03x18 - Walkabout

[bunniefuu]

A Narn heavy cruiser?
This is intolerable!

By treaty, all Narn warships
will be turned over to Centauri forces.

We didn't sign that treaty.
You got a problem, call Earth.

If they hadn't forced us to break away,
we wouldn't need protection.

- We take every ship we can get.
- And what guarantees will you give me...

...the cruiser will not open fire on a Centauri
vessel as it approaches Babylon 5?

The same guarantee I gave when I said
that none of the Narns...

...would break into your quarters
in the night and slit your throat.

Mr. Garibaldi, you have
never given me that promise.

You're right.

Sleep tight.

- Can I help you?
- Yes, I'm looking for Dr. Franklin.

I'm afraid he's not here.

He's taken a personal leave of absence
from his post as chief of staff.

Is there something I can do for you?

I just arrived, and I heard
about Ambassador Kosh.

I was hoping someone
could tell me what happened.

I'm afraid that information is confidential.

Look, I know he is dead.
I'm not gonna say anything to anyone.

I was just--
I am his--

I was his aide.

I was wondering if anyone was there
when it happened. If--

- Did anyone speak to him?
- No, I'm sorry.

By the time we were called in,
it was too late.

All right. Thank you.

Chief, you're just in time.

The Vorlon transport carrying their new
ambassador came through the jumpgate.

- What's up?
- Captain wants to convene...

...the w*r Council.
Figured I'd give you a heads up.

The way the day has been going,
I'll take whatever advance warning I can get.

Get the captain on the link.
Tell him the Vorlon ship's about to dock.

- I can do that.
- Why?

I'd just prefer to. That's all.

Okay. What is it?

With everything that's been going on...

...he just needed to get out a little,
stretch his legs a bit. So he took a walk...

...outside on the forward cargo stabilizers.

The Babylon Project was our last,
best hope for peace.

It failed.

But in the year of the Shadow w*r,
it became something greater...

...our last, best hope for victory.

The year is 2260.
The place, Babylon 5.

I thank you for this, G'Kar.

We've been on the run for so long,
I haven't tasted fresh food for months.

Well, it's not the hero's welcome
you deserve, but it will do for now.

Breen.

You've managed to import breen
from Homeworld. How?

It isn't actually breen.

- The smell, the taste--
- It's an Earth food.

They are called Swedish meatballs.

It's a strange thing,
but every sentient race...

...has its own version
of these Swedish meatballs.

I suspect it's one of those
great universal mysteries...

...which will either never be explained
or which would drive you mad...

...if you ever learned the truth.

So, Na'Kal, have you been able to determine
how many of our ships survived the w*r?

The Centauri and their allies
were quite thorough, G'Kar.

We estimate no more than 10.
A mix of dreadnoughts...

...heavy cruisers, medium warships.

Fortunately, the Centauri
were in such a hurry to reach Homeworld...

...they left some of our ships disabled,
but not destroyed.

Most are being repaired now,
cannibalizing one to fix another.

- What of your ship, Na'Kal?
- The "G'Tok" is fully functional.

Had we not been given shelter
by Capt. Sheridan...

...during the last days of the w*r,
the story might have been very different.

When do we strike back?

We don't.

Not until we have repaired
the other ships.

For now, the most important thing we can do
is lend our forces to protect this place.

Because if Babylon 5 falls,
we all fall with it.

I thought Garibaldi was going to be here.

He was, and then I told him
what I noticed in the maintenance log.

Dr. Franklin hasn't been in or out
of his quarters in three, almost four days.

- Has anyone seen him lately?
- No, that's what's got Garibaldi worried.

Ever since he resigned Medlab,
he just hasn't been the same.

- I think he's in a lot of pain.
- Damn, I should have gone to see him.

Well, when he told me he was
hooked on stims, I didn't know what to say.

I was floored.

Then everything got nuts,
as it always does.

That's no excuse. I hope he's okay.

Garibaldi said he'd link in
as soon as he found out anything.

Welcome to Babylon 5, ambassador.
I'm Capt. John Sheridan.

This is my second,
Cmdr. Susan Ivanova.

Thank you for coming.

I wish we could have met
under better circumstances.

I didn't know Ambassador Kosh
as well as I might have wished.

