Narrator: Coming up,
what's got Sal on the scent?
There's a skunk in here?
[ Laughter ]
Why is Joe
keeping his eyes wide open?
[ Laughter ]
And which losing Jokers
will do a bang-up job
in tonight's
double punishment?
[ Laughter ]
Sal:
Prepare for something amazing.
Q: Hey, mustache, what's up?
[ Laughter ]
Murr:
I want my mommy!
[ Laughter ]
Sal:
I will never forgive you!
Joe: Larry!
[ Laughter ]
Sal:
Today we're at Lot Less
approaching shoppers
and telling them
they look like a character
from a TV show or movie
that doesn't exist.
The goal is to get
the person on videotape
saying the character's
fake "catchphrase."
If you can't get them
to record the catchphrase,
you lose.
Q: You're done.
Q:
All right, here we go.
Coconut oil?
Oh, yeah, I think we might
be sold out of that, dear.
Thank you.
Oh, no problem.
Oh, my God,
this woman's all over you.
I mean, I'll help you.
This aisle has a lot of
good chocolates in it
if you're looking.
[ Laughter ]
Sal, "You know, you look like
you're on a TV show."
Are you, uh, an actress.
I think you are.
"Aren't you on the show
'Drug Mule or Pregnant'?"
There's a show on TV.
I'm gonna tell you.
it's a show called
"Drug Mule or Pregnant."
Oh, my God.
The guys go on a date
with two girls,
and they have to decide
which one's pregnant,
and which one's
the drug mule.
[ Laughter ]
There's a catchphrase
in the show all the time.
"There's a skunk in here!"
Every episode at the end,
she goes,
"There's a skunk in here!"
Murr: [ Laughs ]
You know what,
no, no, no.
[ Laughter ]
My brother -- If he saw you
doing the catchphrase,
he would think
it's the funniest thing.
if I sent him -- if you went,
"There's a skunk in here!"
That would be so funny.
Yes, no problem.
Don't take my picture.
Okay, oh, don't? Don't?
Ohh.
It's all right.
Wait, oh!
There's a skunk in here!
Oh, you're the best.
[ All cheering ]
Oh, wow!
Thank you.
You're the sweetest.
Thank you.
-Wow, Sal.
-Unbelievable.
Hi, you guys need help
with anything?
I love the show.
Woman: What show?
"Surfstitute Teacher."
Q:
"Surfstitute Teacher."
[ Laughs ]
It's about a cool,
Hawaiian shirt-wearing
substitute teacher
who surfs in
on summer vacation.
He comes in,
he's got a catchphrase.
He says...
"Surf's up, asshats."
[ Chuckles ]
He goes,
"Surf's up, asshats!"
Would you do me a favor?
Woman: Mm-hmm.
Could you do a video with me
where you're like,
"Surf's up, asshats"?
Please.
Watch, watch, watch.
Hey, honey,
guess who I found.
Could you just say it
real quick for me?
"Surf's up, asshats."
-Ahh!
-Ahh!
Surf's up, asshat.
You lose, asshat.
[ Laughter ]
I just work here.
They wouldn't let me manage.
[ Laughter ]
Everyone could hear you.
It's not very professional,
in my opinion.
So it's
the "surf's up" part?
It's the "asshat."
[ Laughter ]
"Asshat's" a bad one, huh?
Woman: Ask this lady
if she thinks that's a bad one.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Remember that show
"Surf's Up"
where the guy says "asshat"
all the time?
[ Laughs ]
I said it too loud.
Do you think
that's professional?
No.
So "surf's up" is fine.
"Surf's up" is fine.
"Surf's up" is fine.
The "asshat" I didn't...
Sal: [ Laughing ]
This is hysterical.
They're having
a dead-serious conversation!
Q: Right.
There's
a difference between
what you say
in the break room
and what you say
out on the...
Right, right.
They're ganging up on Q.
I got his back.
Yeah?
I got his back. Yeah.
I shouldn't say that?
I shouldn't say...?
Woman: In a loud voice.
You can say it in the street,
you know.
Right.
And the yelling.
Joe: Surf's up, asshat!
