07x32 - Marvolo the Wizard

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Regular Show". Aired: September 6, 2010 – January 16, 2017.*
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Series revolves around the daily lives of two 23-year-old friends – Mordecai (a blue jay) and Rigby (a raccoon) – who work as groundskeepers at a park, and spend their days trying to avoid work and entertain themselves by any means.
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07x32 - Marvolo the Wizard

Post by bunniefuu »

La, la

-la, la

-la, ah! Aah! What in the dickens?

! Aah! Where did the house go?

! I've gone back in time.

Watch where thou doth walketh! Oh, my! You like tomatoes?

How about these tomatoes?

! Enhh! Aah! How about another?

And another?

Oh, oh, oh! Aah! Ooh! Ahh.

Ooh! Eeh! Bad show! All right, now, I know things have been crazy with the dome and everything, but thanks for getting up early and setting up for the renaissance fair.

This is gonna be a big money

-maker for us.

One last thing As of this moment, your modern selves are no more.

Mordecai and rigby, you'll be mordicus and rignatius, lowly street vendors.

Skips, you'll be barnaby the ripped, guard to the king.

Fives and muscle man, you'll be palom and porom, gatekeepers.

I'm not wearing this, bro.

This cut isn't flattering to my butt.

And of course, I will play king Edmund of parklandia! Where's my wizard?

Where's marvolo?

If you mean pops, nobody's seen him all morning.

What?

! He's the star of our big closing ceremony, "marvolo vs.

The dragon"! We have a dragon?

Yes! Without a big closer, the commoners will demand refunds.

Find marvolo, and don't breaketh thy character, or I'll smite thee with unemployment! Ehh, the things I do for a paycheck.

I'm not gonna wear this.

I hope the power doesn't go to his head.

Uh, excuse me?

Help?

I'm trying to get to my own time.

What's the matter, love?

You lost?

Freak! Oh, another fine mess I've gotten myself into.



- How will I ever get home?

This costume is making my butt itch.

Rignatius, stay in character, or we're gonna get fired.

Oh, sorry.

Mine butteth itcheth.

No, wait mine bottometh?

Me cheeks?

Yeah, that worketh.

Me cheeks itcheth! Mordecai and rigby! I thought I'd never see you again! Oh, dude, pops Uh, I mean marvolo.

Marvolo?

No, it's me, pops.

No, no, you are marvolo, huh, the wizard, yeah?

What's wrong with your eye?

Listen, marvolo, you have a very important job to do.

You have to defeat the dragon, or everyone will demandeth a refund.

Dragon?

I won't fight a dragon, mordecai and rigby! Marvolo, do you want to be sacked?

Call us mordicus and rignatius.

Yeah, the mordecai and rigby you know haven't been born yet.

Cometh with us, and we shall explain everything.

You don't want to make king Edmund mad, do you?

Mad king?

The king's not gonna like this.

What doth thoust mean you lost him?

He got frightened and fled.

He seems really confused, my liege.

Impossible.

This doth be unacceptable! Hey, man, don't yell at us! Pops is the one flipping out.

"Flipping out"?

Mine ears ache from period

-inappropriate prose.

Mayhaps a refund is in order, auntie.

Pay no heed! The king wishes good tidings on thee all! Huzzah! Huzzah! Now go forth and encourage others to spend coin of their own.

What did I say about breaking thine character?

Forgiveness! Forgiveness! No matter.

It appears I must fetch marvolo mine

-self.

This is bogus Like, super

-lame

-o

-deluxe.

Yeah, totally wack, guys.

By order of mad king Edmund, these two shall be punished for the crime of not staying in character! You maketh me sick! Fine.

I'll wear the costume.

Oh, muscle man, hi five ghost! You are stuck in this dreadful place, as well?

Our names are palom and porom, sir.

The mad king's reign of terror must end, marvolo.

I'm not marvolo! Why does everybody keep calling me that?

I just want to go home.

Only you can end this.

End this, marvolo.

Yeah, end this.

Hey, seize marvolo by the order of mad king Edmund! He's, like, really, really upset about this.

Seize him!

- Aah!

- Go, bro! Quiet, oaf! Aah! Aah! No

-o

-o

-o

-o

-o! Huh?

Marvolo the wizard, a powerful dragon hath descended upon us, and only ye can stop it! Oh, you must be the mad king.

Look, marvolo, if you don't slay the dragon right now, the commoners will demand refunds, and my kingdome shall crumble! For the last time, stop calling me marvolo! Skips, am I back home?

I know not of this skips.

I am barnaby the ripped.

King Edmund hath sent me to prepare ye for battle against the dragon, marvolo.

What?

Oh, no.

Take this.

For the closing ceremony, all you have to do is point it at the dragon and press ye button to defeat it.

You can end all of this, and we can go home.

The kingdome of parklandia awaits thee.

Everybody's telling me I'm marvolo.

Maybe I am marvolo.

Who am I?

You are marvolo.

No.

It can't be.

It is so.

I am you, and you are me.

Then it doth be true.

Oh! Yes.

You are ready.

It is time to face your destiny.

End this.

I am marvolo.

Presenting king Edmond of parklandia! My loyal subjects, thank ye for joining me on this glorious day.

I trust your experiences in my kingdome hath been most pleasurable.

May we rejoice in hopes that nothing bad should ever happen.

I said, "may we rejoice in hopes" that nothing bad should ever happen"! Yeah, yeah.

I heard you.

Fire The fire! Oh, no! This is truly the greatest calamity in the history of parklandia! There is only one wizard who can put on end to this reign of terror! Presenting marvolo the wizard! Uh, ooh! Oh! Man, this is lame.

We should have gone to the ren fair over at east pines instead.

Ye olde refund! Ye olde refund! Fight, marvolo! Fight to the death! Oohhhhh! Ooh! Here! Give me that! Leteth go, man! Servant, save ye king! Marvolo, get thine wand, and press the button! Hm! All right, you big brute.

This ends now! I did it?

Good show! Aah! Pops! Best ren faire ever! I did it! I defeated the dragon! Now I get to go home.

He's waking up.

King Edmund, barnaby, rignatius, and mordicus?

No, pops, it's us.

Everything is back to normal.

The park broke even, and all is well.

But I was in medieval times.

It was so real.

You were a mad king, and you were there, and you, and you, and I was Shhhhhhhhhh.
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