03x02 - Fatal Charm

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Starsky & Hutch". Aired: April 30, 1975 –; May 15, 1979.*
Watch/Buy Amazon  Merchandise


Streetwise Detective David Starsky partners up with a more intellectual partner, Kenneth 'Hutch' Hutchinson, to protect citizens and patrol the streets of Bay City.
Post Reply

03x02 - Fatal Charm

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[HUMMING]

♪ Pussycat went to sea In
a beautiful pea-green boat ♪

♪ They took some honey
And plenty of... money ♪

♪ Wrapped up in ♪

♪ A five-pound note ♪

♪ The owl looked to the stars
And sang to a small guitar ♪


[SIGHS]

♪ O p*ssy O p*ssy, my love ♪♪

Hey!

I got him.

Whoa, my hand!

Hold it.

I'll only be a minute.

Whoa, there!

STARSKY: The kid was
just another purse-snatcher.

Are you sure Frost didn't set
this up to rip the money off?

BOTH: Yeah. We're
sure of that, captain.

Cap, you know, I think we
ought to set this thing up again

as soon as possible.

What's he gonna say
about Linda not showing up?

I got Benny to cover that.

That's what scares me.

You can't trust a junkie snitch.

They'll put you in a cross
the first chance they get.

Yeah, I know all about it.

He's still my way to
Frost, though, isn't he?

HUTCH: Look, captain,
Frost is responsible

for more teenage junkies in
this town than anybody else.

You know that. Would you
give me a lift to the hospital?

Sure. Captain, look.

We spent almost a month
trying to set up a buy with this guy.

Now, it's not like the
whole thing should wash out

just because some
kid out of the blue

figures Linda for an easy mark.

All right, set it up again.

But for God's sake, be careful.

HUTCH: Captain...
And you, Hutchinson.

I want you to go to the
hospital. See about your hand.

Need a lift?

Thanks.

Doctor hardly even looked at it.

Shh.

You just can't get personal
service in a hospital anymore.

Would you relax, please?

There's nothing to worry about.

It's just a scratch.
You'll be okay.

It's not a scratch. There
are five stitches in there.

Okay. Okay.

It hurts.

Can't hear a thing.

What are you doing?

Look, I'm trying
to find your heart.

When that nurse comes
in to give you a sh*t,

I want you to be brave.

No screaming, no
crying, no carrying on.

I want you to be a soldier.

Got that?

Okay.

Excuse me.

Which one of you is
Officer Hutchinson?

I am.

I'm sorry, you
have to wait outside.

Right. Oh.

Okay.

Uh, hmm.

Yeah, well, if the
pain gets too bad,

bite the b*llet.

[GIGGLES]

Oh.

Let me take a look at this.

This doesn't look too bad.

Does it hurt very much?

No. No.

Well, I'm afraid
I'm going to have to

give you a big sh*t, though.

Okay?

Sure.

Uh, wrong.

Oh, the trousers, huh?

Right.

Take your best sh*t.

What are you doing?

Huh?

[SIGHS]

You scared me.

Um, I, uh...

I lost a dime.

HUTCH: Pull your arm
out of there, will you?

I'll buy you a round
down at Sullivan's.

Come on.

I'm trying!

You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.

How was the sh*t?

Did it hurt?

Not where it shows.

STARSKY: Do we really
have to go to Sullivan's?

STARSKY: I'm starting to think

this is a one-sided
relationship.

You hurt yourself, you
get to say where we go

and we end up
in a place like this

and there's no music,
there's no dancing.

There's very few ladies around.

You...

Uh-uh-uh.

Hey.

Isn't that your nurse
friend over there?

Oh, yeah. So it is.

Back in a minute, huh?

Don't hurry. I'm going to
sit and watch the lights blink.

Remember me?

Oh, hi! Sure.

Officer... Hutchinson, right?

Hutch. Sure. Hutch.

I'm Diana Harmon.

I was looking for
a girlfriend of mine.

I'm supposed to meet her here.

Oh, yeah?

But I don't know if she made it.

Well, look, um,

you're welcome to join my
partner and I down there.

Oh, I don't think so. I don't
want to impose on you.

Oh, it's no imposition.

Besides, I might have
a relapse or something

How's your hand doing?

Well, it's still there.

[CHUCKLES] Good.

You sure it's all right?

Come on. Really?

DIANA: I'm sorry
for taking so long.

Oh, that's okay.

