It's time.
Hey, there.
Morning.
How are you today?
Hey. What are you doing up?
Moo.
Is that daddy?
Hey, there, cowgirl.
She's a little feisty today.
Babies are supposed to be sleeping.
I'm too hungry for my own good.
Yes.
I got to get ready.
Wrong day to be forgetting stuff.
Listen, everyone is telling you how lucky you are.
Don't screw this up.
All right. Jesus.
She go back to sleep?
Yep. Ate like a pig.
I know how lucky I am.
I ace this assignment, department's wide open.
Get my own division someday.
You should see those guys' houses.
Hello?
Why, yes.
Don't worry. I will.
Yeah, he's right here.
Hello.
Hoyt?
Uh, yes, sir.
You on your way to roll call?
Yeah, I'm on my way
Out the door right now.
Hoyt. Uh, yes, sir?
Patrol fairies go to roll call.
We don't go to roll call.
OK, that's good to know.
Listen, there's a coffee shop at seventh and whitman.
See you there at 10:00. Be in civvies.
Comfortable shoes. Got a backup g*n?
Something pocket-Sized?
Uh, no, sir, I don't.
I got the department issue Beretta.
Good, good. Bring it. Cuffs too.
Going to be in the office all day,
But who knows, maybe we'll do some business.
We're an aggressive unit.
I know. Sir, that's why I signed up.
And, you know, I just want to say
Thank you for giving me this...
What's wrong?
I feel like it's the first day
Of football tryouts.
I mean, I wish it was tomorrow already
So I'd know whether I made his squad.
Listen, it's not tomorrow, it's today.
I know it's going to work out.
You do?
Mm-Hmm.
Good morning, sir.
Uh, no, thank you, ma'am.
Oh, get some chow in you
Before we go to the office. My dollar.
Uh, thank you, sir, but I ate.
All right, fine. Don't.
It's nice here.
May I read my paper?
I'm sorry, sir. I...
Thank you.
You know what? I'll get something to eat.
No. Hell, no, you won't. You f*cked that up.
I'm trying to read my paper. Please, shut up.
I sure wouldn't mind not roasting
In a hot black and white all summer.
Tell me a story, Hoyt.
Like, my story?
No, not your story. A story.
Since you can't keep your mouth shut
Long enough for me to read my paper,
Tell me a story.
I don't think I know any stories.
You don't know any stories?
All right, I'll tell you a story.
This is a newspaper, right?
It's 90% bullshit, but it's entertaining.
That's why I read it, because it entertains me.
You won't let me read it, so you entertain me
With your bullshit. Tell me a story right now. Go.
Well, there was a D.U.I. Stop...
A D.U.I. Stop? Well, let me load up my g*ns.
A D.U.I.?! Oh, sh*t!
Listen, all right? It's good.
We were on mid-Watch...
We?
Oh, me and Debbie...
Who's Debbie?
Uh, oh, I'm sorry.
Uh, Debbie Maxwell, my training officer.
You had a female training officer?
Yes, sir.
Ah, OK. OK. All right. All right.
Ha ha ha! So what was she? Black? White?
She was white.
Ah-Ha. Lick her license?
Uh, what?
A lick her license. Was she a d*ke? A lesbian?
Oh.
Is she any good?
Yeah, she's pretty good.
OK. Pretty good Debbie, mid-Watch. Go.
All right. So it was a real quiet night...
Boom!
Ha ha! You never know. That's the point. Go.
All right, well, it was a quiet night.
We're rolling on vanowen. I'm driving.
This Acura, just a beautiful car,
Comes out a side street,
All over the median. In excess.
I light it up, hit the wailer.
Guy drives on like I'm invisible
For 10 blocks before he pulls over.
All right? Plates run clean,
So I field test and arrest.
And I'm belting him in our unit,
And Debbie's tossing his car.
She calls me over to the vehicle
And shows me a snub .38 and 2 shotguns
Fully loaded and locked.
No sh*t?
No sh*t. So, uh, she calls our supervisor
And I keep searching.
I find 500 grams of meth in the dash.
Turns out this D.U.I.
Is on bail for distribution.
He's on his way to smoke his ex-Partner
Before trial.
Boom.
We prevented a m*rder.
You go him. That's amazing.
It is.
That you could be out there with a fine bitch for a year,
And the most entertaining story that you can come up with
To tell me is a drunk stop.
But I don't believe you.
You tapped that ass, didn't you?
Tell the truth. You know you tapped that ass.
You put her in the backseat. Bam! Code x.
Look, man, I got a wife.
You got a d*ck.
You do have a d*ck, don't you?
Yes.
OK, your d*ck lines up
Straight like that, right?
To the right of it and to the left of it
Are pockets, right? In those pockets are money.
Look in either one of them, pay the bill.
Hey, grab that menu off that window for me,
All right?
Get in. It's unlocked.
Just throw that in the glove box.
This car is not from the motor pool.
No, it's not. Sexy, though, isn't it?
So where's the office? Back at division?
You're in the office, baby.
Going up.
Today's a training day, officer Hoyt.
Show you around.
Give you a taste of the business, you know?
I got 38 cases pending trials,
63 in active investigation,
Another 250 on the log I can't clear.
I supervise 5 officers.
That's 5 different personalities.
5 sets of problems.
You could be number 6 if you act right.
But I am holding no hands, you understand?
I am not baby-Sitting. You got today
And today only to show me who
And what you're made of.
You don't like narcotics,
Get the f*ck out of my car,
Go back to the office,
Get a nice, p*ssy desk job, you know?
Chasing bad checks or something. You hear me?
I hear you. OK.
Why do you want to be a narc?
I want to, um, serve my community
By ridding it of dangerous dr*gs.
Right. Right. But why do you want to be a narc?
Ha ha ha. Uh, I want to make detective.
There you go. You can do it.
Stick with me. You can do it.
Unlearn that bullshit
They teach you at the academy, though.
Don't bring none of that sh*t in here.
sh*t will get you k*lled out here.
I will do anything you want me to do.
My niggah.
Roll your window down. Start there.
Ha ha ha. See, you got to hear the street.
You got to smell it, you know?
You got to taste that sh*t, feel it.
How's your Espa?ol?
Um...mas o menos.
Learn that sh*t, brother.
Learn that sh*t. That sh*t will get you k*lled.
These m*therf*ckers out here plotting all kinds of sh*t
Behind your back.
sh*t, man. You going to teach me that old school,
Hard charging, b*at up everything that moves,
Rodney king sh*t?
We don't do that no more. That day's dead, dog.
We don't roll like that no more.
Now we use this. Brain power.
These niggahs are too strong out here anyway.
You think I'm crazy, right? Huh?
I don't know what to think.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Good.
Good.
Ah...
How long have you been married?
About a year.
Yeah? Yeah.
You got a kid, right?
That's right. A little girl. 9 months old.
Yeah. I got 4. Boys.
You need a son, you let me know.
I'll hook your old lady up, you know?
I can't miss.
Can we not talk about my family,
All right?
I respect that.
I'm married. I got my queen, too.
I remember what it was like
To have a pretty young bride.
You probably f*ck her
Face to face, don't you?
All right, man.
Let's just not talk about my wife, all right?
Yeah, that's my point, you see?
You're so in love,
The sh*t is coming out of your eyes.
The day you bring your old lady to the office
Is the day that you don't make it back home.
You got to hide that love deep inside you, you understand?
Otherwise, these maggots out here on the street,
They'll find it. They'll use it against you,
And they will chew you up...
Never wear that wedding ring to work.
I'm serious about that.
All right. All right. Thanks.
What's here?
Transactions.
You see that salvatrucha zero head
Sitting over there on the fence
Trying to act like he's not slanging dope?
Yeah. Yeah. That's my boy.
That's my boy neto.
The punk's only 17,
But he can k*ll with the best of them.
He works for me.
Jesus, he's an... He's an informer?
Teammate, you know? I got eyes everywhere.
He gets to pedal a little reefer,
Make a little cash for the family.
