04x07 - Tommy Dearest

[bunniefuu]

(ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING)

Hey, Paul, what are you doing down here?

Ah, just catching up with a friend.

That wouldn't happen
to be Marwani, would it?

Uh, no, no. An old friend from Chicago.

Uh, Marwani's, uh, cell
service's a little spotty, you know,

out there in the desert.

She give you any indication
when she might be coming home?

Nah. I think she's still
trying to figure that out.

Right.

- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- So

what's got you wandering
the halls tonight, Cap?

- (SIGHS) Work.
- Yeah.

- Heavy is the head, huh?
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

Just not heavy enough to go to sleep.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

So what is it you got,
IR reports or budget stuff?

No. Wedding plans.

God bless TK and Carlos,
but they're such rookies.

I mean, you survive two weddings
of your own, you know things, right?

- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
- That I bet.

For example...

- centerpieces.
- (CELL PHONE CHIMES)

OWEN STRAND:
They have to anchor the table.

Whoever that is
is blowing your phone up, man.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, no, she's on an epic tear
about The Bachelor right now.

Oh, "she."

Oh, so it might be
more than a friend-friend.

Uh, no, I don't see that happening, Cap.

Take my advice.

If someone makes you light up like that,
make it happen.

No, no, thanks,
but I can't do that, Cap.

Why not?

- (DOOR OPENS)
- MAN: Anybody here?

- WOMAN: Hello!
- MAN: I need help!

See, Jerry, I told you
they were open hours.

Hi, I'm Hannah.
This is my husband Jerry.

Yeah. Uh, how you doing?

- She can't walk.
- PAUL STRICKLAND: Uh-huh.

So you strapped her upside down
to a refrigerator dolly?

I wasn't gonna try and carry her

by her ankles for six blocks.

So I'm assuming you don't have a car.

How can I keep her upside down in a car?

Okay, look, keeping somebody
upside down like this,

barring certain yoga positions,
is very dangerous.

- So I suggest that we...
- HANNAH: No!

JERRY: No, no, no!
You can't. You'll k*ll her.

She's having a...
um, a medical emergency.

HANNAH: He's right.

If you turn me right-side up,
I'll die again.

Now, when you say "again"...

BP's over .

Heart rate's , Cap.

Is that bad?

No, it's totally normal,

actually, which is surprising.

How long has she been
upside in this position?

Uh, half an hour, maybe.

Could you tell us what y'all were doing

before the symptoms started?

There were no symptoms.
She just kept dropping dead.

And what were you doing
when she first dropped dead?

We were, uh, in bed.

In-in bed sleeping or...

We were engaged in, uh...

- You know.
- Oh, for the love of God, Jerry.

They're all adults here.

We were having intercourse,
and I blacked out.

JERRY: Her heart stopped.

So I tried to move her
to the floor for CPR

and she slipped off the bed.

The second her head was upside down,
she woke up again.

And then everything was fine
until I tried to stand up again.

- And then she d*ed.
- Again.

I had tried CPR again, didn't work.

So I grabbed her by her legs and yanked.

And I came back to life again.

Alright, Nancy, TK, go grab the gurney.

NANCY GILLIAN: Copy.

TOMMY VEGA: Uh, Hannah,
I'm gonna lay you down flat

so that I can better assess
what's going on.

No! You can't. You'll k*ll her.

No, no, it's okay. We'll be gentle.

Her vitals are strong.
I think she'll be just fine.

I'm just not sure that
what appears to be happening

is what's actually happening.

Jerry, sweetie, we have
to trust them, okay?

Captain Strand, can I have some help?

- Guys.
- TOMMY: Yep.

Alright, we're gonna lay
the dolly down flat,

and then we're gonna
move her to the gurney.

Alright, on three.

One, two, three.

(MONITOR BEEPING)

- (FLATLINE)
- Syncope. I lost her heartbeat.

(FLATLINE)

- I told you!
- Alright, forget the gurney.

Just get it back up.

(GROANS WEAKLY)

(MONITOR BEEPING)

Did it happen again?

You see? What's wrong with her?

(SIGHS) Uh... I, I don't know.

Hey, you don't think
this could have to do

with my pacemaker, do you?

- You have a pacemaker?
- I didn't mention that?

No, you didn't.

Alright. How long have you had it?

HANNAH: Uh, about a year.

But the doctor said
that it would last ten years.

As long as it stays connected
to the ventricle in your heart.

I'm thinking that your
bedroom activities tonight

might have dislodged the wiring.

And then when you're upside down,

everything falls back into place again.

- So how do you fix it?
- I don't.

We need to get her to a hospital.

Cap, our, our rig
isn't tall enough for us

to transport her upside down.