Looks like you just moved in.

Yeah.

Pretty smart, huh?

I've just been so
busy at the hospital,

I haven't had
time to unpack yet.

But one of these days,
I'm going to get to it.

Ta-da!

Well?

Is it worth waiting for?

You look lovely.

Thank you.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Hutch...

Hmm?

I've been thinking.

Mmm?

Would you mind terribly
if we had dinner here?

I have some steaks
in the refrigerator.

Mmm-hmm.

And some wine.

Oh, well,

whatever.

Good.

What was that for?

Mmm, just for
seeing things my way.

And for being so sweet.

Oh, well...

[CHUCKLES]

Are you very hungry?

What did you have in mind?

Mmm.

A very late dinner.

Hmm?

I know it sort...
Sort of sounds funny

but in this big city,
I feel kind of safe.

The hospital's
been really good too.

You know, um, caring for
people and doing things for them.

It's really good.

Know what I mean?

I have a confession to make.

Mm. A confession, huh?

Mm-hm. Already?

You know this
afternoon in the bar,

when I said I was
waiting for a girlfriend,

I was really looking for you.

For me? Mm-hm.

Oh, well...

I don't know.

I just saw you at the hospital
and... I really liked you.

With a b*llet in my mouth?

Yeah!

And then I overheard
you and Dave talking

about where you were going

so I followed you.

Ohh.

How's that for detective work?

Not bad. Not bad.

You're not angry, are you?

Angry? Mm-hm.

I guess I ought... I ought
to be flattered, yeah?

Yes. Ah.

Benny, it's almost
:. Where's Frost?

Benny's back in town.

LINDA: Didn't you talk to him?

BENNY: Yeah, but he's
kind of bent out of shape.


He thinks you stood him up.

[SIGHS]

You got him mad at me too.

I really don't care how
bent out of shape he got.

Now, look, you convince
Frost to show up tomorrow,

or you know that nice little
possession rap, Benny?

I'm gonna get you sent up.

And you can believe that.

BENNY: Yeah, okay.

Hey, give me a break, huh?

I-I'll get him here for you.

If not tomorrow, in
the next day or so.

Snitch.

How good's his word, huh?

I'll tell you Benny's
a lot of things,

but dumb is not one of them.

He'll convince Frost
I'm safe to deal with.

Oh, man, my feet are k*lling me!

I don't know how
the girls stand them.

They don't...

spend a lot of
time on their feet.

[CLINKING AND SCRAPING]

What are you doing here?

Oh!

Well, I just thought I'd
surprise you with dinner.

But, uh, I'll just have
to make another batch.

Don't worry about the
mess, okay? I'll clean it all up.

Here.

You just drink this and relax

and I'll take care
of everything.

Wait a minute, Diana.

You know, last
night was so lovely.

I just thought about
you all day today.

And I wanted to do
something really special for you.

Diana, stop it.

Hey, what's the matter?

[SIGHS]

Hmm?

Look, you don't just break into
somebody's apartment, you know?

Well, I didn't just break in.

I told the landlord I was
your kid sister from Boston

and he just let me in!

[GIGGLES]

Hey, you're not mad, are you?

Honey...

I just wanted to please you.

STARSKY: Hello, hello, hello!

Surprise, Hutch!

Uh, Kathy!

Oh!

[CHUCKLES]

HUTCH: When did you get
in? KATHY: About an hour ago.

I'm sorry to say I'm just
on a -hour layover.

I told Dave I had to see
you. Well, I'm glad you did.

She looks pretty
good, doesn't she?

Sure does.

STARSKY: Mm-hm.

KATHY: Wow, the
place looks great!

Oh, and I see
you're keeping busy.

Oh, uh, Diana Harmon,
this is Kathy Marshall.

Hi, Diana!

Hi.

Oh, what happened?

An accident.

Well, let me help you with that.

No, it's okay. I can do it.

Oh, no. It's no trouble at all.

We'll have it
cleaned up in no time.

Well, I'm glad to see

the medical profession
is still making house calls.

House calls, huh?

What happened?

Never mind.

Well, look, we didn't
want to interrupt you,

but Kathy didn't want to call.

She insisted on surprising you.

Oh, well, that's okay.

It's my evening for surprises.

Oh? Mmm.

Mmm.

Uh, we were going to go
out for some Chinese food.

Why don't the
two of you join us?

KATHY: Oh, yeah,
that sounds like fun!

