04x19 - Targets Without a Badge: Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Starsky & Hutch". Aired: April 30, 1975 –; May 15, 1979.*
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Streetwise Detective David Starsky partners up with a more intellectual partner, Kenneth 'Hutch' Hutchinson, to protect citizens and patrol the streets of Bay City.
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04x19 - Targets Without a Badge: Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Our mule train just
passed checkpoint nine.

NARRATOR: Last week on
"Targets Without a Badge":

Oh, look.

Starsky, the truck! Lionel!

He's dealing.

Federal judge, eh?

You know those two
chicks you popped?

Well, they're both working
as runners for the judge.

So how do you
fit in to this act?

Judge wants their case fixed.

A federal judge?
This better be good.

And Lionel here's
gonna help us set him up.

Uh, Nancy, you must
have this by mistake.

It's a state's arrest warrant.

There's no mistake, McClellan.

What's the meaning of this?

Means you better
take another look

at the name on
that arrest warrant.

You're under arrest, sir.

Big question:

Your informant, he will testify?

If we're gonna get a conviction

on Judge McClellan.

He gave me the
death sentence, man.

What else did he need to say?

Well, I'm as good as dead.

We got you into this thing.

We're gonna get you out.

You just gotta trust us.

I'm trusting you, both of you.

With my life.

I'm talking about
my husband's life!

I came here to plead with you.

To beg you to do
whatever you can

to guarantee my husband's life.

This is not up for debate.

You will reveal that informant.

Since we're being forced
to put our informant up front,

who takes the responsibility
when he turns up dead?

Stay put, right where you are.

Hello, pigeon.

There was a man
k*lled this morning.

A nobody, as far
as you're concerned.

But he was one
of my best friends,

and he's dead because
you let him down.

And there ain't nothing
you can say or do

to change that fact.

The way I see it,

this old badge has polluted
me just about enough.

Really?

Mind if I join you?

[♪♪♪]

NARRATOR: And now part
two, "Targets Without a Badge."

[♪♪♪]

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]

[♪♪♪]

Hi.

Just in case of showers.

It's a nice little car, huh?

Call her Bell.

[HUTCH LAUGHS]

Let's go. We're late.

Wait a sec, wait a sec.

You didn't tell
me what you think.

I don't know, I can't tell you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Means I'm embarrassed.

Embarrassed about what?

A grown man doesn't
drive a car like that.

Not a grown man.

Starsky? Hm?

I wanna tell you something.

I am not going in that.

What?

You heard me.

You care to tell me why?

You don't remember that
somebody tried to make us

swallow a car for dessert?

I remember the occasion.

So what?

And if you don't
succeed at first,

you try, you try again.

Well, what does that
have to do with my car?

You parked it out here
last night, didn't you?

Yeah. How long ago?

Twelve hours.

Twelve hours, that's great.

All by itself. All alone
on this street, huh?

Nobody watching.

Quiet little street. Dark.

[SIGHS]

Let me tell you something.

I do not intend to go
through the rest of my life

running away from shadows.

You wanna do that,
that's your business.

Starsk, Starsk.

Starsk.

You know, we're not on
the police force anymore.

We're not a thr*at.

We just happen to be a
couple of law-abiding citizens,

minding our own
business, looking for a job.

And we happen to be very
late for our first interview.

HUTCH: You sure
you wanna do that?

Yes, I'm sure.

You sure you don't want
me to take just one little peek

underneath that hood?

[SIGHS]

If you don't get in
this car right now,

after all the things I've
said, I'm gonna leave alone.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Straight up, and in
about a million pieces.

[♪♪♪]

Yeah, wait... Wait a second now.

I'll check underneath it first.

See anything?

No.

Nothing.

Easy.

[BANGS]

Ooh!

Okay.

Easy.

[MEOWS]

[BOTH SCREAM]

[♪♪♪]

Neatness, originality,
and, uh, happiness...

Oh, that's the spirit.
Uh, we'll be with you

in just a minute. Thank you.

Oh, he's unusually neat.

Oh, that's an unusual
quality these days.

Plan to take another
woman to lunch.

All finished?

Hm? Uhhh...

You bet.

You bet.

Thank you. It'll
be just a minute.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well, how'd you do?