-Is that your boss?
-That's my manager.
That's...
Now I see where you get it.
Right, right.
Forget what I said.
Right, right, right.
[ Laughter ]
"Forget what I said."
"Forget what I said."
Surf's up, asshat.
[ Both laughing ]
We have converted them!
We'll give you the thumbs up.
[ Laughs ]
The Ferrero Rocher
is a mess.
I am getting this aisle
back together.
I do a lot of work on this show.
Let me tell you.
I work a lot.
He's patting himself
on the back
for putting chocolate
straight.
[ Laughter ]
I can't take it.
You guys good?
Do you need help
with anything?
Oh, my God, you look --
You look just like
that actress on TV.
You have a twin.
It's -- The show is, uh...
"Dumb-Dumbs Atlanta."
The show is "Dumb" --
"Dumb-Dumbs Atlanta."
It's one of those
spin-off shows.
You look like...
"The lady that ate
a urinal cake."
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughing ]
You look...
There was this character --
this woman.
She was outrageously funny.
She's the one that
ate the urinal cake
on the show.
[ Laughter ]
I swear she's your twin.
She has a famous catchphrase
in it.
"My kids will never forgive me
for the things I done."
[ Laughter ]
She -- Her catchphrase --
Her catchphrase is,
"My kids will never forgive me
for the things I done."
[ Laughter ]
My wife is a huge fan
of this woman.
Can I record a video
of you real quick
once -- just saying
the one catchphrase?
She's gonna die laughing tonight
when I show it to her.
Okay.
Oh, you're the best.
Okay, ready? Ready?
I'm recording, and go.
My kids will never forgive me
for the things I've done.
You are the best!
[ All cheering ]
He got it!
"Dumb-Dumbs Atlanta"!
[ Laughter ]
These are all...
Murr:
Don't mess up my work!
Are you kidding me?!
[ Laughter ]
Don't mess up
the Ferrero Rocher!
[ Laughter ]
This is --
No, this is a different flavor,
so it's more.
This is...
$..
Are you an actor?
Are you an actor?
[ Laughter ]
What?
An actor. Are you on TV?
You look like a guy
on this show I watched.
Oh?
"Fatty Goes to the Mall."
The show is called
"Fatty Goes to the Mall."
He's got this catchphrase --
the character
he plays in it.
"Get your white ass
out this bitch!"
He -- He goes, uh...
[ Laughter ]
♪
He's got this catchphrase --
This is the character
he plays in it.
"Get your white ass
out this bitch!"
He -- He goes, uh,
to everybody
that walks in the door,
he goes, "Get your white ass
out this bitch!"
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
But you look just like him.
It's a funny show.
You should check it out.
Okay.
Any chance I get to video you
saying that?
"Get your white ass
out this bitch."
Oh, no.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Go ahead. Your turn.
Get your white ass
out this bitch.
No, that's okay.
That's okay.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, no.
Okay, thank you.
Right there.
You were right there.
Hey, are you an actress?
You look like --
Do you get this a lot?
No.
You ever see that...?
Oh, that movie --
"Twelve Honkies."
"Twelve" --
It's "Twelve Honkies."
[ Laughter ]
No, you've never seen it?
No?
No, it's -- Bruce Willis
is in blackface and goes --
comes back in time
to Philadelphia,
and he gets sh*t.
Credits roll.
That's it.
[ Laughter ]
No, you look just like
the -- the woman in it.
It's got the catchphrase.
"Night, night, ding-dong."
Uh, catchphrase at the end,
she goes, "Night, night,
ding-dong," and...
[ Laughter ]
You know what,
I got an idea.
Can I get a quick video
of you just saying,
"Night, night, ding-dong"
for my wife?
She'd get a kick out of it.
No?
I'm sure she would,
but no, thanks.
No? No, thanks? Okay.
[ Laughter ]
Night, night, ding-dong!
[ Laughter ]
Narrator:
It's night, night for Joe.
He's first up
on the loser board.
Today we're meeting
one-on-one with strangers
to conduct
psychological experiments.
