02x20 - Rufus

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lilo & Stitch". Aired: September 20, 2003 – July 29, 2006.*
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Continuing where Stitch! The Movie left off, Lilo and Stitch are given the task of collecting the rest of Jumba's missing experiments, changing them from bad to good, and finding the one place where they truly belong.
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02x20 - Rufus

Post by bunniefuu »

Tookie bah waba!

Hao!

Iki bah bah.

Ha ha ha.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Maka maka.

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Heh heh ha ha ha!

Ah heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Iki tookie nee hi! ♪

♪ Aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ aka tiki bah bah ♪

♪ gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

♪ Gabba ika tasoopa? ♪

Ooocha! Chi-ka!

♪ Miki miki coconut ♪

♪ I Laila 'o kaua'i la ♪

♪ no malihini ohana ♪

♪ welcome, cousins,
a-come on by ♪

♪ aloha, e komo mai ♪

Tookie bah waba!

♪ Aloha, e komo mai ♪

Ah, heh heh heh heh!

♪ Aloha, e komo mai ♪

Bye!

Hey, give that back!

Hey, knucklehead, give
back that experiment pod!

Stitch, where are you going?

Out of my way, humans.

Ok, look over here. Over here.

Throw the ball to me.

Heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh heh.

Ah, what evil
secrets do you hold,

experiment ?

Yaah!

I got it.

Ohh.

I got it. Yeah! Aah!

Oh, no.

Oh... Huh?

Aloha. I'm lilo.

- Shh.
- What was that thing?

I don't know, but I don't
wanna stay to find out.

Hey, am I hearing those
kids through your tail?

Cousin. Shh.

Ow! That blasted blue
trog made me skin my knee.

Hey, this little guy
could be a lot of fun.

So, are these avocados fresh?

Ooh, can we go to the
movies again tonight, Lynn?

Shh. People will hear.

I close down at : .

Wow, miss hasagawa's dating,

and her first name is Lynn.

Coochiva.

What are you thinking, luki,

putting the mango
juice in the coconut bin?

You're lolo, that's
what you are.

Lolo.

And luki talks to himself.

I'll take bear
claws, crullers,

and a maple bar for here.

And officer kohiko
has a donut problem.

Don't get me
started on that guy.

I mean, yeah, he's cute,
but what is up with that hair?

Nani's talking on the
phone about David.

Huh? I see experiment
has you making evil doings.

Heh heh. I'm so
proud. Must get camera.

How nice. Another evil alien.

What does this one do,
eat the linoleum floor?

He listens to people's
private conversations.

That's not really evil.

Not evil? Of course it's evil.

Evil is anything
that is not good.

And if you think it's good to listen in
on someone's private conversations,

then you're evil.

Hey, experiment is very helpful.

was designed to listen in

on secret talkings of the
enemy during w*r times.

Even in an intergalactic fracas,

eavesdropping
is still not polite.

Shh. I wanna hear what
she's saying on the telephone.

It's like they gave
him an IQ test,

and the results were negative.

Ha ha ha ha.

Now, that is not polite, either.

I can't believe she's
talking like this about David.

I know you can turn
him off. What do you do?

You feed it something?
Wash it with soapy water?

Scratch its feet? Pull its tail?
What? What do you do? What?

Is easy. Pet head like so.

Aw, that's actually kinda cute.

But I'm telling you, listening in
on people's private conversations

is just wrong.

It's dangerous, and
it's... Just wrong.

Shh.

He's doing it again.

He is so dumb,

the mind reader
gives him a discount.

Ha ha ha ha.

That does it. Nani!

I can't believe you're
talking that way about David.

He likes you, and
he's your friend,

and he's my
friend, and... And...

Um... hello?

Oh, how's it, David?

We were talking about
a movie we just saw.

I'll call you right back.

I'm in trouble, right?

Big. First of all,

don't accuse people of something

if you don't have all the facts.

Second, what were you doing
listening in on my conversation?

Ok, sorry. I won't
do it anymore.

You better not.

Gantu, come here this instant.

Hey, looks like it's time
for your weekly chew-out.

Sir, it was a very
harrowing situation.

At the tiny earth
children's playground?

Yes, but it was
difficult to maneuver.

Gantu, how many
times have I fired you?

Uh, ?

, you unintelligent,
not smart amphibian

who makes me fire you times.

And again I'm
saying you're fired!

Oh...

Shush, we're
going to have to find

something else for you to do.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

No, shush.

Something else
besides eavesdropping.

But they're just no fun
to play with anymore.

That's myrtle.

Wah dah uh-uh.

But, stitch, don't you wanna
know who she's talking about?

They're not pretty, I
don't like their clothes,

and they're just kinda boring.

All of them?

The dark-haired one, the one with
the straight hair, and the little one?

