08x19 & 08x20 - Terror Tales of the Park VI

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Regular Show". Aired: September 6, 2010 – January 16, 2017.*
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Series revolves around the daily lives of two 23-year-old friends – Mordecai (a blue jay) and Rigby (a raccoon) – who work as groundskeepers at a park, and spend their days trying to avoid work and entertain themselves by any means.
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08x19 & 08x20 - Terror Tales of the Park VI

Post by bunniefuu »

It's great that even in space we can all get together and have our Halloween party.

So, what's your costume, again?

You know, I'm that guy in that one movie.

There's a time machine.

What?

Like, the one with the car?

No, there was, like, a storage locker.

It kind of just looks like you put on whatever was in your closet.

No, no.

You know the one.

It was a little indie.

Got a lot of critical acclaim.

All right, guys.

The dome's on autopilot to the Halloween nebula.

Well, Sally, I'm really digging this A real work of art.

Her enigmatic smile reminds me of the secrets we all carry within us.

What are you supposed to be?

You know, cool guy, ranch costume.

Think about it.

Ugh, I hate thinker costumes.

Recap, you excited about your first Halloween?

I don't feel excitement, but I had a fearometer installed just for today.

What's it at so far?

Negative

-four fears, Mordecai.

Well, you've never had Halloween with these guys.

They tell the scariest stories.

Anyone have a good one?

I have a story.

It's called "Fear Planet.

" What's going on?

Low fuel.

Computer, where can we get gas?

The nearest fuel is on Fear Planet, a planet that makes your innermost fears come to life.

Fear Planet, huh?

Sounds dangerous.

I mean, it'll probably be fine.

Looks like we don't have a choice.

Emergency landing activated.

Huh?

Ugh.

Of course we'd have to land this far from the gas station.

Guess it's up to me to get the gas.

Benson, maybe we shouldn't go outside.

Why?

I don't see anything out there.

Of all the ridiculous things.

Planet that makes fears come to life so silly.

I mean, the only thing I'm afraid of is sharks, anyway, and this place is bone

-dry.

Huh?

What was that?

See, guys?

What did I tell you Oh.

Just figments of my imagination.

They can't hurt me, right?

Come on.

Hurry up, hurry up! Let's go! Somebody's got to go get that gas can.

I'll do it.

If I can keep my mind clear, no fears will appear.

That's pretty good.

If I keep my mind clear, no fears will appear.

If I keep my mind clear, no fears will appear.

Whoa.

Look at him.

He's really doing it.

Nothing's happened.

No fears will appear.

I wonder what Skips is afraid of.

If I can keep my mind clear Hey, Skips! What are you afraid of?

! Bro, go long.

No.

No flying

-disc freestylers.

Hey.

Wait.

What are you Stay back.

No, please.

Stop! I'm afraid of the dark! Quick, Pops, go through the alphabet, and name cookies.

Anise cookies, butter cookies, chocolate

-chip cookies That'll keep him busy for a while.

Rock, paper, scissors for who goes out next?

Fortune cookies Ugh! All right.

Fine.

I'll go.

Gingerbread But if I see anything, it'll be way worse.

So I'm gonna close my eyes, and you'll have to guide me.

All right, you're doing good.

Keep going straight.

Kookie, but spelled with a "K" You're doing great, buddy! Almost there! All right, you made it! The can's on your right! Oatmeal cookies All right, so far I've kept my mind clear.

Quarzamali cookies Oh, no.

Dude, I'm really sorry! What did you do, Rigby?

It just popped into my head.

My greatest fear Amusement

-park mascots! What?

Aah! A shark?

That's one of Benson's fears.

I'm scared of other people's fears now, too.

Like flying

-disc freestylers.

Skips was right.

They are creepy.

Go, go, go, go, go! What?

Where's the key?

Where's the key?

And then more flying

-disc freestylers show up, and they hit them, they hit them, and they hit them.

Skips, was this just your way of saying you don't like flying

-disc freestylers?

They're wobbly and unpredictable.

Who knows where that disc will end up?

Did it scare you, Recap?

My fearometer gave it two fears.

Wow.

Two out of four fears.

That's a lot.

This is more scared than I've ever been.

I'm very impressed and thankful.

Goodnight.

Wait.

Hold on.

I think you'll have a hard time turning your bat on this one.

I don't own any bats, and it seems they would be very hard to steer.

No, it's N

-never mind.