She can ride with us.

She ain't gonna fit
in the fire truck either, Cap.

She's not gonna ride in the rig.

(SIREN WAILING)

(HORN BLARING)

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic ed.com

Okay, now, the YouTube lady said

to wait until the exact moment
that the top layer

turns a crispy autumn gold.

What do you think?

Looks pretty golden to me.

Eh, well, looks more

egg-yolk yellow gold, right?

I should... probably put it
back in for a few more minutes?

Okay.

I'm just worried

that any longer and the crispy
will turn to crunchy,

and nobody wants
a crunchy lasagna, right?

- Trevor.
- Yeah?

Do me a favor.

Take off your oven mitts.

Hold my hand.

Take a deep breath in through your nose.

(BOTH INHALE)

Out through your mouth.

(BOTH EXHALE)

Just breathe.

- (EXHALES)
- Okay. Better?

Hmm.

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

Alright, listen, you got this.

- Yeah? Listen.
- (GIRLS LAUGHING)

Do you hear that?

(CHUCKLING CONTINUES)

That's laughter. That's a good sign.

We always knew our children
would get along with each other.

The scary part is what happens
when we tell them about us.

You've got nothing to worry about.

My girls love you.

And they've never been this excited

about going to church.

I think that has more to do with

my new Youth Director, Cory.

Oh, Cory.

- Definitely helps.
- (TREVOR LAUGHS)

But they think the world
of Pastor Trevor.

Yeah, well, "Pastor Trevor"
is a lot different

than "my mom's new boyfriend Trevor."

(CHUCKLES)

Crap.

Is that even the right label?
Do we want a label?

Because I don't wanna rush anything...

Okay, stop.

It's the first time I heard it out loud.

Boyfriend sounds nice.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- (GIRLS LAUGHING)
- Okay, now...

Do you have any tips for me?

I mean, something I can, you know,
score some points with Melody?

You already saved my life
in front of her,

so that gives you
a pretty good head start.

Good. So we're doing this?

- Yeah.
- We're doing this.

- Yeah.
- Okay, good.

You know what? I'm just gonna
pop this back in the oven...

Yeah, girls, dinner.

I'm so full.

I feel like I have
a little lasagna baby.

Could it be twins?

IZZY VEGA: Don't encourage her.

Well, uh, ladies, we, um...

we have something we wanna tell you.

We've really enjoyed
spending time together.

And we're interested
in making our relationship,

uh, more formal.

So like boyfriend, girlfriend?

But only if you're okay with that.

I know, uh, Pastor Trevor
is the first guy I brought home

since your dad passed away.

What about Julius?

Yeah, he lived with us.

Julius?

Uh, their Uncle Julius.

Ah. (CHUCKLES)

Uh, well, listen, if you guys
have a problem with it...

Does this mean we get
a better parking spot at church?

- (TREVOR LAUGHS)
- N... No.

No, Izzy.

Okay. I'm still cool with it.

Me, too.

Just don't break her heart.

I will treat it like
the treasure that it is.

Mel?

I'm happy for you guys. You deserve it.

TREVOR: Well, alright!

Who wants to celebrate

by having some apple pie a la mode?

- BOTH: I do.
- (TOMMY LAUGHS)

- Great.
- Mel?

MELODY: No, thanks, I'm stuffed.

- TREVOR: Alright.
- Alright, help that man

scoop some ice cream now.

(TREVOR CHUCKLES)

Oh.

Melody, I am so excited.

I, I just, I know that we're
gonna have so much fun together.

I don't.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh.

(SIGHS) You're not joking, are you?

No, I'm not.

Uh...

Don't look at him. Look at me.

You have to break up with him
before this goes any further.

Okay, honey, um,

that sounds like
you're giving me an ultimatum.

We can either end this your way

or we can end it my way.

You have till tomorrow.

Huh...

"We can end it your way
or we can end it my way"?

Those are the exact words that she said?

Yeah. With a day to decide.

Holy smokes.

So just so I'm clear,
this is little sweet Melody

who sings in the children's choir?

The same.

No. See, she's innocent
and sweet on the outside,

inside there lurks a heart of darkness.

What she is...

is a Bad Seed.

Well, Judd, don't talk about

the pastor's daughter like that.

And she's not a Bad Seed.

She's just been through a lot.

I know. I remember what I was
like when my parents separated.

I didn't come out of my room
for a month.

I'm trying to be sensitive
about this, I am.

I mean, the last thing I need

is to be at w*r with
my new boyfriend's daughter.

Might be too late.

She already fired the first sh*t
across the bow.

You know what?
We're supposed to go out tonight,

and I'm just, I'm gonna call,

I'm gonna call and just cancel it.

