05x08 - Day of the Dead

[bunniefuu]

Anything to declare?

I have nothing to declare,
my dear man, except my genius!

And I have nothing to declare
except Rebo's genius either.

Zooty-zoot, zoot, zoot!

- They're through immigration.
- What do you know...

...about Brakiri religious customs?
- Let's see...

- Not a thing.
- All I know is they hate comets.

Even mentioning a comet to a Brakiri
is some kind of awful taboo.

- Death. It's a symbol of death.
- Why?

They want me to sell them a piece
of Babylon 5...

...just for tonight,
for religious reasons.

It reminds me of my senior ex-wife.

- What is it?
- Candy.

Only for carbon-based life forms
who can metabolize sugar.

Otherwise, it's decorative ornament.

How much?

You are Centauri emperor-to-be...

...in universe today.
Him?

I am Londo Mollari.

Tell me, noble Mollari...

...who would you meet of those
who have gone before us?

Of the dead?

I would meet the first emperor.

I have several bones to pick with him.

They are a gift.

- Oh, no.
- I insist.

May the comet bring you wisdom
this night.

Yes.

They are an aid of what?

A Brakiri harvest festival?

Tonight is the Day of the Dead.

Tonight the dead return.

And so it begins.

- There is a hole in your mind.
- What do you want?

No one here is exactly what he appears.

Nothing's the same anymore.

Commander Sinclair is being reassigned.

Why don't you eliminate
the entire Narn Homeworld?

I see a great hand
reaching out of the stars.

President Clark signed a decree
declaring martial law.

These orders have forced us
to declare independence.

Unless your people get off their
encounter-suited butts and do something...

You're The One who was.

Why are you here?

I think of my beautiful city
in flames.

- Giants in the playground.
- Get out of our galaxy!

We are here to place President Clark
under arrest.

Yes?

Lennier!

What a wonderful surprise.

Well, I thought you were in deep space.

I'm between training cycles.

Well, look at you.
You look so good.

Anla'shok training must agree with you.

- How long will you be staying?
- Not long.

It is the Brakiri Day of the Dead.
I could not miss it.

I will confess.
I have never heard of this festival.

I read an account of it
when I was a young priest.

It has always haunted me.

It occurs one night,
roughly every 200 years.

The Brakiri contemplate and honor
those who've gone beyond.

But there have been some very strange
stories told of this night.

I had a few days' leave coming...

...and Babylon 5 is easier
to visit than Brakir...

...so I came to learn.

- Your partner, he's well?
- My husband.

Yes, he's very well.

Right now he's hosting
a cocktail party...

...for Rebo and Zooty.

Yeah, later tonight,
we are having dinner with them.

Rebo and Zooty are here?
Zoot, zoot?

This is truly a day of wonders.

Humor is truly a universal element...

...like hydrogen.

The two people who have honored us
with their visit today...

...have brought joy to so many.

They were born under other names...

...but they are known
across the universe...

...as Rebo and Zooty.

Zooty-zoot, zoot!

Now, with all the trauma
that we have endured lately...

...it gives me enormous pleasure
to confer upon them...

...the freedom of Babylon 5.

I have written a speech,
which I will recite in English...

...and which Zooty has translated
by himself...

...with his machine...

...into his own universal language.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. President...

...alien races with ears,
alien races without ears...

...and Zooty's friend Bingo,
the invisible fish.

We...

We have...

Oh, this is a moment you can tell
your children about, captain.

I'll get on to having some right away.

What?

I said I have an appointment
with the Brakiri ambassador.

I'm on my way.

- Long life to you.
- And to you, ambassador.

Here, for you.

The skull is for eating.

The comet is a gift
from all the Brakiri on Babylon 5.

It is of great religious significance.
You must not refuse it.

Well, it's very beautiful.
Thank you.

I must, of course, report the gift.

I've taken your request under advisement
in my capacity as captain of Babylon 5...

And everything is okay?

We can purchase Babylon 5
for the Brakiri?

It must be ours by sunset.

Well, it's certainly an unusual request.

We can normally only rent space
around here.

But we must buy it.

If we rent it, it is not Brakiri.
It's yours, not ours.

- We'll give it back. It's yours at sunrise.
- I understand that, ambassador.

In this case, I can understand
that an exception might need to be made.

Just my own personal curiosity...

...it's the Day of the Dead,
but it takes place at night?

Brakiri are night-dwelling.

I see.

- Well, everything seems to be in order.
- Captain!

Please forgive this intrusion.
I just realized what was happening.

G'Kar, as you can see, I'm rather busy.
I believe you know Ambassador Kullenbrak.

