How many?
Six or seven, maybe eight.
Can't you count?
They're not exactly all together, sir.
Well, where are they?
They're here, it's just,
well, not everything is attached, sir.
We're short a few parts.
Parts?
This way, sir.
- Think I got
a shoe over here in the bush.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Put a lid on this as of now.
Yes, sir.
We'll cordon off the area, sir.
Let me talk to the survivors.
There's only one left.
Only one?
My God, it's happening all over again!
He claims to be the writer,
and he's still somewhat in shock.
MT. Lyman?
This is Chief Deyner.
What's going on here?
I don't know.
We were just making a movie.
A movie?
There are seven-
Or eight.
Or eight corpses layin' out there.
What the hell kind of movie was it?
I don't know, I usedta know, but.
Did anyone know they were here?
I want every available man here, now!
Josh, I'm sorry,
I- I couldn't see through the makeup.
I thought it was Oliver.
Yeah, well, Oliver's over here,
where he's supposed to be.
Who the hell is that?
Uh,
Steven Blake, I was
told to come to the set.
To the set, not on it.
Blake's the real cop I told you about.
He investigated the real murders here.
Ah, OK.
Uh, Mr. Blake, I believe you're gonna be
one of our technical advisors,
and technical advisors
belong behind the camera.
Freddie, let's go!
Quiet, let's do it again!
Oliver, your agent's on the phone.
Oh, Josh, Freddie.
Take 10, everybody, 10.
Josh, uh, I've got another scene.
No, Arthur, no.
Look, it has pace.
It's not the movie I'm making.
OK, but I like this movie.
Peter?
Oh, Harry.
Your interview with that movie magazine.
Mm, terrific.
They're on hold.
- Listen, have you found
me any local bimbos yet?
Not yet.
Well, stay on it, who is this?
Her name is Sally Evans.
Hello, Sally, Harry Sleerik.
Harry Sleerik, I'm the producer.
No, this film is nothing
like Babysitter Basher.
Yeah, it was a good little movie.
Uh-huh, oh, absolutely,
this film will be done
in good taste.
That's cold!
- Don't touch it, don't
touch it, just let it dry.
Josh, we're ready.
Tell me those aren't great.
- Robbie, there will be
no exploding tit sh*t!
Look, Harry specifically-
Oh, I can imagine what Harry said.
Are those yours.
No, he made 'em for me.
Too bad.
- OK, look, at least let
me tear the nipple off.
Jesus, think of the audience.
Do you think my mother could watch that?
I don't know, what's she like?
I want subtle.
This,
this is not subtle!
Don't do that!
Don't worry, you'll get used to it.
How long's it take?
Oh, 'bout as long as it takes
to digest the caterer's donuts.
Watch it, hey here, hold this, huh?
- Yes, terrible
murders and mutilations.
When'd you find this guy?
- About five minutes ago,
look, Josh, I may be wrong-
I like that, where is he?
Freddie said you canceled the motel rooms.
- Uh, excuse me a minute,
production emergency.
Too expensive, everyone stays right here.
There's plenty of room.
- So we're gonna be
working and living here.
That's just like camp!
- You're gonna turn this
into an asylum, Harry.
Josh, it's nostalgia, didn't you ever
wanna go back to high school,
see what it'd be like?
No, no, not really.
Hey, Josh, I got the lead in the series!
Hey, that's great, what is it?
- Oh, it's an action
adventure with some humor.
Kind of a ripoff of Miami
Vice and Moonlighting.
Great, when does it start?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow, hey, Oliver, you got,
you got four more weeks here!
Josh, this is a series.
Hey, Oliver, this is a movie!
Yeah, a low budget movie.
Now, you can't do this to me!
We got a contract.
We can sue.
No, ya can't, that takes money.
Josh.
No, Arthur, no.
- The high school's been
closed down ever since.
Now, listen, Sally, I
think you should know
just one more fact for the article.
The m*rder*r was never
caught nor even identified.
Sally, I really gotta go, I'll
look forward to reading it.
And, by the way, it was really
nice talking to you, Sally.
Sure, you, too, have a nice day.
Peter, Peter!
Peter!
Yeah, Harry?
Don't you hear me, what, do I stutter?
Listen, I wanna guarantee
a good interview.
Prime the pump a little.
Have Sally Evans a little thank you, OK.
Yeah, check her out.
If she's a looker, send
the douchebag some flowers.
If she's fat, just dump some candy on her.
- OK.
- Yeah.
Peter!
Yeah, Harry?
Corned beef on rye, lean!
Got it.
Peter!
Not from the truck!
Not from the truck.
Keep in touch, Harold.
I hope they cancel your series, Oliver.
Scumface!
Actors.