He gives me the head's up
When big things are happening.
Big transactions.
boom. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
And you trust him?
Damn right I trust him.
I sprung his mom from I.N.S. Detention.
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
Watch this.
That's right. Come on down.
Come on. Look at it. Sexy, isn't it?
That's right.
See the hand-To-Hand?
Yeah, I saw it. I saw it.
All right. When was the last time
You did a felony stop?
Uh, a couple weeks ago.
Good. You need practice.
They look like college kids.
They'll get education today.
I want the Brady bunch grabbing glass.
I'm going to take the front, you take the back.
Stay off of the rover. Let's go.
Yeah, you little f*ckers.
Run, baby, run. That's right.
Police officers. Let's see your hands.
Police. Put your hands up!
Put them up! Put them up!
Driver, right side passenger, hands on
The windshield. Put them on the windshield!
You, in the back, hands on the side of the glass.
Look straight ahead.
Put it in park! Stick shift.
Grab the keys and throw them out the window.
Put your hands on your chest.
Put your hands on your chest!
All right. Fork it over, smart man.
What?
You know what I'm talking about.
Aah! The marijuana.
Give it to me! Give it to me!
Ow! Give it to me!
OK, OK, OK.
Sorry, sir. I...
Shut up. Too late for that.
Give me that pipe you got.
Down there on the floor, too.
My mom gave me this pipe.
I don't care who gave it to you.
She could pick it up in jail. What else you got?
Give me them cigarettes, too.
Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. Hey!
Control your suspect.
Miss, palms on the glass.
you move those hands,
I'll slap the taste out of your mouth,
You understand me?
Put your face right up against the glass.
Right there.
Now, what are you doing down here?
You know this is a g*ng neighborhood, don't you?
Ow, ow! Yeah, yeah!
You know it's a g*ng neighborhood?
Then don't come down here.
I see you down here again,
I'm going to take your vehicle.
I'm going to ...make you walk home.
I'm going to let the homeboys up the hill...
...Run a train on your girlfriend.
You know what a train is, don't you, huh?
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
All right, gentlemen.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Let's go. Safe your iron, son.
sh*t!
I like that sh*t.
Hey, I like the way you moved out there.
You were trained very well.
Check that out.
It's a shitty dime. See the small hairs,
Undeveloped seeds...
All the stems in it? See how immature it is?
That's classic brick-Pack Mexican.
That's garbage.
Let me see. Give me.
Yeah, it's old, too.
sh*t is probably from last year.
To be truly effective,
A good narcotics agent must know and love narcotics.
In fact, a good narcotics agent
Should have narcotics in his blood.
what...
What, are you going to smoke that?
Nope, you are.
hell if I am.
Yeah? Yeah? You're not?
No.
Why, you a Mormon or something?
You're a Jesus freak?
No, man. I'm not losing my job.
This is your job.
I can't do that. Smoke it.
This isn't a test. Just take a hit.
No, man, listen. I became a cop
To stop people from using...
Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's not a review board and it isn't cocaine.
Take a hit. No, man.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, right.
If I was a dealer,
You'd be dead by now, m*therf*cker.
You turn sh*t down on the street,
And the chief brings your wife
A crisply folded flag.
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
Talking about... You know what?
I don't want you in my unit,
And I don't want you in my division.
Get the f*ck out of my car.
Go back to the valley, rookie.
Pooping ass.
Give me that thing.
I'll smoke it, man. Give it to me.
You want me to smoke it, I'll smoke it.
ah, virgin lungs.
Man up, now. Man up, niggah.
Here you go. Go ahead.
Dog, you didn't even get it.
come on!
Shut the f*ck up, and just wait.
Oh, god.
man the f*ck up.
Finish that sh*t. Aha!
Let's go, niggah. Let's go.
Oh, sh*t.
You OK, kid?
That was a man-Size hit you took, dog.
When was the last time you smoked weed?
Uh, the last... Last, uh, 12th grade.
We were...
Oh, we were, um...
Smoking weed.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, left that out
Of your service jacket, didn't you?
Yeah, I knew you got secrets.
Everybody got secrets. Didn't know
You liked to get wet, though.
What's "wet?"
Butt-Naked. Ill.
Sherms. Dust.
P.C.P. Primos.
P-Dog. That's what you had.
That's what you were smoking.
You couldn't taste it?
Nah, I never done it.
You have now.
I haven't, but you have.
Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.
Man, I'm going to get piss-Tested,
And I'm going to get fired.
Lieutenant's got our back.
We know a week before we piss.
Oh, sh*t.
sh*t. Boom!
Why did you do this to me?
Ah, you're an adult, man. sh*t.
Nobody told you to smoke that.
You made the decision. Live with your decision.
Isn't like I put a g*n to your head.
sh*t, man.
Oh, man. sh*t.
Come on. Get your sh*t together now.
This is my dog's house.
We'll see what he thinks of you.
Brother, get your ass in here.
roger, what's up, boy?
All right. How they treating you, huh?
Give me a pound.
All right.
I didn't wake you up, did I?
no, baby. You know I never sleep.
That's right. Hey, this is my new guy Jake.
Come on in.
Yeah, time to get my swerve on here.
What you drinking, dog?
What am I drinking? The best.
The best. I know. It's the best for the best.
I heard you had a beef in Vegas.
There's a green light on your ass.
Nah, no problem. It's all good.
the Russians want your head.
You know I got your back.
I know that. Thank you.
Here.
Get that medicine up in you.
Back to the world, dog.
Back to the world.
You went and got yourself a daisy fresh rookie.
Jesus, Alonzo, he's high as a m*therf*cker.
What the hell you give him?
Oh, Mexico's finest.
Yeah.
oh.
Garbage.
Where did you grow up?
North Hollywood.
what's your last name?
Hoyt. Hoyt.
Hoyt. Hoyt...
Strong safety, north Hollywood high.
that's right.
How did you know that?
Yeah, how the f*ck did you know that?
I follow all the good players.
Uh, excuse me.
Strong safety, huh?
it's me. What's up?
I can't do a thing for you.
It's your mess. You clean it up.
Don't be calling me.
Hey...
Here's a joke, boy.
A man walks out of his house on his way to work,
Sees this snail lying on his porch.
So he picks it up, chucks it over the roof
Into the backyard.
Snail bounces off a rock,
Busts its shell up all to sh*t,
Lands in the grass.
Hmm? Snail lies there dying.
But the snail doesn't die.
And then after a while, it can crawl again.
And one day the snail up and heads back
To the front of the house.
And finally, after, oh, about a year,
The little guy crawls back on the porch.
Right then the man walks out of his house
On his way to work. He sees this snail again.
So he looks at it, and he says...
"What the f*ck is your problem?!"
That's not funny. That's not funny.
What you laughing for then,
...If it isn't funny?
I don't know, man. I...
Hey, hey! You figure that joke out,
You'll figure the streets out.
sh*t, there is nothing to figure out.
That's just some senseless bullshit.
Don't listen to him.
Yeah, well, I...
I already figured them out.
Oh, yeah? Oh, really?
Yeah.
You already figured the streets out?
Yeah, well, it's...
It's all about smiles and cries.
Put the drink down, man.
This m*therf*cker is out of his mind.
Hey, hold on, Alonzo. Hold on, hold on.
Smiles and cries. Smiles and cries.
Smiles and cries. I hear you.
Yeah, you got to...
You got to control your smiles and cries,
Because that's all you have,
And nobody can take that away from you.
Oh, sh*t.
What you think, dog? Hmm?
Think this greenhorn can handle undercover?
You were just like him.
What?
Same silly-Ass look and everything.
Saving the god damn world!
Yeah. Yeah!
Yeah, now that's some smiles and cries
For your ass.
Yeah. sh*t lasted about a week.
yeah.
I got to get back to the office.
Thanks for the snort, dog.
Always good to see you, brother.
Yeah. Yes, sir!
Mm-Hmm. What you doing later on?
