(male narrator)
Tonight,
the Jokers are back
on the stoop
to discuss the highs..
Hey, Murr, remember when you
tried to kiss that guy?
(male narrator)
...and lows.
I can't believe somebody
said that to a stranger!
I will give you
this whole thing free
if you show me your tits.
(male narrator)
plus, they'll show you
exclusive bonus scenes
from season one.
I got to take a poops.
You know, I got to make a peeps.
Quess who's got to do poops?
[laughter]
You know,
a lot of people ask me
"what is the difference
between season one
and season two
of "Impractical Jokers?"
And I got it for you.
It's one word,
special effects.
(all)
Hey!
Oh, they put me backwards!
And that was the first
and last you'll see
of the special effects.
But it was a good one.
That's it?
The budget's gone?
We have no more, but what
we do have more of..
never-before-seen footage
funny moments!
There's gonna be
tomfoolery, shenanigans.
- Ballyhoo?
- Tons of ballyhoo.
Oh! I said no ballyhoo.
We already ordered
the ballyhoo.
You know ballyhoo
k*lled my parents.
And you're still
bringing ballyhoo.
Alright, guys,
forget the ballyhoo!
Tomfoolery is coming at you.
Oh, tomfoolery!
On occasion, we sometimes
laugh while performing.
Some of us more than others.
Alright, you're not
pointing any fingers.
What are we here for if not
to laugh and enjoy ourselves?
I'm not gonna hold back.
You know you're not supposed
to laugh when you're out there.
And then sometimes somebody says
something in your ear
or you unveil something,
and it's over.
You're toast, man.
I know what it's like
to be toast.
- Hello.
- How you doing?
How are you? This is all yours?
- Yeah.
- We got some great cakes here.
What's the occasion
with all this cake?
Something good?
Who kicked the bucket?
Kick..
Oh, my God.
Who, uh, who cake..
[laughs]
Who caked the bucket?
[laughing]
Who...honestly, though.
Who caked the bucket?
Who caked the bucket?
[laughs]
(Murr)
'That's a really funny line.'
The worst you broke was in
"surprise funeral."
Oh, my..
That was, the stars aligned.
'Oh, this is awesome.'
'It's an old lady
for this charity.'
- How are you today?
- Sal, go ahead, man.
Rope her in.
(Joe)
'He has no idea what's
about to hit him.'
Let's just shove him
under the bus.
Get that charity money. Come on.
I wouldn't lead you astray.
- I can't look at it.
- Do it, buddy! Do it!
We're also collecting money
for charity today.
- I can't even look.
- Oh, my god.
It's a really good cause.
I've been collecting
for it for years now.
It's my own charity
that I made up.
[laughter]
It was a perfect storm of
of, person, title, topic.
It all came together.
I don't blame him.
How could you not
laugh on that one?
Q crumbled.
Crumbled in the art gallery.
You were useless!
You were a babbling idiot!
[applause]
Hi.
Thanks for coming down
to "Me, myself & I."
So, uh, without further ado.
Yes! And here we go.
That is..
[laughing]
'Wow.'
'Well, what happened here is..'
[laughing]
It looks like me
stepping on Chinese children.
[laughter]
I, I just got emotional.
You could give me , years
to come up with what might have
been under that if I lifted it.
And in , years, I would have
been like, "it's me..
...stepping on
Chinese children."
[laughter]
Sometimes you're out there
you got to make something
work, right?
You got to just pull something
out of your hat.
It really is survival
of the fittest out there.
And you're good at it
because you're a natural
in your natural state,
you're a [bleep].
Yeah.
(Sal)
'Alright, Murr,
let's do this, buddy.'
I wouldn't, uh, get that
brand if I were you.
- This one?
- Yeah, no, no, no, no.
Not at all.
I'll tell you why
I wouldn't get it.
n*zi Germany.
Um, I wouldn't get these
mostly because of n*zi Germany.
I don't know if you
know n*zi Germany.
Um, it's a little-known fact
that Eva Braun, who was
Adolf h*tler's wife had a baby
who survived after the
third Reich was overthrown
by the U.S. Government.
And that baby, she used to wipe
with this brand.
Um, so, it's a little bit like
if you buy this, you might be
supporting Nazis.