So there we were, trick

-or

-treating, and things were going great.

What a great haul.

People seem to mostly be giving out quinoa, gorp, and toothbrushes.

It's not ideal to me, but like Eileen always says You can't put a price on proper dental hygiene.

Oh, you guys.

I still want candy, though, 'cause that's a core part of who I am.

Dude, check it out.

"King

-size candy bars inside"?

But what about that other sign?

"Dome quarantined umpire infestation"?

That's perfect! Baseball games have tons of great food, and this place has king

-size candy.

That's four peanut

-butter cups per pack instead of two.

Oh, yeah.

That's true.

Wow.

Great value.

That's a pretty good deal.

Hmm.

Wait up! Trick or treat.

Hello?

We're here for your candy, bro! If you say you have a free thing, it's illegal not to give it out.

Mm.

You guys, I don't know if this is a good idea.

I'm not leaving without those king

-size peanut

-butter cups I was kind of promised.

Let's try the kitchen.

Something doesn't seem right.

It could be the late 1400s' eastern European gothic stylings, but maybe I'm mistaking the media's vilification of certain architectural elements as my own opinion.

I think it's cozy.

Kind of reminds me of my mom's place but with more mosquitos.



- Mosquitos?



- Yeah, like that one that just landed on my neck.

I don't understand single

-use kitchenware.

Why get a tiny skillet that can only cook one egg when you can get a normal skillet that can cook a lot of things?

Aah! That sign on the gate didn't say "umpires.

" It said "vampires"! Wha

-a

-a

-t?

Come on.

Garlic! We need garlic! Wait.

Perfect.

Quick Take these.

Garlic mashed potato

-o

-oes! Huh?

Mashed potatoes with chives?

Skips! Huh?

Everybody, w*apon up! An eye patch, Rigby?

Yeah, I'm kind of feeling it.

Run! It's the king

-size candy bars.

No, Rigby, it's too dangerous.

We came all this way.

I'm not leaving without 'em.

Dude, get me two! I don't care what the sign says! No! Huh?

Wha?

Aah! Aah! Rigby! I got the peanut

-butter cups! Wait.

These aren't king

-size.

They're count

-size! No! No! No

-o

-o! Okay, but so then you are an umpire?

I was, but now I am a vampire umpire a vumpire.



- Oh, I get it.



- Sure that makes sense.

Man, this candy doesn't taste good at all.

Yeah, once you're a vampire, you pretty much only want blood.

Cashews are good, too.

Oh, yeah.

Also cashews.

Trick or treat.

Are you ready for some real tasty treats?

Are we ever.

And then we all realized the moral implications of what we were doing and decided to work out a deal with the local blood bank.

The end.

What do you think, Recap?

Well, I don't have any blood, so I couldn't really find an entry point for me in the story.

My fearometer seems to be stuck at two.

What was that?

To the bridge.

What the?

We're off course.

Something's affecting our path.

That's just not possible.

Unless Warning.

Collision with black hole imminent.

Uh, that's a little scarier than Eileen's story.

O

-o

-ka

-a

-a

-y.

So I already know this is bad, but what are we looking at?

It's a black hole, Rigby! We'll be pulled into the event horizon in 15 minutes if we don't regain control.

On it.

Oh, this is terrible.

What happen if we're sucked into a black hole?

Well, one theory says that we would just travel to another part of the universe.

Another is that as we approach the singularity, we'll be stretched as thin as strands of spaghetti.

This spaghettification, as it were, would be horrible agony and pain forever.

Hey.

Who wants to hear another story?

This is a story about the scariest thing of all A lousy roommate.

The dome space

-cred balance had dwindled to almost zero, and times were only getting tougher.

Bros, there's eight hungry people living here.

Did you seriously just split that "O" once?

The only way we could see out of this rough patch was to bring in some extra income.

But finding a roommate wasn't easy.

So, do you have a lot of guests over?

I mean, we're not opposed to visitors.

It's just that we have a lot of people in the house already, so I'm pregnant.

Would you spend a lot of time out on the town, or are you at home more?

More time at home.

I'm really into scrapbooking.

I always keep a lock of hair from the roommates I eat.

What kind of activities do you enjoy?

Who knew there so many ways o be unacceptable.

Well, that's the last of them.

All in favor of robbing the space bank in lieu of getting a new roommate?

Aye.

Hey, it looks like there's one more.

Oh, hello.