I'm not sure anyone did, really.

But we were enriched by his presence,
and we are all diminished by his loss.

As per your government's request,
we've kept Kosh's death a secret...

...known only to the command staff
and those Medlab personnel directly involved.

To avoid damaging the fragile alliance
that we've created here...

...they have asked us
to maintain that secret.

So now I understand,
for all intents and purposes...

...you are to take Kosh's place.

You will occupy his quarters,
and we are to refer to you...

...by his name when we're in public.
Is that correct?

Well, then, we will show you the way.

Ivanova will brief you on anything
you need to know.

Before you go...

...your government neglected
to tell me your name.

How should I refer to you
when we're alone?

Kosh.

Yes, I understand that's how we're
to refer to you publicly, but privately?

- Kosh.
- Ambassador Kosh is dead.

We are all Kosh.

- Well, he's a Vorlon, all right.
- Yep.

- Stephen.
- Michael.

I was wondering when you'd
get around to looking for me.

How'd you find me?

You've been using your credit chit
to buy food, supplies...

...and traveling in a straight line.

So I figured I'd jump ahead of that line
and hit the first open market.

- What the hell are you doing?
- Well, it's a long story. You want some?

No. Why is everything
around here a long story?

Why isn't anything
ever a short story, a paragraph?

- Look, just give me the short version, okay?
- All right. Walkabout.

- That's it?
- Hey, it's that or the long version.

So, you know, you take your pick.

Oh, okay. Okay.

As a Foundationist,
I was always taught...

...that if you're not careful,
you can lose yourself in the world.

You get too busy with things,
not busy enough with yourself.

Spend your days and nights
living someone else's agendas...

...fighting someone else's battles
and doing the work...

...you're supposed to be doing, but every day
there's less and less of you in it all.

Till one day you come
to a fork in the road...

...and because you're distracted,
you're not thinking. You lose yourself.

You go right, and the rest of you,
the really important part of you, goes left.

You don't even know you've done it
till you realize, you finally realize...

...that you don't have any idea who you are
when you're not doing all those things.

Stephen, you don't really believe
there are two of you. Do you?

No, it's a metaphor. All right?

There isn't another me
walking around the station...

...but the principle is real.

I realized I didn't have any idea who I was
when I wasn't being a doctor...

...and I think I was using the stims
to avoid facing that.

Now I gotta fix it.

- How?
- By going walkabout.

You just leave everything,
and you start walking.

I mean, the Foundation adopted the idea
from the aborigines back on Earth.

The theory is,
if you're separated from yourself...

...you start walking
and you keep walking till you meet yourself.

Then you sit down,
and you have a long talk.

Talk about everything that you've learned,
everything that you've felt...

...and you talk until you've run out of words.
Now, that's vital...

...because the real important things
can't be said.

And then, if you're lucky,
you look up and there's just you.

Then you can go home.

You know how crazy this sounds?

You're a doctor, a scientist.

- And?
- And what?

Exactly.

I had heard you arrived.
I was just coming to see you.

- Where?
- I'm sorry.

I wasn't here.

I was doing what he told me to do.

He wasn't with me when I left...

...not even a piece of him.

I swear!

Failed.

Gone.

I know. I'm sorry.

It's my fault.

There was no other?

No.

Not that I knew of.

I'm sorry.

He's gone.

Follow.

How are you settling in
with the new ambassador?

Fine.

Fine.

I sense a little hesitation.

Despite their strengths,
the Vorlons are a delicate people.

They do not react well to change,
and they're not very forgiving of mistakes.

It's been a long time since one of them
has d*ed. They're taking it pretty hard.

It's understandable.

I had a hunch this was the case.

Who knows how long
one of them lives normally?

I mean, if anything about them
can be called normal.

Well, if you do have any problems
with the ambassador...

...I hope you will let me know.

Is there a problem?

What?

- I said, is there a problem?
- No, no.

- Everything's fine. Is there anything else?
- Yes.

There is something I need you to do.

Hi, I'm gonna have this.

Thank you for coming.
Please be seated.

As you know...

...Mr. Garibaldi recently
uncovered information...

...which seems to indicate
the Shadows have a weakness.

Now, their ships
are based on organic technology...

...which may be vulnerable
to telepathic interference.