Be cool, Callie.
Gonna be a star, Oliver?
Gonna try.
Yeah, right.
- Arthur, I want
you to write a great,
sexy scene for Janine here.
You're gonna have a big
career ahead of you, honey.
You got great tits, they're
fake, but who has to know.
You like me?
- All right, that's it,
hold it right there!
What the hell is that?
Hello?
Is anybody here?
Hey, wait up!
Hey, listen, could you tell me
how to get out of here?
I thought this was the
way to the parking lot.
What's goin' on?
Jesus.
- You see, Oliver's gone
off to better things.
It's a real crusher, but,
we've lost him in this picture.
I mean, you won't catch
me holding him back.
I mean, he's got a career out there, and,
and I'm happy for him.
But he was playing you,
so this is really a
stroke of good fortune,
and I believe in signs.
Yeah, but I've never done this before.
Hey, you'll be more natural that way!
You remember Mr. Kastleman, the principal,
and Amos, the custodian?
Well, they're gonna be
playing themselves, also!
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Pff, it was the director's idea,
part of his documentary
background, loves realism.
Hey, George!
Great having you on the
crew, doin' a helluva job.
Couldn't do it without ya!
Guy's such a moron, so slow.
Brain damage, you know,
but you're gonna be terrific, I feel it!
I can't-
No, you're gonna be great!
Well, if you think I can handle it.
Pff, trust me.
Harry, Harry, Oliver's leaving.
Ah, don't worry about that scumbag.
Couldn't act for sh*t
anyway, I gotcha a new star.
You're not gonna believe it, tailor-made!
Harry, you OK?
Yeah, trust me.
- I mean, who
are we talkin' for this?
Ah, over here.
Steven, this is our
director, Josh Forbes, huh?
Uh, we've met.
Harry, do you got a minute?
He's a cop!
Just what you need!
- I need an actor, Harry!
- This is better, this is reality!
Think of the publicity.
Think of the bad scenes.
Bad scenes, good scenes,
publicity gets 'em into the theater!
But they're gonna hate the movie!
Not if you give 'em more tits and blood.
The film's about people, Harry,
people, not body parts!
- That's right, people like
Steven Blake, he'll be great!
- Josh, Dillon needs you to
check out the lens selection.
Trust me!
Josh?
I just got my contracts, Harry,
and your oily signature was not on it.
Oh, don't worry about that!
Your, your agent and I have been friends
for over 1O years.
What does that say about my agent?
Oh, Steven Blake, I want you to meet
Miss Callie Cassidy, your leading lady.
You two should get acquainted.
Tomorrow, you're gonna have to
ball her brains out in Technicolor.
Ciao.
Ever the poet.
I'm, uh, I'm not really an actor.
- Oh, well, I'm not
really an actress either.
I've got three films to prove it.
That was a joke.
Oh, I'm sorry, I, uh.
Yeah.
So, what was it?
The place just felt weird!
We knew no one ever found the k*ller,
and we did a lot of night sh**ting.
There aren't a lot of
lights in that school.
You just felt there was
something out there
in all that darkness.
Yeah, you're right about that.
Then there was that squeaking sound.
It just kept coming.
Closer
and closer
and closer.
Oh my God!
That sheet is moving!
- Where?
- Over there!
My God, one of them's still alive!
Check for a pulse.
I thought that was a girl's body!
Uh, it is, sir.
But that's a man's arm!
I know, uh, I, some of the bodies
were pretty torn up, sir, uh,
I guess we got some of the parts mixed up.
Heh, the arm just rolled off.
What are we
up against?
Who could've done all this?
What kind of a wh-w*apon did they use?
No, no, it-it's been done before.
I need something else, something new!
OK, but we've got other problems.
Robbie wants to know if you can give him
more time on the severed head.
Wh-what's wrong?
- The eyeballs don't
work, he needs to get 'em
to bulge out a little more, take a look.
Hey-hey-hey, how you doin', Amos?
I'm gon' be a movie star!
Should be fun.
Man said just act natural, be cool!
You always were a cool cat.
Oh, I remembers you, too, Stevie Blake
when you went here, you
was always nice to me.
Not like them others, though.
- So what're you gonna do
with your newfound fame?
I'm gonna do some of them p*ssy films!
p*rn?
Yeah, yes I was!
_ Why?
- Got 1O inches strapped
to the leg right here,
just raring to g0 g
Been moppin' floors too
long, too long, Stevie!
Too long!
Too long, Stevie!
Excuse me?
Mr. Kastleman?
Yes.
I don't mean to disturb you,
but I understand that you
were the principal here
when this whole thing happened.
Yes, yes.
- Well, you see, I'm
trying to get a handle
on my character, you know,
what she was like and, uh,
what was she like?