Mm... No, ma'am.

You will do no such thing.

You will keep the date
and you'll tell him

what she told you face-to-face.

And just do it with love and compassion

and it'll be fine.

(STEAM HISSING)

Okay, now the secret
is a smooth, steady pour

with a deft flick of the wrist.

And voilà, a heart.

- (PAUL GIGGLING)
- Uh, dude, no offense,

but that doesn't look like a heart.

PAUL: Yeah, man, it looks like a butt.

Or a set of boobies.

Yeah, yeah, that foam is
definitely not safe for work, bro.

Everybody, you remember Asha Fulton.

Oh, great. The HR lady again.

Hey, Miss Fulton. How you doing?

Very well, Firefighter Strickland.

Thanks for asking.

Uh, or the record, um,
these weren't boobies.

It was supposed to be a heart.

Mateo, she's here to close out
the first investigation,

not launch a new one.

Wait. Close out?

Does that mean that
Marjan isn't coming back?

The Geralds dropped their frivolous suit

against the department.

Their attempt to blackmail us fell apart

after Firefighter Marwani
took such a public stand.

- That's amazing.
- Oh, we've got to tell Marj!

Oh, no, she already knows. I told her.

Oh. Oh.

Hey, how did you know already?

- Oh...
- Uh, Captain Strand, is it okay

if we head up to your office
to go over the paperwork?

Sure. Would you like
an almond milk espresso?

No, no, no, no. She has a nut allergy.

Uh, I-I'm guessing
that she has a nut allergy.

Good guess.

Uh, well, it was lovely
seeing you all again.

Captain.

(NANCY CLEARS THROAT)

What?

You're dating the HR lady.

I am not.

How'd you know about her food allergies?

Wait, do HR ladies actually date?

Yeah, of course they do.

And she's not a HR lady, okay?
She's the department advocate...

Advocate for
the blah, blah, blah. Got it.

There is definitely something
that just happened here.

Did you feel that?

Oh, yeah. Like actual sparks.

(SIGHS)

Okay, fine.

So, you know,
the thing that was going on

is that we actually know each other.

Turns out we went to school together.

- You mean college?
- No, in grade school.

- Back in Chicago.
- Whoa.

And you recognized her
from grade school?

Actually, she recognized me.

- Wow!
- Right? I mean...

Uh, so, anyway, we've sort of
just been reconnecting.

Mostly texting, but that is about it.

Okay? It goes no further than that.

Why the hell not?

She's gorgeous and super into you.

Yeah, dude, it's like destiny.

(SCOFFS) It is not destiny.

Wait, you really think she's into me?

- TK STRAND: Oh, yeah.
- Clearly.

Yeah, you should totally take
her out for some nut-free coffee.

Exactly.

♪

(SIGHS)

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Sword and Slices.

A bounty forged in stone
delivered to your home.

Don't make me do this.

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

Is the maiden of the castle in?

Your bounty awaits, m'lady.

(SIGHS)

Come on. Valerie?

I got your fennel and mushroom out here.
Come on.

Is anybody home?

Oh, my God.

GRACE RYDER: Okay,
I'm sending an ambulance now.

Sir, listen, I need you to clear away

anything hard or sharp nearby

and gently turn her on her side
to protect her airway.

I-I'm outside.

I was just delivering a pizza here

and I-I saw her through the window.

Okay, and what's your name?

Lance. I-I work at Swords and Slices.

Okay. I want you to try the front door.

See if it's unlocked.

Yeah, it's definitely locked.

Oh, no, she stopped moving.

- Valerie! Valerie, wake up!
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Sir, do you know the resident?

Uh, I... No, not really.

I-I deliver a pizza here every week,

but I usually just
leave it on the stoop.

I-I think she's a shut-in.

She always says,
"Thank you, brave knight"

through the intercom
and then Venmos me a tip.

From what I'm seeing here,

Valerie wears a medic-alert bracelet.

She's a type-one diabetic,

which means she could be
having an insulin crash.

I swear I got the pizza here on time.

If she's going into a coma,
she doesn't have a lot of time.

So, Lance, listen.

I'm gonna need you
to break into the house.

Break in? Isn't that illegal?

That's okay. I'm giving you permission.

- You can do that?
- Well, I just did.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Break down the door with my shoulder?

Any chance you play soccer?

Well, I play Pokémon GO.

- Why?
- Okay.

Alright, Lance, um,

I need you to stand three feet
away from the door, okay?

Then kick the heel of your shoe
just above the knob.

That's it? That's the advice?

Yeah, that's it. Do it.

No. I'm not strong enough.
It's barely even budging.

I need you to hit it with confidence.

I don't have any confidence!

I'm a -year-old pizza delivery guy.