In theory, a telepath
might be able to jam...

...their central operating system,
leaving them vulnerable to att*ck.

I noticed a number
of conditional phrases in that:

"Seems to indicate a weakness,"
"may be vulnerable," "in theory."

Exactly. Maybe we're right,
maybe we ain't.

Unfortunately, w*r doesn't
tolerate ambiguities.

We have to find out if we're right.

So I have decided to test the proposition.

In a few hours,
I'll be leaving on the "White Star".

I've asked our only resident telepath, Lyta
Alexander, to come along. She has agreed.

We'll take up position in hyperspace.
As soon as we hear of a Shadow att*ck...

...we'll jump out and engage
one of their fleet ships.

We will attempt to jam it...

...and then destroy it.

The last two times that we ran
into Shadow vessels...

...the only way we got out alive
was by outsmarting them.

We used Jupiter's gravity to destroy one
and blew up a jumpgate to k*ll another.

- We've never tried a head- on confrontation.
- Which makes this mission essential.

Now, to minimize our losses,
I'll take a skeleton crew.

Mr. Lennier, since I'll need a translator,
you'd be an asset...

...but the choice is yours.

Of course. I would be honored.

There is a second part
to this experiment.

Even if we succeed in jamming
one of those ships...

...the "White Star" may not have
the firepower to destroy it.

If any of you could send along
one of your ships as escort....

Only the "G'Tok" is capable
of a mission of this nature.

I will have to discuss this
with her captain.

Fair enough.

- Delenn?
- Consider it done.

Good.

Anyone else?

Captain, I do have one concern.

We do not know how strong
a telepath has to be...

...to jam a Shadow vessel,
or how many are necessary.

- Lyta is a P- 5. She may not be strong enough.
- I agree.

If you're determined to do this,
I recommend backup.

Bring along a couple of Minbari telepaths
on the other ship.

If things aren't working, bring them
into range and see if it makes a difference.

I'm trying to minimize the risks.

You're not minimizing any risk
if you don't bring back solid information.

This way, we'll know what we need
to shut these things down.

- I agree.
- Good.

- All agreed say aye.
- Aye.

- Opposed?
- Nay.

The ayes have it. The w*r Council
has spoken. You'll do it our way.

You look like you're waiting
for somebody.

I was.

Well, what happened?

She just got here.

It doesn't look like
you're from this part of town.

What's your story? Thanks.

You a businessman?

Are you flying in, checking out
the low- rent spots for action-- ?

- I live here.
- Oh, yeah?

- I'm a doctor.
- Yeah?

Yeah, my mama always told me
to marry a doctor.

I just could never find one
with the right equipment.

You know, I saw you watching me
up there...

...and it was like two lasers
shining out in the night.

- I'm sorry.
- No, don't be.

I mean, once I got used to the glare,
you know, I kind of liked it.

You know, you're good.

I mean, you are really good.

You're too good for a place like this.
That's for sure.

- So, what's your name?
- Stephen.

I had a old boyfriend named Stephen...

...and he tore my heart
down one side and up the other.

- So you're gonna be Steve.
- Steve. All right.

- And I'm Cailyn.
- Cailyn.

And I am proud and honored
to make your acquaintance.

Na'Kal, good.
Thank you for coming. I know it's late.

- Did you get my message?
- I did.

- Your opinion?
- Sheridan is embarking upon a fool's mission.

We recovered records from our fleet's
last battle with these Shadow vessels.

- They never had a chance.
- He thinks he has one now.

Perhaps...

...but our few remaining ships are our
only hope of ever reclaiming Homeworld.

We cannot waste them on fool's missions.

But if we withdraw our support...

...the odds of his returning to Babylon 5
are considerably smaller.

We cannot squander our resources, G'Kar.

If he dies...

...then he dies.

Ship's log:

We're en route to Sector 90
by 110 by 47.

There have been three Shadow att*cks
in this area in the last week...

...so the odds are good
they'll hit again soon.

The second we hear anything,
we will jump to normal space.

I'd feel better about this if we had a few
more ships, but we can't wait any longer.

I just hope this works.

Why do you keep doing that?

I'm looking at your soul.
I have a theory...

...that light passes through us, refracting
our soul, mind and body like a rainbow.