Oh, she,
she was, she was a good student.
She, until that Farley boy-
- Look, I'm sorry if this
whole thing bothers you,
remembering and all.
- Well, that's all about
all I do now is remembering.
I just remember all the time.
I can imagine.
You can?
I wonder if you really can imagine.
- You, you see that table
over there in the corner, hmm?
Ordinary corner, isn't it?
Till, till I saw
a nose nailed to the
floor right over there.
And a t-t-tongue
lying right there.
Eyeballs, eyeballs
dangling from strings,
staring at me right there, and
that closet, would you like,
would you like to use your imagination and
see if, see if you can
use your imagination.
Just, just open up the door there.
Look right in there, don't be afraid,
just, just use your imagination.
' God!
- Don't touch
it, don't touch anything!
" You jerk!
" Me?
That was rigged for the
skin to rot away on cue
when the doors were opened.
It's over 3O feet of wiring in here
to 15 different circuits and,
four vials of my special homemade pus.
Robbie, that is disgusting!
- I'm not talking about
baking cookies here,
Madam Girl Scout, it takes over an hour
to stir this stuff to
the right consistency.
You should spend as much time on your face
as I spent on this one!
You know, if she's not gonna
appreciate what I'm doing,
she shouldn't be here.
Do you have any idea how long it takes
to get this stuff to work just right?
Not as long as it took that m*rder*r
to chop up that poor student.
I remember them, every one of them.
Sheri!
- Tag team, two out of
three falls, right, Sheri?
Oh, got any underwear on today, Sheri?
Back off, assh*le!
Hey, c'mon, man, chill out, all right'?
I didn't know you two got married.
Thanks, Farley.
' MY hero!
Uh, later, OK?
OK.
Oh, pain, doctor!
Yo, please don't tell me you're goin' out
with the team mascot, come on, Fars?
Hey-hey, p*ssy on wheels pal,
I call, she comes, but,
uh, not for you, cutie.
It's your ticket, man.
If you can handle the traffic.
Now that, over there, is more my speed.
That's what I call Mount Olympus, man,
and as far as I know,
nobody's reached the top yet.
No problem.
You don't stand a chance, Casanova.
- Whoa, I feel a little
wager comin' on there, pal.
Oh, a wager, what do you think, Jimmy,
5O bucks, something like that?
Yeah, I'd say 50.
You got it, 50.
I'll even throw in the
wet panties as proof.
Hey, beautiful, I'm talkin' to you!
Wait a second, all right?
Did you want me?
I'm Richard Farley, quarterback.
Oh, really!
What's your name?
Sarah,
Sarah Walker.
- Well, Sarah, seems like
today's your lucky day.
I want you to come and watch me.
Here's a special pass to the game.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
I appreciate the thought,
but I really do have other plans, Richard.
Uh, just hold on there!
What are you doing in here?
- I don't know what kind
of a guy you think I am,
but, uh, I just don't give
these passes to every girl
that walks in off the streets.
- I really have no idea
what kind of guy you are.
All I want is your phone number!
Nsst, now I know.
She's walkin' away!
Get him outta here!
Can't I just call ya?
I'm late and you're in my way!
Tomorrow night, say, uh, seven o'clock.
I'll pick ya UP-
' No!
All right.
Wow, what are you doing, let me down!
- Either you say yes
or I'm gonna take Becky
out in the hallway naked.
' Sarah!
All right.
Nice view, huh?
Very nice.
It gets better.
This place has good vibes!
Ah, good air.
So, uh, whatta you think?
About what?
About me.
I haven't really given it much thought.
Well, that's all right.
We have all night long.
- I think that I should
be getting home now.
You know, uh,
I lost it up here.
Really, well,
thank you for sharing that moment with me.
May we go now?
We just got here!
It's late.
Will you lighten up a little?
Did anyone ever tell you
what a bitchin' bod ya have?
It's time for me to go now, Richard,
or is it d*ck?
I am serious!
- Listen, I just spent
17.50 plus tip on dinner.
You didn't buy me!
A guy's gotta get somethin'.
- Well, that is all
you're getting from me,
now, I am going home
even if I have to walk.
Oh, so you want me to work for it?
What are you doing?
Now, listen, I've been watching you
pushin' through those
clothes all night long.
You can't lead a guy on and not deliver!
Lead you on?
Nobody hits one of the Trokes!
This coulda been fun, now come here!
Now I'm gonna show you what
17.50 plus tips is worth!
Now you're gonna see me score
right between the uprights!
' Stop it!
- We gotta see her tits,
are they in the picture?
Where's the frame line?
What in the hell?
Jesus Christ, Harry!
