01x03 - Clip

[bunniefuu]

Tookie bah waba!

Hao!

Iki bah bah.

Ha ha ha.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Maka maka!

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Ha ha ha!

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

♪ Gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

Ooocha! Chi-ka!

♪ Miki miki coconut ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Lilo: Now pay attention, stitch.

To fit in on earth,

you need to be obsessed
with how you look.

People come here from all over

to soak in this mud.

They want to be like pigs.

Go ahead.

Ugh! Wah! Bleh!

Stitch: Aah! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha! Daka chiga!

Stop right there!

Oh, just look at this mess!

Yeah. You really need
to sweep up all that hair.

Ugh! Not the hair! The mud!

Stitch: Agaga!

Woman: And stay out!

Boy, what a grouch.

I can't believe she made
us clean up all that mud.

That is the fifth
grouch this week,

and it's only Monday.

Man: Aah! Aah!

My hair! My hair is gone!

So? Mine's been
gone for years.

No! That thing jumped on my head

and ate all my
hair! There it goes!

Ha ha! Ta-da!

Cool! A mutant hairball.

Naga. Cousin.

Oh. That's cool, too.

Men and women:
Ohh! Aah! My hair!

Uhh! Ohh! Uhh!

Aah!

Whoo-whoo! Heh heh heh!

Bellhops: Ohh! Ow!

Stitch: Unh! Huh?

Lilo: Whoa!

I hate mondays, brother.

Hmm.

You look like a hairy hairball.

And you seem
to like to eat hair,

and you're made of hair,

so I'm gonna call you... hairy.

No! Clip.

Huh? That's her name.

Clip.

Yeah, yeah.

Blitsnak! It's the human
juvenile and the abomination.

And I was so close!

Heh heh! Though it
is cute how she always

names the creatures.

Dr. Hamsterviel: Gantu!

Did I actually hear you
express amusement

at losing another experiment?!

Dr. Hamsterviel!

Uh, uh, how long have
you been listening?

Oh, long enough

to regret ever laying
my rodent retinas on you,

you feckless fish face!

Uh...

Stop wondering what "feckless"
means and get that experiment!

Now!

Humph! I'll show
him who's feckless.

Jumba: Aah!

Keep that thing away from me.

Cute little clip?

Is not cute! Is
experiment number

and is very dangerous.

She doesn't look dangerous.

Ah, but looks can be deceiving.

You see, it was many years ago,

when my head was
overflowing with evil ideas

and healthy,
luxuriant hair follicles.

I had devised experiment ...

the uburnium eater.

Uburnium is the most powerful

and economical fuel
source in all of universe.

My uburnium eater would spark

an insurmountable fuel crisis.

Unfortunately, in the
language of kwiltikwan,

word for "uburnium" is
same as word for "hair."

I did not realize
mistake until too late.

I had accidentally
created the hair eater.

Ha ha ha!

Cool! I mean, that's awful.

Yes, awful.

And every day, it has
made me full of anger!

Aha! I knew there
had to be a reason

why you're always
such a grumpy Gus.

If you want to
grow luxuriant locks

you need to unclench
your hair follicles.

Relax! Enjoy life!

Good idea.

Let's begin by
disassembling .

No! You can't!

It's not clip's
fault she eats hair.

We just need to find the
one place where clip belongs.

Right?

Uh-huh.

We know this place has
a real problem with hair.

There's more hair
here than any place

I've ever seen in my whole life.

And with your
help eating it all up,

maybe that lady

won't be such a
grouch anymore, too.

Ohh! Myrtle edmonds!

And yuki, Teresa, and Elena!

Hey, weirdlo.

I didn't know you
got your hair cut here.

I don't.

Of course you don't.

They'd never even let you
in the door with that mess.

I like my hair!

You would.

Maybe you should try this.

You need it more than I do.

Wow! For me?

"Hair conditioner...

For taming wild, unruly hair?!"

Hey!

Don't be jealous.

Not everyone can
have perfect hair like me.

Especially not you.

Girls: Yeah!

Myrtle needs to be punished.

Yeah. Enh!

Eek-ah.

Chk! Black cat to mutant dog.

Black cat to mutant dog. Chk!

Chk! Come in, mutant dog! Chk!

