruption.

A second Golden
Angel has appeared.

Get out of here! That
guy is an impostor!

Get out of here! He is a liar!

Get the hell out of
here! Get out of my face!

Oof! MAN: He's an imposter!

Get out of here.

This man is a liar!

This man is a fake!

I am the Golden Angel.
STARSKY: No way!

Can you be the Golden Angel?
No! I am the Golden Angel!

There is a second
Golden Angel in the ring.

There are now two
Golden Angels in the ring.

Smiling Tommy Reese,

I can't work under
these conditions.

Get back in there.
No pictures, please.

[RINGS] Hello? Sorry, he's busy.

STARSKY: I'll show you the proof

that I'm the Golden Angel.

I will prove it now.

If I can point

to the one woman whom I love

dearer than life itself.

If this woman,
who I plan to marry,

can come from the stands...

And when she can point
to me and identify me,

that will be my proof.

How can she possibly
identify a man in a mask?

They're not gonna buy it.
Are you gonna buy that?

[BOOING]

They're right, folks.

They're right. It can be done.

Candy!

Candy, come forth!

ALL: Choose, choose, choose,

choose, choose, choose,

choose, choose, choose,
choose, choose, choose,

choose, choose, choose,
choose, choose, choose,

choose, choose, choose.

Choose, choose, choose,
choose, choose, choose,

[ALL STOMPING FEET]

[RINGS]

Choose, choose, choose,
choose, choose, choose,

Please, please, please!

Let us try to settle
this terrible problem

in a civilized manner.

Then there is only one
way to answer this challenge.

Are you saying...? Yes!

Are you trying
to tell me...? Yes!

Are you trying to tell
everyone here tonight,

and all the hundreds
of thousands of fans

watching at home... Yes!

That you are willing
to remove your mask?

No!

[CROWD BOOS]

But I will.

[ALL CHEER]

If it has to be done,
it has to be done.

[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]

She's lying.

She's lying! They're all lying!

I know who the man is!

[g*nsh*t] [ALL SCREAMING]

[g*nshots]

You're too slow!

Death to the hero!

WOMAN: I wreak v*olence

to end v*olence!

You...

Don't make v*olence.
Give him v*olence.

Death to the devils of the ring!

Space chicken. Death
to the devils of the ring!

Of the ring! Take
her out of here.

DOBEY: All right,
take her out of here.

Death to the devils of the ring!

Death to the devils of the ring!

All right, let's go.

[GASPS]

Come on! Hey, captain.

Oh.

You people, sit
down there. Get down.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Buzzy, we got a
fight to start and finish.

You with me or not?

Yeah. Let's do it.

You gotta finish
what you started.

You're the referee.

Oh. [MARCHING
BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

[GROWLS]

[CHEERING]

This is Smiling Tommy Reese,

bringing you the world
championship wrestling telecast

of the decade.

Don't change that channel.

[♪♪♪]

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Well, well, it looks as though

we're in business again, huh?

It was nice of Starsky to
throw this little party, wasn't it?

Yeah, sure, that was the least
he could do for the champion.

Yeah, he can pay for it
out of his pocket change

if the will reads as expected.

You know something, Buzzy...
I'm just glad you're alive.

You know, what I don't
understand is your ex-wife.

She's the most violent
pacifist I've even seen.

Oh, who knows. She always
claimed she hated v*olence,

but deep down inside I
think she just hated me.

Hey, look who's here.

Well... BUZZY: The man, Starsky.

Well, the West
Side J. Paul Getty.

Hey, so how'd it
go, Mr. Maserati?

[CLEARS THROAT] Uh...

Where's the caterer here?

Right here.

Oh. You're the caterer.

Say, uh, ahem, you
wouldn't mind telling me

what a little to-do like this

would be setting a
guy back, would you?

Conservatively speaking,

including the special order

of rum raisin bonbons
that you insisted upon:

Two hundred and
thirty-three dollars

and ninety-eight cents.

Chump change.

Yeah, well, that's nothing.
BUZZY: Chicken feed.

I already got it.

Payable now.

Now?

Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]

You got nine bucks on you?

Yeah, sure. Why?

He's got the money.
Don't worry about it.

This is straight from
your uncle's will, huh?

I thought he was gonna
leave, uh, $10 million.

He did. Seven daughters,
eight sons, 11 kids,

twenty-three grandchildren,
32 great-grandchildren,

seven charities...

and 53 nieces and nephews.

Of which you were one.

The last one.

[ALL LAUGH]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]
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