- [Harry Gimme a break, Josh,
we gotta see some flesh!
That's it, no more!
Next thing you guys are
probably gonna wanna do
is ice my nipples to make 'em stick out!
Why are women always the
ones to be exploited?
What is it with you guys'?
Hey, I'm having a great time!
Oh, really?
Well, would you if you had
to walk around this scene
with your schlong hanging out?
Only in your case, darling,
it would be a shlort!
Come on, Callie, it's a movie!
Bullshit!
You know what happens to movies?
People see them, it
seeps into their minds.
Everything we do plants a seed.
The f*ck is she talkin' about?
I am talking about the necessity
of this scene, Harry!
Look, ya gotta know, she was r*ped.
You don't have to show it to know it!
Who the hell wants to hear about it?
It is degrading to women!
It sells tickets!
Well, it shouldn't!
- If they keep seeing
'em, I'll keep makin' 'em!
No, no, I am sorry.
There is nothing
redeeming about this sh*t!
This could be trouble, Arthur.
- Well, I didn't want to
write the scene this way!
Told me you were trying
to say something with this picture!
Maybe we can k*ll off her character.
Life as a Cuisinart?
- Maybe we can
rewrite some of this.
- Cribbin' actresses, shoulda
done an animated horror film.
Harry, am I getting paid or what?
Roy, what are you talking about?
My check.
You didn't get it'?
No.
Jesus Christ!
I'm gonna fire that secretary!
She can't do this to my
crew, you guys are family!
Look, I'll personally
messenger the check to you.
Can't trust the mail.
Guys workin', what is this, charity?
Jesus Christ!
- Excuse me.
- What?
Mr. Sleerik, sorry.
L
- just wanted to thank you for letting me
be a part of this picture.
Ah, anytime, kid, you're a good actor.
And I was thinking-
Look, we'll talk.
' Great.
Arthur?
Your script got us into this
and you're just gonna have to pull us out.
But that isn't my script!
I know she's a pain in the ass,
but I need her to finish this picture.
What she really needs is the
old six inches behind the barn.
I, I can't-
I'm not asking you to do that,
but you better write something redeeming.
Well, what?
A scene for Callie, I don't know.
Two girls talk about love,
marriage, babies.
Babies?
Yeah, make it poignant.
Redeeming, you know,
life is wonderful crap.
Give me a lot of hope.
Hope.
- And set it in the locker
room shower so they're naked.
Things are gettin' crazy!
What is it, is it me, is it the school?
Ever since I got here, I don't feel right.
No, no, wait a minute.
Listen, remember when
you were in high school,
how you thought you'd never get out?
Well, you're livin' and workin' here,
it's kind of the same thing.
No, that's not what I mean.
I don't know, maybe it's that
people actually d*ed here.
It was pretty gruesome.
Before the incidents,
had anything like this
ever happened before?
No, that's why it was such a shock.
I mean, I grew up here.
Crippen High defined normal.
I mean, we did typically normal things.
Look, I'll show ya.
This is what you wanted to show me?
Yeah.
- An empty locker,
that's very impressive.
No, no no no no, look again, look.
Steve and Cathy.
Steve and Cathy?
This was my locker.
- A little heart complete
with cupid's arrow!
Blake, you're a softie!
What do you mean, arrow?
Isn't it just like a man to forget?
No, I never drew that arrow.
That wasn't there yesterday, either.
That's a fresh scratch and
it's right through my name.
Huh, maybe,
maybe there is something going on.
Like what?
Like whoever did the killings is back.
Yeah, but why?
Because they like it.
Yo, Robbie, are you in here, man?
Come on, bro, where do you
want me to put this stuff, huh?
Can't miss it here.
Man.
What the hell?
Son of a bitch!
Whoa!
Yo, is that you, man?
Hey, look, come here,
you gotta check this out.
Bro, is that you?
My God!
Help!
Help!
Help, help!
No!
That's what I call blood.
Not that one little
artistic drip you wanna see!
I'm not gonna film it, Harry.
Oh yes, you will, if you wanna get paid.
It's crass, it's crude, it's-
It's great entertainment!
You see what's happening here, Arthur?
Defend your script!
I wanted to do a psychological thriller.
You call this psychological?
This is blatant abuse of the audience!
- What abuse, everyone
loves a good gross-out!
Look, I'm tryin' to do a film
that
- Josh!
Isolates
the brittle edge of sanity.
A simple, normal town
plunged into a series
of ghastly murders, why?
How could it happen, they say.
Nothing ever happens in this town.
And there lies the thread,
the thread that we follow.
We follow it, Harry, to
its horrifying revelation.
And what is that?
Oh, yes.
What is that?
- So, you never
saw Cathy after the prom?