What do you mean, how did I do?

How'd you do?

It's an aptitude
test, not an IQ test.

So how did you answer
the one about the animals?

Which one? If you were a farmer,

which one would you be more
likely to raise? A cow, goat?

This is Miss Evers.

[CHUCKLES] Sorry about that.

Yes, uh...

Now, then, Mr. Hutchinson.

Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am.

Nice to meet you.
And, uh, Mr. Starsky?

Oh!

I'm sorry about that.

Uh-huh.

Okay, um...

Mr. Gore, why don't
you take this one?

Uh, Mr. Starsky.

MISS EVERS: Uh, David.

Oh, David Starsky. Would
you come this way, please?

Yes, yes.

And Mr. Hutchinson,

would you follow me,
please? Oh, by all means.

[CLATTERING]

What are you doing? No!

What are... What!

[SCREAMS]

Not to worry. You get... Ahh!

Oh, my Go... Oh!

HUTCH: So, what do we do
for the rest of the day, huh?

When's the last time
you went to a matinee?

Matinee? Yeah.

You mean the movies?

Yeah. Think about it a second.

Going to a movie
in the afternoon.

What's that mean to you?

Debonair, carefree.

What's that?

It's just an ad I
saw in the paper.

What's it say?

"Young men wanted
between the ages of 21 and 36.

"Exciting opportunity.

"Must be physically fit.

Part-time okay."

Mm-hm.

"Salary commensurate
with ability."

That sounds pretty good
to me. I think we oughta

check that one out, huh?

You got it. One condition.

What's that? Go to a matinee

at least once this week, huh?

Alone? Hey.

[SIRENS WAILING]

COP [OVER LOUDSPEAKER]:
This is the police.

Pull the motorcycle to the
side of the road immediately.

[SIGHS]

Gone are the days.

[g*nshots]

[HORN HONKS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hey! Hold it. Don't move.

[CRASHES]

Huh.

You were saying?

You mean about
the good old days?

Yeah.

Well, poetry was
never my strong suit.

You know something, fella?

You oughta watch
where you're going.

You can put your hands down now.

[♪♪♪]

Can you believe that?

Well, what are you gonna
do, Starsk, write him a ticket?

Very funny. Come
on, give me a hand.

Huh?

Give me a hand.

STARSKY: Come on. HUTCH:
Where you wanna take it?

That way.

Hey! What are you doing?

Why are you pushing my car?

[STARSKY & HUTCH CHUCKLE]

Uh, excuse me, miss, but, uh,

the way I see it, I
only had two choices.

Either push your car out
of the way or roll over it.

Which would you
prefer? [CHUCKLES]

Oh.

This is your car? Yeah.

Oh. Gee, I'm... I'm really sorry.
I just saw you pushing my car...

And you thought we
were gonna steal it, huh?

Yeah. No, ma'am,

we have one of our
own. As a matter of fact,

we have two. I... I
have my own car.

As a matter of fact,
I bought it yesterday.

Really?

Yeah. Very pretty
little car. I call her Bell.

Aw, that's nice.

You wouldn't think
so if you saw it. Huh?

Well, look, I
really do apologize

for parking in your way.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't be silly.

I knew I was only
gonna be a minute,

and there was
absolutely no other space.

Except in my heart. Pardon?

Huh? Uh, nothing.

[LAUGHS] Nothing.

Well, I gotta be on my way.

Okay. Sorry again.

Yeah. And don't...
Don't mention it.

Take care. Be
careful driving now.

I'm gonna be so careful.

That is a beautiful
red suit you have on.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Don't forget, now, you
gotta release the hand brake.

Oh, let me help you
with the hand brake.

There you go. Put it in gear.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right?

Off you go. Okay, you guys.

So glad... So glad we
didn't run that little thing over.

Bye, guys. Bye-bye.

Bye. Oh.

[♪♪♪]

Pow, pow,

pow, pow!

Yeah. Well, let's go, eh?

So, what's on your mind now?

Um...

Ghosts.

Ghosts?

Yeah, uh... ghosts.

Ghosts.

MAN: If we'd ran
them over at that café,

we wouldn't be wasting
our time here now.