- He's here to...
- I know! That is why I came.

I strongly advise you
against this transaction.

It is dangerous and foolish and unwise.

Religious toleration is foolish?

This is not a matter of toleration.

You do not know what you are doing.

The Declaration of Principles
of the Alliance...

- You are familiar with it, I trust.
- I wrote it!

It states that religious belief
shall be sacrosanct.

Captain, I repeat, you do not know
what you are doing.

I believe the captain knows exactly
what she is doing.

And I, and all the Brakiri
on Babylon 5, appreciate it.

I'm sorry, G'Kar.

Shall we?

Now, you understand that there is only
one comet in the Brakiri solar system...

...and it signals the Day of the Dead.

The comet represents death to all Brakiri,
and the line that we make here...

...shows us Brakiri territory.

That's completely fascinating,
ambassador.

Fascinating, exactly.

Now I am standing on Brakiri Homeworld
until planetary sunrise.

Now I am standing on Babylon 5.

Now I am on Brakir.
Now Babylon 5.

So my quarters are on the Brakiri side
of the corridor...

...with my bed in them
and a shower...

...and I hear them calling me.

Come in, come in.

This is Delenn, my wife and the head
of the advisory board for the Alliance.

Madam, we are Rebo and Zooty.

What did you say?

You see, Minbari humor is based
not on physical danger...

...or embarrassment or rejection,
like human humor...

...but rather on the failure to obtain
emotional or spiritual enlightenment.

You see, ailecococ means
both a small fish...

...and the pleasure you get meeting
someone for the first time.

You've studied Minbari humor?

Yeah, Minbari humor, Narn humor,
most forms of humor.

What's for dinner?
Something smells great.

You know, I was really hoping
to talk to Zooty...

...you know,
without the machine.

Yeah, he never breaks character,
not even around me.

In 10 years, I've only heard him
say one word without the machine.

- What's the word?
- Why?

- Oh, just curious.
- No, no. That was the word, "why."

In 10 years, I haven't figured it out myself.

John?

Coming, yeah.

And now more laughs in
The Best of Rebo and Zooty!

We do what we always do, Rebo.

We'll drive off that bridge
when we come to it!

Zooty, you're my hero.

Zooty-zoot!

We return to our Rebo and Zooty
movie marathon...

... with Sons of the New Desert.

Rebo, is that your ass or mine?

My quarters are within
the Brakiri territory...

...therefore I would like
to sleep here tonight.

- I will not be in the way.
- Well...

Sure.

Looks like a quiet night.

Looks can be deceptive.

Do not wake me.

But, Rebo, the man in the store
said it was a special kind of carrot...

... and that was why it whistled.

Zooty, for you, 50,000 years
of human civilization...

... was just something that happened
to other people, wasn't it?

Lochley here,
what's happening?

So...

When you were emperor,
it meant something.

Subduer of the Xon and the Shuggren.

Now...

...anyone can be emperor.

I can be emperor.
Vir can be emperor.

If Vir can be emperor...

...a small Earth cat can be emperor.

Come on, talk to me.

It's the Day of the Dead.

No? Nothing to say?

Course not.

The dead stay dead.

Hello, Londo.

I came back.

Adira?

Adira Tyree?

My Adira?

But you are dead.

I saw your body.

You were poisoned.

It is you.

I k*lled the man that k*lled you.
Do you know that?

But it didn't bring you back.
I am to be emperor.

I am the savior of our people.

But...

...I think that I would
give it all away...

...to have you back...

...to have you beside me.

Oh, Londo.

My darling.

My poor, wonderful darling.

Oh, I missed you so.

All right, whoever's in there,
come out with your hands up.

It'd be easier if you came in
with me, Michael.

You could soap my back.

It feels so good.

You have no idea how much
I missed hot water.

You got a robe, cutie?

Dodger.

It can't be.

Look at you.

You got old.

I tell you, I turn my back on you
for five minutes, and you got old.

I thought you'd be pleased
to see me.

But I thought you were dead.

You know,
the reports of my death...

...they weren't even exaggerated
a little bit.

Yeah, I'm dead.

But you know, I missed you.

And how often do dead people
get second chances?

What are you?

Some kind of robot or a clone?

This has gotta be a Psi sting.

Bester. Bester. Another one
of his dirty little tricks, right?

Michael, it's no one's dirty little trick.

It's just me.

Happy Day of the Dead.

Sheridan, then.

Sorry, that location is out of range.

Lizzie? Is that you?

Where is this place?

Zoe?

Oh, my God.