No, she, uh,
she just went away.
Why?
I don't know.
We slept together that
night, it was my first time.
Then, she went away to
her grandparents' place
for summer vacation.
When she didn't come back,
I thought I'd done something terrible.
I didn't sleep with another
girl for three years after that.
Uh, uh, that-that Robbie fella, he,
he asked me to mop up.
L-
never seen such a mess.
Must be sh**t' some gruesome scenes.
All right, let's clear this up.
Freddie, uh, don't we have
some new pages being Xeroxed?
Where's Peter?
Uh, there are three possibilities.
Our, uh, our trusty production assistant
either quit because of no pay,
quit because of being
Harry's whipping post,
or, um, quit because of pressure
to round up local bimbos.
Tss, the body count rises.
Hey, Dillon, didn't you
tell anyone of the grips
just, uh, disappeared, vanished?
That's right.
Took a walk down a dark hallway
and that was all she wrote.
None of this makes sense.
We thought they were quitting!
We know different now, don't we?
No one heard the screams?
Sure, but you just figured
someone was rehearsing their lines!
They were dropping like flies in there!
How could ya not notice?
On a low budget film,
you just get so used to working with less,
you expect a certain amount of attrition!
Look, someone doesn't show up for work,
somebody else doubles up on that job!
See, we have one actress play
three different characters.
Just plopped on a new wig!
But the blood, it was all over!
- In a western, everything
gets covered with dirt.
Two days on this movie,
everything I own was covered with blood!
Harry wanted lots and lots of blood.
I guess it just didn't take that much
for the k*ller to just
casually blend it all together.
- There's nothing casual
about any of this!
I know.
No one inside yet, sir.
None that we could see.
What the hell happened to you?
There's blood everywhere!
Slippery, just fell.
I slid from Greenway's chemistry class
all the way to Brosnahan's English.
Found this, though.
Where was it?
The biology lab.
What do you know about the biology lab'?
- They changed every scene
I wrote for that location.
My stuff was butchered!
- The animals we use in
our dissections are dead,
though preserved wholly intact,
much like the specimens
you see in these jars.
As you can see,
this rat is in a
condition almost identical
to that when it was first placed
in the preserving solution.
A solution known as formaldehyde.
Now, we must be very careful
when working with this solution
because if inhaled,
these vapors can produce
quite an adverse reaction,
as Mr. Porter will now demonstrate.
Having a nightmare, Donny?
Yeah, no, I don't, I don't know.
- Well, that's because your
gray matter was on holiday.
You were sleeping in my classroom
for the third time this week.
I'm gonna have to find something
very interesting for you,
and I don't like doing that.
Not for a worthless, sniveling-
Uh, Mr. Birnbaum?
Well, what have we here?
Ah,
your name is Susan?
Yes, the lady in the office
said that you might have
room for another student.
I just started here today,
and all the other classes
this period were full.
Maybe I'll just go the library.
- Oh, no no no, of course,
we have room for you.
Now, uh, let's see.
Is anyone sitting there?
Let's get back to formaldehyde.
It's not just in this rat jar-
Hi.
Don Porter.
Susie.
If you ever need to borrow my notes
or anything, just ask.
We aren't all listening,
are we?
- Thanks.
Porter!
Porter, how could anyone be so pathetic.
You're a freak of nature, Porter.
Much like that dodo bird, too weak,
too stupid, too ignorant to survive,
so nature k*lled it off.
Everyone, take a look at a
soon-to-be-extinct species,
the Donnybird.
Chapter 17 for tomorrow's
dissection examination.
Uh, Susan.
Susan, you have a lot of
extra work to make up.
- Yes, I'll start tonight,
I'll catch up in no time.
- Oh, I realize your
good intentions, Susan,
but, uh, I think you'll need
some extra-curricular tutoring.
- Tutoring, why, Mr. Birnbaum,
I am a straight-A student.
Ah, that was at another school, Susan.
You'll find that I'm far more exacting.
That's why I make myself available
at night to my more promising students.
Excuse me, I gotta talk to him.
I'm busy right now, Miss McComb.
Yeah, most of the time.
Didn't used to be, though,
not when you wanted me coming in at night.
It's OK, I can wait.
But how come I'm gettin'
C's now instead of A's?
Perhaps if you looked into the mirror,
you could figure that out
for yourself, Miss McComb.
Would you like to drop another grade?
You'd better buzz off.
You want an A, too?
Don't worry, he finishes fast.
Susan?
Uh, that's the warning bell.
I think I better get going.
Richard, Richard, this is Officer Blake,
from the Crippen Police Department
and he's investigating the
death of that Farley boy
and that, uh, cheerleader that-
- Oh, yes, yes, Sheri Haines,
uh, she was a lovely girl.
