08x13 - The Space Race

[bunniefuu]

Okay, last lap of the race! Right turn coming up on the radar.

Doin' it! Boost me! Whoa! Whoa! What do you think you're doing?

Uhhhhh Uhhhhh How many times do I have to explain what "Authorized Personnel Only" means?

Are you authorized personnel, boys?

Are you?

- No, sir.

Sorry, sir.

- No, sir.

Sorry, sir.

Now, get down and give me 50!

- Yes, sir.

Sorry, sir.



- Yes, sir.

Sorry, sir.

Is what I would have said if you hadn't have gotten the highest score in "Space Racer Deluxe" I've ever seen.

You mean that video game?

That isn't a video game, boys.

It's a racing simulator for the Station Racing League! The Interstation 5000, an annual competition between all the stations in the area.

For five years, the Space Bushes held the Interstation trophy, but this could be the year I finally b*at Tanner and win that milk can! Ohhh, when I feel that milk pour over my body, it'll be like I'm born again as a champion! I need you boys to race for me.



- Okay.



- Okay.

Why are we here?

Uh, you're the pit crew.

How are we gonna be the pit crew?

This is crazy.

Are we gonna get trained?

You think I haven't thought of that?

Meet Hans and Lars.

They're our best racers, or at least they were until you guys b*at their high score in the racing simulator.

What?

These nobodies b*at our score?

That's impossible! Well, it was an accident.

Yeah, we didn't know it was gonna be that easy.

Easy?

! Did you say "easy"?

Aw, now, don't get all sour, Larsy.

Everyone loses their edge at some point.

Edge?

! We have edge.

Yeah, look at the edges.

We were born to race.

And that's why you're gonna teach Mordecai, Rigby, and their crew everything you know.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Nein, nein.

Nein.

We do not "teach.

" Well, you certainly haven't brought home the milk can for me in years, so I think it's time to try something new.

Rawls, wait! Just get 'em ready for the big race.

Hooah! So, what's first?

What's first is us.

We are always first.

Get it through your little head.

We have better things to do than babysit you babies.

Yeah, my cappuccino's now cold, and it's going to take me a while to make a new one.

Sorry.

Okay.

I've always hated hot

-sh*t racers.

Well, what are we gonna do?

I mean, video simulators are one thing, but I have no idea what to do with this big hunk of metal.

Well, I can teach ya.

Toothpick Sally?

! Were you under there the whole time?

Yeah, I grew up around these tracks.

And first of all, they're not big hunks of metal.

They're BHM racers.

That's lesson one.

Now, if you do what I say, I can get you up to speed.

Yeah, but aren't Hans and Lars, like, the best racers ever?

Yeah, well, who do you think taught them?

Was it you?

Yes! Let's just get started.



- Yeah! Whoo!

- Awesome! They're ready.

Welcome to the Interstation 5000, sponsored by Anderson Farms Dairy.

That's your best team, huh, Rawls?

We're getting that can back to the Space Tree, Tanner! That milk is gonna be all over my body.

Huh.

Looks like the Space Bush is a no

-show.

Howdy, losers.

What the heck?

You guys work for the Space Tree.

Not anymore.

We're racing for Herr Tanner now.

Tanner! You lousy May the best team win.

It's the moment you've been waiting for, folks.

Racer roll call! Space Tree, check! Space Rock, check! Space Flower, check! Space Mushroom, hai! Space Bush, check.

Space Log, check! Anti one straight four.

Anti one straight four, check.

Initiate track rail g*n! Aah! Aah! Whoa.

Whoa.

Turn's coming up!

- Open right!

- Open right, check! Looks like Hans and Lars of Space Bush have taken the immediate lead while racers from Log and Mushroom try to close the gap.

Aah! Aah! Hey, Jolene, we got some tree boys over here.

Looks like they could use an arborist.

We're losing ground! Huh?

Rigby, what's over this hill?

I don't know.

It's just a bunch of blobs!

- Battening shield.



- Battening shield check!

- Takeshi! Tate!

- Tate! Dude, do we have a shield?

I don't know! I don't see a button for it! What's one little hole, right?

Asteroid field! Asteroid field! I just wanted to win that milk can! Fix the hole! Fix the hole! With what?

! I don't know! Just fix it! Keep it still! I got it! What'd you do?

! I didn't do anything! Pit crew, to your stations! Mordecai and Rigby, stand by.

Entering atmosphere.

Where's that pit ship?

Right here! Ow! Huh?

It's Hans and Lars's ratchet bot! They've been sabotaging you this whole time! We're getting too close to the surface! We got to get out of here! Prepare for core dive.

Core dive, check! Wow, those guys are really not living anymore.

Oh.

Other racers, coming up! Car insurance.

Car insurance, check.



- Aah!

- Ugh! Well, folks, looks like they've gone so deep inside the planet's crust, we've lost the signal.

Nothing to do now but see who comes out the other side for the win! Come on! Come on! Core coming up! We need more speed! I'm ejecting the body I think.

Dudes, why are you being such jerks?

You think you just get to come into space, b*at us at the simulator, then expect us to train you to replace us?

This is about you and us! Aah! Hey, Rigby, how'd we b*at their score in the simulator?

Good question, Mordecai.

Didn't we use a speed stick and win?

I don't remember.

Let's find out.

We're getting close to the finish line! Uhh! More speed! Faster, Rigby! Uhhhh! Uhhh okay! Ugh! Finish line is coming up.

Gravity's pulling us back in! We won't get to the surface! Our car is lighter than theirs.

We can make it.

Go! Get out there! All right, getting out there, check! Hm

-Hm

-Hm! Ugh! Huh! Huh?

Huh?


- Whoa!

- Yeah, whoo! Congratulations, boys! You did a great job out there.

- Thank you, sir.

- Now, let's par

-tay! Yes, yes, all over my body.

Oh, so smooth.