Stay in the house, save some cheddar.
I'm less than a year away from my dream.
Philippine islands, here I come,
And I am never coming back!
That's right. Let me go with you.
You're invited. Aaugh!
Hey.
Open your eyes, man, you'll feel a lot better.
Boom! Come on, man, sit your ass up.
Who are you?
I'm the zigzag man. Who the f*ck are you?
I'm a cop, man. Watch out.
Alright. Don't sh**t nobody.
Why don't you get that beer in you, man?
That will give you ballast.
Oh, no. For real.
Get that up in you, man.
You'll feel better.
Stop the car, man! What?
Stop the car. Stop... Stop the car!
I saw something. Stop the f*cking car!
All right, hold on. Hold the f*ck...
Hey. Hey! Hey!
f*ck me, man! sh*t!
Police officer! Get away from the girl!
Get away from her!
I'm going to f*ck you, too, cop!
Aah!
We didn't do sh*t, man!
That bitch is crazy! Unh!
Roll over, man. Roll the f*ck over!
f*cking-Ass prick!
My niggah!
Go ahead, cowboy.
You got mad squabbles, boy!
Thanks for the help.
Yeah, you should have sh*t them.
What's happening? Oh, hey.
You're f*cking dead!
OK, wait a minute. Hold it. Hold it!
You, too, f*cking white boy!
My cousins are from Hillside Trece,
And they're going to blast you fools!
Calm down. Calm down, all right? Are you OK?
No, I'm not OK. Look at my nose, man!
It's just a little nosebleed.
Just put a little ice on it, you're going to be fine.
What are you doing out here anyway? Huh?
These pieces of sh*t, they probably got aids,
You know? Why are you not in school?
I was just going to a ditch party...
You almost became a part of the ditch party.
Now, you say your cousins from where?
From Hillside Trece! You f*cking remember that, too!
Tell your cousins to get your back,
All right?
Grab your bag and go home right now.
Whoa, I need to get...
Go home right now!
We don't need no statement. Go! Go.
Yeah, they're going to f*ck you up, iputo!
We're going to cut them loose?
What, do you want to b*at them up? Go ahead.
Get down. Protect and serve, brother.
I got a punching bag at home.
These guys should be off the streets.
You hear that, homey?
You want to go home, or you want to go to jail, huh?
What you think?!
Ahh. Got room for you at the booty house.
You ever been to the booty house?
Huh?
Big boys have you grab your ankles, man.
Suck my d*ck, bitch! I know people!
That's how it starts.
What about you, my man? What you got?
You ain't got nothing?
No, man. You sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Where's your horn?
I have got no horn.
No? Uh-Uh.
You got money, though.
Aw, you lied to me.
You lied to me.
Lucky I don't make you eat that, dog.
Stand up, you. Stand up.
Stand the f*ck up!
Yeah. Oh, sh*t, huh?! Huh? Huh?
Turn around, sucker.
Turn around.
So you like raping young girls, huh?
Hmm? You like to r*pe young girls?
That's your m.O.? No, no...
That's what you like, isn't it?
You like to r*pe young girls.
That's what you like to do, right?
Don't lie to me.
You told me to "suck your d*ck, bitch."
Isn't that what you said to me?
Look at me.
You wanted me to suck your d*ck.
That's what you said, right?
That what you said? Hmm?
Didn't you say, "suck my d*ck, bitch"?
Don't lie to me. That's what... You keep telling me,
I'm a liar. You didn't say,
"Suck my d*ck, bitch"?
That's not what you said to me?
So I'm lying? Am I lying?
No. Please. Please!
Where is it? I can't even find it.
Let me see. Pull your pants down.
Pull them down.
Which nut you want?
I'll leave you one nut. Which one you want?
Make a decision. Make a decision.
All right, all right.
Put your hands on your head.
Close your eyes.
Close your eyes.
Uhh!
You're lucky I have more pressing business.
I'd cut your f*cking d*ck off
And stick it right up that little funky ass of yours,
Bitch!
Damn, I'm thirsty!
I want a beer. What about you?
You want a beer?
I'm going to leave you three to it, man.
p*ssy-Ass bitch!
When I see you again, I'm going to f*ck your sh*t up, bitch!
You aren't going to see sh*t coming, man!
I'll sneak up behind you
Like a m*therf*cking ninja, man.
I'll cr*ck your head open, you f*cking pig! Come on!
That girl's 14.
She all woman, though, man.
You tax that ass for days, man.
Yeah, keep walking, bitch! Unh!
You want a beer?
No, I don't want a beer, man.
No? You mad?
You want to book that 60 bucks, huh?
Here. Go ahead.
Book it into evidence, man.
Where are your suspects, though?
You got to go back and get the suspects.
I don't know where they are. You let them go.
Oh, I let them go.
Yeah, you let them go. They're...
Hey, man, you want to run and g*n, man,
Stay in patrol, OK? This is investigations,
Alright?
Let the garbage men handle the garbage.
We're professional anglers, OK?
We go after the big fish.
Chasing them monkey-Strung
Crackhead m*therf*ckers anyway! You know,
They'd have k*lled you without hesitating.
That's why they belong in prison.
For what? They got b*at down,
They lost their rock, they lost their money.
Them eses from hillside probably going to smoke them.
I mean, Jesus, what more you want?
I want justice.
Is that not justice?
That's street justice.
What's wrong with street justice?
Just let the animals wipe themselves out.
God willing! f*ck them,
And everybody who looks like them.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
The good guys, they die first, right?
The school kids and moms, family men...
They the ones catch the stray b*ll*ts
In the noodle.
To protect the sheep, you got to catch the wolf,
And it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.
You understand?
What!?
I said you protect the sheep
By k*lling the m*therf*cking wolves.
No, you didn't hear me. You listening,
But you didn't hear me.
All right, whatever.
Yeah, whatever. Whatever the f*ck ever.
Well, let me ask you this.
When do you lock anybody up?
I mean, it seems you're pretty busy keeping people out.
What the f*ck you talking about?!
You don't know what you're talking about, Betty Boop!
Got nothing but sh*t between your ears.
sh*t, they build jails because of me!
Judges have handed out over 15,000 man-Years
Of incarceration time based on my investigations, OK?
My record speaks for itself.
How many felons have you collared?
Huh?
Yeah, I rest my case.
Oh, look, man, I'm not smoking cr*ck, all right?
Glad to hear that. Just put it in the glove box.
Put the $60 in there, too.
That will come in handy later on.
We'll use it like... Like a credit card or something.
Hey, no matter what I say, you did the right thing.
Reminds me of when I was out there
Chasing down bad guys, rocking their world.
That was some pretty amazing sh*t you did back there, Hoyt.
thanks.
Hey, I noticed you applied that, uh,
That choke hold, though, huh?
I thought that was a no-No procedure, boy.
I was getting my ass kicked.
And you did what you had to do, right?
You did what you had to do.
That's right.
That's what a wolf does. You a wolf?
Heh heh heh. Come on, wolf!
come on, dog.
Heh heh. No, I said a wolf, not a rooster!
A wolf.
That's a rooster. Give me a wolf.
f*ck this, man! Give me that beer.
Alright, there you go. That's my niggah.
You got the magic eye, Hoyt.
You have the magic eye!
You up your street IQ,
You going to do some damage out here, I guarantee.
Crime fighter.
What you need, homey?
Uh, cr*ck. About 20 bucks worth.
cr*ck?! Yeah.
Smell like bacon in this m*therf*cker.
What, I look like a sucker to you, niggah?!
f*ck you, rookie!
Go on, fetch, dog.
You want me to...
come on, man!
sh*t!
Yo!
Yo, give me a break, man! Hey! Yo! Slow up!
Excuse me.
Come on, buddy, stop. I'm a police officer.
Police officer! Stop!
Come on, man, give me a break, all right? sh*t!
you get out. You don't look at my things.
Get out of here, or I call police!
Police officer, ma'am. Calm down.
Yo, man, I said stop, all right?!
