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02x03 - Wine & Neighbors

Posted: 03/18/23 16:41
by bunniefuu
I don't know, I just
never learned cursive.

What? How?

What does your signature look like?

- All caps.
- Wild.

[GROANS] Come on, get out of there.




♪ ♪

Was I supposed to leave
it up there forever?


I mean, I will, you know,
if you just tell me to.

I'm an ally.

♪ Whoop, whoop ♪

♪ Cabernet and sauvignon ♪

♪ Team is here and now it's on ♪

♪ Carry on and Carignan,
sippin' on Perignon ♪

♪ Fine wine, got notes like a cello ♪

♪ Pull up in the spot like hello ♪

♪ If you got me, then I got you ♪

♪ This is the vibe, this is the crew ♪

♪ Grand crew, grand crew, uh ♪

♪ Grand crew, grand
crew, grand crew, uh ♪

♪ Grand crew ♪

♪ ♪

Noah's back in these streets.
Tony's back in these streets.

The whole single squad is back, baby.


But also, I am sorry for
y'all recent heartbreaks.

No need to apologize.

The past couple weeks have
been a little rough at home,

but I recently realized something.

You can't be sad at home

if you're never at home to get sad.

So you're what? Just out all day?

Yeah, I'm not going back
home until I'm over Simone.

What does your therapist
think about all of this?

I'll catch him up next week
when I'm all better, bro.

Okay, Noah. Do your thing.

Anthony, how are you doing
since things ended with Talia?

- Oh, I'm good.

He hasn't said a word
about the breakup to anyone.

Look, Anthony and I, we built different.

We move on.

I've seen him deal with breakups before.

If he says he's good, he's good.

Actual and factual.

And you know who you
need to move on with?

- Neighbor bae.
- Okay, who's neighbor bae?

Oh, this hot girl who
lives in their building.

They've never talked to her.
They know nothing about her.

That's a lie. We know her and Anthony

have undeniable chemistry.



That's all that happened? She waved?

You had to be there. It
was a very sexual wave.

♪ ♪

So Fay, you're single,
and Anthony's single.

Yeah, so?

So you think you two
gonna ever, you know?

- Nicky, this is unlike you.
Let me take it from here.

Y'all gonna [BLEEP]?

[LAUGHS] Thanks, Wyatt.

You guys need to chill.

Being Anthony's rebound
would be way too messy.

Plus, I'm still looking
for a rebound myself.

[LAUGHS] Rebound?

Are you telling me

that you haven't had
sex since your divorce?

Shh, keep it down.

That is not that big of a deal.

How long you been divorced?

- months.
- Oh, my God!

- Calm down.
- Calm down?

With all the batteries
you been wasting? Damn.

I know. It's terrible, but... [SIGHS]

I don't know. All the guys I
dated, they're just too nice.

- I had a really great time.
- I did, too,

which is why I'm not
gonna kiss you or touch you

or make any moves because I respect you.


You're not gonna like this,

but you need the opposite of a nice guy.

[GROANS] You don't mean...

Oh, yes. I mean a jerk.

[FRENCH ACCENT] Le douchebag.

A purebred dog.

[GROANS] I think you might be right.

- Damn.
- Yeah.

- Let's get you a big dog.

♪ ♪

Yo, Anthony, what's wrong with you, man?

Did you hear my question?

Sorry. I was just
responding to a work email.

- What'd you ask?
- I said,

you think LeBron James is happy?

Like truly happy?

I do, actually.

Cool. Me too.

Neighbor bae, neighbor bae,

- neighbor bae, neighbor bae.
- Chill. I see her.

- Another sexual wave.
- Chill.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What's up?

I don't think we've officially met.

- I'm Lanice.
- I'm Anthony.

I'm Big Sherm.

My roommate and I are
actually having a party

at our place tonight.
You should come through.

Uh, that sounds awesome,
but, um, I can't make it.

I have work.

Well, if you get done with your work,

maybe I'll see you.


- Man, what... what was that for?
- You know what it was for.

♪ ♪


- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, boo.

Aw, hey, babe.

Thank you so much for letting
me crash at your place.

My apartment's plumbing will
be fixed in about a week,

but I just can't stay
any longer with this fool.

Call me fool one more
time and see what happens.

Ain't nothing gonna happen,

or it already would've happened.

Then say it again.

Say fool one more time.