[♪♪♪]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

There was a call from
Blue Boy in Atlanta.

His affiliate is asking for
a higher monthly payment.

Then Blue Boy will have
to remind the affiliate...

of his options.

In the matter of
Starsky and Hutchinson,

the two detectives who
resigned from the police force

when the McClellan case aborted,

Soldier's beginning to think

that the two men who've
been watching them

could be put to
better use elsewhere.

Soldier isn't paid to think.

I want the surveillance
on the two detectives

to continue.

For how long?

For as long as
they're still alive.

And if they follow
their present pattern,

that may not be too long.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: It's a new year, you know?

[KNOCKING] Come on in!

It's a new year, baby.

It's a new time.

It's the Age of Aquarius.
It's the Year of the Dog.

Ho choi fat ming, right?

Hey, guys.

Terrific. Hey, I mean terrific.

Come on in. You
guys look terrific.

Call me Blaze.

Blaze. You can call me Blaze.

Terrific. Okay, Blaze.

Hey, how'd you guys
hear about this gig?

Somebody told you
about it? You read about it?

Saw the ad.

Hey, you can
read. That's terrific.

I need a little mirth.

Without mirth, what are
you? You're mirthless.

You look like you're in
shape. You really keep fit?

Staying in the healthy kick?
Me too, I believe in health.

See this? Blue ions.
Blue ions is the way to go.

It's the only way to go.
Tell me about your act.

What are you, a
double? What do you do?

We, um, uh... We work together.

We... We're partners.

I knew it! Sensational!

I got it. You're
acrobats, right?

You do a little gymnastics?
I mean, is that your thing?

Uh...

Well, I... I do a pretty
good headstand.

Oh, yeah.

Right. Well, I've
never seen that one.

But let me... Let me fill
you in on how we're doing it.

We're looking for a
couple of guys like you.

A couple of physical
types. Strong, you know.

A couple of stockers
who are really clear-eyed.

And who aren't
afraid of being seen,

you know what I mean?

Oh, just... what kind
of work does this entail?

Well, you wanna call it
work, it's called movie work.

Oh. Oh, movie work. Well.

You mean, uh, behind the camera,

kind of technical?

Technical? With you two guys,

I'm talking about in
front of the camera.

Right? Super 8 twins.

You mean acting?

You mean, you... You
want us to be actors?

You wanna call it acting,

I suppose you can
call it acting, why not?

We really don't
have any experience.

Experience. Let me tell
you about experience.

All you need to do is what
you do very well and enjoy most.

Know what I'm saying?
Look, what we need is...

Felicia, what?

Felicia, I'm in the
middle of an interview.

What do you want? Felicia, what?

Cigarettes. Cigarettes.
You always want cigarettes.

Know what these cigarettes
are gonna do to your teeth?

They're gonna make 'em yellow!

Honey, they're not
photographing my teeth.

[♪♪♪]

Getting warmer?
Hm? What do you say?

You're gonna
catch cold. Uh, well.

You're gonna catch cold,
it's gonna cost me money.

What do you say, guys, huh?

Licentia, I told you a thousand
times, if you sit like that,

you're gonna
aggravate your sinuses.

What do you say, guys?
Hundred bucks a day.

Hundred bucks a day.
I'll throw in the argyles.

[LAUGHS]

A little mirth. What do you say?

Come on, guys, I mean.
Doesn't come along every day.

That's okay. A little sequins.

I'll throw in a sequins mask.

Look, I think he needs
a little more practice.

Yeah. Practice makes perfect.

How can you
need practice with...

Hey, easy come, easy go.
You wanna get central casting?

You ever notice how when
you're unemployed, you eat more?

Hm?

No, I never noticed.

I saw Mardean yesterday.

How is she?

How do you think?

Come on, Huggy.

What do you want us to say, huh?

Would it help if
we felt more guilty?

Sorry.

Forget it.

HUGGY: She's a good lady.

She lost her old
man. Got a sweet kid.

Just lost her father.

And your buddy Judge
McClellan just sits up there

on that bench, holy as hell,
in his black, fancy robes.

You think we don't know that?

I know you know it. I'm
just sounding off, that's all.

Who are you
looking at like that?

Did I miss something?

Um, where are you going?