I-I can't do this.

Alright, Lance, let's stop.

New deal.

We're gonna try
something called a mule kick.

Okay? That should help
you generate enough force.

Now, turn around.

Face away from the door.

- Take a deep breath.
- (EXHALES) Okay.

Now, that woman, she calls you
a brave knight, right?

So I need you to prove it to me.

Raise your leg up

and kick back with
as much force as you can.

(HEAVY BREATHING)

I did it!

I'm in.

Okay. Well done, brave knight.

Now, listen, press two fingers

up against her neck
next to her windpipe.

Tell me what you feel.

Uh, her pulse is going a mile a minute.

Okay, is she clammy?

Uh, I think so.

Alright, yes.

Those are all consistent
with an insulin crash.

Now, hopefully, she has a glucagon pen.

Lance, I need you to look around for,
like, a white tube.

It looks like a cigar.
There's a red top on one end.

It's probably in her purse.

LANCE: Found it.

- Found it.
- Pull the red top off.

It's gonna expose a yellow end.

But be careful,
that's where the needle is.

Okay, now what?

Okay, now push that yellow end

straight down into her upper arm,

and then just hold it there
until I say so.

Okay. I did it.
How do I know if it's working?

Go ahead and pull the pen out.

Oh, God! She's waking up!

Hi, there.

(CRACKLING)

VALERIE: And I think I k*lled him.

Fielding Road.

- (TASER CRACKLES)
- Stay down.

Did you already call an ambulance?

I see one is en route.

No, I didn't call for an ambulance.

I just woke up and he was on top of me.

GRACE: Lance, Lance, what's going on?

- Are you there still?
- Grace.

Your caller's not
at Fielding, is he?

Yeah, he is. Why?

So is mine.

- Can I patch in? Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

- (BEEPS)
- Lance, is that you?

Lance? No!

Some creep broke into my house

and I stun-gunned him.

Okay. So you must be Valerie?

Yes. How did you know?

The man you just stun-gunned,
he saved your life.

He was delivering a pizza.
He found you in insulin shock.

I helped him into your home.

Lance? From Swords and Slices?

Oh, my God. What have I done?

Is he moving at all?

No. I mean, his finger
was twitching a little,

and then I zapped him again.

Okay, Valerie, I need you to check

to make sure he's breathing still.

I don't think he is.

And there's no pulse either.

Okay, listen, Valerie,
the paramedics are almost there.

Do you know CPR?

Yeah. Yeah, I took a class online.

GRACE: We're gonna do compressions,
okay?

VALERIE: This is why
I never leave my home

so bad things won't happen.

Well, in my experience,

they have a way
of finding you all the same.

You're doing great though, Valerie.

Please don't die, Lance. I'm so sorry.

Alright, Valerie, my team just landed.

- TOMMY: Ma'am?
- They're here.

Okay. Alright. We need you to move.

Make some space for us. You did great.

TK, get his shirt open.

Nancy, ready the paddles.

TK AND NANCY: Copy.

NANCY: Clear!

(THUDS)

(GASPS)

Hi, sir. My name is Nancy.

I'm a paramedic,
and I'm here to help you.

What happened?

Your heart stopped b*ating,
but we got it restarted again.

No, what happened to Valerie?

I'm right here, Lance.

LANCE: You might want to eat something.

How about some mushroom and fennel?

Oh. Oh...

You should be just fine.

They're gonna run some tests
at the hospital

just to make sure.

Wait! Hang on just a second!

(PANTS)

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

for all of the jolts I gave you.

It's okay.

I think a jolt is just what I needed.

Me, too.

Aw.

Speaking of jolts.

Thank you, brave knight.

From now on, I'll only be
saying that to you in person.

Uh, I appreciate that,
but I won't be delivering pizzas

to your house anymore or-or anyone else.

I quit.

Well, then we should probably
get dinner out sometime.

I'd like that.

♪

What the hell are you doing here?

Well, he needed a sitter.

Well. Okay.

Alright. And don't say "hell." Come on.

He'll be out in a second.

So have you seen Melody?

I have seen her.

Mm-hmm.

And she seemed okay, T.

- Sweet as pie.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, my goodness.

Thank you.

Hey, Mel, come on out here.
We're leaving soon.

Wow! Miss Tommy,
you look like a movie star.

Thank you.

I mean it.

- Okay, so dinner's on low heat.
- GRACE: Mm-hmm.

She usually eats around :
and bedtime's at : .

Let me show you where the Crockpot is.

And we really appreciate this, Grace.

Oh, you're so welcome.
You'll be repaying the favor very soon.

- No doubt.
- (LAUGHTER)

I think that dress was a bad idea.

You just said
I looked like a movie star.