Stitch! That's you!

Who, me?

When I say, "black cat,"

you're supposed to
answer, "mutant dog."

It's cat burglar code.

Black cat to... Mutant dog.

Lilo: How's it look? Chk!

Stitch: Yaka tak.

Come on! Say it right.

Ok, ok.

Chk! All clear. Chk!

Perfect!

Oh! Um, I mean...

Chk! Commence cat burglar creep.

And myrtle calls me a weirdo?

Stitch: Achi kaba!

We'll get you to your new home

tomorrow, clip. I promise.

But tonight, enjoy
a gourmet meal

on one very expensive hairdo.

The litter box is clean. Chk!

Ohh! Ekata! Chk! Oof!

Hi, Mrs. Myrtle's mom.

It's me... lilo.

Whoa, oh!

And stitch. He's my dog.

Oh, yes. Myrtle's strange
little friend from hula school.

Oh, and your mutant
pet from outer space!

Ohh! Oh, I'm just kidding!

Heh! I know a dog
when I see one.

Heh heh! I suppose I should ask

what you're doing in
my daughter's room.

Oh, uh, I was just
dropping off a, uh...

Birthday present for myrtle.

Ohh! What?! Oh, my
gosh, is that today?

No, no. I mean,

she has one coming up
sometime this year, right?

Ohh! Oh, whoo!

Yes, yes, sometime this
year. That sounds familiar.

Oh, how lucky myrtle is

to have such a
dear, sweet friend.

Well, we have to be leaving now.

Come on, stitch... Puppy.

Barky bark!

Lilo: "That night,

"the beautiful queen loli

and her captain
of the guard titch..."

That's you. Oh!

"Could hear the myrtle
beast's screams of terror

as its rusty red hairdo
was eaten away."

"Even though they could not hear

"the myrtle beast
being punished,

"they knew it was happening.

"It was the best plan

"anyone had ever come up with,

and nothing could
possibly go wrong."

Stitch: Naga.

Ha ha ha!

Ew!

Now, now, let's not
make this difficult.

Hey, watch it! Calm down.

What in the dickens
is going on... aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Oh!

Clip: Heh heh heh!

Aah! Ohh...

You're fast for a fur
ball, but I'm faster.

Ahh! Come here!

Hmm!

No, no, no, no, no,
no! Ha heh heh ha ha!

Grr!

Hairball, I am gantu, captain...

Ahem... former... Of
the galactic alliance.

Conqueror of the
peskimermish militia,

and vanguard commander
of black hole ops.

You will not escape me!

Uh, I mean, I, uh,
ahem, missed my bus.

Aah! Aah!

Oh, blitsnak.

Hurry up, stitch. I
can't wait to see myrtle

with her new nonhairdo.

Huh? You have hair?!

Yeah, but her mom doesn't.

Your mom?

Yeah. I had a sleepover
at Teresa's last night,

and while I was gone,
something scared mom so bad,

all her hair fell out.

She says a big fish face guy

tried to break in
through my window.

Gantu.

And then she says a flying
yellow fur ball att*cked her.

Clip.

Oh, no.

This is bad poi.

Pleakley: This
spectral diffraction style

is very popular on earth.

Particularly among avid
followers of team sports.

There! What do you think?

I look like large
furry lollipop.

Lilo: Jumba! Pleakley!

I put clip in myrtle's house

because she needed
to be punished,

but instead, clip got her mom,

and I don't know what to do.

You going to a football game?

I am trying for new look.

You like?

Pyuh! Ikka patooka!

No more with wig!

Ok, then. I read on
the intergalactic net

that hair growth can be
stimulated by vigorous massage.

Ow! Ack! Not foot massage!

What good is growing new hair

if clip is out there just waiting
to make you bald again?

I am not bald!

I have beautiful,
luxuriant hairs.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

All right! I will
help capture .

Lilo: This is
where we left clip.

Is best if we surprise .

I will take the front
way. You take the back.

Ha! Got you,
you little hairball.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

So you're not mad at us
for scaring you like that?

Oh, no. Actually, it
was quite exhilarating

in a frightening,

"I don't know what's
going on" sort of way.

I'm sorry about what
happened to your hair.

Don't be sorry. I love it.

