03x12 - Out of Commission

[bunniefuu]

( theme music playing )

Set him down here, guys.

Alex, what happened?

Well, he came out and hit
you with a left and...

Then what?

Describe the whole fight
to me.

I just did.

Well, I guess my memory's
okay then.

Hey, hold up, guys.

Hey, uh, Tony, am I supposed
to tip them or something?

I usually don't unless
they've been especially nice.

Thank you, guys.

Hey, Tony, you all right?

Yeah. Hey, Lou,
I'm sorry I let you down.

Nah, you did fine.

I had you ahead on points.

The doctor's coming.

Oh, great.

Hi.

Hey, Shotgun.
Hey, man, I'm sorry

I couldn't give you
a better fight tonight.

Hey, that's okay.
That's okay.

Hey, and I know you
trained pretty hard
for this fight,

but, don't worry, someday,
it's gonna come in handy.

Right. Look, uh...
yeah, you take care
of yourself, right?

Geez, that's class, huh?

Guy comes in to check on me.
Big guy.

Man, I told you
this was the wrong locker room.

All right, Tony,
here's your money.

All right, Lou.

Yeah, you get, uh,
350 for the fight.

Uh-huh.

Minus, uh...
my manager's fee,

trainer's fee,

towel and locker fee,

attendant's fee,

bandages and tape.

All you get for the fight
tonight is $20?

Who else you know rakes in
five dollars a second?

Hello, Tony.

Hey, Dr. Webster,
how you doing?

Doc, take a look at him,
will ya?

I'll be back later.
I'm gonna watch the next fight.

Okay, Tony, sit up here,
so I can take a look at you.

All right, Doc.

( groans )

Headache?

Not bad.
Uh-huh.

Here... here,
follow this light

with your eyes.

Uh-huh.

Tony, what's your record?

I'm about, uh,
eight and 24.

How many have you
lost by knockout?

Well, it depends
what you mean by knockout.

I mean, uh, sometimes
I'm just taking a rest,

and the ref is counting
real fast...
Come on, Tony.

14 times.

How about recently?

Uh...

Three times in the last
five fights, Tony?

Yeah.

Hey, Dr. Webster,

what's wrong with him?

He leads with his right.

No, I mean his body.

What's wrong with his body?

Well, for one thing,
I didn't care
for his reaction

to the examination
I gave him

in the ring,
after the knockout.

All you did was
ask me my name.

Yeah, but you gave me
the wrong answer.

But once you told me
what it was, I recognized it.

Doc, is he going
to be okay or not?

Well, nothing here requires
immediate medical attention.

Oh, great.

Thank you.

Tony... Tony,
listen, uh...

has any doctor ever advised you
to, uh... quit boxing?

Yeah, I suppose.

You suppose?

A lot of guys yelled at me
to get out of the ring.

Some of them might
have been doctors.

Dr. Webster, come on.

There's something
on your mind.

Why don't you tell us?

Well, Tony's record
worries me.

Hey, look, so I ain't
no Rocky Marciano.

Listen, Tony, let me
tell you a story.

I mean, there was a
fighter here last year--

a middleweight
like you, you know.

He lost a lot of fights.

He got knocked out a lot,
you know?

I mean, he kept on fighting,

even though he
kept getting b*at

every time he walked
into the ring.

I'm sorry to say...

he doesn't fight anymore.

Me too.

I'd like a sh*t at him.

Tony, he doesn't fight anymore
because he can't fight.

He also can't drive,
or he can't hold a job.

That's because of the damage
that he suffered in the ring.

He never should have
been allowed to fight.

Now, Tony, I don't know if
you've suffered any damage yet,

but I can't take
the risk

of having the same thing
happen to you.

Hey, wait a second.

What are we talking
about here, Doc?

Tony...

I think you
should quit fighting.

You come in here,
you look at me

for ten seconds
and you want
to end my career.

Tony, you get some damage

every time you
suffer a knockout.

Big deal.
Fighters get knocked out.

Hey, let me tell you
something:

I've been knocked out
a million times--

I been knocked out more
times than I can remember.

Tony, you're not helping
your case.

Tony, I'm taking your case
to the medical board

and see what they
have to say about it.

Well, I don't care,
'cause I ain't quitting boxing.

Listen, Ma,
I'm serious about this.

At a certain age,

you don't care
about birthdays anymore.

Please, no cake, no presents,
no dinner, no nothing.

All right, all right,
if you insist.

* Happy birthday to you

* Happy birthday
to you *

* Happy birthday, crazy lady

* Happy birthday to you.

( growling )

Hey, I may get you...

Would you say
that I look frumpy today?

Well...
Uh... uh...

ELAINE:
No, no, no, I'm trying
to look frumpy.