And then we could
all go dancing later.

That's a great idea.
What do you say, Hutch?

Hmm?

Is it all right with
you, Diana? Diana?

It's up to Hutch.

It's up to Hutch. Hutch?

Sure. Sounds,
uh... Sounds great.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

You guys look
terrific out there.

[CHUCKLES]

Come on, no resting.
I want to dance again.

I'm pooped.

Your turn, Hutch.

Oh, no, I've got a sore hand.

Oh, come on.

Go ahead. You can't resist her.

Well, I think I
got my wind back.

Want to dance?

Diana.

What?

Want to dance?

No. I don't dance.

[LAUGHS]

Thanks for the dance, Hutch.

[SIGHS]

Yeah, sorry about the feet.

STARSKY: Are you ready to rest?

KATHY: Just for a
minute. You're next.

STARSKY: Oh, God.

I can hardly wait.

KATHY: Oh, my God.

[SCREAMS]

Oh, no!

Ohhh.

How did I do that?

Here, use this.
Here's another one.

Well, can I help?

KATHY: I think you better
take me back to the hotel.

This is the only
outfit I brought.

Oh, then you'll have to get
it cleaned before you leave.

DIANA: What a shame.

Well, it's the only
outfit she brought.

Don't worry your
little head about it.

You'll be okay.

Take care.

KATHY: Bye!

Bye-bye.

Well, here we are.

Come on. Hm?

Aren't you going to ask
me into your apartment?

Look, Diana, I'm
b*at and it's late.

Let's make it another time.

When?

Well, I'll call you.

When?

Soon.

Next couple of days.

You're not gonna call, are you?

There's someone else.

I thought you cared.

I thought last night
really meant something.

Obviously I was wrong!
Wait a minute, Diana.

I don't understand
where you're coming from.

Well, I understand. I
think it's perfectly clear!

[ENGINE REVS]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Hutchinson, you
sure picked a winner.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

WOMAN: Hutch?

Diana?

Where are you?
Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry.

Why did you run off like that?

Look, Hutch, I don't want
to talk about that now.

I'm sorry.

But... Well, look,
I want to see you.

DIANA: Um, how
about tomorrow night?


I really want to talk to you.

[SIGHS]

I don't know, Diana. I, uh...

Well, tomorrow
night, I have to work


the late shift at the hospital

so it'll have to be early.

[SIGHS, LAUGHS]

Look...

I'll expect you at :.

[DIANA HANGS UP]

Get out of here, will you?

It's that old fatal
charm of yours.

Gets them every time.

It's not funny, Starsk.

First, she breaks
into my apartment,

then she runs off like that.

It's weird! Look...

I've only known
the girl for two days.

Invite her over to dinner,
read her the riot act

and then split.

It's that simple.

I only hope it is.

Count on me.

May I help you, madam?

Yes, I'm looking for
something for a man,

but it has to be
very, very special.

Perhaps a ring, or a watch.

A watch. That's a great idea.

Well, if you'll step
right this way, madam.

Okay.

Down at the end.

Okay.

Uh, here.

No, no, no, no.

I don't think so. Not those.

Ooh, how about one of these?

You have excellent taste, madam.

This is one of our
very finest watches.

Ooh.

I really like this one.

How much is it?

This one is $.

Oh, I think he'll
really like this one.

Can I get it engraved now?
I need it for this evening.

Certainly.

This must be a
very special gift.

Oh, it is. It's for my fiancé.

It's almost :. Looks like
Frost is going to stand her up.

I was supposed to be
at Diana's an hour ago.

[PAYPHONE RINGS]

Yeah?

All right, Benny.

That was Benny. Frost wants
to set the meet up for tomorrow.

Where?

Oh, that's the problem. He's
getting kind of cute about it.

He wants to pick
me up in his car

and the deal goes
down while we're driving.

Looks like plan B just
went into effect, huh?

We'll let the captain
know, get a hold of Huggy,

and still have time
to make a date.

Where's Linda? Where's Linda?

Oh, I had Harris take her home.

Oh. Did you call Diana?

Yeah. No answer.

Diana, I was just
trying to call you.

Oh, I bet you were.

I had someone cover
for me at the hospital

because I thought you were
in an accident or something.

Oh, no, no, no. We were
just involved in a case.

Oh, yeah? Or did you
just conveniently forget?

We had a date.

Now, wait a minute.
What's wrong with you?