Zoe.

Zoe, do you know
how you got here?

How long has it been?

Twenty years.

I came back to the apartment,
and I found you.

You were on the floor
in the bathroom...

...and you had cockroaches
all over you.

You choked on your...

You'd been...

Oh, Zoe.

Sorry.

You said the stuff would k*ll me, huh?

Wanna say, "I told you so"?
You can if you want.

So then what happened?

After you d*ed, I got scared.

I called my mom back home...

...and 10 hours later,
my dad turned up...

...with half a dozen off-duty marines
from his platoon to take me back.

You know what?

Even after everything he'd done...

...I was glad to see him.

Then I enlisted in Earthforce Cadet Corps.

And now I run a space station...

...and I worry about the daily problems
of a quarter million life forms.

- We're in space?
- Yeah.

Cool.

Zoe...

...there was something I've always
wondered ever since you were...

You know...

Did you do it on purpose...

...or was it an accident?

I don't remember.

Hey, have you got any stuff
around here?

- We could have a little party.
- I stopped when you d*ed.

You don't party?

Jeez, Lizzie,
what'd you grow up to be?

We had such fun, didn't we?

Didn't we have such fun?

No, we were cold and sick...

...and we were hungry all the time.

We did things to survive.

I've done my best to forget.

Lived in that b*rned-out hotel.

I was scared all the time
my father was gonna find me.

No, no.

It was bad.

Yeah, but...

...we still had fun.

Are you a ghost?

I don't think so.

I don't believe in ghosts.

Anyway, I need to use the restroom.

Well, maybe you were transported here
in time, before you d*ed.

I d*ed.

I do remember that a little bit.

It was bad, Lizzie.

- Yes?
- Need to talk to you privately, Mr. President.

All right.

I won't be long.
Please enjoy the kreebish.

Go ahead, lieutenant.

There seems to be
a slight problem, sir.

It's kind of hard to explain.

We seem to be missing
a piece of the station.

We can't reach it.
We can't communicate with it.

That piece is almost
a square mile across.

You can't just lose something that big.

I agree, but it's still missing.

Have you spoken to Captain Lochley
about this?

Captain Lochley's quarters
are within the zone, sir.

You know something, Dodger?

I never really believed in anything
beyond death until now.

Me neither. Still don't.

- You're kidding.
- No.

I don't believe in ghosts or reincarnation
or any of that stuff.

I figure you got one sh*t
at the golden ring...

...and when you're done:

You're done.

But you're...

- I mean...
- Maybe it's a Psi phenomena...

...or a time thing or technomancy.
Look, I'm a marine.

I trust what I can feel
or sh**t or...

Or...

Yeah, look, weren't you meant
to bring back, you know...

...arcane knowledge
from beyond the veil?

No.

All the arcane knowledge I got,
I pretty much started out with.

- Such as?
- Such as...

All right, capers, those little things
they put on pizzas?

Pickled nasturtium buds.

And any Emily Dickinson poem...

...can be sung to the tune
of "The Yellow Rose of Texas."

Come on.
I won't bite you.

Good evening, Ranger Lennier.

- I know you.
- I should hope so.

When I was alive,
I was known as Mr. Morden.

It's always nice to be recognized.

You worked for the Shadows.

I did a lot of things, yes.

Looking back on it, though,
I think I just tried to make people happy.

Anyway, it's all just history now,
and I've paid for all my crimes, eh?

Why did you come back here?

I'm dead, it's my job.

Why'd you come back here?

I came for wisdom.

You don't come to the dead
for wisdom, Lennier.

My head was cut from my body.

Even now, it rots on a pole
outside the lmperial Palace.

Birds have taken the hair for their nests.
Maggots ate my flesh.

- And you want wisdom?
- Yes, I do.

Wisdom.

Let's see...

Delenn does not love you as you love her,
and she never will.

I know that.

No, you don't.

Not in your heart.
That's the problem, you see?

No one should ever wanna talk to the dead.

- Go away.
- Sorry, it doesn't work like that.

You raised a ghost,
now you have to listen to him.

Really?

He said he didn't wanna sleep
in the Brakiri territory, sir.

Well, I don't blame him.

Lochley said something
about selling to the Brakiri...

...a piece of Babylon 5
right before this happened.

There has to be a connection.

Do you know how long
she sold them that area for?

No, sir.

Check her log.
She'll have noted all the details.

And get me the Brakiri Homeworld.
Someone there must be able to explain this.

Yes, sir.

Come on,
you won't get there by walking.

The other side of that corridor
is over 200 million light-years away.