I said stop!
You're making this so much harder. All right.
Just calm down. Calm down!
You love this sh*t, huh?
hey, man...
Pick him up.
Civil rights violating m*therf*ckers!
Watch his legs. Watch his legs.
f*ck!
You f*cked with my legs, man!
Pick his legs up, man. Pick his legs up.
You m*therf*ckers have got nothing better to do
Than f*ck with me, man?! sh*t!
Alright, who you working for?
f*ck, man, you know I don't work for nobody.
I'm on disability, man, sh*t!
That's bullshit. You're cracking and you know it.
Man, I don't sell that sh*t no more. You know that.
No rocks?
No rocks, man, but I found this.
Oh, no, you don't.
Man, that isn't mine, man. That m*therf*cker
Planted that sh*t on me, man.
Put me in the front seat with him,
And I bet I whup his ass!
Yeah.
Who you working for?
I told you I don't work for nobody, man.
Why the f*ck is y'all sweating me
Any-m*therf*cking-Way, man?
Where the rocks at?
I haven't got nothing on me. I gave it up, dog.
Where the rocks at?
Open your mouth.
What is you, a doctor now?
I'm a dentist. Open your mouth.
Lift up your tongue.
I haven't got sh*t.
Your partner already done searched me. I'm straight.
Yeah, OK. You got a pen?
You got a writing pen?
I didn't even see the m*therf*cker coming.
You haven't got nothing in there, right?
Huh?
Nothing, man!
You haven't got nothing, huh?
God!
Damn!
Now what is that?
m*therf*cking cr*ck, man.
That's right, jimmy cr*ck corn.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...
Oh, you're federally f*cked now.
You got cr*ck...
And a g*n.
Now you know with your record, you can get 10 years per b*llet?
Do you know that? Man!
Now you're going to give me a name, now.
That's 10 right there, dog.
Come on, man, you know I am no snitch.
I know you are no snitch.
Give me a name.
f*ck!
That's 20. Give me a name.
That's 30 years.
You want to go to jail, or you want to go home?
He in the county, man!
Who?
This niggah named sandman.
That's all the f*ck I know, man. sh*t!
Sandman?
Sandman!
See how easy that was?
Unhook him.
I'm sick of this sh*t, man!
Want to collect the evidence?
f*ck that, man.
my niggah.
it's bob.
good afternoon, bob. Yeah, yeah, it's Alonzo.
Hey, listen, you got your g*ng book?
yeah, what do you need?
Yeah, I need a res on a sandman.
Uh-Huh.
Yeah, with the mobsters. He may be in custody.
OK, hold on. I'll check it out for you.
Yeah, no problem. I'll hold on.
That stuff doesn't fly anymore, man,
Shoving a pen down.
I mean, what if that guy complains?
To who?...yeah...
23130 113th street.
Kevin miller, AKA Sandman, got it?
I like my badge.
Yeah, I got it. I know where it is.
Out there by, uh, imperial courts.
exactly, uh-Huh.
Right, OK. Thanks a lot.
No problem.
We go after sandman?
We go after the sandman.
What, are you opening a circuit city?
Nah, it's unclaimed sh*t from property.
Hand it out to my C.I.S, witnesses, victims.
Try to help them out with their families.
Here, put this on.
Come on, let's go.
Now listen, intel says that she lives here alone.
She got 2 female juveniles,
One possible male juvenile.
Well, if he's not here, why are we here?
We're here to serve this warrant.
come on, man.
We can't do that.
Hell, yeah, we can. We the police.
We can do the f*ck we want to do.
Why don't we just get a real warrant.
Listen, we're trying to get sh*t done, all right?
Just stand over there and don't get me k*lled,
All right, new guy?
Police, we got a search warrant.
LAPD., open up.
Kevin isn't here. He at the honor ranch.
OK, just open the door.
We don't want to have to kick it in, now.
Kevin isn't here. He up at the honor ranch.
Open the door, ma'am.
We don't want to have to knock the door down.
he isn't even here.
I said Kevin at the honor ranch,
He isn't even over here.
Right. We got a search warrant.
Unlock the door, please, ma'am.
damn!
Is nobody here!
Get your big ass down!
Right down! Down! Get down!
Don't move! Spread them out!
Don't move!
Anybody in the house?
is anybody in the house?
My nephew Dimitri,
He's in the bedroom. He's 10 years old.
OK, OK.
All right, I'm going to clear the house,
Check her for weapons.
Kitchen's clear.
Dimitri?
Yeah?
Put your hands up, son. Put them up! Put them up!
Anybody else in there?
No.
You sure? Yeah.
OK, just stay right there, right there, right there.
Don't move. Don't you move.
OK, stand up.
Stand up.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
Sit down and place them on your knees.
Just sit down, OK?
We're the good guys, you got nothing to worry about.
You just take a seat right over there,
Next to your auntie.
Right over there, son.
Right there. Right over in there.
House is code 4.
I'm going to start the search.
I want to see that warrant.
My what?
I want to see the warrant.
You... You're supposed to give me a copy.
Yeah, well, my partner has it.
He'll be out with it in a second.
Where the f*ck is your back-Up?
Ma'am, do me a favor, and just be quiet
Until we're through with our investigation.
Well, you got the g*n, don't you, boss?
That's right, I do.
Punk-Ass, bitch-Ass, crooked-Ass cop.
OK.
You're a rookie.
Give me a break, OK.
Dimitri, how you doing over there, huh?
You cool? You cool? Come on.
All right, don't worry about it,
You're cool. Just stay cool.
Great.
Ma'am, please stay seated!
You come up here like
You pay the rent, m*therf*cker.
Sit down! And you all stink!
You got to get liquored up
To do your business up in here!
All right, sit down, now!
You going to sh**t me, boss?
Dimitri, close your eyes.
The punk-Ass cop is going to sh**t me!
Sit down, right now!
OK, OK, OK. Everything is fine.
We made a mistake.
Didn't find a damn thing. I'm very sorry. And, uh,
Thanks for your cooperation. Let's go.
I want to see that warrant!
What?
I want to see that god damn warrant.
Here you go.
Let's go.
You m*therf*ckers!
Hey, jackers!
Listen, you better give me
My f*cking money back, m*therf*cker.
You are no police!
f*ck you! Give me my f*cking money back!
Hey, jackers, what y'all sitting over there
Looking pretty for?!
Blast them fools!
Give me my money back, m*therf*ckers!
You are no police!
Start, you m*therf*cker.
f*ck! g*n!
sh*t, man, just get the f*ck out of here!
Calm the f*ck down, OK? Just stay in the car.
Yeah, m*therf*cker!
god damn it, man,
That was not cool, all right? That was not cool at all,
Where you're opening fire in the middle of a neighborhood.
sh*t, man, where was the sandman, huh?
I mean, what the hell were you doing back there?
I was checking for narcotics activity, you know,
dr*gs, g*ns, baggies, you know.
Yeah, cash!
Speak on it, son.
Man, she's screaming about money, all right.
Oh, that bitch is talking sh*t!
She's screaming about trying to get us k*lled.
Whatever, all right, man?
I'm going to be on the 6:00 news
In an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs
Because of you, OK, man.
With the scandals and what not,
It is open season on misconduct.
They will nail us to the wall.
Pull over.
Pull over.
On the highway? Pull over.
sh*t!
What?
Listen,
You're in a privileged position to learn a thing or two.
Keep your mouth shut and your eyes open.
You say you're serious
About doing some good in the real world,
Well, this is the place to learn.
But if this kind of sh*t shakes you up,
Maybe you ought to go back to your division, you know?
Cry to the watch commander
To give you a nice job lighting flares
Or measuring car wrecks.
You got to decide whether you're a wolf...
Or a sheep.
Get your ink
Or...
Go give him a hand.
what are we doing going in here, man?
We'll get k*lled coming in here.
Ah, you know about this place, huh?
Yeah, it's the jungle, right?
That's right.
They say don't come in here
With anything less than a platoon.