♪ ♪

Whatever. I'ma get my bags.

Holy [BLEEP]. That was wild.

Yeah, you really saved
me by taking him in.

Speaking of which, are you sure
that you want to take him in?

Yeah, it's only for a
week, and he's my boyfriend.

Well, living together
forces you to compromise,

and you two, I'm sorry to say,
are very uncompromising people.

Do you want me to take him or not?

I do. I do. Forget
everything I just said.

Thank you.

Michael, get your ass down here! Damn!

♪ ♪

All settled in, my boo. [CHUCKLES]

Is it cool if I play some video games?

Oh, yeah, sure. I'm just
knocking out some work.

- Go play your little Nintendo.
- You're the best.

[LAUGHS] No, you're the best.

- No, you're the best.
- No, you're the best.

- No, you're the best.
- No, you're the best.

- No, you're the best.

[DEEP VOICE] No, you're the best.


- Uh-oh. What are you doing?
- Huh?

Oh, it's a VR system, so
I just some space to play.

- Is that a problem?
- Oh, um...

[CHUCKLES] Of course not.




Let's go!

Flank him!

♪ ♪

I can't believe you
turned down Neighbor Bae

after we finally learned her real name.

Yet you still call her "Neighbor Bae."

I don't use anybody's real name

the first year I meet them.

I used to call you "Veggie Burger."

And I really didn't like that.

Look, I'm sorry, but
you can still go tonight.

And be known as the weird neighbor

that shows up to a party by himself?

You'd really do that to me?


Look, I can help you with your work.

I'm a quick study, and I know numbers.

, , . ...
- You know what?

- I'm in.
- Really?

- Yes.
- Hey, let's get it, Veggie B.

- Hey.
- Veggie B, Veggie B, Veggie B.

- That's me.
- both: Veggie B, Veggie B,


- Yo.
- Yo.

I'm done with work.
You still want to party?

- Definitely.
- Cool.

- Let me call Noah and Wyatt.
- Word.

- Yo.
- Yo.

- Yo.
- Yo.

Party tonight at Neighbor Bae's.

- Want to come?
- I'm in.

As long as it's out, you know I'm in.

Can you pick me up at Calabasas?

You walked all the way to Calabasas?

You know it. [LAUGHS]

♪ Situations ♪

♪ Will arise ♪

♪ In our lives ♪

♪ But you got to be smart about it ♪

♪ Celebrations ♪

♪ With the guys ♪

♪ I sacrifice ♪

♪ 'Cause I knew you could
not sleep without it ♪

♪ Meanwhile I ♪

♪ I loved you ♪

♪ You were my girl ♪

♪ You don't have to call ♪

♪ It's okay, girl ♪

♪ 'Cause I'ma be all right tonight ♪

♪ ♪

[SCREAMS] Hi-yah!

My brother in arms,

together, we will save Nebulon!

Michael, please.

Damn, wow. How'd I get
all the way over here?

This really is an immersive experience.

Hey, do you mind being
just a little bit more quiet

while you defend Newbulars?

It's Nebulon, and the game is

"Nebulon Nine: The Last Nebuli."

- And it's awesome.
- Cool.

Oh, I see. You're annoyed.

No, I'm not annoyed.

Um, I think I'm trying to
say that the game is dumb,

- loud, and...
- Wow.

I hate this part of your personality.

All right, well, you know what?

The only way to resolve this

is for you to enter "Nebulon Nine."

Oh, no. I don't have time.

- But, Nicole.
- What?

The entire unified intergalactic

tribunal diaspora depends on you.

- They definitely don't.

Just play the game, and
if you don't like it,

I won't play it for as long as I'm here.

- Mm.
- Come on.

Prepare for intergalactic battle!

Babe, you just united the
entire Rack-Nack Galaxy.

- That's so freakin' hot.
- Yeah?

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, come here.
- Oh, ooh.

- I want to pick up your leg.
- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, oh.
- Oh, yeah.

Thanks for meeting me at such
a late hour at the last second

around the corner from our spot.

I'm sorry I didn't respond to your text

until, like, minutes ago.

Oh, it's fine. You're perfect.


Nice and you're, like... cool body.


Um, would you want to
get out of here, actually?

For real? Just like that?

- Yeah. Is that weird?
- No, it's great.

Almost too great. Who
put you up to this?


It was my girlfriend, wasn't it?

You have a girlfriend?