- What?
- Yeah. Crazy, I know.
It's crazy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
hold on. Wait a minute.
- Well..
- 'Didn't he just use it?'
I like to stay as far away
from Adolf h*tler as I can.
You'll just make up
anything on the spot.
Sure. Ask me anything right now.
Oh, how many elements are
there in the periodic chart?
, that they've just recently
found new ones
but before that..
In my experience
when you speak with confidence,
people will believe anything.
That's why I run
a successful cult.
[laughter]
This clown, making up car
words for human body parts.
Oh, this your Nissan Sentrus?
Yeah, right above your
Nissan Maximus.
Where exactly is the
Nissan Maximus?
it's between the regis philbin
and your anterior vena cava.
So, have you ever
done the heimlich?
No.
Joe, just start making up
medical terms.
So, you want to come right
under into the Nissan Maximus.
Push right here, right under
the, uh, regis philbin.
And you want to, until
something pops out.
Some people do a problem,
and they'll go right up top
on the Nissan altimas.
You want to get under to the
Nissan Maximus right here.
So, not too low
to the Nissan Sentrus.
You want to get him
right in the Pathfinder.
[laughter]
If people don't know
where the Nissan Sentrus is
it's up to me to educate.
What made you click and say
"I'm about to start naming
the full line of Nissans?"
During that week, I was
actually car shopping.
[laughter]
We're all pretty good at bs'ing
except for Q
with the vis-a-vis.
Yeah.
Q, you have to get somebody
to say the word "vis-a-vis."
Okay. Vis-a-vis..
Do you know where,
I can get coconuts?
Like, the whole coconut?
Fresh coconut?
Yeah, like, vis-a-vis,
like a coconut.
Makes no sense.
Like vis-a-vis that guy,
like, that little guy in there.
You know what I'm talking about?
Really? Vis-a-vis?
Vis-a-vis?
[cheering]
That wasn't clever
in the slightest.
Do you know what
vis-a-vis means?
Yeah, vis-a-vis like a coconut.
What are you talking about?
Everybody knows what vis-a-vis
means. Am I crazy?!
(male narrator)
Coming up..
What possessed you to dive
face-first into
a stranger's food?
(male narrator)
Q is forced to dine and dash.
And later, find out
what brings Murr
to tears in a
lost segment from season one.
There's some moments of the
show where you're just like..
[shudders]
Like, "what's gonna happen?"
What possessed you to dive
face-first into
a stranger's food?
Take it easy, buddy.
(Murr)
'He's got a napkin.'
'He's putting the napkin..'
(Joe)
'What the hell?'
[laughing]
(Sal)
'He went face-first.'
He's going for seconds.
'Oh, my god.'
[laughter]
I like the juxtaposition
of etiquette
with the handkerchief
versus seeing a pure savage.
I mean, I'm not an animal.
That's right.
Sal, let me ask you something,
what would you do
if a gentleman asked you
to see your tits?
[sighs]
Well, let me ask you this.
Uh, would I be getting $ . ?
Well, yeah, that's..
[laughter]
A dozen. Sure.
Tell this guy you'll give him
his whole order for free
if he shows you his tits.
(Murr)
'Oh, my god.'
Your total is $ . .
Uh, I will give you this
whole thing free..
...if you show me your tits.
[laughter]
The whole thing for free.
$ . .
Some of it is really,
really cringe-worthy.
Yeah, exactly.
But that buffet business
got reals, yo.
♪ Boop-bop-bee-dop-bow ♪♪
That's true.
We're gonna follow patrons
to the buffet
and help ourselves to
some food from their plates.
[scatting]
- 'This is getting interesting.'
- 'He's gonna follow him.'
[scatting]
[laughter]
He hit the spoon!
[scatting]
Come on, come on, come on.
[scatting]
Whoa, no!
[laughter]
What would you have done,
seriously
if the guy punched
you in the face?
Like, "guys, help!
Guys! Guys! Help me!"
[scats]
Ouch!
Hey, Murr, remember when you
tried to kiss that guy?
[laughter]
So we've come up with the
perfect challenge for Murr.
He's got to go up and try
to make out with strangers.
Here you go. Here you go.
Get some, Murr.