That's right.
That's the heart of it, right here.
Jungle Damu headquarters.
Stoners...
Yeah, a lot of m*rder investigations
Lead right here.
One way in, one way out.
Thought we were going to get something to eat?
Hey, don't ever come up here without me,
You hear me?
I'm serious. For your safety.
How come you got the golden pass?
Because I treat them fair.
They know if they cross the line,
I'm taxing that ass.
What's that up there?
They're flipping pigeons.
They want to let everybody know I'm here.
One time, what's up, bone?
What's up, Alonzo?
What's happening with you, Damu?
It's all good, it's all good.
I just want to tell you, man, I appreciate
What you did for my nephew.
That's some real sh*t.
For sure. For sure.
Heh. You better call me.
Man, I'm sick of this sh*t, man.
I can't stand that m*therf*cker.
Who are they?
Nobody. Some buster-Ass niggahs.
I got them all under my thumb.
What's up, Alonzo?
All right, spider. What's happening?
What's happening, dog?
Alright.
Hey, what's up, girl? Look at you.
Hi, Alonzo.
Go ahead.
All that jelly and no toast.
Who lives here?
Just one of my lovelies. You know, one of my dimes.
A loving touch, you know. Don't worry about it.
Policia. Policia, senorita.
Papi.
Ah, mami.
Ooh...
New guy. Jake.
Hi.
Hi. Jake.
Nice to meet you.
Come in. Welcome to my house.
Yeah, yeah, hook him up with some food.
You know, take care of him?
Yeah, of course.
Huh?
All right.
Of course.
How are you?
Good, good.
Good.
I have cable.
You watch whatever you want, OK?
All right, thanks.
This is your house.
I'll be right back.
How you doing?
Fine.
OK.
Now this...
Is all El Salvadorian food.
Thank you. It looks great.
I have to go.
Yeah...all right.
Let's go.
We got a meeting in 15 minutes.
Yeah, I just need to...
Forget that. Let's go.
I'll see you, buddy.
??Como esta, mijo?
??Te portas bien?
Si.
??Si?
Esta...
Creciendo, papasito.
Creciendo.
You OK?
Si.
OK.
Here, use this.
Who's here?
LAPD.'S finest.
Don't speak unless you're spoken to.
Come on.
Good to see you, gents.
That's my new guy. He works on my squad.
Jake Hoyt. Captain Lou Jacobs.
You ever need to talk to the feds,
You talk to him first. This is a good man.
He can take your back for you.
Pleased to meet you, sir.
Stan Gursky over here...
He runs the DA. sh**ting team.
You think about him before you pull the trigger,
Because if you're wrong,
He'll snatch your f*cking nuts out, use them for dice.
Detective Doug Rosselli right here...
Handles high-Dollar theft cases
For the French poodle crowd.
You know, if you lose a Picasso,
He'll find it for you or die trying.
He's a good man.
Pleased to meet you.
Good man.
Should I...
Boom. Shoo.
Get yourself a baseball steak or something.
All right, gents.
I don't know why I'm meeting you.
I don't talk to dead men.
I am not dead yet.
f*cking prick.
Excuse me.
Why the long face, Doug, huh?
Feds seize your house or something?
f*ck yourself, Alonzo.
tell him the story.
Come on, tell the story.
Oh, you think it's so funny, you tell it.
No, no. It's your story. You tell it.
assh*le.
all right, all right, all right.
There's this... serial burglar, and, uh,
Chasing him for 12 months.
A real slickster, gave up nothing.
Captain's riding my ass the entire time.
Sentencing was today.
judge is female.
That's right. Landers.
Yeah, I know Landers. She's a sharp lady.
No?
so before the hearing,
Guy gets hold of some peanut butter,
Packs his ass cr*ck with it...
What?
Then he's standing tall before the bench,
And he's waiting to give his statement.
So he shoves his hand down his pants,
Comes out with a gob of extra-Chunky Jif.
Bailiffs won't come near him.
Now he's... Now he's looking the judge right in the eyes
And licks his fingers clean.
Holy sh*t.
So the judge says, uh,
"Oh, this poor man's insane. He can't go to prison."
Orders him to psychiatric.
She fell for it.
Yeah. That's because she's so f*cking smart.
Time she found out it was sandwich spread,
The order was signed, the guy's been transferred.
Proceedings closed.
Yeah, closed.
That prick will do 6 months in the puzzle factory,
Then they'll call him normal and let him loose.
Never, ever do a day in prison.
Yeah, give him credit, though.
sh*t, he worked the system,
Deserves his freedom.
Yeah? Think so?
Or not.
I'll tell you what.
I'm going to find this guy on the street...
And I'm going to do him.
You better take his b*ll*ts from him, Stan.
sh*t.
ahh...
Alonzo...
Heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas.
How did you ever screw up so bad?
Nothing. It's nothing. Forget it.
You know, I didn't know. It's not my town.
I'm not omniscient.
The Russians don't care if you have a badge.
They'll whack you.
You ought to hop a jet out of here.
Why?
It's an easy fix.
How?
I'll just cash in an account.
oh, yeah? Yeah.
Whose?
One of my old ones. My first one.
It's not a problem. Look, the guy's
A high-Security risk anyway.
If I'm not around, who's going to keep him
Off the radar, you?
I'm just taxing him, that's all.
OK?
Well, it's your call.
I do not want you to d*ck this up.
I do not want to see you on the front page
Like those other assholes.
Yeah, I understand.
Who's driving?
Uh, me.
Grey Mercedes.
OK.
Get the car.
All right. All right.
Uh, what, the black Monte Carlo there
With the back windows sh*t out.
hey, yeah, it's me.
Listen, we got the green light.
Right. That's right.
I want you to fax a copy of the warrant
To the clerk, get her to get the judge
To sign it, and I want you and Paul
To bring it to me at location one.
You got that? Now, get a hold of Jeff,
Tell him to pick up some tools...
Picks and shovels.
Make sure he signs them out from maintenance.
That's right. Copy?
That's right. All right, hurry up.
Later.
So how much cash was in that jacket?
40 gs.
What's... What's that for?
You really want to know?
Yeah, I really want to know.
Yeah...
There's nothing free in this world, Jake.
Not even arrest warrants.
sh*t, man. I didn't want to know.
Yo, homes. Check this m*therf*cker out.
Nice suit, mark.
beautiful suit.
yeah, f*ck you guys.
All right. Nice, nice, nice.
What's up, Alonzo?
You got the picks and shovels?
They're in the truck.
You're going to dig a ditch?
No, you are.
That's a nice suit you got on there.
that's what I said.
What up, k*ller?
I can't call it. What's up with you?
I've been hearing a lot of sh*t
Out here on these streets, man. You all right?
It's all good. I talked to the 3 wise men.
Everything is lovely.
sh*t, if you say we can get away with it,
I'm with you. Know what I'm saying?
Who the f*ck is this?
Jake Hoyt. It's my first day in the unit.
I'm from valley patrol.
You a long way from Starbucks, homey.
Now, why the f*ck is he in on this?
Got to get his cherry popped sometime.
Look, man, stay the f*ck out of my way, all right?
It's just for the big dogs. Feel me?
Here it is, dog.
It's all good and legit.
Signed by the judge, OK?
Thanks to the sandman. Now listen up.
Safety is first.
He gives us sh*t... Boom, we're giving him lead.
Let's do this right so we can all go home
And do the wife or the girlfriend thing,
All right?
Let's suit up, ladies. Time to punch in.
Freeze up!
Down on the floor! Get down, m*therf*cker!
What are you clowns doing here?
hey, new guy, watch him.
If he moves, cap his ass!
Yeah, I'm on him.
Do you know what you're doing, son?
drop what's in your hands before zero.
5...
4, 3, 2...
boom.
Give me a reason.
Alonzo's going to have y'all's ass.
What's up, roger?
What's going down, brother?
Oh, it's all good, baby.
It's all good.
That's for you.
What am I supposed to do with this, wipe my ass?