Nothing's wrong with me!

I'm tired of being

lied to and used by you!

Just keep your voice down.

I don't want to
keep my voice down!

I want every one of them to
hear what you're really like.

What are you...? You
know what I'm talking about.

Your friends wouldn't think
you were such a big hero

if they knew how you treated me.

Listen. I want you
to know right now.

I will never marry you, never,
because I hate you! Hate you!

STARSKY: Diana. Diana.
Come on, now. Calm down.

Take your hands off of me!

You! You're just like him.

I'll bet you've had a big
laugh all day long, haven't you?

Like I'm some big joke!

Well, let me tell you
something about your friend.

He's not even a good lover.

Diana.

DIANA: Don't worry! I'm leaving.

But first I want
you to have this gift.

Stinking, rotten gift! I
hope you choke on it.

And don't forget you're
going to hear from me

and you're going to be sorry!

Come on. Don't you people
have something to do?

[SCREAMING ANGRILY]

Oh, my God.

Damn.

HUTCH: The girl's got to be
sick to do something like that.

I agree. Well, she needs help!

I'm not arguing with you.

Look, there's a
roll of black thread

in the second drawer on
the right side of my desk.

Starsk!

Look, what are you going to do?

You going to want to take out an
APB on her for vandalism? Hmm?

The thread, please.

Thank you.

She's dangerous. Mm-hm.

Well, she shouldn't
be on the street.

What? The thread.

Thank you.

Look, I'm no shrink, but I
think it's a possibility that...

she might have worked
out her aggression

on your place tonight.

You know, maybe you
ought to find a better place

to hide your spare key.

Talk about damaged goods.

Huggy.

Boy, that chick really
dug your pad, Hutch.

Hey, take it easy
with that, will you?

Huggy!

You're talking
about a man's heart.

Did you come up
with that jackhammer?

What do you need
a jackhammer for?

I mean, this place has
already been destroyed.

You're a million
laughs, you know that?

Don't worry. I got it.

I got the noisiest jackhammer
my cousin Mervin could dig up.

I mean, the man that
lady makes the buy from

is not going to hear nothing

but Huggy tearing
up some sidewalk.

Huggy. HUGGY: Yeah?

You hear that noise?

[TELEPHONE RINGING] Yeah.

What does it sound like to you?

A telephone.

Answer it.

Are you sure you want to go
ahead with this jackhammer idea?

Starsky, trust me.
It's a stroke of genius.

Stroke of genius, huh?

Uh, devastated domicile.

Get Hutch, will you? It's Linda.

Hutch, it's your
lady cop friend.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Linda?

Listen, Hutch, I just
heard from Benny.

Now, Frost wants the
deal to go down in an hour.

Are we ready?

We're all set. Where are you?

LINDA: I'm in my nook.

Uh, I'll be there in minutes.

It's going down.

You Frost?

FROST [OVER SPEAKER]: Hey. Benny
didn't tell me what a good-looker you were.


You got the money, sweetheart?

No, not on me.

What are you trying to pull?

I ain't jumping in your
car with five grand.

Now, the deal
goes down like this.

You drive me to
my friend's house,

I go in, I get the bread,

I come out, then we
make the exchange.

I don't like doing
business like that.

All right, forget it, man.

Wait a minute.

Okay.

We'll do it your way.

This time.

But only because I like you.

I wouldn't buy a used
car from that lady.

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[JACKHAMMER CLATTERING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

LINDA: Right over
there. Right there.

[JACKHAMMER CLATTERING]

There it is, across the street.

I'll be right back.

Don't try nothing cute.

What? Forget it.

[JACKHAMMER
CLATTERING SPORADICALLY]

Don't do that to me, huh?

Uh, let's give Starsky a minute.

Okay. Go.

Hey, give me, baby.

Where's mine?

All right, we did our
business. I'm getting outta here.

Wait a minute. I want a count.

It's all there.

Police! You're under arrest.

You did me pretty
good, didn't you, baby?

I won't forget it!

That's the idea.

Ticklish?

Whew! That was
a good bust, boys.

I'll tell you, we work
so well together.

We should do it again sometime.

Hey, you weren't
too bad yourself.

Yeah, I'd trade him
in for you any time.

I don't know if I'd
do that if I were you.

Now, let me outta here.

I'll see you guys in court, huh?

You got it. Okey-dokey.

All right. Behave yourself.

Are you kidding me? See you.