The guy, oh, the guy.
Oh, my god.
I'm trying to get up to the
metropolitan museum of art
and I just don't know
where that is.
Look, here it is.
Here it is. Here it is.
Perfect. Thank you so much, man.
What? What?
Get out of here.
alright, go ahead.
You'll hurt me,
so I'm going to go.
You stuck your face
in his face.
I have to.
I went in for the kiss.
I went in like a man.
He did look like he was debating
whether he should just pound me
or let it go.
You know, we don't get
to see it so close
but when I watched
it on broadcast television
I was very much like, "aah!"
(male narrator)
coming up...
Sal can't get over the hump.
This is not what
you think it is.
I had no other way
to explain it.
(male narrator)
And later, Joe gets
in touch with his inner child
in a never-before-seen
segment from season one.
You know, when we show up
to do the show
we know that we're
gonna surprise each other.
My favorite bits
when the people
the public throw a
curveball on us that
we didn't see coming,
that elevates us all the way.
Totally takes it
to the next level.
Folks, you'd like a free
tarot card reading?
I see someone
in the afterlife.
Okay, I see someone
in the afterlife.
It's Frank.
He says, "what's up?"
It's Frank.
He says, "what's up?"
Do you know Frank?
He says, "what's up?"
- Frank is in the hospital?
- Yeah.
Tell her she should be
getting a phone call any minute.
No, I don't..
(Sal)
'Do it! Say it!'
I don't know if
I can read these cards.
(Joe)
'Say it or you lose!'
You should be getting
a phone call any minute.
The best-laid plans that we
have get thrown out the window.
There's an added level
to the whole thing
when the general
public gets involved
'cause you don't know how far
along they'll play.
- Anything could happen.
- Yeah.
Got a couple seconds
to give me a signature
just for a quick cause.
It's to allow whites
in the m*llitary.
Whites in the m*llitary, yeah.
In the m*llitary.
In all legs of the m*llitary
air force, marines,
coast guard.
I got the pen right here.
Well, I want to just
get more white dicks.
[laughter]
My favorite thing about all
the curveballs that we've ever
gotten was Murray finally got
the female anatomy.
He became a man that day.
Murray, you're gonna
take out the douche.
'Look in there, brother.
There's a big old douche.'
'And talk to the gentleman
in the fedora.'
Excuse me, sir.
I'm, uh..
(Sal)
'My friends say I'm a douche.'
My, my friends..
My friends call me a douche.
And I'm not really sure
what it is.
I'm not sure what it is,
so I was gonna buy it here.
- I thought that--
- You don't want to buy that.
This is not--
Well, that's what it is, but
you know what a douche is?
No, I don't. No. They said, they
call me a douche all the time.
But do you know
what a douche is?
- I don't know.
- Come here. I'll tell you.
Come over here.
Away from the ladies.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
A douche is what women use
to clean their [bleep]
No! Come on.
They.. It's a bath that they
use to clean their [bleep]
so they don't smell.
So if they call you a douche..
So, when they call me
a douche, they're calling me a..
They're calling me
a clean [bleep]?
No, they're calling
you a dirty [bleep]
because you're not gonna use it
if you have a clean [bleep].
Why would they friends
call me that?
I don't know.
It could be just
a term of endearment.
What happens
if you don't douche?
What happens
if you don't douche?
Hell if I know.
I like a dirty [bleep]
- Wait a second, though.
- He'll let you know.
I know, but you're giving me
inside street knowledge.
He was at the ready to talk
about douches at every
point of his life.
He was at the ready, and then
he confessed his own personal
preference, which I won't say.
But I can't believe somebody
said that to a stranger!
I'll say it.
He likes dirty [bleep]
You know, a lot of the stuff
we have to do to each other
is in the moment.
There's someone in front of you,
you got the thing
I'm telling you what to do.
But every once in a while
we get to plan things out,
do a little artwork.
If we have something that
we're gonna hit you with
we just stare
at you all week, we're like
"Sunday's your big
day, but you don't know it yet."
I have no idea.
Um, the book is a little
of a self journey
if you will,
so, we're talking about like
um, really getting
to know Joe over the years.
'Um, the number of girls
I bang every day.'
Sunday is my big day.