Bad news, dog.
You don't mind if I have some of
Your $300-A-Glass sh*t there, will you?
Please.
Had lunch with the wise men today.
They said you got to render unto Caesar.
f*cking vampires want my pension?
Nah, it's nothing like that.
Ahh...
Hmm.
They just want to tax you a little bit.
You know, they got their boats
And mistresses and, you know,
House payments.
Nothing I can do about it, you know?
They're making me do it.
I'm just a lowly civil servant.
ahh, you're their bitch.
What happens to me?
I got your back, bro.
I promised you you'd never have to
Go back to prison.
You aren't even going to miss what we take.
I'm sorry. Orders is orders, dog.
No you aren't, cop.
Tim, Jeff, Jake,
We're going to work in the kitchen.
Grab the tools. Give me the bitch.
You guys hold him down.
Who's paying for my floor?
The city.
Right here.
Ow!
That's it. That's what I'm talking about.
What's in here, coke?
Don't worry about it. You'll see.
Hey, grab that hammer right there.
Knock this lock off.
Yeah. 1, 2...
sh*t...
That's a quarter million dollars you holding
Right there in your hand.
Over 4 million in here.
First day on the job,
You hit a $3 million seizure.
Wait, you said 4.
Ah, taxation without representation, brother.
Nothing is free in this world,
You lucky first-Day m*therf*cker.
Buy your wife a minivan with that.
Put the kids through college.
Give me that bag.
No, you know.
I mean, the only checks I cash say, uh,
"LAPD." On them, right?
Somebody didn't sleep through ethics, did they?
what's the matter?
You don't want a piece of this, huh?
Well, I...
No, right?
Not like this. I mean...no.
No?
right, right, OK.
First time. You're not comfortable.
I'll hold it for you, OK?
What about you, are you comfortable?
Oh, I'm comfortable.
How's your comfort level?
I'm very comfortable.
come on, let's wrap this up.
Uh, I...
Don't touch a thing.
Evidence.
That's it.
Alonzo, what are those assholes thinking?
That I'm really going to stand still
And let them horsefuck me?
Could put you out of your misery.
Hey, Jake, here.
Hey, come sit down. Sit down. Right here.
I'll tell you a secret.
When you k*ll someone on duty...
They have to be your sl*ve...
In the afterlife.
there you go.
Start an entourage.
What, you want me to sh**t him?
Yeah.
Come on, kid. Do me a favor.
Come on.
Do yourself a favor. Hit him.
Are you serious?
Hey, close the blinds.
All right, I'll... I'll sh**t him.
Go.
Pow! Boom!
sh**t him.
No, man. I'm...
Youngsters these days, huh?
You're not going to sh**t him?
No, man. All right,
Give it to me.
Rookies.
Yeah, you want to get sh*t done,
You got to get it done yourself.
Holy sh*t!
Come on, breathe.
Breathe. There you go.
Just let it go.
Breathe, dog.
Yeah, he's finished.
Where's the stinger?
It's right here.
All right, Jeff.
You took fire coming through the door.
I need some time off, but...
OK, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, OK?
Watch the shades.
All right.
OK.
All right, you ready?
Kiss me, baby. One...
Oh!
yeah?
You all right?
Yeah.
I got to give you one more, though.
Do it.
Ah, f*ck!
All right, listen. It's not what you know,
It's what you can prove. OK, here's the scenario.
Mark and Paul, you kicked the door.
Jeff's the first one through.
Roger opens fire... Hits Jeff twice, right?
f*ck.
What's the matter, one go through?
sh*t!
Yeah, man. You sh*t him.
You f*cking sh*t me, man!
All right, all right.
You'll get a medal. Don't worry about it.
Get me an ambulance!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
You want to go to jail or you want to go home?
All right, here's the scenario, all right?
Let me quarterback this thing.
Mark, Paul, you kicked the door in.
Jeff's the first one through.
Roger opens fire... Bang, bang.
Hits Jeff twice.
Our new guy, Hoyt,
He's in second,
Drops roger with some fine shotgun work.
Who sh*t roger?
New guy... Came in spraying.
Paul? Boot sh*t him.
What did you guys see?
Hoyt blasted him.
Yeah, f*ck Hoyt, OK? Ambulance time.
Done. Paul, call them up.
11-49-9-9-8. sh*ts fired.
Officer down. Repeat, officer down.
5951 Baxter street.
Congratulations, son.
You're going to get a medal of valor for this.
I didn't sh**t him.
A roomful of cops said you did.
But I didn't.
You did.
A Los Angles police department
Narcotics officer was k*lled today
Serving a high-Risk warrant in echo park.
Give me the bitch.
LAPD. Spokesperson
Said the officer
Is survived...
By his wife and infant child.
sh*t gets deeper.
You get the picture?
Yeah, I got the picture.
Hey, hey, hey!
That is the second time you pointed a g*n at me!
There will not be a third.
God damn, boy!
That's what I'm talking about, Jake.
My niggah. Are you all watching this? That's it.
It'd be my pleasure to put a hydra shock in that melon.
Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
no, but I'm going to be cool.
Now drop the f*cking g*n now!
You want to sh**t me, Paul, go ahead,
But I'm taking him with me.
I'm going, Alonzo.
This m*therf*cker is a fed, man.
No, he is no fed. He's just a choir boy
With a heart that got the drop on all you fools.
Listen, everybody just take a deep breath,
And just diffuse this thing. You hear me, Jake?
You can't pull this sh*t on me, man.
I didn't sign up for this.
OK, OK. I know you're angry.
Everybody, just put your g*ns down.
Hell, no.
no, no, no, no...
Choir boy first.
Hey, listen to me. Put the g*ns down!
That's an order. Put them down!
Use your ears and you hear me, Jake.
Sometime we got to take this sh*t all the way.
It's not like we do this every day, all right?
It's just the nature of the business.
Now, no one will ever ask you again
To pull the trigger if you don't want to, all right?
Hey, mark, where are you transferring to?
S.I.S.
S.I.S. Detective.
You give me 18 months,
I give you a career.
We make the big seizures, Jake.
We make the big arrests.
But if you're in my unit,
You got to be in it all the way
Or not at all, you understand me?
I mean, I thought you were man enough
To handle this sh*t. I guess I was wrong.
5 proven, decorated officers
Says that you're the sh**t, OK?
The investigators are going to want to pull...
... a tube of your blood to check for intoxicants.
What are they going to find, Jake? Do the math.
You been smoking P.C.P. All day, haven't you?
Huh? Remember?
You've been planning this all day.
I've been planning it all week, son.
You talk that crazy sh*t, I'll make sure your blood
Gets to the lab.
You want to walk your little baby nuts around the block,
You won't make it to the corner,
But if you're cool... If you're cool...
You're a hero.
You're a virgin sh**t above suspicion.
Alonzo, there's 2 sh*ts left
In that other stinger.
We need to just k*ll your boy right now,
And say roger got him coming through the door.
No, we are k*lling nobody.
This is a good man right here.
He's got the magic eye. I can feel it.
Just had a little freak out, that's all.
We all been there.
No, I say he's cool.
And I say nobody is going to hurt him.
But you do have a decision to make, Jake.
because in about 10 seconds,
This place is going to be overrun with blue suits.
So why don't you please go outside,
Clear your head...
Or sh**t me.
hey, Paul.
You're dead, m*therf*cker!
You hear me? You're f*cking dead!
Yeah.
Ha, that's right. Well, lay off that rice.
All right.
Yeah, just make sure that bathtub is clean, homey.
All right?
All right. Later.
You all right?
It behooves you not to d*ck around
On this one.
Justifiable homicide in the line of duty, OK?
Now what happened...
What happened was m*rder...
And armed robbery.
Oh, wait. We... We had badges, so it's different?
Oh, son, open your eyes. Can't you see? Huh?
That man was your friend,
And you k*lled him like a fly.
come on. My friend, huh?
Yeah. Tell me why.