Oh, well,
you've done it.

Quite frumpy.

Yeah, well, I just

got so sick of guys
hitting on me while I'm driving,

so I figured if
I dressed like this,

they'd stop doing it.

Did it work?

No. I just get hit on

by a crummier class of creeps.

Hey, foxy lady.

I see exactly
what you mean.

( phone ringing )

I got it.

I'm coming.

Hello there.

Have a nice day.

This is Jim Ignatowski
of the Sunshine Cab Company,

where courtesy is our motto
and service is our business.

Oh, we're open 24 hours a day
with radio-dispatched cars.

Ask for our excursion fares

and always exit
on the curb side.

Thank you very much.

Hey, Jim, do you have
any idea who that was?

No, but he sure was
a good listener.

( phone ringing )

( gasping )

Somebody else want to get that?

I'm pooped.

Don't worry about it.
I'll take care of it.

I got it. I got it.
I got it. Got it.

Hello?

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, Tony! Tony, it's for you.

It's a Dr. Webster
from the boxing commission.

Boom!

All right.

Yeah. Hey, how you doing,
Dr. Webster?

What's that?

I don't understand.

Aw, come on, Dr. Webster,
this ain't fair.

They can't do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
for my own good.

Thanks.

I can't believe it.

Tony, what is it?

They just took away
my boxing license.

Oh, no! That's terrible!

Can they do that?

They can do it
and they just did it.

They said they don't like
the looks of my record.

They're worried about me,

'cause I get
knocked out too much.

Is there somebody
you can appeal to?

Nobody. What am I going to do?

I mean boxing's my whole life.

Oh...

Tony, I got to tell you
something.

Um... maybe it's the wrong time,
and everything,

but I'm glad you're getting out
of that awful sport.

I hated it when I had
to go see you fight.

You did?

Yeah, I did.

I mean, I can tell what
a great sport it is.

You know, uh,
standing up there

in front of a bunch of bums
and creeps and drunks,

getting your head bashed in.

Oh, the glamour's part of it.

Tony... Tony,
I wouldn't say this

if I didn't know
our friendship could take it.

Tony, you're not
that good a boxer.

I know that, Bobby.

Well, why do you care then?

Because that doesn't
matter to me.

You see, maybe
when I first started,

you know, I had dreams
of getting a title...

but I gave up on that
a long time ago.

I ain't no great fighter.

I can't even say
I had one great fight,

not even one great round--
but there have been moments.

You see, not a day goes by,

I don't think about this fight
in Jersey.

During the second round, I threw
a three-punch combination--

left, right, left hook.

It was perfect.

I heard the crowd gasp.

For that one second,

Tony Banta was as great
as Muhammad Ali, Sugar Ray

or any of them.

I always thought that, maybe,

I'd put a few of those moments
together someday,

and have that great fight.

I mean, when I look back on it,
I feel kind of special.

Without it,
I'm just a cab driver--

just a lousy cab driver.

Uh, uh, uh, Tony, uh...

Oh, hey, no offense.

ALEX:
That's all right, Tony.

I'm not really
a cab driver.

I'm just waiting for
something better
to come along...

...you know, like death.

Well, if you guys don't mind,
I'm going to tie one on.

I'll go too.

I love Chinese restaurants.

LOUIE:
What are you hanging
around here for?

Don't you have lives?

Louie, they took away
my boxing license.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Tony, no.

That's not fair.

Oh, no.

Hey, Louie, I didn't think
you'd take it so hard.

Are you kidding?

I made a fortune
betting against you.

You know, that is so typical of
you to think only of yourself

at a time like this.

Well, for your
information, Nardo,

I happen to need money
right now.

I'm saving up for an operation
for my ma.

Oh, Louie, I'm sorry.

I... what's wrong?

It's female problems.

She's starting
not to look like one.

Hi, Bob.

Hey, Bobby.
Hey, uh...

how's Tony lately?

I don't know.

I haven't seen much of him.

I guess he wants to work this
one out by himself, you know?

Maybe I'm insensitive,

but I don't see
what the problem is, you know.

I can't imagine
missing that sport.

Elaine, boxing
is Tony's life.

I mean, it would be like me
if I had to give up acting.

But when you act,
no one gets brutalized.

Only the playwright and anyone
trapped in the theater.

How long have you been
waiting for this one, Louie?

Years.

LOU-LOU:
Hello, Alex.

ALEX:
Hey, Lou-Lou.

Hey, everybody,
this is Lou-Lou Pantuso.

He's the guy
that bought Tony's contract.

How you doin', Lou.
Hi.

Must have got it in a fire sale.

That and the suit he's wearing.

Does he work in there,
or is he just on display?