[laughter]
That graph is wrong.
I'm slow all week.
Yours has become an iconic
symbol of our show.
The two unicorns humping.
It is magical.
I used to be..
...much less confident
than I am right now.
I wasn't always that confident.
I used to be drowning in debt.
Okay.
'Oh...wow.'
Have you ever seen the image of
is it an old woman
or a princess?
Is it two people kissing
or is it a candlestick?
Is it two unicorns doing
something near a rainbow?
This is not what
you think it is.
[laughter]
I had no other way to explain it
but, "it's not what
you think it is."
"Trust me. Trust me, people.
It's not what you think."
When, in fact, it is exactly
what you think it is.
(male narrator)
coming up..
You won't have to hold your
breath much longer to see this
exclusive bonus scene
from season one.
The moment we have all
been waiting for
never-before-seen footage
that we have been dying
for you to watch.
Here's the challenge,
we have to go up to strangers
and ask if we can
use their bathroom
but we have to say the
word "peeps" or "poops."
Think you could let me do
peeps in here?
I got to take a poops.
You know,
I got to make a peeps.
Guess who's got to do poops?
- Oh, you got to--
- Make a.. Yeah.
- You sure you're alright?
- Yeah.
What did you just ask me?
I'm just a guy standing in
front of another guy
trying to see where
I can make a peeps.
You know where I can go poops?
I got to take a poops!
We're here at kidding around
toy store where today
we're gonna throw
temper tantrums
and try to get people
to buy stuff for us.
If you don't get somebody
to buy you a toy, you lose.
Can you buy me this?
[crying]
[sobbing]
Please!
she's talking
to him like a kid.
But...the point being...if
you..
...could get stuff...from
people.
I guess so.
[all groan]
(Joe)
'Get the dude with the tie
and the glasses.'
There's a lot of cool stuff
here for kids.
- Yeah.
- Like this pencil case.
- Yeah, it's a nice pencil case.
- You want to buy it for me?
He's gonna buy that for me, too.
He said he would.
Come on, man.
[inhales deeply]
Yeah! Yeah!
I want it!
♪ Buy me a pencil case ♪
♪ I want a pencil case ♪
♪ I've been
the best boy ever ♪♪
No?
[screaming]
Sorry, did you want to get
that for me and buy it for me?
That's perfect.
So excited. Getting..
Oh, you're not?
But I really want it.
I so want it. I so want it.
Please! I so want it!
I so want it
I want it, I want it, I want it
I want it, I want it, I want it,
I want it, I want it, I want it
I want it, I want it, I want it
I want it, I want it, I want it.
I can taste it!
It's so good!
Remember when you said you were
gonna get it for me?
- 'Oh, there you go.'
- 'There you go, Murray.'
(Sal)
'Striped shirt.'
Come here. Come here.
This is awesome, isn't it?
This is only $ . .
It's really cute.
I would love
it if I could have it.
Will you buy that for me?
No. no, no, please!
[whimpers]
You buy this toy for me!
Or I'm gonna get angry!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la..
I'm gonna have nightmares
tonight.
Why are you being
mean to me?
I want it! I want it! I want it!
I want the toy!
[crying]
Oh!
- He's taking his socks off!
- He's nuts.
[duck quacking]
- Could I have it?
- What would you do with it?
I'd play with it.
It's really cute.
- Please! Please.
- Can you buy it for me?
- No way!
- Oh, come on!
You're buying it!
Come here!
I love you so much!
Thank you so much! Yes!
[bell dings]
[buzzer]
[duck quacking]
Watching that made me realize
how good we're doing
so far in season two.
There's a lot of good things
coming your way in season two.
Oh, we're doing some crazy
new stuff.
In season two, we've got
vengeance on our minds.
- That's it.
- A season-long grudge match.
I apologize in advance for
everything I'm about to do to
you in season two.
I'm sorry, my friend.
You can go [bleep] yourself.
Thank you guys for joining us.
We hope you liked it.
And we will see you back here
for a brand-new season
of "Impractical Jokers."
And remember, guys,
special effects.
[fingers snap]
[fingers snap]
There's no more special effects.
- I know.
- Hmm.
02x04 - The Stoop Sessions Part 2
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.