Oh, my gosh, she's talking
about Teresa, yuki, and Elena.

Yes. Extra specially
the little one.

What are you
doing here, weirdlo?

I have to tell you something,

something awful.

Ok, but hurry up.

Myrtle doesn't wanna
play with you guys anymore.

She said you're boring.

Myrtle would never
say that about us.

She did. Stitch and I
heard it with our own ears.

Right, stitch?

I don't know.

She doesn't like
your clothes, either.

But she tells us what to wear.

Sorry, weirdlo,

you're not allowed to play
with us today. It's a rule.

Well, we aren't playing
with you, either, myrtle.

Lilo told us everything. Huh?

It was kinda mean,
myrtle, even for you. But...

Myrtle edmonds, we
don't wanna be best friends

or any kind of friends
with you ever again.

Yeah. Yeah.

Come on, lilo, you can
hang out with us now.

Huh?

I don't know why you would
turn all of my friends against me.

I'm just a pretty Princess.

I can't help it. I'm
just an ugly old troll.

I mean, I have a yucky blue dog,

and I'm a weirdy, weirdy weirdo.

Hello? Yes, this
is myrtle edmonds.

Oh, yeah, I remember you.

What? You have a job for me?

Sounds interesting.

Good. I look forward to
doing business with you.

Heh heh heh heh.

I love this part.
You've seen it already?

Yeah, like times.

So what's gonna happen to
the woman with the flowers?

Shh!

She's gonna give 'em to
her friend in the wheelchair.

That is so nice.

Shh!

Yeah, but then she's
gonna get hit by a bus.

That is so sad.

Will you keep it down?

Maybe you guys
should be quieter.

Lilo, if we're gonna let you and
your weird dogs hang out with us now,

then you really shouldn't
tell us what to do.

Yeah. Yeah.

Shh. Shh.

He... uh, aloha?

Yes, aloha it is, indeed.

What an adorable robot costume.

Madam, this is no costume,

but a highly
advanced robot drone

which I control remotely

from an undisclosed location

in what your
underdeveloped human brain

calls outer space.

Of course it is.

You are so clever.

Can myrtle come out to play?!

And you are?

Jacques.

Cute. Myrtle!

Got it, mom.

Took you long enough.
What'd you do, take a bus?

I see your winning personality
is still very much intact.

Fix, let's talk Turkey.

Grr... Lilo, do you
have any hair gel?

I'll go check.

Pleakley, do you
have any hair gel?

Of course. How do
you think I keep my wig

so healthy, lustrous,
and hard as a helmet?

Now let's see...
Coarse, straight...

Are those split ends?

It's not for me.

The hula girls
wanna use it on stitch.

Here. And it'll
help with the smell.

I mean, now that we're not
friends with myrtle anymore...

Shush, we shouldn't
be doing this.

Did you ever notice her
hair's like the color of carrots?

Yeah!

And she thinks everybody's
gonna do whatever she says.

Yeah. Yeah.

And that her hair
is carrot-colored.

We already said that.

Yeah. I'm so glad lilo hurt her.

We wouldn't have known
how totally not our friend she is.

Lilo, I told you
not to eavesdrop.

Sorry.

You could end up
hurting someone.

I didn't hurt anybody!

Myrtle did.

But myrtle didn't tell
her friends anything.

You did that.

But she's the one who said it.

In a private conversation

that wasn't meant
for you to hear.

No, but it's a good thing I did.

Right?

Wrong.

And nobody's any
better off for what you did.

I think you need to
straighten this out

with myrtle... Face to face.

Voila!

Did you find any hair gel?

Uh, yeah...

But stitch and I have
to go somewhere.

Um... by ourselves.

But we were gonna
do the other doggy next.

Maybe later. Come on, stitch.

Oh... ottatakka!

So you want me to go capture

those stinky dog
things of lilo's

and give them to you?!

Exactly.

And why don't I take them

straight to the dog pound?

Uh... because, uh...
Because I... because!

And why do you want me?

You are rudely rude and
pleasantly unpleasant,

and you do not like
the one called lilo.

That's the one thing
you said I understand.

So you will do it?

Sure. I mean, it's not
like I have any friends

to keep me busy anymore...

Thanks to lilo!

But I don't work
weekends, nights,

holidays, or whenever
I don't want to.

And I don't wear
a dopey red cape.

It's not dopey!

You try finding
something that looks good

with white fur!

Unh! Uhh!

Ok, fine.

But I will have to
ask you to wear this.

What is that thing?

Oh, just a little something

to help me keep
in touch with you,

and to turn you into a robot.

Turn me into a robot?!

Ha ha ha! Yes!

Turn you into a robot!

Now I have complete control!

Hoo hoo! Ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ahh...

I should have done
this to gantu years ago.

Ready for mission.