Uh-uh, you're not fooling me.

You can tell Monica I
passed the test this time.


♪ ♪

I'm just gonna say it.
There are not enough chairs

for the amount of people in this party.

Are you really already
complaining about a party

that you begged me to go to?

I'm just saying, people
need to have a place to sit.

Okay, who wants a drink?

- Noah.

What's up? Y'all sleeping?

No, you were sleeping, standing up.

- Maybe you should go home.
- No.

Home is where the heart is,
and right now, heart hurts.

I'm out, baby. I'ma take a nap.

I mean, a lap. I'ma take a lap.

Should we be worried about him?

No. We worry about
Noah all the damn time.

Let him figure this one out.

So you guys just gonna be weird

and stand in the corner all night?

Well, we ain't got a place to sit.

I was actually about to grab a drink.

- Can I get you one?
- I'll come with.

It's happening. It's
actually happening, Wyatt.

Why are you so surprised?

I thought you said
that there was a vibe.

I lied. There was no vibe at all,

but now, it's real.

What's wrong?

I was cleaning my wedding ring earlier,

and I forgot to put it back on.

Okay, so what's the big deal?

The big deal is that
all these single women

are gonna think that
I'm back on the market.

I have married swag,
and without the ring,

it's just swag.

You dramatic. That ain't a thing.

Hey. I'm Alexis. What your name?

♪ ♪

- Rosé for the lady.
- Oh, thanks.

Oh, what's this?

One of those fake-ass reality shows?

"Immediately Married" is not fake.

They really get married immediately.

- Mm. Sounds horrible.

I seem to remember someone saying,

"You can't make fun of
it until you try it."

You talking about the
man in the mirror, huh?

Yeah. I'm asking for
him to make a change.

To immediately have and hold

through immediate sickness
and immediate health

till death do you immediately part.

- I immediately do.
- I immediately do.

- I love this show.
- Immediately.

I can't believe Pauline wants five kids.

Really? I think five is,

like, the perfect amount of kids.

You can have a band. You
can have a basketball team.

The Jackson Five, that's five kids.

- How many kids you want?
- Two.

I like things in twos,
like shoes, boobs,

the Olsen Twins,

- the "Sister Act" movies.
- I guess that means

we're on kind of
different pages here, huh?


[GASPS] How about this?

- Four kids.
- Four kids?

All right, that's two sets of two, okay?

And if we want to do the
band or the basketball team,

I can just hop in. I can play hoop.

- I can play bass.
- Yeah.

- I can be the fifth member.
- Two kids, two spare kids.

I'm in. [LAUGHS]

Can I get your number?

I'm sorry, I'm married.

Hey, what's your story? [CHUCKLES]

Look at my man, using a
tiny-ass table as a chair.

- It's a tragedy.
- Yo, Sherm.

This is Lanice's roommate,
CJ, and her girlfriend Gabby.

Hey. Nice to meet you, Sherm.

CJ, nice to meet you. So
this is your place, huh?

And you've never thrown a party before.

- What?
- Nothing.

- You need more chairs.
- A group of us

are gonna h*t up this
karaoke spot that's open /

'cause, you know, I ain't going home.

- You want to roll?
- No, man.

I'ma go home and sit down.

All right, bet. Peace, dude.

Good night, y'all.

I'm getting too much
attention without my ring.

- I got to get out of here.
- Hey. Hey.

All right, man. I'm down to roll.

- Okay, I'll get Anthony.
- No. Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

Why y'all always got
to act so damn married?

You don't interrupt a man
when he's in his element.

I got this.

♪ Boy, are you trippin' ♪

They gonna hook up. We're good to go.

Yo, can you believe Noah is in Reno?

Seven! Yeah, this is way
better than being home!


Man, stop using Noah's crazy ass

to distract from telling me
what happened with Neighbor Bae

last night. Give me the juice.

Oh, no, no, no. I'd
rather not talk about it.

Oh, come on, man. I
don't need a full cup.

[BRITISH ACCENT] Just give me one little

- spot of tea please.
- Fine.

So things started out good.

Party was winding down and then
she asked me to go to her room.

- Then it was on.
- My man.

I just told you it doesn't end well.

I'm sorry. I'm just invested in

the ups and downs of the
story. Now, what went wrong?

Well, eventually as we were hooking up,

the music switched to
a very particular song.

♪ I'm so sick of love songs ♪