You do.

But that's really not
how you should dress

when you're about
to break a man's heart.

Melody...

I'm not going out with your dad tonight

to break up with him.

I thought we had an understanding.

Honey, when we said
it was important to us

that you girls be okay
with this, we meant it.

Which is why tonight at dinner,

I'm gonna have a frank conversation

with your dad about
your complicated feelings.

Okay. Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

TREVOR: My number is right there.

And here's the number of the restaurant

- in case you can't reach me.
- GRACE: Mm-hm.

And, uh, I mean, if anything should...

GRACE: It's okay, pastor, don't worry.

I know who to call in case of emergency.

TREVOR: Of course you do.

Okay. Uh, we should be home by : .

I love you, Mel.

You, too.

You guys have fun.

- PAUL: Alright, so...
- (ASHA AND PAUL LAUGH)

So this kid has this toy truck,
like, stuck up his nose.

-I mean,
-ASHA FULTON: No.

his sinus is bulging up in there.

So I tell him
it's not gonna hurt, right?

- Just a little white lie.
- Yeah, for the greater good.

- Thank you.
- ASHA: Yeah.

Okay, so we get it out,

and when I tell you,
this little G exploded, I mean, boom.

- "You lied!"
- Oh, no.

"You lied! It hurt, oh!"

I mean, tears, snot.
I mean, the whole nine.

I felt like such a monster.

Oh, no. You could never be a monster.

So you will never believe what I found

in a box in my closet.

PAUL: Oh, is that the, uh...

ASHA: Sixth grade yearbook.

Check it out.

They had a full spread
on the basketball team.

Aw! Look at us.

So adorable.

Paul, you okay?

Huh?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this is great.

L-Look, isn't that, uh,
Carly Sonterras right there?

Oh, my God, yes!

With the rec specs.

I forgot all about her.

(ASHA LAUGHS)

Ah, it's a trip.

(TREVOR CHUCKLES)

I'll be honest.

For a while there,
I was really questioning God.

Going through a divorce as a pastor

with the whole congregation watching.

It was rough.

I, I can't even imagine.

But there's a reason Isaiah says

that God's ways
are higher than our ways.

And seeing the three girls
together like that,

I mean, that was...
it was amazing, Tommy.

I haven't heard Melody
laugh like that since she was...

since she was seven years old.

I think what I'm trying to say,

Tommy, is that I am so glad
that He led us to you.

I feel the same way.

But there's something
I need to tell you.

- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- Um...

TREVOR: Oh.

Hey, Grace, what's going on?

Oh, we'll be right there.

Hello?

GRACE: Yeah, we're in here.

Dad.

Hey, sweetie. I'm right here.

GRACE: I, uh...

I really don't know what happened.

We were about to sit down, start dinner.

She started looking clammy,
and she just, she took a turn.

TREVOR: How do you feel, sweetie?

It hurts.

TREVOR: Aw, honey, I'm so sorry.

Tommy, I am so sorry
to interrupt your dinner.

I didn't know what else to do.
She's just been a mess.

TOMMY: Hmm.
Did you take her temperature?

Yeah, I did. It was normal, but...

TREVOR: Oh, my poor baby girl.

Ow!

Hold my purse.

- Hey, Trevor.
- Yeah?

Would you let me take a look at her?

TREVOR: Oh, would you, Tommy? Thank you.

Of course.

Hey, sweetie.

How you feeling?

- Bad.
- Okay.

Um, will you sit up for me?

Go, "Aah."

Aah.

Alright, I'm gonna palpate
your stomach, alright?

Just right here. Lay back for me.

There you go. Does that hurt?

- A little.
- Little?

Hmm.

Should we call an ambulance?

No. No, no, no. That won't be necessary.

But I do have some good news
and some bad news.

What is it?

Well, I believe she has

rapid-onset juvenile gastrosintesis.

- Is that the bad news?
- No, that's the good news.

It's completely treatable.

What's the bad news?

The treatment.

Yeah. I need you to mix up
some things for me.

Okay? Uh, milk and pickle juice,

minced garlic and, um, um, horseradish.

- Okay? Okay.
- Okay.

Well, Tommy, are you sure
that that's necessary?

Oh, absolutely.

Mm-hmm. Oh!

(LAUGHS) That's right. Almost forgot.

Um, raw egg and soy sauce and Tabasco.

Mm-hmm. Gracie, will you
help Trevor out with that?

- Uh, yeah.
- Thank you.

You're a lunatic.

Now, you can drop this act,

or you're about to have the
worst milkshake of your life.

- How much pickle juice?
- Can't have too much!

And, uh, you're sure this works, Tommy?

Oh, yes. It's my abuelita's recipe.