But we're gonna be the ones
that seem crazy
because we're gonna be doing
what the other guys tell us to.
If at any point,
you refuse to do anything
that you're told,
you lose.
Murr: You guys ready?
Let's go.
It certainly
looks more magical
when --
when you don't show it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Joe: Here we go.
Hey, how are you?
How you doing? Sal.
Claude.
Claude.
Pleasure to see you.
What we do here is
we run surveys,
and we use that
as a baseline
for when we do
actual testing.
"I like to start my sessions
with an icebreaker."
We'll start with an icebreaker.
That's what I like to do.
"We're gonna sit across
from each other silently."
So we'll sit across
from each other silently.
"And we're gonna visualize
each other being tortured."
And we're going to, uh...
...visualize each other
being tortured.
Uh, so we'll begin.
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
[ Laughter ]
Murr:
Oh, my God, this is weird.
Q: [ Chuckles ]
Joe: [ Laughs ]
So weird.
Let's talk about
loved ones.
[ Laughter ]
I'm gonna walk you through
a couple of scenarios.
"How many fingers do you wish
I was holding up?"
How many fingers do you wish
I was holding up?
Two.
Two.
[ Laughter ]
"Hopeless. Hopeless."
Hopeless.
Hopeless.
[ Laughter ]
Slurp your tea.
[ Slurping ]
Murr:
"I will tell you..."
I will tell you...
"...it is my
professional opinion..."
...it is my --
hmm, let's see.
[ Laughs ]
He knows something's coming.
[ Laughter ]
Yep.
I will tell you it is
my professional opinion.
"...you have
West Nile Virus."
[ Laughter ]
...after what I've gathered,
it is
my professional opinion
that you do have
West Nile Virus.
[ Laughter ]
[ Slurping ]
Q: [ Laughs ]
How are you today?
Doing pretty good.
How are you?
I'm great. Thank you.
Have you ever gone to
a psychoanalyst before?
No.
Do you know
what we do?
Blair is...
On our team.
...Is someone that we got
to come in
and just flirt with Murray
on purpose.
Okay, this gonna be exciting.
It's fun.
"Would you describe yourself
as a good girl?"
Would you describe yourself
as a -- a good --
a good person?
Yes.
You would?
So a good girl?
Absolutely.
"Oh, that's funny
'cause I like good girls."
It's funny 'cause I --
I like good girls.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
Describe your personality to me
in your own words.
How --
How do you see yourself.
I'm a lot of fun.
[ Chuckling ] Okay.
[ Laughs ]
Pretty.
Pretty!
[ Laughs ]
"Are you describing me?"
Sounds like you're des--
Sounds like
you're describing me.
[ Laughter ]
Maybe -- Maybe I am.
No, only --
I'm only these things because
I'm sitting next to you,
if we remember, so...
Don't give me
all the credit.
Are we just watching
Murray fall in love?
Is that what we're doing?
[ Laughter ]
He is hook, line, and sinker
right now.
So, pretty. Okay.
"Now, put these two colors
together."
Now, put these two colors
together.
Q: "Black and white."
[ Laughter ]
Black and white.
Black and white.
Ooh!
"By the way. By the way."
Oh, by the way...
"This is all confidential."
This is all confidential,
as I mentioned, okay?
"But I can't promise
I'm not gonna tell bae."
But I can't promise
I won't tell bae
about today.
I'm kidding.
[ Laughs ]
I'm bae-less.
Okay, as am I.
As are you.
So, yeah.
So we are sans bae.
We are sans bae.
Stop trying.
Please stop.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna throw up.
I'm getting uncomfortable.
I'm getting uncomfortable.
"Have you ever taken
a Horshart test?"
Joe: Horshart?
Horshart?
Horshart test!
Have you ever --
Have you ever ever --
Have you ever taken
a Horshart test?
Horshart?
Horshart.
Say it slowly. "Hor."
Hor.
"Shart."
Shart.
You ever take one?
[ Laughing ] No.
[ Laughs ]
Have you --
Have you ever seen "Hamilton"?
I haven't seen it.
We should go sometime.
That would be really great.
All right!
What the hell
are you doing?