Ignore him. Ignore him.

What's up, Lou-Lou?
What's up?

Well, I got to talk
to you guys.

What's the problem?

Somebody's got to talk to Tony.

I wasn't going to say anything.

I promised Tony I wouldn't,

but I just don't feel right
about what's going on.

He's got this idea

that he's gonna fight
under another name.

What?!

Yeah, there's this fighter

in Jersey who retired,

and we bought up his license,
and, uh,

Tony's gonna fight
under his name from now on.

Oh, no...
I can't believe this!

Hold it, can he get
away with this?

Unfortunately, yes.

And the crazy thing is

he's gonna fight under the name
"Kid Rodriguez."

Kid Rodriguez?!

Well, that explains
his attitude.

That explains why we haven't
seen him lately.

That explains
his buenos dias yesterday.

Hey, I tried to talk him out of
it but he won't listen to me.

So, if he's gonna do it,
it's better if I'm with him.

Well, listen, Lou-Lou,
I'm glad you came to us first,

so we have a chance
to talk him out of it

before he actually
gets a fight.

You got an hour and a half.

He's fighting tonight?!

Yeah, at Brooklyn Armory,
third bout.

Look, he's waiting for me.
I'm gonna go, all right?

We'll see you there!

All right,
so what do we do?

Somebody's got
to talk to him.

But what do we say?

We got to tell him
that, that boxing,

it destroys your brain,
it damages your nervous system

and it leaves you a stumbling,
disoriented, pathetic wreck.

And if that's what he wants,

there are easier ways
of getting there.

Let's go.
Come on.

Come on,
let's get out of here.

LOUIE:
What's going on here?

ELAINE:
Tony's fighting again.

Banta?

My sure thing is back?

The born-again loser?

Hello, Ma?

Great news.

You can have that operation
you wanted.

That's right.

You've been called "sir"
for the last time.

I want you to hit,
and don't get hit.

I want you to keep moving
and stick it to him.

Hey! Aren't you guys
ready yet?

Give us a few more
minutes, will ya?

Okay, there,
you're all taped.

Aw, geez,
look at that.

I got to do it
all over ag...

Lou-Lou, you already
did it six times.

Now, come on,
cut the tape.

Oh, Tony, I can't let
anybody see that.

I'll be embarrassed
to death!

Cut it, Lou-Lou.

Oh, finally.

We got stuck in traffic.
Yeah.

Hi, Tony.

What are you guys
doing here?

Uh, Lou-Lou, can we have
a couple of moments
alone with Tony, please?

Yeah. I got a million important
details to take care of.

Lou-Lou squealed, huh?

Yes, he did.

He says you're fighting
under the name of Kid Rodriguez?

Pretty good name, eh?
Kid Rodriguez.

Yeah.

You're not gonna
fight tonight, Tony.

Oh, yes, I am.

No, you're not, 'cause
we're going to stop you.

Tony, we decided, we're not
leaving this room

until we talk you
out of this.

That's right, Tony.

This sport is
a savage blood battle

that no right-thinking
person can condone.

It appeals
to the worst instincts in men

and reduces the dignity
of the entire human race.

And, besides, the bull
doesn't stand a chance.

Jim, I ain't bullfighting.

All right, Tony.

I'm proud of you.

Let's go, guys.

Jim, Jim, Jim,
Jim, Jim...

Let me handle this.
I can handle this.

Tony, you're
not fighting tonight.

Oh, yes, I am, Bob.

No, you're not fighting
tonight,

and I'm gonna tell you why
you're not fighting tonight.

Because you can't fight
if you don't have
any trunks to wear.

Anybody see
a pair of blue trunks?

I'll pay you $1,000
if you don't hurt my face.

Give me five.

All right!

I mean dollars.

Okay.

I just got real lucky,
didn't I?

Yes. Real lucky.

Come on, guys.
I can't stall anymore.

Promoter says I got to get
my fighter in the ring now,

or I have to get
in there myself.

Okay, look, uh,
could you guys give me

a moment alone
with Tony, please?

Oh, yeah, that's a good i...
that's a good idea.

Hey, uh, Jim,

come on, I'll buy
you some popcorn.

Come on.
Okey-doke.

Uh, by the way, Tony,

I don't want to criticize
the way you dress

but if you put on
your shoes last,

it won't be so hard

pulling your pants on
over them.

Jim? Popcorn, popcorn.

Tony, listen
to what Alex has to say.

Fighting makes you
punchy after awhile.

How many fights
has he been in?

Just the one with reality.

Hey, Alex, there's
nothing you can say, Alex.

I been over this
a lot in my mind.

I been over every argument,
so forget it, Alex.

There's nothing you could say.