Because he knows my first name?
Son, this is the game. I'm playing his ass.
That's my job. That's your job.
Roger sold dope to kids.
The world is a better place without him.
Hey, this man was the biggest major violator
In Los Angles.
I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity
For over 10 years, and now I got him.
This sh*t is chess. It isn't checkers.
What you think we going to do?
We going to... We going to roll up in a black-And-White, huh?
Slap the cuffs on him. "You're under arrest."
That's a high roller, dog.
Take the money.
Hey, man, I already told you, I'm not going to take that.
I'm not going to take that.
OK, don't. Just burn it, barbecue it,
Fish fry it. I don't give a f*ck,
But the boys will feel better about it.
f*ck their feelings.
Jake, you're not making them feel
Like you're part of the team.
The team?
You guys are f*cking insane.
All right. I'll go back to the valley.
I'll cut parking tickets, you know?
God.
It... It can't be like this.
It is this way, man.
I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is.
It's ugly, but it's necessary.
I became a cop to put away drug dealers,
The poisoners, the criminals, not to be one.
You sound just like me,
And I know what you're going through.
I know what you're feeling.
You're scared.
I'm not scared.
Yes, you are. You're terrified.
Everybody goes through that the first time.
I went through it.
The sooner you can match what's in your head
With what's going on in the real world,
The better you're going to feel.
In this business,
You got to have a little dirt on you
For anybody to trust you,
And when all this is behind you,
There's going to be a whole other world
That opens up for you.
I walk a higher path, son.
I can give you the keys to all the doors.
What are you talking about?
My guys are pretty good, but they're not leaders.
They're clowns. You're a leader.
You want my job? You got it.
You want to lock up poisoners?
This is the best place to do it.
But you got to just, you know, take your time.
You make detective. You play the game.
You grow wise, and then you can change things,
But you got to change them from the inside, son.
Let's go downtown to the station.
You talk to my guy Stan,
And he'll walk you through
What you got to say to the DA. Guys, OK?
OK.
What the hell we doing now?
An informant of mine is up in chino.
I promised I'd take care of his family for him.
I bring them some food, you know, stuff like that.
Got to help out the family.
Believe it or not,
I do try to do some good in the community.
It was, like, right there, right?
Just right there.
What's up, dog?
You know where you're at, fool?
What the f*ck you looking at?
All right.
What's up, punk?
hey, we got some things for the family.
Kitchen's this way.
we're on every day.
every day?
OK, tell us a little bit about that touring thing
With divas of dance 2000. That sounds exciting.
put the sh*t on the counter.
where's the head?
right through.
so you're happy?
oh, yes!
Now for example...
I'm going to go to the head, OK?
I'm going to be 2 seconds. We rolling.
Hey, that's nice, homes.
Let me get the CD player, eh?
You get the blender. CD player's mine.
Dreamer, get your ass in here!
Count that sh*t in the bedroom, huh?
Thanks a lot, eh. I was doing stuff, you know?
Better learn how to count, f*cking math whiz.
yeah.
You looked at them.
No, I didn't. Now what?
You calling me a f*cking cheater, Tse, or what?
Deal again, huh, sn*per.
Dama.
You play cards, cop?
Uh, nah, not really.
Hey, you want a beer, homes?
Something to drink? Have a cold one.
Eh, no, thanks. I'm good.
come on, sit down, eh,
Play a card game with us.
don't be rude, Tse.
You're the invited guest.
Why don't you sit down and play one hand?
There you go.
Don't sweat it, judo.
We aren't playing for money.
Nah. It's just we got to roll in a second.
Alonzo's taking a sh*t. Go ahead. Take a seat.
All right, I'll play one hand.
What do you guys got going on here, 5 card draw?
yeah, jokers are wild.
Jokers wild.
Hey, so, um, why don't you tell us something, homes.
How long you been a pig?
I'm... My bad, my bad.
I meant... I meant... I meant a police officer.
That's what I meant.
I been a pig for 19 months.
Is that right?
That's right.
And you like it or what?
I should have been a fireman.
I need one more.
What you got, dog?
3 of a kind, 3 jacks.
Ahh, chingo. Didn't get sh*t.
Pujo, baby! Whoo!
2 pair!
What the f*ck are you doing, sn*per?
Porca won.
Smiley, homes, I got 2 pair, eh!
3 of a kind beats 2 pair,
You f*cking dumb truck.
Serio?
serios, Tse.
Hey, you're f*cking stupid, Tse.
Why don't you take your medication
Or something, homes. Seriously, eh.
I know I'm number one.
See why we don't play for money, homes?
because of this Vato, eh.
Hey, that's nice, eh. Let me see your Cohete there.
What?
Your g*n, homes, underneath your shirt.
Let him see it.
no, that's all right, man.
Come on, man. What is it, like, a .380 stainless?
9 millimeter Beretta.
Like... Like this one here?
Just like that one.
is that right?
But see, here's where the problem comes into play.
I seen this one. I want to see yours.
Come on, Tse. I am going to sh**t nobody.
Ha ha, qu? No.
Come on, homes.
Let me check it out, eh?
Qu? No.
Whoo! Damn!
You learn that in the academy or what?
yeah, man.
It's a neat little trick.
This is nice, homes. Nice right here.
f*ck Vato up with this, huh, qu? No?
Hell, yeah, homes.
You know what you do is you aim...
Kind of like that.
Ahh, ha ha!
I just playing with you, dog.
Yeah, right. I got to go.
Yo, Alonzo!
Let me see that.
kick back and party, eh?
There is nothing out there for you.
What are you talking about?
hey, white boy...
You ask me, homes...
But that's just, of course, if you ask...
I think Alonzo played you for a fool, Tse.
big time, homes.
Wait, where you going? Where you going? Huh?
It's your deal.
it's all there.
sure?
If you don't believe me, you can count it yourself.
Alonzo pulled off a miracle, eh?
Times are tight.
Scared up a lot of cash.
Who did he jack, homes?
I don't know.
He jacked roger.
Blasted the fool, huh?
Alonzo, homes, I think he's a low-Down, dirty,
Ruthless Vato, eh, but I like that, homes.
I like that.
no, that's why I never shake his hand, homes.
He don't respect nada.
You know what the money's for?
Alonzo, he's a hothead.
Last week in Vegas,
Some Russian starts talking sh*t,
And Alonzo, he just snapped.
b*at his ass to death.
Well, turns out that Russian...
He's a somebody.
Now, Alonzo...
He's into the Russians for a million.
How do you know that?
They gave Alonzo till tonight to pay up,
But his name's still on their list, huh?
Nobody thought he could get cash that big.
Good thing he got his blood money,
because there's a crew on standby.
If he don't turn up downtown with the cash
By midnight, and not a minute after...
Whew, your Vato...
He's dead.
Hey, pig, you ever had your sh*t pushed in?
Your sh*t pushed in?
Simple question.
Nah? No.
I had my sh*t pushed in.
Yeah, man, I had my sh*t pushed in, bro...
Big time!
smiley?
Sure, I'm always getting love from the homeys.
hit them!
Damn, you guys f*cked him up, eh?
Get the girls next door.
Dreamer, get the f*ck out of here!
Oh!
You f*cked up.
You're under arrest, bitch...
For being a judo, cop,
And dogging me in the mouth
In my own pad.
You got the right to be bitch-Slapped,
You little m*therf*cker!
Aah!
Drag his ass in the tub.
m*therf*cker!
Come on, raid his ass!
Ahh, sh*t!
God!
Aah!
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
Aah! Aah! Help!
Help! Help! Help!
Aah. Aah. sh*t.
Aah! do it, eh?
close the door. It's going to be loud.
Hey, smiley. Back up, Tse out of.
Let me get his money first, OK?
Hold off, Tse.
Come on. Hurry up.
Hey, smiley. You going to trip out, homes.
Is that your little cousin or what, eh?
Where would you get this?
Oh, f*ck! I found it!
Alonzo give it to you?
I found it!
Where?