What the hell
are you doing?
All right, what's your
favorite restaurant in the city?
Dos Caminos.
Dos Caminos! Okay!
I've been there many times.
I've had
many margaritas there.
We should also go there
for dinner.
We could make a whole day
out of it.
We could go to dinner
and then go see "Hamilton"
and that would be
a lot of fun.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
There is a serious connection
right now.
Like, no joke.
There really is.
Q: Okay, Blair. Great job.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you.
Was that not real?
That wasn't real?!
That wasn't real?!
She's our actress.
That wasn't real?!
Sal: You're done,
and I've never been
more uncomfortable on this show
than watching you trying
to flirt with her.
[ Laughter ]
Hi. How are you?
Hi.
What's your name?
Gabrielle.
Gabrielle, pleased to meet you.
Have a seat.
Have you ever done
a Rorschach?
I know what it is,
but I've never done it.
Okay, great.
Joe, reach into the M&M's
and pull out the glasses
I put in there.
[ Laughs ]
Oh, sorry.
[ Laughter ]
I don't know
how they ended up in there.
[ Laughing ] That's a great
place for them.
Cross your eyes.
All right, here we go.
[ Laughter ]
Sal: What are you doing
with your eyes?
You're just looking.
I see a face.
Joe: You see a face?
Or what is it?
And the face
kind of looks...
-[ Laughs ]
-You look so funny.
Cross them. You know
how to cross your eyes?
I don't really know how to,
so...
[ Laughter ]
Human or animal?
What is that
graffiti artist?
Oh, the Old Bay one.
Yeah.
Sal: You look like you're coming
in and out of consciousness.
Got it.
The boogey mask.
Yeah, it looks lifelike.
[ Laughter ]
Joe, the next time
you flip it, go,
"What about
these [bleep] dots?"
Real quick,
what about these [bleep] dots?
This one here.
These [bleep] dots.
[ Laughs ]
Put these back.
[ Laughter ]
And where are you from?
New Orleans.
"I bought this jacket
in New Orleans."
Actually, I think I bought
this jacket in New Orleans.
Oh, well, there, you see,
good taste.
Yeah, that's...
"Oh, shut up."
It's a good look.
Shut up.
[ Laughter ]
I got this watch there,
too.
I do like the watch,
actually.
"Oh, shut up."
Oh, sh-- shut up.
[ Laughter ]
Joe, ask her something,
and then go, "no, shut up."
[ Laughter ]
Let's talk about
what you would consider
your daydream spot to be,
like, a happy place.
I actually
got a good one.
Shut up.
[ Laughter ]
Now,
tell me about your father.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, hi.
"Welcome to my game
of cat-and-mouse."
Welcome to my game
of cat-and-mouse.
Okay.
[ Laughter ]
How long
have you lived here?
It's going to be
two months.
Go "gangster"
and play air guitar.
Gangster, you know?
[ Imitates guitar riff ]
[ Laughter ]
"I'm gonna throw a thetical
right at you."
I'm gonna throw a thetical
at you.
"But it's not gonna be
from me."
But it's not gonna be
from me.
"It's gonna be
from my buddy..."
It's gonna be
from my buddy...
"...Mini Q."
...Mini Q.
Yeah, go into that green box
to your right.
Take him out.
[ Laughter ]
Murr: What?!
This is a thetical
from Mini Q.
[ Laughs ]
Hey.
Okay. All right.
If you were
walking in a park,
and you heard
a bird chirp,
do you look up?
There's more.
There's more.
Well, hold on.
Do you look up?
Do you look down?
Do you look left?
Or do you look right?
I look where the sound
is coming from.
Okay, okay, um,
let's not go off-script.
"That's right."
Shake her hand.
That's right.
Good job.
[ Laughter ]
That was
completely useless.
[ Knock on door ]
Good afternoon, there,
Brian.
[ Laughter ]
Good afternoon, there,
Brian.
♪
Good job.
[ Laughter ]
That was
completely useless.
[ Knock on door ]
Good afternoon, there,
Brian.
Sal: [ Laughs ]
These are
two of our buddies.
