07x01 - Dumptown U.S.A.

[bunniefuu]

Okay, whoever makes this jump gets to choose lunch.

You're on! Ohhhhh! We're going to wing kingdom! Rigby, did you clean out the gutters yet?

No way.

That's a two

-man job.

Where's mordecai?

I don't know.

I haven't seen him.

Come to think of it, I haven't seen him Since c.

J.

Dumped him at muscle man's wedding.

Yeah, no one has.

He hasn't come to work for two weeks now.

I've tried calling, but he won't pick up.

What?

! No, here.

I'll call him.

Huh.

That's not like mordecai.

I can't believe this! You don't even know where your best friend is?

Hey, I've been busy.

Look, I'm just as concerned about The well

-being of my employees as any park manager, But I've got a business to run here.

If you don't find mordecai And bring him back to work by tomorrow, Then I'm gonna have to fire him.

What?

! Wait! I can find him! Well, for your sake, I hope so.

Otherwise, you'll be cleaning the gutters solo from now on.

Come on, mordecai.

Give me a clue here.

Hello?

Hey.

I checked with Margaret.

She hasn't seen or heard from mordecai.

Yeah, his parents don't know where he is, either.

And I don't think he'd be hanging with c.

J.

Any time soon.

Well, guess I'll start putting up these fliers around town.

Hopefully, 100 should be enough.

Well, I'll keep riffling through his personal stuff That he doesn't like me touching.

See ya.

Huh?

"Dear, mordecai, stop wallowing in your lady woes" "And come have sodas" "With other single bros!" There's a place with hot Sandy beaches And an all you can eat buffet.

So pick up your sax and jam with the crew In dumptown U.

S.

A.

! "Signed, sad sax.

" Aah! Sad sax guy?

I should have known! And dumptown U.

S.

A.

?

That sounds so lame! I bet nobody's even been to this place.

I have.

Dumptown is a refuge for guys who have recently been dumped, A place where they can forget about their breakups And embrace their newfound singlehood.

Wow.

That's depressing.

Oh, no! Dumptown is great! Throughout my life, whenever I got dumped, It was the perfect place To forget about all my ex

-girlfriends.

Ashley who?

Monica who?

Patricia who?

Lisa who?

Whoo

-hoo! Audrey who?

! Yep.

Good times.

So good that some people don't ever leave.

And I don't blame them.

Okay, well, how do I get there?

The only way you can get to dumptown Is to get dumped.

So Let me get this straight.

You Want me to dump you?

Yes.

As in break up with me?

Yes.

So you can be magically transported To a beach full of losers So mordecai doesn't lose his job?

Yeah, that's right.

No! Aw, come on! It's not for reals! Fine.

Rigby, it's not you It's me.

I think we should see other people.

Nothing's happening.

Well, put some more feeling into it.

It's not called gentle letdown U.

S.

A.

I got to get dumped.

Well, I guess you are pretty immature.

Go on.

You don't floss or brush your teeth at all.

Keep going.

You're irresponsible, lazy, You never try anything new! Now we're talking! I've been wanting to try that new Ethiopian place For weeks now, and you won't Whoa! Okay.

I think that's good.

You know what?

! It's over! Get out! Consider yourself dumped, loser! Don't call me! Did I just get dumped for reals?

Pfft.

Chicks, man.

How long have you been up there?

! Brother, I saw the whole thing.

It wasn't for reals! That's what they all say.

Luckily, I have a consolation prize for you A one

-way ticket to a place to make the sad times go away.

So, am I supposed to take a cab or Huh?

Oooooaaaaaaaah! There she is Dumptown U.

S.

A.

You're gonna love it here, man.

I'm not here for me! I'm here to find my friend mordecai! Mordecai?

Oh, yeah! I brought him here like two weeks ago.

You know where I can find him?

Well, he's probably on a food run.

The new guy always gets the food.

Try dumptown deli.

All right, man, this is you.

What?

You're not coming with me?

Dumpees only, brother.

I'll chill around here until you get back.

Ugh! I hate that song! Ugh! Everybody's all gross and wearing bathrobes in public.

Excuse me, sir, have you seen a tall guy By the name of mordeca