And if I get the glass at the right angle...

...I can see through to someone's soul.

- What do you see?
- Just pieces.

It hasn't worked yet.

Well, maybe it worked better
than you think it did.

What are you doing here?

I don't quite know myself.

That's the wrong answer.

You're supposed to say that you're here
to spend the night with a beautiful woman.

I am?

You could be.

Yes, yes! What? Come in!

- I brought back your damn book.
- Surely this can wait until--

- Why should I care what is in it if you don't?
- You're not making sense.

No? What the hell
is that Narn ship still doing here?

I discussed the situation
with Warleader Na'Kal.

He felt it was better
to conserve our resources.

- Did he? Well, how practical of him.
- Oh, now--

No, no, no! Never mind. You're right.
He's right. Everybody's right.

Let's just look out for ourselves.

When that cruiser came out of hyperspace,
we should've done the same.

We should have just let the Centauri
take custody of it...

...instead of sending out our ships
and our pilots to defend it.

- Well, he doesn't want to go.
- Of course he doesn't.

It's easy to fight
when you got a lot of ships.

The real crunch comes
when you're down to almost nothing.

Then you either play it safe and you
probably lose it all, or you take a chance.

After what we've been through
with your people...

...Sheridan was crazy to send
our pilots to fight for you.

They didn't want to get
blown out of the sky...

...and leave B5 defenseless,
and they sure didn't want to die!

But they did it because Sheridan
told them to do it and because it was right.

- This time it is possible he could be wrong.
- Yeah, it's possible...

...but you don't follow orders because
you know it's gonna work.

You do what you're told
because your CO...

...has the moral authority
that says you may not come back.

But the cause is just and fair
and necessary.

That's why Sheridan is out there...

...and, damn it, that's where
that cruiser should be too.

It's not Na'Kal's decision, G'Kar.
He doesn't see the big picture. You do.

So in my book...

...and your book, that makes it
your responsibility. Deal with it.

It's not right, you living here like this.

- You could do so much better.
- No.

I am where I am, and it is what it is.

But I could help.

Look, I'm okay.

I'm not a wounded bird.

I know.

I know.

I just wish there was something I could do.

Well, there is.

What?

- Metazine.
- Metazine?

- That's prescription only. It's a narcotic.
- I know. It helps me sleep.

Well...

...you could sleep a lot better
if you didn't drink as much as you do.

Look, you asked if there
was anything you could do.

No. Look, ask me anything
else but that. Okay?

Okay.

Worried?

A little.

I've never done anything like this before.

Well, if it helps, neither have I.

In the grand scheme of things,
this is one hell of a lab experiment.

While we're waiting,
can I ask you a question?

sh**t.

How did you find out Kosh had d*ed?

It was strange.

I woke up out of a dream,
and I just knew somehow.

At least once before,
Kosh had touched my mind.

I guess it left me sensitive enough
to feel it when he was k*lled.

Why?

No reason.

I guess...

...I'm just feeling guilty
because I wasn't there when it all happened.

You couldn't have done anything.

No one could.

Captain, we're picking up a distress signal
from a relay post in the target area.

Is it them?

- Yes.
- All right.

Stand by to jump
to normal space on my mark.

Tell the Minbari ship to stand by
in hyperspace until we signal.

You ready?

As ready as I'll ever be.

Take us in, Mr. Lennier.

I need to be on a line of sight
for this to work.

Bring us around.

Lyta?

No! No! No! No! No!

Captain, the ship is changing course,
coming in on att*ck vector.

I think it knows we're here.

The Shadow vessel is approaching
optimum f*ring range.

- Lyta, listen to me. I need you to focus.
- I can't.

Should we jump to hyperspace
or call in our other ship?

Lyta. Lyta.

Kosh!

They k*lled him.

They tore him apart.

Burn, you bastard.

- Mr. Lennier?
- It's not moving.

If you're gonna do something,
do it now.

All power to the forward batteries,
Mr. Lennier.

One focused continuous burst.

Now.

More power to the weapons system,
Mr. Lennier.

Let's see what it takes
to k*ll one of these things.

I'll have to take the jump engines off- line...

...but if I do, we won't be able
to make a jump for 20 standard minutes.

Proceed.