Uh-huh, yeah, the, the milk
coats the stomach

and the-the pickle juice

just pumps her full of electrolytes.

What about the, uh, Tabasco?

Immunity booster.

Last chance.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

TREVOR: Okay. (SIGHS)

Here you go, sweetie.

Drink up.

Is there something
you'd like to say, Melody?

Thank you.

Oh, wow.

So brave. Right?

Hey, Paul!

Ooh, looks like somebody was up late.

Yeah, I didn't really get
too much sleep last night, man.

Ooh, you bad boy.

TK: Damn!

Things with Asha went that well?

- (MATEO LAUGHS)
- Not really, no.

I don't think we'll be
seeing each other again.

Wait, what? What about the sparks?

Well, that's the thing
about sparks, man,

they don't really last
too long, do they?

Well, what the hell happened?
This was supposed to be destiny.

Yeah, well, destiny
is a bunch of bull, okay?

And this is personal,
so I'd appreciate it

if you guys
will stop riding me about it!

Hey. I'm sorry, man.

OWEN: Paul?

Can I see you in my office?

Look, Cap, you don't
have to say anything, okay?

I'll go apologize to 'em.

Oh, that would be a good idea.

But I didn't call you in
for a reprimand.

Just to, just to talk.

Look, I appreciate it,

but you're already my captain, okay?

I don't need you to be
my therapist, too.

The tension you carry around in here,

you take out there
in the field with your team.

Alright? So, have a seat.

What's going on?

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Okay, fine.

It's about Asha.

The woman from HR?

I thought you guys were hitting it off.

Yeah, we were.

She's not who you thought she was?

No, she's exactly who I thought she was.

I mean, she's cool as hell.

She's beautiful, funny,

and she knows about me

and she's clearly still interested.

You know, I thought it's all teed up.

There's not gonna be any surprises.

No, no awkward conversations,

because she already knows everything.

So what's the problem?

She already knows everything.

Um, I'm not sure I understand.

(SIGHS)

It's, like, throughout the whole dinner,

all she wanted to do
was play remember when,

like, when we did Arsenic and Old Lace

for the school play

or when we won the city
championships in basketball.

And those are unhappy memories for you?

No, they were.

I mean, the school play
was never my jam,

but... I loved to hoop.

You played basketball?

Because I've never heard you
talk about it or watch a game.

Why, why'd you give it up?

(SIGHS DEEPLY) Uh...

I-I guess before I transitioned,

there were these things, like...

these parts of myself that...

were so tied to who
everybody thought I should be

that I had to, like,
close the door on them

in order to really be who I am.

And she's seen behind all those doors.

And there are some of 'em
you still don't wanna open up.

Yeah, I guess you can call it
a survival mechanism.

But, hey, Cap, I really appreciate you

letting me come in here and talk to you,
um, and clear my head.

I feel like I'm ready
to go back to work.

- Is it cool if I go?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure.

Alright, cool, thank you.

If, uh, if you're making
another one of your, uh,

nasty pickle milkshakes,

I think I'll pass.

Aah. Gracie told you about that, huh?

Oh, yeah. Grace told me about

how you, uh, reduced
some little girl to tears.

One tear, one single tear.

And, you know, and it was pretty great.

Wow.

What?

I don't know, I don't know
if I've ever seen

this side of you before.

It's, uh... it's kinda dark.

I was just following your advice.

Oh, my advice? What-what was my advice?

Well, you're the one that said
she had a heart of darkness.

I don't recall telling you
to go full Tommy dearest

on some innocent child.

Oh, first of all, not innocent, okay?

And secondly, she, well...

She started it.

Mm-hmm.

You know, if you're gonna
come for the queen,

you best come correct.

Yes, yes. Yes, Your Highness.

- (TOMMY CHUCKLES)
- Uh...

looks like you got company.

TOMMY: Melody?

Um... (NERVOUS LAUGH)

What are you doing here?

Miss Tommy. Can I speak with you?

Yeah. Um, is your dad here?

No. This is between us.

Okay.

Uh...

Come with me.

(JUDD CHUCKLES)

(TOMMY SIGHS DEEPLY)

Um, can I get you something to drink?

I think I'll pass
on another drink from you.

Oh.

Right. Uh...

So...

"Juvenile gastrosintesis."

I looked it up.

It doesn't exist.

No. No, it doesn't.

And not my finest hour.

It was well played.

If I'm being honest,

I had no idea
what I was going up against.

Believe me, kid, neither did I.

Listen...
Melody, this thing between us has...

gone far enough, don't you think?

I mean, let's just call a truce.

But we're just getting to the fun part.

What are you talking about?

Uncle Julius.

I saw his photos online.

I can't blame you.