And the air is spread a little thinly
in the middle.

Think there's any coffee in this place?

Why did you help me?

I know what kind of a man you were.

Give a dog a bad name
and you can hang him with it.

You shouldn't listen to everything
Sheridan tells you.

I'm surprised he's not here tonight,
since he d*ed at Z'Ha'Dum.

Is there any coffee here or not?

Suit yourself.

So...

Do you like being a Ranger, Lennier?

Would you like it any better
if I were to tell you...

...that you will betray the Anla'shok?

You are lying.

I wish I were.

No?

Sheridan did not die at Z'Ha'Dum.

If you do not know the present,
how can you know the future?

I'm talking about the future.
So what if I'm not up on recent history?

I'm prophetic, not infallible.

I think you are neither.

But at least you have shown me
there is truly life beyond death.

Not necessarily,
but you'll find that out soon enough.

I am Anla'shok and shall remain so
until I pass beyond.

I could no more betray the Anla'shok
than my fingers could betray my hand.

- Our talk is done.
- Your loss.

Got any music around here?

Yeah, there are some crystals right there,
but not too loud, huh? I'm thinking here.

- Lochley to C & C.
- Sorry, that location is out of range.

It's acting as if the rest of Babylon 5
were a million light-years away.

- That's not possible.
- I don't see why.

Where we are is part
of the Brakiri home planet.

That must be a long way
from Babylon 5.

That's crazy.
Wait, I wonder...

On, in link mode.

Locate all backup and emergency
systems currently active.

Okay.

Shut down units D3 through X11...

...and re-route power and communications
through Epsilon Grid.

Protected routine.
Pass code requested.

Captain Elizabeth Lochley.
Pass code, two words:

Zoe's dead.

Bingo.

So this is the same Lise you told me about
last time I was here.

Yeah.

- She must be quite a woman.
- She is.

Do you ever tell her about us?

Was there an us to tell her about?

I'm jealous.

She's so lucky.

She's alive, and she's got you.

Even though you did get old.

She gets to do this.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything,
Mr. Garibaldi.

No, no. This is just a...
Just an old friend.

Dodger, this is Captain Lochley.

This is PFC...
The late PFC...

Durman, Elizabeth, 56927.
k*lled in action, sir!

Mr. Garibaldi, I need to be
put through to C & C.

You'll need to route the call via
Proxima using a tachyon relay.

You want me to hack from BabCom
into Stellarcom and back, from my quarters?

Or to recommend someone else
more competent than you are...

- ... currently within Brakiri bounds.
- You must be kidding.

You have one half-hour.

I'm gonna patch through
a general broadcast...

... explaining that we have
the situation well in hand...

... and that there is nothing
to worry about.

Captain Lochley.

Londo?

What, again?

You make me feel so young
once more, Adira.

And you make me feel alive.

This is Captain Lochley.

All of you within the marked
Brakiri boundaries...

... are experiencing certain
extraordinary phenomena.

What is she talking about?

Idiot woman.
Destroying my mood.

Off.

Off!

But she was right.

Normality will return soon.

And when this night is done...

...so am I.

And you?

You will go on to become
Emperor Mollari.

I don't want to become emperor.

I want to stay here with you.

Londo...

...l'm a dream.

In the morning, I'll be gone.

And you will rule 40 billion Centauri.

But not one of them
will ever know you...

...the way I know you.

Now, if this works...

...l'll be able to convince
the local information stream...

...that it's actually originating
on Minbar...

...streaming into Proxima...

...and from there...

Come on, override.

Some guys would be flattered
if a not entirely un-cute dame...

...returned from the dead to spend
a night of passion with them.

Yeah.

And they'd find other ways
to prove their masculinity...

...than hacking into the interstellar
phone system.

Yes!

Captain Lochley, your com channels
are open. Took me 17 minutes.

Good night.

I mean, it's some guys' fantasy:
A love-hungry redhead...

...who'll disappear in the morning,
never to be seen again.

I'm sorry, Dodger,
what were you saying?

It's a good thing I'm only here
another hour or so, cupcake.

Two weeks of this,
I'd k*ll you.

We're so impressed with how
you're dealing with this whole thing.

I mean, this is a real emergency...

...and you're so calm and collected.

We both admire you both very much.

- And that's why we've decided...
- We want to give up show business.

Yeah, we wanna give it all up...

...and do something worthwhile.
- Worthwhile?

That's right,
like, you know, what you do.

I'm sorry for running out on you.

Well, I've done everything
I can down there.

John, Rebo and Zooty are telling me
they plan to give up comedy for politics.