Listen,
you can't keep doing this.
We told you.
What happened?
Can you tell me?
This is --
It's still
under investigation.
What do you mean?
Just --
It can't keep happening.
Why is it
under investigation?
I should know that.
Oh, no, no.
You're in -- You're not in
any danger or anything.
It's just, you know...
Who was that?
I rocked too hard once.
Do they keep
coming in like this?
They're investigating
my rock-itude --
my general rock-itude.
Just do air-guitar motion,
but don't make any noise.
[ Laughter ]
Murr: Keep playing.
Keep playing.
[ Laughter ]
Take out
the Rorschach tests.
Ever done
a Rorschach test?
Uh, no.
Okay.
What do you see?
A woman.
"Wait a second.
This is the wrong test.
This is the test
we give to smart people."
Yeah.
Wait, wait, you know what.
This is the --
This is the wrong set.
This is the one --
This is the one I
give stupid people,
and that's not you.
[ Laughter ]
Got him.
That's not you.
[ Laughter ]
Narrator:
Q rocked his way to a loss,
which means it's time for
a double punishment.
All right, Joe and Q lost,
so today we are at
the Prudential Center
for the Seton Hall Pirates
basketball game.
Guys, for your punishment,
you've got to join
the Marching Cobras of New York
for their halftime show.
We have to perform?
How many people are here?
Like, ?
About ,.
Oh, yeah.
It's about , people.
Q: Oh, well, that's not making
me feel any better now.
♪
Sal: [ Laughs ]
We're moments away.
You guys ready?
Murr: , , .
[ Buzzer blares ]
Halftime.
Here we go!
Oh, they're already
nervous.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
onto the floor
the Marching Cobra Drumline.
Now, the Marching Cobras
of New York --
They are the real deal.
Polished, professional.
And then there's these two.
[ Laughs ]
It's important to note
that only the band leader
knows that Joe and Q
are infiltrating the band.
Also,
we threw hats on them.
They look ridiculous.
[ Laughs ]
Ohh.
My balls. My balls.
Sal:
Good, it's a punishment.
Away with your balls.
[ Drumline plays ]
All: Get some!
[ Drum rhythm plays ]
[ Laughter ]
Look at this guy.
He's like, "Who the [bleep]
are these guys?"
Murr: Q looks like the march
of the wooden soldiers.
Get in between them.
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughs ]
[ Both laughing ]
I got to give credit to
the marching band.
Yeah.
They're staying the course.
They're not even, like --
No, they're in it.
Get into it.
Joe: Whoo!
Q: Whoo!
Murr:
I can't hear you, Joe.
Joe: I said nice!
Whoo!
Sal: [ Laughs ]
Whoo!
I like how they're just like,
"The show must go on."
Joe: Whoo!
[ Laughs ] Q!
[ Both laughing ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Drum battle!
Drum battle!
[ Laughs ]
Joe: Drum battle!
[ Both drumming off-rhythm ]
[ Both laughing ]
Murr:
That's the lamest thing.
Sal: [ Laughs ]
They look ridiculous.
Hey, guys, also,
you're gonna be dancing next.
What?
[ Both laugh ]
What?
Joe: Drum battle!
[ Both drumming off-rhythm ]
Sal:
That's the lamest thing!
Look at this.
Hey, guys,
you're gonna be dancing next.
[ Both laugh ]
What?
Joe: I got nothing left.
[ Drum rhythm plays ]
Why are we dancing?
Sal: [ Laughs ]
Joe: [Bleep] [Bleep]
Sal: [ Laughs ]
Bring in the sequins.
Oh, come on.
♪
Murr: Come on, guys.
Get into position.
Q:
I still got drumsticks.
♪
Let's see you keep up
with the dancers.
Sal:
Do exactly what they do.
Q: Whoo! What?
Joe: Okay, do it!
[ Up-tempo music plays ]
Sal: Oh, my God.
[ Both laughing ]
Back dat ass up, Q.
[ Both laugh ]
Guys, copy everything
they're doing.
Look at Joe.
Joe, we can't even
see your eyeballs.
Your hat is so low.