He's hot.

What are you suggesting?

You know, Evie and Izzy
have been so great to me.

Showing me around school, hanging out.

We do a lot of talking
on the playground.

Why am I picturing a prison yard?

And they told me all about how they saw

their mom and Uncle Julius

doing something a mom
and her brother should never do.

Okay, you know what?
First of all, not my brother.

Brother-in-law.

And we were very careful not...

They never told you
any of that, did they?

No. But you just did.

TOMMY (OVER PHONE): Brother-in-law.

And we were very careful not...

(PHONE DINGS)

Bad Seed.

I don't know what that means,

but this is your last chance
to break up with my dad

or else I'll tell him all about

what you did with your own brother.

In-law.

Brother-in-law!

- GRACE: For you.
- Thank you, Gracie,

for making time
in the middle of your shift.

Why do I feel like my coffee break

is going to be the biggest
emergency I'll face all day?

Well, I didn't think it was possible,

but that kid has topped herself.

She's blackmailing me.

- She's blackmailing you?
- Mm-hmm.

Tommy, what could she
possibly blackmail you about?

Uncle Julius.

Yeah, she's threatening to tell her dad

that I had a fling

with my deceased husband's baby brother.

GRACE: What?

Okay, well, maybe that child

is a little evil, then,

because how can she
make up something so...

- Tommy?
- TOMMY: Mm-hmm.

GRACE: Oh, oh, oh.

You and Julius?

Yes.

- So...
- What?

How was it, Tommy?

It was kinda mind-blowing, actually.

- Yes.
- Mm-hmm. I bet it was.

Uh, okay, listen, we need
to get back on topic here, okay?

- Just focus. Alright.
- Okay.

'Cause I've been
gaming out some scenarios

to help bring this Melody
situation to a conclusion.

Okay. Well, let's hear 'em then.

Alright, so no bad ideas, right?

Okay. Yeah, sure.

Okay. So I eavesdropped
on Iz and Evie last night

and they were talking about
how Melody has a secret TikTok

where she uses bad words
and talks about boys,

and it's like all this
really good, useful dirt, right?

So I thought that I would blackmail her

to stop blackmailing me.

So... So that one's a bad idea.

No. No bad ideas.

GRACE: It is, Tommy,

because if I'm being honest with you,

you really don't have
to game anything out

because you really only have one option.

No. Gracie, don't say the truth.

It's the truth. You owe it to Trevor.

Gracie.

No. If I snitch on her now,

she'll never forgive me.

If you don't tell Trevor,

this whole battle royale
between you and Melody

is going to blow up
in both of your faces.

And it's going to turn out worse for one

than it's going to for the other.

Which one?

The one that's not .

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Tommy, this is a nice surprise.

Trevor, um, I'm sorry
to stop in like this,

but, uh, am I interrupting something?

No, no, no, I was just, uh, going over

my notes for tomorrow's sermon.

Oh.

The Power of Forgiveness
in Second Timothy.

Oh, we can all use some of that.

(TREVOR CHUCKLES)

TOMMY: Uh...

So, um, is-is Melody around?

Uh, she's sleeping in, I think.

Oh.

Tommy, what's going on?
Is something wrong?

Uh, yes. Uh... yes, Trevor.

Something is... Something's very wrong.

Look, I-I just think
that we jumped in too fast.

Formalizing our-our
relationship with the girls.

Oh, no. Are Evie and Izzy
having problems?

No.

Uh, but I-I think I am.

Oh.

(TREVOR SIGHS)

How do you mean?

I mean that, uh... (SIGHS)

I haven't been behaving
like the person I wanna be.

Tommy, what are you talking about?

You're one of the most
kind and honest people

that I've ever met.

And I have not been as honest

or kind as you might think.

Also, um...

(SCOFFS) I...

I slept with my deceased
husband's brother last year,

and I'm not the least bit
ashamed about it.

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Well, that last part
is between you and...

- God.
- Your brother-in-law.

Right.

And it's in the past.

It is in the past, right?

Yes. Yes.

Okay, so then what is
really going on here, Tommy?

Did Melody say something to you?

This is not about her.

This is about me and I-I just...

I think it's best if we...

break up now...

before somebody gets hurt.

Hmm.

Well, it's too late for that, Tommy.

I'm so sorry, Trevor.

MELODY: Daddy!

TREVOR: Out here, sweetie.

I-I don't feel too good.

(SIGHS)

You can stop now, Melody.

Really. You won.

We just broke up.

No, it really hurts this time.

What do you mean "you won"?

And what do you mean "this time"?

(WINCES SHARPLY)

Oh, alright. Come here.

Here, sit down.

Let me take a look at you, alright?