Well, how can I help you?
About the murders.
Oh, yes, grisly affair.
Reminds me of some of my students'
sloppy dissection examinations.
You, uh, told Principal Kastleman
that you had some thoughts
on who might've done this?
Yes, yes, I believe I do.
Well, anything would be appreciated.
You know, this really isn't very accurate.
I mean, Birnbaum didn't know anything!
That's not the point, cut it.
- Well, I thought that's
what the scene was about.
- The scene is about
getting finished by 6:30.
I have a crew that wants to go eat dinner!
Yeah, what is for dinner?
- Then, if there are no
further interruptions,
I'm gonna slip quietly into
a hot tub and slit my wrists,
thus providing Harry with more
of his sought-after blood for this epic.
Gate's clean, let's go again.
We are making a movie!
All other life ceases to exist.
There is only the next scene, huh?
Rana pipiens, the common field frog.
Now, as you all can see,
little Freddie is dead, very dead!
Dead little Freddie, and in a few moments,
you will all have the unique pleasure,
as we try to discover what
makes Freddie Freddie,
as we split him open on your desks.
If you ever want to be a
coroner and carve up people-
Are you OK?
- You must
first start with frogs.
They're just little creatures!
I can't!
Porter, talking again?
Would you like to share your vast wisdom
with the whole class?
L-
may have to be excused.
What, and miss all the fun?
Mr. Birnbaum, Donny loves animals,
he's very sensitive and-
He's a scared little snot.
What's the matter, Porter?
Are you afraid to go poking
around little Freddie?
Well, that's what I'm here for,
to inspire you.
Now begin by inserting the scalpel.
You'll have to separate the epidermis
from the spinal column.
And then the most rewarding
part of this exercise.
He will insert the scalpel
past the chest wall
and with his free hand, reach in,
firmly grasping the
heart, and tear it out.
I can't!
Let me do it, I know how!
- No, he'll do it or he
won't leave this class.
Now, dig in.
Susan?
Is that you, Susan?
Well, you just have a seat
and I'll be right with you.
I'm glad you've changed your mind
about our tutoring sessions.
Susan?
Susan?
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought
you were one of my students.
As you all can see, little Freddie's dead!
Very dead little Freddie!
But that's what I'm here for,
to inspire you.
In a few moments,
you will all have the unique pleasure
as we split him open on your desks.
As we all try to discover
what makes Freddie, Freddie.
Come, you good children
Come and greet your teacher
Come and greet your teacher
Be what you learn
You start all over again
How could you ever think
About pleasure and pain
Come, you good children
Come and greet your teacher
Said all you good children
Come and greet your teacher
Now just stand in line
And wait for your turn
Was I the one you need
The one that you bum
Come and greet your teacher
Did he really die that way?
Best as we could piece together.
Sorry, that's a bad choice of words.
I'm scared!
I think something's going on,
all these people leaving, not showing up.
- Well, I heard it was
normal on a film like this.
I don't feel normal about this!
I just think there's somebody out there,
waiting, and I wanna find him.
Or her.
Or it, first.
- OK, let's
write down what we know.
How 'bout a list of names?
Yeah, that's good.
Anyone who you think
is remotely connected.
Hello, Sally, yeah, Harry.
Yeah, listen, I just wanted to
follow up on that interview.
There's a few things I
thought you might like to add.
Well, it seems people are
disappearing from my set!
Yeah, crew members, some actors.
Yeah, well,
you know, I thought it
was nothing at first,
then I had remembered
that you had mentioned
in our first interview that you thought
the m*rder*r may still
be out there somewhere!
Yes, I think it could be a missing person.
The police, huh, they
don't know what to do.
Let's clear for the camera.
Where'd you get this?
_ Hmm?
Oh, that's my daughter, Cathy.
Cathy Johnson?
No, Cathy Kastleman.
May I, please, thank you.
No no no, wait a minute,
this is my girlfriend from high school.
Cathy Johnson.
After all that-
What's going on here?
She used, uh, Johnson.
Didn't want kids to know
that her father was their principal.
So where is she now?
Away-
But where?
Grad school.
When's she coming back?
- Hey, are we gonna
sh**t this thing or what?
If I knew my motivation,
maybe I could play the scene better.
What's my motivation?
You're dead!
Dead people have no motivation!
They don't do anything!
The horror, the horror!
I wish there was something I could do
to help out, maybe, maybe
I could fix up the story.
- Listen, fixing this script
would be like polishing a turd.
Why did you ever wanna
write this thing anyway?
A long time ago,
I went to this high school.
Writing this was like
coming home again.
Could be any of 'em.
Even me.
Would you be serious?