Where do you think I'm going?

Oh, well, um... Maybe
she's waiting for somebody.

Maybe she's gonna
meet someone here. Who?

Is there a law against talking
to a lady in a restaurant?

Look, look, uh... Why
don't we just invite her

to come over here
and join us, huh?

Okay.

Ah, ah.

Why you? Why not me?

Well, why not me?

I'm up.

Well, why don't we just
sit down for a second

and discuss this,
figure it out, huh?

Okay.

Now, look...

I think we oughta
close our eyes...

and think of a
number from one to 10.

Then what?

Well, then you tell
me what the number is.

And then?

Well, let's just do it and, uh,

see what happens.

Okay.

STARSKY: I've got a number.

Hutch?

The number is... seven.

Hutch?

[GIGGLING]

HUTCH: Maybe we
can, uh... Maybe... Oh!

Oh.

Maybe we can do that...

Maybe we can do that
again sometime, huh?

Yeah. I would
really, really like that.

Well, uh, I'll take your number.

I've got that. That's...
That's all right.

Okay. Five... Five, five, five.

Five, five, five.

Four, nine.

Hold still. Four, nine.

Eight, nine. Eight, nine.

Ha, ha.

Okay, I'll take that later, huh.

Mwah. Oh, yes, yes. Goodbye.

For now, huh? Mm-hm. Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

Finders keepers.

[SIGHS]

Why do I get the feeling
that we're wasting our time?

Do you got
something better to do?

Well, nothing that pays.

I rest my case.

[♪♪♪]

So did she ever get around
to offering you the job?

Well, sure, she did.

It's just that I don't
think I'm quite ready

for, um, the passion of a
woman or a man and his friend.

[LAUGHS]

Unbelievable.

Um... Look, um...

Are you... Are you free tonight?

Maybe we could, uh,

you know, take in a...
A movie or something.

Oh, gee, I already
have plans tonight.

Oh.

Thing is, we both do.

How's that?

David called me this
morning. He bought us tickets

to a concert tonight.

A what?

A concert. Starsky?

Yeah, the Boston
Symphony. Brahms.

[CLEARS THROAT]

What, don't you like Brahms?

Well...

Hey, do you like Brahms?

I don't know.
What race is he in?

[STARSKY AND HUTCH
SINGING BRAHMS]

ALLISON: You're crazy!

STARSKY: You got it again.

HUTCH: Do something
about that step.

Ted?

I guess he's still
playing poker.

You guys have a seat,

and I'll get some coffee, okay?

Hurry back. I will.

I'd like a little
extra sugar, please.

Okay. You had a
little extra sugar.

What did you think
of the concert, huh?

Brahms is a heck of a composer.

That's the first time you've
ever been interested in Brahms.

[CHUCKLES]

The only thing you find
attractive about Brahms

is Allison. That's right.

A very special girl.

Yeah, that's a very special girl

with whom I'd like to
spend a little time alone.

I bet you would.

She is, she's a
very special girl.

I know, you just
can't describe it.

That's right, I can't.

Something about her. Hm.

[CHUCKLES]

What?

This is an album here.

Will you please.
Come on, come on.

Look at that. Hm.

[CHUCKLES]

Wait a second. Wait a
second. Wait... Wait a sec.

Wait... Just wait a
second, will you, please?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, let me help
you with that, huh?

Okay.

Mm. Raisin?

[GIGGLES]

Sugar. Cream and sugar?

Yeah, we got sugar. Right here.

Laura?

Hello, David.

Huh.

[♪♪♪]

Laura?

What?

I don't understand. I don't
understand. I mean, I...

Hutch, um...

Huh?

Hutch, this is Laura Anderson.

Laura Anderson d*ed in
a car crash 21 years ago,

when she was 11 years old.

[SIGHS]

See, when I was six years old

I moved to a neighbourhood
in New York City,

and David lived
right next door to me.

We were as close
as sister and brother.

He used to call my parents
Aunt Marian and Uncle Frank.

And for five
years I-I... I don't...

During one summer vacation

my parents and I took
a drive to New England.

And you d*ed in a car accident. I
don't underst... What happened?

Dad worked as an
accountant for a number of men

who were involved
in illegal activities

around the country.