- Can you tell me where it hurts?
- My stomach.

Alright, is it, is it a stabbing pain

or is it more like pressure?

It just keeps squeezing.

Alright, um, have you been
able to go to the bathroom

these last couple of days?

- Yes.
- TOMMY: Yeah?

And does it hurt more

on one side than the other?

No. All over.

Okay. Is it constant
or does it come in waves?

Waves.

TREVOR: Is everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah, she's just fine.

No. I'm not faking it
this time. I swear.

I know you're not, honey.

Okay, so what's going on?

Well, Melody and I just, um...

We need to have a moment alone.

Could you show me to your room?

- (WINCES)
- Okay.

(MOUTHS)

TOMMY: Everything okay in there?

MELODY: Yeah.

Almost done.

(DOOR OPENS)

Feels like I'm wearing a diaper.

I can't believe this is
gonna be the rest of my life.

Well, not your whole life.

But I'm not gonna lie,

it's no walk in the park.

Does it always hurt this much?

Heating pads help, and, uh, ibuprofen.

(GROANS, SNIFFLES)

(MELODY SOBBING)

I really wish my mom were here.

I know, honey.

I know.

Hey, you know, you're gonna

be able to speak to her real soon

and she's gonna have great advice.

You know, the thing
about your period is,

it's really just about figuring out

what works best for you.

Okay.

And I...

I know I'm probably
the last person on your list,

but you can always talk to me.

Thank you.

And...

I'm sorry for everything.

You're just the first person
my dad has dated since my mom.

And I was mad...

at him.

And you.

Oh, I know.

Believe me, I've been there.

Wait, your parents were divorced, too?

Mm-hmm.

And I may or may not
have slashed the tires

on my mom's first boyfriend's Camaro.

I knew I shouldn't have messed with you.

(TOMMY CHUCKLES)

So you broke up with my dad, huh?

I did.

Is there any way

that maybe you'd be
willing to talk to him?

You can tell him it was all my fault,

but just maybe un-dump him.

(TOMMY INHALES)

Well, I might be willing to talk to him,

but, you know,
I'm not gonna do it alone.

- (MELODY GROANS)
- Come on.

Let's go.

(PHONE BUZZES)

What is this supposed to be?

A basketball.

I thought it might help
if you picked one up.

Well, look, I appreciate what
you're trying to do here, Cap,

but I don't need exposure therapy.

I'm not afraid of basketballs.

So there was about a four-year period

when TK was little where I didn't go

to a single one of his winter concerts.

Well, I can see why you didn't wanna see

a bunch of four-year-olds
singing We Three Kings.

Yeah, well, I did wanna go.

That's the thing.
More than... than anything.

Well, why didn't you?

Because it was too painful.

I didn't wanna look at him

sitting next to some of his friends

whose dads hadn't made it out of / .

And so about the fourth year,
Gwyn just shows up at my house.

We'd long since been divorced.

And just said, "Owen, you're going,

"whether you want to or not.

You survived, but you're still
allowed to enjoy your life."

So is this your way of telling me

that it's time for me to open the door?

And I wanna show you something.

- (BALL BOUNCING)
- PAUL: Oh, man.

Now, when did you put this up?

I had the probie go
and pick it up on his shift.

You sneaky bastard.

Oh! I'd say you're
about to enjoy yourself,

- but I know you're not.
- Oh yeah, why is that?

'Cause I'm about
to take you to the hole.

OWEN: Alright, alright!
Hey, you're not gonna make that.

Since when are we a basketball house?

- I guess since now.
- PAUL: Now, you done did it.

You just brought Chicago's
second greatest sh**ting guard

out of retirement.

You comparing yourself
to Michael Jordan?

I said second.

- OWEN: Oh, there you go.
- Damn. Paul can ball.

Hey. Yo! Come on,
a little three-on-three.

I could play a little round ball.

Dad, I'm on your team.

TOMMY: Thank you.

Hmm. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

Alright. Alright. Now, that is heresy.

Who puts mango
on a cookies-and-cream base?

I think there's something
seriously wrong with your taste buds.

You know what, missy?

Don't knock it till you try it.

You know, unless you're chicken.

ALL: Ooh!

(TOMMY CLUCKS)

See, told ya.

- It's disgusting.
- (LAUGHING)

No, no!

What I meant was,

I told you we were gonna
have fun together.

Yeah, I'm starting to think you
were right about that one, too.

Check.

♪ How you like me now?

(CHEERING)

(INDISTINCT YELLING)

Oh!

NANCY: No!

MATEO: D up, D up, D up, D up!

(CHEERING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

JUDD: Alright, pass the ball.

(SCREAMING)

(CHEERING)

(INAUDIBLE)

♪