- Look, a good detective
doesn't rule out anybody
when he's building a case.
You see, the note you
throw out may k*ll you.
It's so awful.
Come here.
What?
_ (jmere!
What?
So, uh, you like my uniform, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Late at night in my apartment
I hear the sound of love
coming through the wall
I long for him deep inside me
But here I am, all alone, after all
I'm gonna get into the situation
I called it love, he said infatuation
I've been with boys but
he's the one who satisfies
He's the only man for me
Oh, I need him desperately
Man for me, man for me
The end of him, that's what he told me
He looked at me so
warm in light, so goldly
I was naive, he was convincing
My knees were weak when he said
Baby hold me
He asked if I need
love and some stability
He said he must protect his masculinity
How can I change his mind,
Make him realize
He's the only man for me
Oh, I need him desperately
Man for me
- Callie, they're onto
us, we know too much!
What?
Christ, my g*n's missing!
Blake, what's that noise?
For God's sake, lock the door!
Look, stop, stop!
Honey, they can't hear
you, everybody's gone!
Where?
I don't know, get a grip on yourself!
Blake, I think he's gone.
Someone must have stolen my g*n.
Blake!
Oh God, Blake!
Blake, get up, get up!
Oh my God!
Get up!
And, cut!
Yes, great, Callie, that was perfect!
- Go again, OK, let's
come around on camera, OK.
No, Amos, stop!
Callie!
You OK?
We were dead.
Come on, just let it go, it's all right.
I can't.
All right, we'll take a walk.
You all right?
I guess.
Just take some deep breaths, OK?
Blake!
What?
Get over here.
That's blood, isn't it?
- Looks like
someone was dragging a body.
A body?
I'll check it out.
You're not leaving me alone.
on, God!
What happened here?
My guess is they dragged the body.
Hacked it up, flushed it.
What's that?
It was Freddie's.
That's Freddie, the first A.D.,
first assistant director.
Not much left.
That's all you could find of him?
- Um, well, uh, we found
the intestines, sir,
but, uh, we left them.
I mean, well, uh, he
just must've eaten, sir,
because, uh, well, you know.
Yeah, I can imagine.
The area sealed off?
No one in or out.
Good.
Then whoever did all this
could still be in there.
I want a room by room search.
I wouldn't do that.
" Why not?
- We tried that and that's
when things got really tough.
Whoever or
whatever it was,
it just made them mad.
We have to check every room.
Maybe we should get some of the others.
Who will we trust?
You're right.
OK, let's go.
Jeez!
Robbie!
Turn on some lights.
OK, boss.
God!
This can't be happening!
Pull yourself together!
They were my friends!
Look, there's nothing,
there's nothing we can
do for them now, OK?
We, we gotta call the police.
No, if we take the time to get help,
then the son of a bitch could get away!
What does that mean?
- It means that he's
still here, somewhere.
Look, you see this?
This blood hasn't had time to dry.
Blake?
Take a look at this.
It just stops.
Oh, sh*t!
Wait a minute,
maybe we just can't see where it went.
Looks like a tunnel.
Where?
Down!
Blake, Blake!
Are you OK?
Yeah.
You ripped it.
What are you doing?
Going down there.
- Without a flashlight,
what are you crazy?
Why does everybody always wanna go down
into a dark basement without a flashlight?
- Well, grab
one, let's get going!
It was a spider.
Uh-huh, yeah, it's dead now.
Are you OK?
No!
- Oh, Christ,
I can't find the g*n.
Why not?
- Because I
don't have a flashlight.
Oh.
What is this place?
I don't know.
- This room
has to lead someplace!
Well, let's hope so.
Shh, shh, shh!
It's OK, we must be close.
To what?
How did you know that?
Training.
Jesus!
What the hell is this?
I don't know.
Hey!
Callie!
Don't touch 'em!
What?
I- I-I just comes to warn ya.
What are you saying?
Look at their faces.
Every one of 'em, Cathy Kastleman.
The principal's daughter?
They all wanted to touch her so, kkeek!
So Kastleman made you k*ll them.
- No, no, I've been
watchin' him for years.
I just found this place, I,
I thought you was him coming back.
There's one chair left, huh?
It's for you.
Blake!
Kastleman, you h*nky!
There never was an Amos!
"Ooh!
Ooh, that was fun, I enjoyed that,
didn't you enjoy that?
Didn't you enjoy that, Steven?
Back, get back!
Didn't you enjoy it, I did.
You did, too, didn't you, didn't you?
Yeah.
You see now, what you've done, Steven?
You have been very
destructive to my classroom.
You take your seat!
Take your seat!
You've been very disruptive.
You're gonna have to stay after school.
Come on, let the girl go!
