01x49 - Captain Bamboozle

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)



(INDISTINCT SCREAMING)



(PEOPLE SCREAMING)



(SWORD CLANKING)



(CAR CLATTERS)

Knights in armor! Where am I? Behold, an ancient army brought back to life.

Battle

-trained and cheap too.

Very good, Sir Lunchalot.

Uh, now see if you can spear up some hot sauce.



- Nope, this is the right century.



-

(CAR CLANGS)

DUDLEY: Please run for your lives! In a quiet and orderly fashion.



-

(MAN GASPING)



-

(LAUGHS)

Get a load of pops!

(THUNDER CRACKING)

How do you like that, Felix Faust? I didn't even need a can opener.

Ah, you might be stronger than them individually, Shazam, but not even you can fight an entire army at once.

I don't know, I'm feeling pretty good this morning.



(GRUNTING)



(LAUGHS)

Go get 'em, tiger!

(CHUCKLES)



(GRUNTS)

Yeah, let them have it!

-

(GRUNTS)



- Bop there and a bop

(GRUNTING)

Atta boy! Ha! Holy smidge and our pom

-poms.



(EXCLAIMS)



(GRUNTS)



(GROANS)



- Atta boy, tiger!

- WONDER WOMAN: Um, excuse me.

We prefer civilians to stay out of harm's way.

Oh, no worries.

I managed to get everyone cleared out.

She meant you.

I'm Dudley H.

Dudley, Shazam's helper.

That's right, guys.

He's with me.

Uh, family.

Come on, Uncle Dudley.

Maybe we should get back to the RV, let the Justice League take over from here.

Justice League? They should call it, Shazam and Friends.

Uncle Dudley, huh? That looks like one doofus who'd be easy to bamboozle.

Gee, the, uh, place looks great.

But it is a little cramped when I'm like this.

Shazam!

(THUNDER CRACKING)

Well, I keep your room exactly as it was.

Any time you want to go on a road trip again, I'm here for you.

I know you are, Uncle Dud.

You're the closest thing to real family I have.

DUDLEY: That's why I like to help you out.

What else is family for? Yeah, that's what I need to talk to you about, Uncle Dudley.

When I'm Shazam, I'm almost invulnerable.

You, not so much.

When you're out there risking your life to protect people, you can get hurt.

And I can't let that happen.

Don't worry about me.

I'll be fine.

I love being there for you, Billy.

What would really help me is knowing that you're out of harm's way while I'm fighting the bad guys.

Could you do that for me, Uncle Dudley? Oh, but Billy I'm sorry, Uncle Dudley, but that's the way it's gotta be.

Listen, I've got to go, but, I'll see you down at the diner, okay?

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)



-

(WHIRRING)



- Huh? Behold, Dudley H.

Dudley.

I am the Wizard! Holy guacamole! You're the one who gave Shazam his powers! If you're looking for him, he, uh He just left! I am here for you, Dudley H.

Dudley.

Many years I've watched you, and found that you have the heart of a hero.

Thanks! However, you do not possess the power of a hero.

Until now.

All you need to do is speak the magic word, and you will have abilities far beyond those of mortal men.

Magic word? You mean like, "Shazam"? Look, I don't go around handing the same old magic word to everybody.

I customize.

Your magic word, Dudley, shall be, uh, bamboozle.

Uh, "Bamboozle"?

(THUNDER CRACKING)



(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

Holy guacamole!

-

(THUNDER CRACKING)



- Ah!

(GROANS)



(LAUGHS)

Holy Chips?

(THUNDER CRACKS)

I've given you every power you could possibly think of, and a couple of extras too.

So, go out there, Captain Bamboozle, and bamboozle the world!

- Hey!

-

(BIRD SCREECHES)



(MEOWING)



(WHIMPERS)



-

(MEOWS)



-

(TREE THUDS)

Thanks!

(INHALES)



(WATER RUMBLING)



(COUGHING)



(GASPS)



(ALARM RINGING)



-

(THUDS)



-

(RUMBLING)



(SCREAMING)



(GROANING)

You two have broken the law! Is this guy for real?

-

(RUMBLING)



-

(GRUNTS)

Huh? Uh

-oh! Let's get out of here!

(STRAINING)

Dudley, what are you doing? Holding up the building! I have superpowers.



(GROANS)

Isn't it great? You don't have to worry about me anymore.



- Stay right there.



- Okay!

(EXCLAIMS)



(SHAZAM GRUNTING)

What a team.

Uncle Dudley, how did you get powers? The Izardway gave them to me.

The Wizard? My wizard?

- DUDLEY: Shorter.



-

(TABLET BEEPS)

Mmm, shorter.



(TABLET BEEPS)

I'm sorry, Uncle Dudley, this doesn't follow the Wizard's usual MO.

Is this the man? That's him! Except the beard was more like, uh Fake? Yeah! How did you know?

- Because it is fake.



-

(TABLET BEEPS)



- Mr.

Mxyzptlk!

- Mxyzpoodlelick? Ptlk, a magical fifth

-dimensional imp who can only be defeated by getting him to say his name backwards.

Guys, we've got a bigger problem.



(THUDDING)



(CARS THUDDING)



(MEOWS)

ALL: Aw! Kitty.



-

(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)



-

(MEOWS)



(ALL GASPING)

This is more fun than when I gave Superman a chicken head.



(PANTING)



(THUDS)



(TIRES SQUEALING)

DRIVER: No! No! No! Dudley, I think it's in everybody's best interest if you stayed right here.

Oh, come on, Billy.

I'm invulnerable now! You got to let me help.

Mxyzptlk gave you those powers because he knew it would cause mischief.

I know that! But I think I've also got a way to b*at him.



(DRIVER SCREAMING)



(MEOWS)

Aw!

(SNIFFS)



(LAUGHS)



-

(SLOBBERING)



- Don't slobber! Slobber!

(SHAZAM STRAINING)



(SCREAMS)



(GRUNTING)



(GROANS)



(MEOWS)



(KITTY GROWLS)



(THUDS)



(THUDDING)

Hey, where's my blockhead?

- DUDLEY: Remain calm!

-

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Pay no attention to the monster kitty behind you.

What are you doing? You're supposed to be fighting with your pals, driving them cray Uh Driving Catzilla out of here.

Don't worry, Wiz.

I'm handling crowd control.

I'm letting the big g*ns handle the kitty.

No, you dunderhead, I gave you all those powers.

Get in there and use them! You make a good point.

I know what I'll do.

I'll use my food power, then my muscle power, then I'll finish him off with my incredible power of Ktlpzyxm.

What? There is no power of Ktlpzyxm.

Oh, you made me say it.



(MEOWS)

And there goes the suit.

Oh, well.

Even with three of the most powerful members of the Justice League in action, it was you who saved the day.

How on earth did you ever get him to say his name backwards? Well, young lady, they don't call me Captain Bamboozle for nothing.

(CHUCKLES)

- BATMAN: Congratulations, Dudley.

(PURRING)

Aw, kitty!

(WINCES)