08x12 - Stuck in an Elevator

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Regular Show". Aired: September 6, 2010 – January 16, 2017.*
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Series revolves around the daily lives of two 23-year-old friends – Mordecai (a blue jay) and Rigby (a raccoon) – who work as groundskeepers at a park, and spend their days trying to avoid work and entertain themselves by any means.
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08x12 - Stuck in an Elevator

Post by bunniefuu »

Fist Pump! One night only! Fist Pump has come out of retirement/prison for one last show, "their" Lasers 4 Lyfe Concert and Laser Light Show Extravaganza.

" The U.

N.

banned Fist Pump from playing the show anywhere On Earth for being, "Incredibly dangerous.

" Well, guess what, Earth?

Fist Pump didn't think you were even that cool anyways.

Fist Pump has left that dusty old marble and is bringing "Lasers 4 Lyfe" to the vast expanse of space! Tonight, come pump your fists with Fist Pump in the Space Tree Observatory at the very top of the tree! Space Tree is not liable for any harm, burns, explosions, smoke Inhalation, blindness, eardrum degradation, boils, literal face

-melting, or other injuries that may occur.

Man, I never thought I'd be so excited for a Fist Pump show.

I must really be missing Earth junk.

Well, also, last time we worked all day to afford tickets and ended up sleeping through the entire show.

The universe is giving us a second chance for redemption.

Hmm

-hmm

-hmm.

This time, we got our tickets two weeks in advance.

Two tickets for hey! We took a long space nap.

We both downloaded this sweet lighter app for slow power ballads.

And we still have two hours to get to the show early.

Let's do this.

Fist Pump! Aww, what?

How come the tubes get you to the Top of the Space Tree in five seconds, but the line takes two hours?

Don't worry, dude.

I planned for this.

I know a secret elevator.

It'll take two hours to get to the top of the Space Tree, but there's no line.

Dude, nice work.

Follow me, dude.

Whoa! A Lift Master! Classic.

Yeeah! The 4,000 series is one of my favorite Lift

-Master Models.

Oh, it's on my top five for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah! No way! Their best music video was where they drove that truck With the big fist on the front into that high school.

And the they're all like Yeah, yeah.

And then all the teachers get turned into swimsuit models.

So stupid.

Here's the best part! Rigby, what the heck did you do?

Don't worry, I just hit the "stop" button.

No big deal.

All I gotta do is press the button for the top floor.

Dude, we're not moving.

Just press the button.

Try hitting the stop button again.

Oh, yeah!

- Nothing!

- Here, let me try.

Come on! Come on! We're gonna be late for Fist Pump! Dude, you gotta press it harder! Hwah! Rigby, you're gonna break it.

Look, we'll try the call box.

Maybe they need to reset the system or something.

Baby, baby Hello?

Hello?

Dude, no one's answering.

Okay, okay, don't panic.

What did we do when we were stuck in that meat locker?



- Help!

- Help! Get us out of here! The emergency phone's not working! Wait a sec.

We've got our own phones.

Oh, yeah! Oh, man.

I don't have any reception.

Hmm, I think I'm getting a little something over here.

Gimme a boost.

Almost got it.

Where'd it go?

Rigby! Ha! One bar! Oh, sweet.

There's an update for the lighter app! Now they also have a blow torch, a glow stick, and Whoa! A tiki torch! See, Mordecai?

See?

See?

See the tiki torch?



- Rigby, just call for help.



- Chill, man.

This'll just take a second.

Gotta have my sweet lighter for Fist Pump! Hmm.



- What is it?



- My battery just d*ed.



- What?

!

- Oof! Rigby, you idiot! Why'd you have to break the elevator?

We were this close to seeing Fist Pump.

Instead, we're stuck here in this tiny little box.

And it'll probably be hours before anyone notices we're gone.

Plus, who knows how long it'll take 'em to get us out of here?

It's just a good thing your claustrophobia's not acting up.

I gotta get out of here.

I gotta get out of here! Dude, will you relax?

Three, four, five! That's the last time you throw a dance party, maggots! No one's answering.

We're trapped.

It's cool, man.

We're gonna be okay.

You don't know that! I can't breathe! This shirt's too tight! Rigby.