Let the girl go!
No, this one is for me.
This is one is mine, Steven.
Put your hands up,
sweetie, and keep 'em up.
You stay back, get your hands in there.
Get 'em in there, ah!
Ooh, not so tight, is it?
Is it?
This one's mine, Steven.
You know why?
It's an even trade.
You know why?
Because you, you k*lled my daughter.
I loved your daughter!
Yes, yes, yes, you did!
So much so that she got pregnant
And she had to give herself an abortion
Go 'head, go 'head!
Go ahead, you want some of this?
Do you want it in the ear'?
Y- y-you said Cathy went away, to school!
Yes, that's right!
She did go away to school.
She's in, she's in class everyday.
She's a very good student,
she's not naughty like you-00 are!
Would you like to see her?
Hmm?
Would you both like to see my sweet Cathy?
Oh, mmm, oh!
Oh, ah, 0h!
There she is!
" Cathy!
Ah, now, we're going to have
a little wedding ceremony!
Flowers, garter,
she always wanted little purple flowers!
She always wanted a full ceremony,
she said, "Daddy, can
I have a garter belt?"
Mwah, and you, you my dear,
you, my sweet, mwah, you're going.
Not too tight, is it,
is it?
You are going to be the maid of honor.
And you, you, Steven,
are going to marry Cathy.
I'm not taking this sh*t anymore.
Where, where are you going?
Home.
What?
It's, uh, Monday Night Football.
You can't, you can't do that.
What are you gonna do about it?
L- I'll k*ll her!
Go ahead, she hates football.
Blake?
- I'm sorry, the Steelers
are playin' the Raiders.
You sh*t!
Are you crazy?
You are crazy.
Class dismissed.
All right, let's get out of here.
- I thought that you were
really gonna leave me here.
Nah, I hate football.
They never got out!
Everything happened too fast after that.
No one else got out, it was awful!
It was awful.
Pull yourself together, Mr. Lyman.
Now, listen up.
I want you to show me the basement,
where that classroom is.
We're gonna launch a frontal as*ault!
All right, Tyler, wrap it up.
Listen up, you 9W3-
You ready, check your weapons!
We don't know what's in there.
Down there.
Stand back.
It's in our hands now.
All clear.
- All right, let's move, we're
outta here in 30 seconds.
Everybody grab your parts!
Yo, Robbie!
Robbie, you're a genius!
Best body shop in town!
Boy, you guys really know how to party!
Yeah!
- Blake, they're gonna
find Kastleman's body!
I think that's what Harry wants.
Some stupid 989!
Hey, come on, chill out, man!
Harry paid us to go along
with it anyway, right?
Yeah, just like Oliver and Jimmy.
Hey, Robbie, ya had my
neck in that noose, man.
The fan was buzzing, I
thought I was never gonna
get outta there alive.
What a trip!
Terrific, Robbie.
Oh, thank you.
Give me my arm back later.
Yes, sir.
Squad car keys?
Uh, they're in the dumpster.
- Hey, Robbie, save my
head for me, will ya?
Hold it, hold it!
Thanks.
Wear it in good health.
You know, Harry, I-l can't believe
you had this planned from the beginning.
I didn't know it was gonna work
until Callie and Blake
discovered that Kastleman
was the real k*ller!
Do you know how much publicity
this is gonna generate?
They all d*ed but the film survived!
It's gonna bank a mint!
- Consider some
serious therapy, Harry.
I'll work on it.
Next time, for real.
- Check all those
bodies, behind those bars there.
Jesus, what a mess!
' Ha!
Chief?
- Check
that boiler room out!
- This is
the most bizarre thing
I've ever seen, this is
the work of a real sicko.
' Cathy?
Good, clean hit!
Self-defense.
I want pictures of all this mess,
and get forensic on it right away.
The hell happened?
They were all dead!
Mutilated, we saw them!
We did see them!
Some sicko must've carted them away.
You mean, someone is still out there?
Well,
that's the way we gotta play it.
Wh, h-how do we fill out the reports?
We've got no forms to cover this!
Shouldataken that NYPD offer.
New York can't be as bad as all this.
Well, Dad, they're gone.
They didn't want the truth,
but they'll be back.
They always do sequels.
And I'll be waiting!
No rewrites next time.
Dad!
I love it when the guy gets the girl
In the nick of time
So they can make a getaway
I love when the monster appears
At the top of the stairs
And runs around to get his prey
I like
Scary memes
I like
Scary memes
I love those scary movies
I love it when they walk down the hall
When they stay in tight
And the people start to disappear
I love it when you can't hear a sound
Then suddenly
Screams are all that you can hear
I like
Scary memes
I like
Scary memes
I love those scary movies
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