You know, making people laugh is okay.

I mean, I enjoy getting a laugh...

...but I don't know, we wanna do
something more important.

But you two have a real gift.

I mean, when things were bad
under President Clark...

...you two said things on your show
that no one else would dare to say.

But no one takes
comedians seriously.

Isn't that a contradiction?

No, we say serious things
in a funny way...

...but when the joke comes,
people stop listening.

The real comedy all happens in the senate.
They do one idiotic thing after another...

...but people listen because
they say it seriously.

I don't know whether we're leaving comedy
to go into clown school...

...but all I do know is that
comedians don't matter.

Well, if you don't matter,
nothing matters.

I mean, the only reason politics exist...

...is to ensure that people
have the freedom to laugh.

And to love.

And to love.

- Yes?
- Sir...

... there's a call coming in for you
on external relay. It's Captain Lochley.

Patch her through.

- Captain Lochley.
- Yes, Mr. President.

Captain...

...where are you calling from?
- My quarters, sir.

Mr. Garibaldi patched into Stellarcom.

Right now I'm talking to you
from two levels up and 27 light-years away.

Don't ask.
I don't understand it either.

- Are you all right?
- Yes, sir.

Thank you for asking.

I'm pretty sure this situation will
sort itself out at planetary sunrise...

... when the area ceases
to be Brakiri space.

That's what the authorities
on the Brakiri Homeworld assured me.

- Sir, you're breaking up.
- Well...

...later on this morning,
you have to tell me all about it.

0800 hours in my office.

Good night, captain.

Well...

...time's nearly up.

When you remember me, Lennier...

...think of me as a brief
electromagnetic anomaly...

...who told you some true things
for your own good.

No, it is true. Listen.

Okay. All right, all right, all right.
I will try one. Okay.

Dodger.

Now, I was raised a good Catholic boy,
believe it or not.

Maybe...

Maybe one day we'll meet up
in heaven.

Parting is all we know of heaven

And all we need of hell

And that's the message
I was given.

So who is this Sheridan guy?

It doesn't matter.

So did you get married?

Married.

Actually, to that Sheridan guy.

Didn't work.

Did you have any kids?

No kids.

I wanted to have kids.

A lot of kids.

Lizzie, I do remember my death.

I didn't want to hurt you, but...

Yeah.

I did do it on purpose.

I just couldn't go on.

Don't hate me, okay?

I could never hate you.

Captain, what do you think
happened last night?

Did you have any of these
ghostly encounters?

Yes, sir.

Would you like to tell me about it?

With all due respect, sir,
it was intensely personal.

Well, that is pretty much
what everyone tells me.

Okay, captain,
let me get this straight.

You sold Babylon 5 to an alien race
for the night...

...who somehow transported a square mile
of this station to their Homeworld...

...while apparently filling it with people
temporarily returned from the dead?

Yes, sir.

Well, do you have an explanation
as to why you did this?

Yes, sir.
I thought it was a metaphor, sir.

I'll try to be more literal-minded
from now on, sir.

Any idea yet what actually happened?

Well, the high-IQ boys back home...

...think it might have been a device
smuggled onto the station...

...that somehow activates the parts
of the brain responsible for memory.

And Zack is checking
the air ducts to see...

...if it was a gas used to create
a similar effect.

And Mr. Garibaldi wants
to blame the telepaths.

These days, he's looking for grounds
to blame them for everything...

...from sunspots to hair loss.

- So you have no idea what caused it?
- No, sir.

- It's a mystery.
- Yes, sir.

But frankly, sir,
as long as no one got hurt...

...and the effect seems temporary...

...I don't have a problem with that.

I think we need a little mystery
once in a while.

Oh, and speaking of mysteries,
I have a message for you.

It's from someone named Kosh.

What's the message?

"When the long night comes...

...return to the end
of the beginning."

Thank you, captain.
That will be all.

- Captain Lochley.
- Go ahead, say it, G'Kar.

"I told you so."
You warned me, I didn't listen.

You were right.

No, you were right,
and I was wrong.

The people who were within the Brakiri
bounds last night...

...they seem deeper,
more at peace.

I wonder what I would have seen
if I had slept in my own quarters last night.

- I hadn't thought that...
- There's no profit in "might've been"...

...so we learn from our mistakes.

You're so funny.

From now on,
I will always watch you.

Zoot, zoot.

Very funny. I thought perhaps
you could perform at my inauguration.

However, to make a Centauri laugh,
I have to give you a piece of advice.

Sometimes we learn.

Let me buy you breakfast, captain.

What did he say?

"Because it tells me to."