And there was

a federal investigation.

My father was too
deeply involved to get out,

so when the FBI
gave him the chance

that he was looking
for, he grabbed it.

Then he told them everything.

So in return, we
became what is called

"protected witnesses."

So the accident was staged?

The accident never happened.

Then we moved to the West Coast.

They told me that
we were moving there

because my father
had a very secret job.

We changed our names

and we became Tom,
Carol and Allison May.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

And my father still
works as an accountant,

but now it's, uh,
for the government

in one of their
home-mortgage departments.

And my mom d*ed six years ago.

Uh, let me ask you a question.

Bumping into David...

in the parking lot,

that wasn't a
coincidence, was it?

No.

I arranged it.

You see, I-I...

I read about the two of
you in the McClellan case.

You know, with the boy
you were trying to protect.

It wasn't hard to find you guys.

Well, why did you wait so long
before you made an explanation?

I need help, David.

Would you please

try and understand that...

we haven't seen each
other in more than 20 years.

I had to believe in you again.

What kind of help?

Someone's threatening my father.

A lot of people
were sent to prison

20 years ago when he
told the FBI everything,

and most of them
are probably still alive.

Every one of them would
like to see my father dead.

Does he make
payments of some kind?

No, it's nothing like that.

What then?

He's supplying
someone with information

that he gets from his office.

Well, what kind of information?

I don't know,
but whatever it is,

it's valuable to someone and...

[SIGHS]

giving it away is
k*lling my father.

Well, did you tell the FBI?

No. Why not?

Because I'm afraid to.

Because they're strangers to me.

I don't know if I ever
would've told anyone

if I hadn't seen David's
picture in the paper.

Look, Al... Laura. I... I
don't know what to call you.

Allison.

Allison.

We're not cops anymore.

We don't have the
force with us anymore.

I mean, we can't get bailed out.

We can't be protected
in any way. We...

I know. I know that.

And, um, I have no right at
all to ask you guys for help.

But I have.

My father's in
terrible trouble, David.

He's in terrible trouble.

And I can't help him.

Maybe you and Hutch can.

[♪♪♪]

What do you make
of these things?

Well, each one's
got an FHA loan.

Every one of them is
behind in their payments.

[SIGHS]

What do you suppose the old
man's doing delivering these?

Got me. Have to
wait and find out.

Here he comes.

[♪♪♪]

[ENGINE STARTS]

HUTCH: Apparently her
father has the same idea.

Thank you, have a good day. Bye.

Starsky, if he was
gonna make a drop,

what's he doing buying
flowers from a pretty girl?

She's the drop.

HUTCH: You won't get a ticket?

Hey, look, we're par...

All right, never mind. Back up.

Hey, pal, I remember
the day when I could park

anywhere I wanted to.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Uh... Uh, hol... Hold that.

Don't tell me you lost her.

Look, I wouldn't have lost her

if you had parked the car
where I told you to park.

Where did she go?
She went in and up.

Where were you? I was ov...

Perfect.

Hey, doesn't matter,
really, anyway.

Because whatever goes
up, has got to come down.

First law of physics. Gravity.

Right. Excuse me, ma'am.

Can we talk to you? We
have a couple questions.

Wait a minute.

Look, you delivered a manila
envelope to an office upstairs.

You mind telling us which one?

No, I delivered
flowers. Excuse me.

[CHUCKLING] You're
a very pretty lady.

You must make a good deal
of money delivering flowers?

No. I'm legitimately with
Flower Power, Incorporated.

Uh-huh.

Who are you guys anyhow?

Show her your badge.

Show her yours. Right.

Uh, I be...

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

You're not paid to be a
hero. Where was the drop?

I delivered a bouquet of
flowers to a man who'd...

Who'd rather not
have his identity known.

He's probably married,

if you know what I mean.

He's not married.
I know the man.

What seems to be
the problem here?

Oh, officer, these men are...

Uh, we're trying to find
the best place in town

to get a-a-a pastrami sandwich.

HUTCH: These locals
wouldn't know the difference

between good pastrami and pizza.

You don't think so, huh?
No. So thanks very much.

Right. No problem.
Thank you. Be seeing you.

Bye-bye.