Okay, let's get down to the interview, then.

Do you have any weird habits we should know about?

Do you, like, play the bassoon in the middle of the night or anything?

Can you pay the rent?

Huddle! I don't know.

She seems kind of creepy.

Doesn't seem to be the most articulate, either.

But she can pay the rent.



- That's all that matters.



- Yes.

When can you move in?

So, we're gonna need the deposit up front.

Shannon had everything we wee looking for in a roommate, but it didn't take long for us to realize that we might've made a mistake.

Hello?

Shannon?

Do you think you might be finished with your shower soon?

Yeah! Don't make me wash my chimis in the kitchen sink, amiga.

Can someone please tell me why there's a soda can in the trash and soiled tissues in recycling?

! Aw.

Hey, has anyone seen my sandwich nibblers or my chippy squares or my creamy nugs?

You know, the plunger's right next to the toilet and not that complicated.

I can't believe this.

All she ever does is binge

-watch "Carter and Briggs.

" I haven't been able to do any of my TV stuff all week.

Shannon tried to make up her shortcomings in other ways but it wasn't enough.

It was time to kick her out.

Carter and Briggs, get in here! Shannon, we're not gonna take your dirty money anymore.

We've got to talk to you about a few things.

Hey, Shannon.

We're trying to talk to you.

You have to leave, Shannon! Ugh, she's not listening to us at all.

Carter Stay back! Hey, guys.

Just wanted to get some face time?

Whoa, Chance, you okay?

Well, as a hole, I've definitely felt better.

Worst roommate ever! First she uses all the hot water, and now she's taken Chance out of commission, too.

That chick really likes her TV.

Ugh! We got to find her.

Let's split up.

Hello?



- Uh, Shannon?



- Uh, Shannon?

Look, we really need you to leave, all right?

We'll even give you your full deposit back.

Ha! Darn.

Shanno

-o

-o

-n! Hey, there's a note.

Let's see.

"Dear roommates," I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused I've been really uncool and that wasn't cool of me.

"Please accept my heartfelt apologies.

" Pretty cool of her to admit that.

"Turn over for more.

Just kidding.

" Mr.

Recap?

Huh?

Bad show! Are you all right?

What happened?

T

-The robot Shannon disassembled him, but then she disappeared! There's miles of ductwork in the dome.

Ugh! She'll be here forever.

Great, not only is she a murderous monster, she's a squatter now, too.

This has gone far enough.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

All right.

Everyone ready?



- Ready.



- Ready.

Phase 16 is a go.



- No!

- Aaaaah! Come on.

Come on.

Target is in place.

Move.

Move!

- Hm

-hm! She's gaining, dude! Hurry! I'm going! I'm going! We're almost at the mini dome! Flame on.

There's the airlock.

Jump! Carter and Briggs.

Now! Huh?

Open the external door to suck her out into space.

Uh, why didn't anything happen?

Huh?

But I pressed the Her acid melted the wires.

No! Now we're stuck with her forever! Hey, Shannon, you're being evicted.

Let me show you the door! Muscle Ma

-a

-n! I didn't have time to think this all the way through! I kind of wish I didn't do this now! Nobody touch my stu

-u

-u

-u

-ff! Muscle Man's sacrifice was noble.

Shannon was finally gone, but we were left with a dilemma.

Now we needed two roommates.

You know, I think this time we made the right decision.

Definitely.

You're gonna be a great mom.

The end.

Well?

Eh, I don't know.

It was kind of scary.

My, that was terrifying.

Six fears.

Guys.

Guys.

Guys! We weren't able to steer away from the black hole.

We're going in!

- Huh?



- Are we alive?

It's spaghettification.

This is what happens in a black hole.



- Could be worse.



- Doesn't hurt.

Yeah, it's not that bad.



- Pretty cool.



- I'm still looking good.

But wait Where's Pops?

Yoo

-hoo

-hoo! Over here! Spaghetti

- and

-meatballification.

Cool.

Huh?

It's Parmesan cheese?

No! No! Good evening.

I'm astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.

What are you doing?

You got to save us! Just save us! Save us! Oh, you can't be saved now.

You see, when you entered the black hole's event horizon, your destiny was sealed by science and then finished up by me,

- Neil deGrasse Tyson.

- No! Sorry, guys.

It's nothing personal.

This is just how the universe works.

Spaghettification is real.

And delicious.

Happy Halloween!
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