If you ever find that little
fur ball you're looking for,

I'd like to thank it.

You mean... Ohh! Oh.

You're not upset about all
your hair getting eaten away?

Oh, not at all.

It actually feels
like the real me.

Aren't you afraid
you'll get teased?

Oh, no.

Remember, a haircut
doesn't make you who you are.

You make a haircut what it is.

I never thought of
it that way before.

Well, if you're
happy with yourself,

that's all that counts.

I wish I could be happier
with myself's nearly bald head.

Why? You have a
beautifully shaped head.

Oh! You think so?

Oh, yes.

Those hairs
suit you perfectly.

They make you quite handsome.

Jumba jookiba, evil
genius, handsome?

Ho ho! Ahh!

That makes me happy.

Ohh! I... I'm happy!

My head is no longer
feeling clenched.

I feel... whoa!
That's what I call

a spontaneous...
Something or other.

My hair! It has returned!

I... have... Hair!

Inside voice, uncle jumba.

According to my readings,

experiment has
been through here.

We are hot on trial.

Does that mean clip's nearby?

No. Means is time
for hair regimen.

Brushing to keep it healthy,

extra U.V. protector
to prevent sun damage,

lotion for scalp and roots,

yumectin to keep curls bouncy.

Ikita!

Cool! Naked squirrel!

No hair?! Something
is telling me that

is very, very close.

Yargh!

Naga!

Argh! Run! Run, run, run!

Oh, no! Haka taga!

Wow! Clip got big!

Real big.

You're not taking my hair,

you... Eater of hair.

Oof!

My hair? Is all right?

Ah, ah, oh! Is all right.

Wow, stitch! Thanks.

You saved us from a buzz cut.

Oh. Sorry about
your butt, though.

Haka taba!

You can wear this
until it grows back.

Jukaba.

Ha! Now who is the ikka patooka?

Ha ha ha... ouch!

Oof! Unh!

And now is the time we teach you

how to dance the
traditional Hawaiian hula.

Any volunteers? Don't be shy.

Aah! Oof!

We have a volunteer!

Hey! It's that guy
who missed the bus.

Make him do the fire dance, too!

But I need to... oh, blitsnak.

Naga hugata.

I don't see her anywhere.

Ohh!

This is all my fault.

Who knew life would be
full of such hard lessons?

Like never use a hair-eating
monster on someone

when you're
unhappy with yourself.

Eh! All this stress
is not good for hair.

Is getting split ends,
growing wild and unruly.

Here! Try this.

"For taming wild
and unruly hair."

Taming wild and unruly hair!

This is what we
need to use on clip.

She's nothing but
wild and unruly hair.

Eh!

But we don't know
where she went.

Let us act logical.

If I were a hair-eating beast,

I would try to find some
place with more hair

than ever having
seen in whole life.

But where could such place be?

Guests: Aah!

Hello, police?

No, it's not a burglary.

No, it's not a
fire, either. It's...

I don't know what to call it!

It's a bad hair
day? Hello? Hello?!

Help!

Someone is calling for help?

Quick! To the
hair care products.

Rock the hula, stitch!

Tookie bah waba!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Clip, you've been a bad girl.

But I think I'm more
to blame than you.

I should've never tried
to use you against myrtle.

Is it safe?

No more with the
hair destruction?

Nope. The conditioner tamed her.

Now she just needs a home.

Hey, yo! I need a new do,

something that, like, captures
the real me, you know?

Lilo: Clip, no!

Ha ha!

Awesome! Now,
this is the real me.

Thanks, little bro.

Well, what do you know?

Clip has a special talent.

Right on!

Clip has a knack

for finding your
one perfect hairdo.

Is my turn next.

You want to give
up your big afro?

Eh, hairdo is not real me.

It screams
seventies funk review,

not evil genius scientist.

, come here. Do your stuff.

All: Ohh!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ah! I am feeling like me again.

Thank you, .

Mm-hmm! Heh heh!

You may have been
a grouch before,

but you're the
perfect ohana for clip.

And business has
never been better.

Can I offer you a free do?

Ohh!

No, thanks.

I like my hair
just the way it is.

Dr. Hamsterviel:
Gantu! What is going on?

Gantu! What's that music?

Gantu!