Tony, I don't want to have

a big struggle about this.

Now, I want you to think
about your health.

I'm talking about
your physical health.

Boxers who take too many
blows to the head...

Guys that are punchy
start acting weird.

You don't see me acting
weird, do you, Alex?

Gee...

Me llamo Kid Rodriguez.

Kid Rodriguez, me llamo.

Hola.

Tony, I'm very serious
about this!

Hey, look...
You're not gonna
fight tonight!

I'm gonna stop you
if I have to use
physical force!

Hey, esta loco.

Tony! Tony, no,
I'm serious!

Now, look, the only way
you're going to get
through this door

is through me.

Tony, it's time.

Adios, Alex.

Wait, Tony.

Tony?!

ALEX:
Tony, wait!

Tony, wait a minute.
Tony, Tony, wait, wait...

Alex...

Wait, wait,
just a second.

Tony, you're making
a big mistake.

Alex, can't this wait?
I'm a little busy right now.

No, no, no, Tony,
you're making
a big mistake.

Alex, Alex, I want you
to have a good seat

for Tony's fight,
but this is ridiculous.

I mean, it's too late
for this argument, Alex.

No, it's not, Lou-Lou!

( bell dinging )

Ladies and gentlemen,

the next event
on tonight's card

will be a ten-round,
middleweight contest

between these two scrappy,
Latino contenders.

Presenting, in this corner
on my left,

weighing in at 159 pounds,
wearing black trunks,

sporting a record of 14 and six,

from Los Angeles, California:
Alberto "El Gato" Martinez.

( cheering and booing )

Just listen to me
for one second.

Alex, it's not polite
to talk during
the introductions.

( bell dinging )

Weighing in at 162 pounds...

You lost weight.

...wearing blue trunks
with the gold stripes,

with a record of 23 and eight...

You think I'm quitting
with a record like that?

...originally
from Puerto Rico,

known as "The Pride of
San Juan": Kid Rodriguez.

( cheering )

Tony, there are a lot of other
people to think of, you know,
in this thing!

Alex, I gotta get
my instructions!

REFEREE:
Gentlemen...

Tony, you're... you're
forgetting your friends.

You know, people who love you
who don't want you to fight.

Alex, if they loved me so
much, they'd understand

how much fighting
means to me!

Do you mind
if I go on?

In the event
of a knockdown...

No, you don't have
to finish,

because he's not
fighting tonight.

I am too!
No, you're not.

Yes, I am!
No, you're not!

Well, if you do
decide to fight,

I want a nice clean fight.

I want you to watch
your head-butts.

No punches below the belt.

I want the kidney punches,
all right?

And, in case of a knockdown,

the man scoring the knockdown
goes to the farthest corner

and stays there until
I tell him to come out.

All right, shake hands
and good luck to both of you.

Demos buena pelea.

Buena suerte para ti.

Hey, gracias.
La cucaracha, man.

Tony, will you just
listen to me for one second?

Just listen to me
for one second, okay?

Alex, I know the risks,
and I want to take them.

It's my business here.

Tony, I just... I, I have
one question to ask you--

just one question,
then I'll shut up.

All right?
All right, Alex, what?

Okay...

How would you feel

if you hurt a
fighter tonight?
Huh?

I mean, if you
really seriously
hurt that fighter?

I'd feel terrible, Alex,
of course I would,

but that ain't gonna happen

because I ain't that good
a boxer, remember?

I mean, if anybody's gonna
get hurt, it's gonna be me.

You-- right, you.

How do you think
he's gonna feel if you
get seriously hurt, huh?

It's gonna be
on his conscience

for the rest
of his life.

Every time you go
into the ring,

you have two lives
that you put on the line.

I need time to think
about this one.

( bell dings )

You don't have time.

Damn it, Alex, who
invited you, anyway?

Hey, Lou-Lou,
I'm throwing it in.

LOU-LOU:
Okay.

Nah. Hey, Hoss,
I decided not to fight.

Let me say it to you
in Spanish-- el stopo.

I'm not fighting.

I'm gonna quit.
I want to give it up.

I don't want
to do it anymore.

Stop. I said stop.
El stopo.

Here's the ref.

Maybe you could
talk to him...

Hey, man, I told you
I'm not fighting no more.

Some guys.

ALEX:
All right, Tony.

If you leave the ring,
you lose by default!

The winner!

Well, now that
you've given up boxing,

I just wanted to say

that, uh... we're behind you
whatever you want to do.

I know that, Alex.
Thanks.

Okay.

Hey, Al, you know
what I'm going to do?

I'm going to get together

all the money I made in
boxing all these years,

buy myself a new suit.

Good idea, Tony.

( sighs )

( theme music playing )

WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.

( grunts )