Keep it going, Mr. Lennier.

I'm all right. I'm all right.
I just need a moment.

Yeah.

Can you tell me what you felt?

I could feel it shifting around
in my mind, trying to slip away.

- I almost lost it twice.
- It's all right now.

- We found out what we came to find out.
- No, it's not all right.

I tried to stop it, but I think it got off
a distress call before we k*lled it.

- How much longer before we can jump?
- Another 10 standard minutes.

I'm still building the power back up.

I'm picking up a local disturbance.
It reads like a jump point opening.

- Is it the Minbari ship?
- I don't think so.

We've got four, repeat,
four Shadow vessels.

They don't want us to get out of here alive
with what we know.

- Are you sure we can't jump?
- Positive.

- Then we have a problem.
- Yes, sir.

Run for it.

Capt. Sheridan.

- Yes, captain.
- "We've monitored your situation."

Moving to intercept.

- How many telepaths do you have onboard?
- "Three."

- There are four of those ships.
- "We'll do what we can."

One's getting through. Evasive action!

- Can we fire?
- Weapons system at 60 percent of normal.

- Not enough to hurt it.
- lf there is anything you can do...

...now would be a good time.

That last one took everything I had.

I can't get through.

Shadow vessel locking on.
Their weapons are at full strength.

We're not gonna make it.

Bring us around fast.

- lf we can add our firepower to theirs....
- Coming about.

"This is G'Kar to" White Star.
Are you all right?

Yes, for now. Thanks for coming.

"Oh, I'm not on the" G'Tok", captain."

And I brought some friends.

They ran.

Yes, they did, Mr. Lennier.

They did indeed.

And so it begins.

Cailyn?

Hey, Cailyn?

Come on, Cailyn. Wake up.
Wake up, Cailyn!

Cailyn, come on now. Wake up.
Cailyn, you hear me?

Come on, Cailyn!

- It's good to see you back, doctor.
- I'm not.

I'm just making sure that she's okay.
What's the prognosis?

She'll be okay.
We've got her on a Metazine drip now--

Metazine? Are you out of your mind?
That's what put her here.

Doctor, it wasn't an overdose.

What are you talking about? I saw the vial.
I found her unconscious.

The vial hadn't been opened yet.

She used your Identicard
to get the Metazine...

...from a dispensary
because she couldn't afford it.

Then she came back to her quarters
and passed out before she could use it.

Passed out from what?

The pain.

- I'm sorry. I thought you knew.
- Knew what?

She was diagnosed with terminal neural
paralysis a little over two years ago...

...just before you got here. Incurable.

She took it pretty hard.

She had a pretty good career
going back home as a singer.

Dr. Kyle handled the diagnosis.

Why...? Why wasn't I told?

We assumed she'd gone back to Earth.

We don't generally track patients
after they leave here.

I mean, what she's still doing here
is anybody's guess.

How much time does she have left?

Given her current condition...

...six months, maybe seven.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How you doing?
- They're giving me the VIP treatment.

You didn't tell me you were
such a big sh*t around here.

Well....

- How do I look?
- Like hell.

Why didn't you tell me, Cailyn?

Singing is the only thing
that's ever meant a damn to me.

It let's me know I'm alive.

I see what it does to people.

I can touch them
all the way from the stage.

I can make them laugh
and cry and fall in love.

You can do that at home just as well as here,
and you can get better care too.

It wouldn't make a difference.

Good care or bad, with the time
I've got left, it won't change much.

But the people you got living
in Downbelow, Steve...

...they're at the end of their ropes...

...maybe some of them,
the end of their lives.

They came out here with hope,
and they saw it die right before their eyes.

But they come and they listen to me...

...and for a moment, you can see
the hope in their eyes again.

- I can make a difference.
- Till you die.

Yeah, but we are all
gonna die from something.

I just needed something
to help me get through the pain.

And that's why I took your card.

Don't send me away, Steve.

I couldn't bear it.

You give her whatever she needs
for as long as she needs it. All right?

- You're sure you're all right?
- I'm fine.

Well, I'd still like you to stop by Medlab
and let them take a look at you.

All right. I will. Excuse me.

Before, I told you
I don't have a piece of Kosh.

But it's possible-- I don't know for sure,
but it may be someone else does.