The only thing left to do is to pose our bodies so we leave behind cool

-looking skeletons.

We're not gonna die in here.

Lemme get that.

We had a good run, man.

We're gonna get out of here, okay?

So just focus on thinking about good things.

Like hot wings, Strong Johns, Cheezers.

Cheezers.

I wish they had a Cheezers on the Space Tree.

Yeah.

But we've got most of the stuff we had back on earth.

So it's still pretty cool.

Yeah.

But what are we gonna do when we leave the Space Tree to go on our mission?

I don't know.

What are we gonna do?

Who knows what it's gonna be like out there?

It might totally suck.

Yeah.

And good luck getting Rawls to tell you anything about it.

And, dude, we don't even know when we're going back to Earth or if we're going back.

Mordecai?

Y'know, even if we get out of this elevator, we're still trapped inside a big metal box, floating through space.

Any illusions we once had of being masters of our fate have been forfeited to a man who'd rather preoccupy us with push

-ups than prepare us for whatever horrors await us out there in the cold, infinite abyss.

Dude, Mordecai, it's cool, man.

No, Rigby, it's not.

You know, Fist Pump's a dumb band, but we may have just missed our last chance to ever see another rock concert.

I miss Earth.

All alone in the world tonight Got nothing left to even put up a fight No! We're not missing Fist Pump again! This might be our last chance to enjoy one of our favorite things from Earth.

Get up! Dude, it wasn't meant to be.

Let's just wait here till someone saves us or till we starve to death.

I don't care whatever.

Get up.

Dude, I Ow! Oof! Okay! Okay! Quit it! Sheesh.

Now I'm standing.

Happy?

Hold still.

Uhhh, ah! Oof! Hey! I can see our floor! Get up here! We're climbing.

Fine.

Must see Fist Pump! This is the floor! Come on, man! Eh.

Hello?

Anybody out there?

! Help! Whoo! Fist Pump! Anyone?

! Dude, nobody can hear us! Eh, useless.

Uhhh, there's an open vent up here! Follow me! Dude, come on! Fine.

Where do you think this thing goes?

I don't know, but it doesn't feel very sta Uh, are we still in the Space Tree?

We can't be too far from the observatory.

Let's keep moving.

What was that?

I don't know, dude.

I can't see a thing! Something's in here with us.

Dude, get out that lighter app.

You dare wake my children?

You dare disturb their peaceful sleep?

! You must be punished.

I will throw you both into Bottomless Pit of Eternal Darkness! Ha ha.

Pretty scary, right?

Well, I mean, yeah.

I guess it is.

Sure.

Come on, man! It's terrifying! I put a lot of work into it.

Well, it's just that it doesn't look that bottomless?

Yeah, yeah, exactly what I was gonna say.

You know, wait.

I think I can actually see the bottom.

Silence! All right, all right.

We were just trying to go see our favorite band from Earth play.

It might be our last chance ever to see Fist Pump.

I don't care what you Wait.

What?

Did you say Fist Pump?

I haven't heard that name since I left Earth.

Yeah, dude.

They're playing at the top of the Space Tree tonight.

I stowed away under their bus for their entire "Fresh Outta Prison" tour three years ago.

Those were good times.

But then I met my wife, had a couple hundred children, and then she wanted to move out to space to be closer to her family.

So here I am, five minutes from the in

-laws and a million miles away from the nearest rock concert.

And all I have to show for it is a pit that isn't even that bottomless.

Sometimes I really miss Earth.

Do they still have pizza there?

Yeah.

Do they still not let giant bats into pizza parlors?

Yeah.

Dude, Fist Pump is playing right now! Well, my wife's gonna be at her book club for another couple hours.

Whaddya say we sneak off to a concert?

Huh?

Cool! Cool! Come on, sing with all your might Let it out, it's Saturday night Lazers 4 lyfe Dude, watch out! Yeah, you better hold on! I don't know if this is gonna work! Aaaagh! Aaaagh! Lasers 4 Lyfe Aww

-yeah

-uh! Lasers 4 Lyfe Hey, hey, hey, hey The music's loud for hanging out Aaagh! My eyes! Just kidding.

I'm already blind.

Doesn't even hurt.

Dude, space is pretty cool.

Yeah, it is.

Fist Pump!
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