If you parked the car
where I told you to park it.

Stop mumbling.
You'll hurt yourself.

[♪♪♪]

How are you today, Thomas?

I have to be back to
the office in 15 minutes.

Just tell me what
you want, Karen.

You were followed
this morning, Thomas.

By two men.

First they followed you

and then they
followed the flower girl.

That's impossible.

Young men. Both
in their early 30s.

Tall.

One with light hair
and the other, dark.

But that really isn't
the point, is it, Thomas?

The point is, why
did they follow you?

And why did they follow her?

I don't have any idea.

I'm sure you don't.

Which is why I haven't
reported the incident

to anyone other than you.

And that's how it will remain...

provided it doesn't
happen again.

Goodbye, Thomas.

My love to Allison.

[DOGS BARKING]

Hi, Daddy. How was your day?

Same old grind,
sweetie. How about you?

Mwah.

It was good. Do you know
what? I have a surprise for you.

Chinese food?

[LAUGHING] No, it's
much better than that.

Come on into the den.

Uncle Frank.

Little Davey.

David Starsky? 84th Street?

[CHUCKLES]

Come on, don't
tell me you forgot.

It's only been 21 years.

Hello. Ken Hutchinson,
nice to meet you.

Why did you follow
me this morning?

Dad?

What are you doing in my house?

I can explain it, Dad.

Oh, you can explain it?

You can explain why a man
we haven't seen in 21 years

and another man we've never
seen before are in our house

calling me by a name that
was erased from the books

more than two decades
ago? You can explain that?

Dad...

I want them out.

Do you understand that? Now.

Uncle Frank...

Look, I'm not your Uncle Frank.

All right.

Forget it.

Mr. May, Allison
asked us to help you.

Allison had no right.

The damage you've already
done might be rectifiable.

What damage?

Just listen to me
and say nothing.

Look, I've protected
my family for 21 years.

Living every single day

in fear of exposure.

But I have protected them,

and I will continue
to do so my way,

which means,
without anyone's help.

Now, for the last time

get outta my house.

Please.

[♪♪♪]

Dad.

Not now, Allison. Not now.

Okay.

Goodbye... sir.

The flower girl goes
up, she comes down.

I wonder if the guy she
delivered that envelope to

came down right after her.

Maybe saw us with her? Right.

Could've followed
us after we left.

Maybe.

Could be watching the house.

Could be.

Might be following us right now.

You wanna find out?

Anything?

You should try it again, huh.

We got company, all right.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

[HONKING]

[HONKING]

[HONKING]

Hey.

Yeah?

If we wanna find out
who these guys are,

why we trying to lose 'em?

Beats the hell out
of me. Hang on.

Put on the red
light. What red light?

All right, FBI.

Hold it.

Come on, move it,
move it. Get outta here.

AGENT: Let's go. Come on.

AGENT: You boys don't
seem to understand something.

There's a lot of
water out there,

and it's beginning to
lap up around your ears.

Funny, I don't feel wet.

You? Dry as a desert.

Oh, that's cute.
That's real cute.

All right. One more time.

Even though I'm
sure you guys believe

that you know
something that we don't...

you don't.

You got that?

Thomas May is a gentleman
who we know all about.

Whom. Whom we know all about.

You boys are beginning
to try my patience.

Really? Try mine.

Okay, okay, now,
look, playtime is over.

Just hear this.

Back off. Do you
understand that?

Just back off.

WALDHEIM: Thomas
May's case is a federal matter

and it's bigger than
either one of you think it is.

And the last thing that
anyone wants or needs is a...

A couple of ex-cops
playing private eyes

in a case way out
of their jurisdiction,

their territory,
their knowledge.

Or intelligence.

Are we excused?

Excused?

No, not hardly.

But if you mean can
you go, sure, you can go.

Go on, b*at it.

All right. Thanks.

HUTCH: Well, wait a second.

Um, how are we gonna
get back to our car?

Well, try your thumb.

There's a bus stop
down the corner.

Gone are the days, huh?

Well, not yet.

Not just yet.

You wanna close the door?

[♪♪♪]

An adventure, it wasn't.

Dear diary, today my friend
and I went for a ride on a bus.

[CLICKING]

Battery?