Yes. Now bring to
me experiment .

Aloha, Mrs. Edmonds.

Do you need some help?

Unh. Oh, yes. Thank you.

These dolls are
heavier than I thought.

Dolls?

Yes. Myrtle's decided

to give away some of the dolls

she's not playing with.

Not playing with?

Well, she doesn't
think they're pretty,

she doesn't like their clothes,

and she thinks they're
just kind of boring.

Isn't that cute?

I'll tell myrtle you're here.

Stitch, this is terrible!

I messed everything up
with my eavesdropping.

It's just what nani
warned me about.

I'll have to tell
myrtle everything.

Target identified.

Myrtle, are you ok?

Aah!

Target pursuit.

Aaaah!

Target capture.

Hey! Myrtle, what
did you just do?!

Give him back!

I think that is very unlikely.

Losheebah!

You see, your not
so friendly friend

works for me now.

Meet my new experiment hunter.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hamsterviel, I can't believe

you turned myrtle into a robot!

You'll never get away with this.

Ah, but already I have
gotten away with this.

Ready for my next
assignment, master.

Myrtle, quit saying that.

No, keep saying it. I like it.

Losheebah! Grrrrrr.

Stitch!

The immobilizer
ray is working nicely!

Ha ha ha!

Let us try it
on the little girl!

Stop right there,
red-haired menace!

You are not taking my job.

Uhh... oh!

Ha ha!

Go away, you
algae-smelling ex-employee!

I fired you!

If I'm not working for you,

then you can't
tell me what to do.

What's this all about myrtle being
the new dummy head, dummy head?

I will not let that happen.

I hope not.

She might actually
be good at it.

That's it, get him!

Uhh! Uhh! The
aiming on this thing

is horrible! Unh!

Uhh! Uhh!

The immobilizer is wearing off.

Oh... ooh... ow.

Waaah!

Imbalance! Defensive mode!

Defensive mode!

Give me that experiment.

Whooahhh!

Got him!

Fine. It'll be easier

taking the trog from you.

Chimito!

No, no, no, no, no!

This is not what I had planned

in my planning stages! Hey! Hey!

Blitsnak.

Good. Now get that experiment,

you new experiment getter!

Hey, myrtle, look at me.

Must destroy lilo.

No, no! Get the experiment!

Here I am!

Aah!

Aah-ha!

No, no. Shield up! Shield up!

Temporarily... Immobilized.

Hurry, stitch.

Let's get her to jumba.

Maybe he can de-robotify her.

Get up and work,
you immobilized pile

of immobile robot parts!

Eh, will be easy to fix.

Eye covering pieces
basic model t- .

Huh, on home planet,

can buy at convenience store.

Will she remember being a robot?

Uh, sadly, no.

Uh, just wondering,
before I deactivate,

is easy for me to make
some... Improvements.

Do you mean
tampering with her mind...

To turn her from
a holy little terror

into someone kind, caring,

and considerate of others?

Exactly. Do it!

Oh, yeah, do it!

It's tempting...

But it just wouldn't be right.

Mmm, ok. Here goes everything.

Myrtle? Weirdlo?

What am I doing here?

Uh... you got sick,

so I brought you to my uncle.

He's a doctor.

Eww! I'm in your house?!

How long have I been here? Oh!

I'm probably covered
in weird germs.

Is it to late for those...
Improvements?

Aloha, guys.

You know, I think you guys
are being to hard on myrtle.

I mean, none of this
would have happened

if I hadn't listened in
on her conversation

in the first place.

I know she's kind of difficult,

and it was not very nice

when she was sh**ting
green rays out of her eyes,

but she is your
best friend, and...

We know. You do?

Yeah. She told us everything.

I can't believe you thought

she was talking about us

when she was
talking about her dolls.

Yeah. Yeah.

Ready to go, girls?

You're not invited to play
with us, weirdlo... Again.

I guess I had that coming.

Come on, stitch.

I think I know where
shush belongs.

We gotta make a phone call.

Shush, it's just not right

to listen in on people's
private conversations...

Unless you're an agent

of the secret,
underground government.

I no longer operate
in that area, lilo.

I'm just a normal social worker

paying a normal house call.

She is giving
your little monster

to that strange,
frightening man.

Should have never
trusted this person.

Hello there.

Howdy-ho!

However, I do have some
former colleagues in Virginia

who might be interested
in this creature's

unique capabilities.

I thought you might.

You can have your
stinking job back!

Thank you, sir. Thank you!

I promise you will see a
more determined gantu

who captures many,
many more experiments.

Don't be absurd. I
am only rehiring you

so that I may berate you.

I shall begin with
your clumsiness.

You are so clumsy!

Aww...

And your fishiness.
You are so fishy!

I cannot stand how
fishy your fishiness is!
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