It's just a nose.
[ Laughs ]
[ Both laugh ]
Q, Q,
right now back on drums.
[ Drumming ]
[ Laughs ]
Look at Joe!
Look at Joe!
Yes!
[ Both laugh ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Run! Run!
♪
Run!
[ Both laughing ]
Welcome to
"Impractical Insider."
Q and Joe
just got punished right here,
and now you get to see
a behind-the-scenes look
of how it happened.
And I'll give you bonus footage
from tonight's episode.
Geoff:
It's a more complicated
punishment than usual
because two Jokers are actually
gonna be out there.
Ooh.
So it's --
We need facial expressions
from both, right?
Yes, it's gonna be --
It's twice the coverage
in that way.
It's gonna be that much
more fun, though, as well.
[ Both laugh ]
I'll tell you about
today's punishment.
This is revenge.
Ah.
So the last time,
if you remember,
it was Sal and I
were the ones that got punished.
That's right.
That's right.
Do you remember what?
The helicopter.
Ohh!
Oh, Murray goes down!
Aah! Aah!
Joe: Sal!
That's from the helicopter?
That's from the helicopter --
when I fell on the runway.
Oh, when you fell
when you were running.
When they had me
in the fat suit.
Scar still to this day.
That was two years ago
at this point.
It still bleeds, the scar.
[ Drumming ]
You are in on this,
right,
but the marching band
does not know what's happening.
That's right.
Absolutely.
What's that like
keeping a secret?
It's funny
'cause I know their reactions.
I'm actually --
I can't wait for the moment.
[ Both laugh ]
Sal: All right, here we go.
Three, two, one.
[ Laughs ]
All right, tonight,
Q and Joe lost.
You have got to join
the Marching Cobras of New York
while they do
their halftime show.
I hope these Cobras
don't bite.
Ah!
What if they bite?
[ Both laugh ]
You know it's not gonna go
as well as you think it is.
No, it's not.
It's definitely not.
There's definitely
gonna be --
The problem is
there's a lot of people here,
and I'm also not
in peak physical condition.
Right.
What part
is the scariest to you --
the band part
or the marching?
This interview.
You better just hold
your [bleep] out there.
That's all I'm saying.
We have a reputation
to uphold.
What? What reputation
are you talking about?
Wait, wait, which one of
you guys is Nick Cannon?
I'm no Nick Cannon.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome onto the floor
the Marching Cobra Drumline.
Murr: Here we go!
[ Drum rhythms play ]
All: Get some!
It's going now.
[ Both drumming off-rhythm ]
Sal: [ Laughs ]
Joe: Drum battle!
What?!
[ Both laugh ]
He can't break it!
Sal: Break the drumstick!
Q: Hey! Oh!
Murr: Oh-ho!
Oh, my God!
[ Laughs ]
Announcer: The Marching Cobras,
plus two.
[ Laughs ]
Any you guys ever heard of
"Impractical Jokers"?
Those are two guys
from the "Impractical Jokers."
[ All shouting ]
Yeah. Yeah.
We were so confused.
Your director, Terrel --
He put you guys up to this.
-Are you serious?
-That's crazy.
Man: That's crazy, man.
[ All shouting ]
Give it up for him.
[ Cheers and applause ]
The catchphrase is,
"Hey, I used to have hair."
"You put down
those lady parts."
"Guac me in la cabeza."
"I think I broke my book!"
[ Southern accent ]
"Life is like a box of tampons."
[ Blows raspberry ]
[ Normal voice]
In the movie show, he says,
"Guten tag.
Champagne, por favor."
He always says,
"That's a lot of pork!"
"Pull me to the toilet,
Alphonse.
I'm about to blow."
You know?
"Oh, yeah,
I know a bag of nickels
when I see one."
"Hubba, hubba, chubby bubba."
"Eduardo don't believe
in no evolution."
Joe:
Surf's up, asshat!
♪
06x09 - Drum and Drummer
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This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.
This hidden-camera series follows three lifelong friends -- Brian "Q" Quinn, James "Murr" Murray and Sal Vulcano -- who take dares to an outrageous level.