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER]

Knowing how you
feel about Linda,

I'm going to assign
you to her case.

Who found her, captain?

Neighbor next door saw
the door open, looked in.

Was the lock forced?

No.

Whoever it was,
they didn't break in.

Did you speak to the manager?

Mrs. Shaunessy? She's out.

Haven't been able
to locate her yet.

You two have any ideas?

Look, how could I
have done it to her?

You guys had just busted me.

Everyone's allowed
a phone call, Frost.

But I'm telling you, I didn't.

I don't even know
where the broad lives.

You threatened her.

You said, "I'm gonna get you."

How many times do I have
to tell you? A figure of speech.

Can I see you a second?

Sure.

FROST: Hey.

How about a cigarette?

Bad for your health.

Looks like for once in his
life he's telling the truth.

What do you mean?

I checked records.

He was being booked at the
same time Linda was beaten.

Yeah, but that doesn't
mean that he couldn't have...

He didn't have
access to a phone.

Yeah, but, still, he
could have had a...

[SIGHS]

Well, I guess that
lets him off the hook.

Yeah, I guess so.

How's Linda?

She's still in surgery.

Look, why don't you go
home and get some Zs?

I'll wrap up here, we'll pick
this thing up in the morning.

Go ahead.

You'll call me on Linda? Yeah.

So far, so good.

[WATER RUNNING]

Where's your partner, Starsky?

I sent him home.

You did what?

I sent him home.

He didn't get much
sleep last night.

I'm going to put an APB out
on his girlfriend, that nurse.

What?

The manager over at Linda's
apartment just got home.

Said she let a girl in
there this afternoon

just before Linda was att*cked.

The girl said she was
her sister from Boston.

Sound familiar?

Oh, my God.

Why would she do
something like that?

Hutch.

What are you doing?

If she went after Linda like
that, Hutch might be next.

[RINGS]

It's too late.

He'll be dead
before you get here.

Uh...

[DIANA HANGS UP]

Cap.

Get the closest
black-and-white to Hutch's

as soon as you can.

[SCREAMS]

[LOCK CLICKS]

Diana?

Diana?

Why?

Why do you want
to hurt me, Diana?

Dia...

Remember our first night?

Diana.

Please come out.

Please?

Let's talk.

Diana?

[SCREAMS]

DIANA: Liar! Liar!

Liar!

You liar!

[SIRENS WAILING]

[DIANA YELLING]

DIANA: Argh!

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

[SCREAMS]

I loved you! I loved you!

I loved you!

Diana!

Everybody loves you.

Why can't you love me?

You don't think this is
the end, do you? Do you?

Do...? Do you?

[DIANA YELLS]

You okay?

Hutch?

Hutch.

Where are you going?

I think I'll sit down.

Not yet.

Come on.

HUTCH: Why don't you
put some ketchup on that?

Make it taste better.

Nah!

Man, there ain't enough
ketchup in the entire world.

That's hospital food.

Look, why don't you be a sport

and sneak me out to that
Mexican joint down the street, huh?

Hey, I'd be glad
to take the lady out.

No, she's not going anywhere.

Certainly not to Pancho Villa's,

and certainly not until
we get a doctor's okay.

Oh, come on. Give
the lady a break.

Yeah, I'd k*ll for a
taco, burrito, enchilada,

with guacamole.

You know, every
night I'm up here,

every night I hear the same...

Same thing.

Yeah, well, tonight
you're taking me out.

No, I'm not. Oh, yes, you are.

Oh, no, I'm not.

LINDA: Hey, captain.

Oh, thanks.

How's my favorite officer?

All right. How are things
going at the station without me?

Not so good.

The commissioner saddled
me with a bill for $.

Seems like one of my men tore
up a sidewalk with a jackhammer.

Oh, that was a stroke
of genius. How's that?

I was just saying, did
you find out who did it yet?

No, I don't.

But when I do find out,

he's gonna be walking a b*at
where he tore up that sidewalk

from five to life.
"Five to life"?

Starsky, you said on the phone

you might know who it is.

I did.

Oh, uh...

Uh, well... Uh, cap, um...

What do you know
about it, Hutchinson?

Nothing.

Oh, uh... Well, uh...

STARSKY: Captain, actually...

Hutch, um...

was just trying to
drag the three of us out

for a big, huge Mexican dinner.

His treat.

My treat.

[♪♪♪]
Post Reply