Brand-new.

Where's that bus?

STARSKY: Double
overhead cam, superchargers,

chrome rocker cover,
chrome air cleaners...

Have you reported this loss
to your insurance company?

Loss?

Theft. Have you
reported the theft?

Give us a break with
this formal inquiry.

Starsk, let me.

No, it's okay.

That's all right.

You're newly assigned
here, aren't you?

My partner and I have been
in this precinct for six years...

Seven. Seven years...

And now you're not and I am.

Was anything else missing?

Yeah, how about a great,
big chunk of my will to live?

Did you attempt
to move the vehicle

after you discovered the loss?

He tried that, lady, but
the pedals wouldn't work.

Did the stolen property
have any identifying marks?

Yeah, I told you. It's sport,
it's stroked, blueprinted.

It's a very special car.

That's not enough
for a proper ID!

Well, then, would
it help to know

that it answers to
the name Rhoda?

Rhonda? Betty Lou?

Tell that to your insurance
agent, smart-mouth.

Homeowners all
across the country,

every one of them
with an FHA loan

and every one of them
behind in their payments.

Mm-hm.

You know something?

What?

A list like that'd be
worth a lot to somebody

in the money-lending business.

It sure would be. A new
list of names every month.

A bunch of families
that are in debt,

looking for a way
to get bailed out.

How about another
mortgage company?

Huh?

A salesman makes an
approach with a really sweet deal.

His company is gonna refinance
John Doe's house with a new loan

plus kick in a few extra
bucks to sweeten the pot.

Considering the man's position,

is there any way
he could refuse?

Can't. Probably won't.

Even if the interest
rates go up a few points.

Everything is fine and
dandy until he's back into debt.

Which he probably will.

Then he finds out his new
friendly mortgage company

is not as sympathetic
or patient as the FHA.

And it forecloses.

And Mr. John Doe and his
family are out on the street.

And the mortgage company
takes over the house.

It's neat, legitimate
and perfectly legal.

[PHONE RINGS] You got a...

Have a cookie.

[RINGING CONTINUES]

You want me to get
the, uh... I'll get it.

Hello?

Allison?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, we can be
over there in 15 minutes.

Yeah, s-sure. Okay,
all right. Bye-bye.

What's up?

Trouble.

[♪♪♪]

Allison.

You look like trouble.
What happened?

I didn't want Dad to
know about our meeting.

Well, just tell me
what's going on.

My father started talking
about su1c1de tonight.

What?

It was right after you left.

He said that if he were dead,

then they wouldn't have
any hold over him anymore.

Or over me.

He said it was
only because of me,

because of what
they might do to me,

that he ever got involved
in this whole blackmail...

Did he ever talk
like this before?

Never. And I'm
frightened, David.

I'm so afraid he's gonna do it.

It's all right, it's all right.
Come on, get in the car.

HUTCH: Starsky.

Get down. Get down, get down.

Look familiar? Nope.

Get down! [g*nshots]

[♪♪♪]

STARSKY: I'll wait outside.

Allison's gonna be fine.

She's sleeping it off.

Maybe you oughta do the same.

I'll be staying awake till
I can get some answers.

It's gonna be a long night.

We've had them before.

We'll probably have them again.

Both of you?

Or just Allison?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that the reason
that Allison called us,

the reason we got together,

was to tell us that
you'd threatened su1c1de.

Look, I told you before,
and I'll tell you again:

What my daughter and I
discuss is none of your business!

Well, we're making
it our business.

By what right?

My daughter's lucky to be alive.

No thanks to you.

How can two ex-police
officers get themselves sh*t at

and almost k*lled?

And who is Allison May?

And what were the
three of you doing

parked in a garage in
the middle of the night?

Captain, Allison May
is a mutual friend,

long-time friend.

I just picked her up from
her girlfriend's house,

and we were on our
way out for coffee.

And that's it?

Afraid so, captain.

Look, whoever it was, that
took a sh*t at us and why,

we really don't know.

Now, that's the truth.

STARSKY: Captain.

We can't start carrying
g*ns without a permit.

One word from you would
expedite the paperwork.

What do you say?

What are you guys up to?

Staying alive, captain.

[♪♪♪]
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