I found it in MacArthur park!
where?
MacArthur park.
No, homes.
You f*cked up.
Hey, wait up, Tse out of. I can't even see, homes.
aah! Please!
shut the f*ck up!
If you're religious,
Go ahead and get in your last prayer.
Listen to me, man. Listen to me.
That girl was being r*ped, all right?
I saw these 2 f*cking drug addicts
Attacking her, and I stopped them, man!
What?
I swear to god! I stopped them!
You're lying to me.
I'm not lying!
You're lying to me!
I swear to god!
She was being r*ped! All right,
And I stopped them! Oh, please, man!
I got a little kid.
Shut the f*ck up, f*gg*t!
Blast his ass, homes.
I have a little girl!
do it, eh.
I'm going to get to the bottom of your bullshit.
She's my cousin, homes. She's a civilian.
Is not right involving her.
You just f*cked up.
You're lying to me,
I'm going to blow your f*cking balls off.
hello.
Hey, what's up, Letty? What you doing?
Hey, smiley. Just, uh, doing homework.
You want to talk to Tony?
Oh, no, no. I want to talk to you.
Uh, you go to school today?
Yep...yep.
All day. You didn't ditch?
No. No. I want to every class. Why?
I heard different.
nuh-Uh.
Cops talk to you today?
Um...
No...no.
All right, Letty, tell me what happened,
OK? Don't bullshit me.
Um, all right.
I got jumped by these 2 crackheads today.
You got jumped, huh?
Well, I think they wanted to, like,
r*pe me or something. I don't know.
I mean, he just slapped me around and everything,
But nothing happened, OK, because this cop came.
I mean, he came out of nowhere,
And they almost k*lled him, though,
But he kicked their asses like that.
This cop, what would he look like?
Um, he was a white boy,
And he looked real young, too.
You sure you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing happened.
Hey, Letty. Yeah.
We're going to talk more about this later.
OK. All right.
What's up? What happened?
Aren't you going to blast him or what, homes?
Vato was telling the truth.
Life's a trip, qu? No?
This is some trippy-Ass sh*t, homes.
Hey.
Thanks for getting my cousin's back, huh?
Here, put this on your head.
You'll mess up my floor.
You know this sh*t was just business, right?
right?
Right.
what you doing on the block, rookie?
You know you don't belong around here.
what's up?
must be lost, m*therf*cker.
You got business here, rookie?
I'm here for Alonzo.
Hey. Is your dad home?
In the bedroom.
He's in the bedroom? All right, all right.
You want to open up the door?
OK.
Thanks. You watching TV?
Anything good on?
Do you want me to call my mom?
No, I don't.
I'll tell you what I want.
I want you to find a good hiding spot.
Do you have a favorite one, a favorite place to hide?
The closet.
Right here in the closet? That's perfect.
OK, open up the closet.
All right. Good, good.
Can you sit down in there?
All right. Now stay in here.
Be very quiet. I'll be right back.
All right?
it's all good, baby.
all right.
You, against the wall. Move real slow.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
I want you to put that money in that bag,
Take your weapons
And place them inside that pillowcase right there.
Congratulations, son.
You made it.
You passed the test. You're a narc. You're in.
Please, put the g*n down
Before you give my girl a heart att*ck here.
Put the g*n down.
I said take the money and put it in that bag,
Take your weapons
And place them inside that pillowcase.
You can f*ck your appointment
With the Russians.
You're not going to make it.
Ohh, OK.
OK. Hand me the pillowcase, baby.
Baby! Hand me the pillowcase.
So you're going to hook me and book me, huh?
You're the one that was smoking the dust, Jake,
You're the one that ran out like a maniac,
And you're the one that sh*t roger.
Here you go.
And how about the one on your ankle?
You want the one in my back pocket, too?
Yeah, I would.
You got one problem, though, Jake.
You got no witnesses.
Who're your f*cking witnesses, huh?
Roger? Smiley?
You think my troops are going to help you?
It's not what you know.
It's what you can prove.
Here.
What can you prove, huh?
Nothing. Where's your evidence, huh?
It's right there.
Oh, sh*t.
aw, it's on now, Jake.
Don't move.
Where you at, Jake?
Damn.
Come on out, dog!
Ah! I see you.
Oh, sh*t.
Ha ha ha ha.
you know, I'm surgical
With this bitch, Jake.
How you want it, dog, huh?
Closed casket?
You remember that fool in the wheelchair?
How you think he got there?
mommy.
Alonzito!
You see what I see, Jake?
Officer Hoyt.
Job number one: preserve life.
There's my son.
Don't hurt him.
We walking out of here together, mijo.
no.
no, mijo, es El cucuy.
no! Alonzito!
Alonzito!
You all right?
I want my mommy.
I know. I know. I know.
Just sit tight, all right?
It's going to be all right.
Ohh, god!
All right, let me see your hands. Where is he?
The window.
Come on, come on, come on! Get your kid and stay down.
Alonzito!
Jesus.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Uhh! Aah!
Ohh!
hey, man, dude's over here tripping, in blood?
It's no fun when the rabbit has the g*n, is it?
My niggah.
Hey...
First Damu puts one in his head...
I make you a rich man.
Come on, now... who want to get paid?
Who want to get paid?!
they're not like you.
You know what I learned today?
I'm not like you.
That's good, Jake.
I'm glad to hear that.
Good.
What now?
Huh?
What you going to do? You going to sh**t me?
You going to bust your cherry k*lling a cop?
There it is, Jake.
Hit me.
You have never k*lled nobody before, have you?
It isn't like stepping on ants, Jake.
Takes a man to k*ll.
You man enough to k*ll, Jake?
Hit me right there.
k*ll me, Jake. k*ll me.
Hit me. Hit me.
You can't do it.
Somebody drop this fool for me.
You got us twisted, homey.
You got to put your own work in around here.
Alright.
It's like that, bone?
It's like that.
Player to player...
Pimp to pimp.
I don't believe you sh**t me, niggah.
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
Nah, I don't believe you got it in you, Jake.
Ah, sh*t.
I'm going to get that g*n...
And then I'm going to get that money.
And you aren't going to do a damn thing
because you aren't going to sh**t no cop in the back,
Are you?
Don't do it. You know what
They give you for that?
The gas chamber.
You know what the gas chamber smells like?
Pine oil.
That's where you headed, boy...
To pine oil heaven.
I'm going to get that g*n,
And then I'm going to get that money.
I don't believe you got it in you, Jake.
I'm going to go get it right now.
Aah! Oh!
sh*t!
Aaahhhh...
You m*therf*cker!
The next one will k*ll you.
Ohhh! Son of a bitch!
You sh*t me in the ass!
OK. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. OK. OK.
OK. All right, listen.
Come on, Jake, I need the money.
Give me the money, Jake.
Give me the money, please, Jake. Give me that money!
It's not going to happen.
Oh, you... You going to jack me now?
You going to take my own money from me? Huh?
I told you, that's my evidence.
You want to go to jail or you want to go home?
I want to go home, Jake.
Come on. Give me the money and let me go home.
Yeah. You want to go home?
Yeah, let me go home, Jake.
Come on, give me the money and let me go home.
Give me the money and let me go home.
Come on, Jake.
That's right, come on, Jake.
You don't deserve this.
OK.
OK, you m*therf*cker.
Jake.
Go ahead and bounce, homey.
Get up out of here.
We got your back.
what?
It's like that.
oh, no, you didn't.
Wait a minute. No, you di...
Hey! Hey, Jake!
Hey!
Jake!
Jake! Come back here!
Jake!
You disloyal,
Fool-Ass, bitch-Made punk.
Jake!
I need my money!
Jake!
Oh, you m*therf*ckers.
Ha ha ha! OK.
All right.
I'm putting cases on all you b*tches.
Huh? You think you can do this sh*t?
Jake!
You think you can do this to me?!
You m*therf*ckers will be playing basketball
In pelican bay when I get finished with you!
Shoe program, niggah!
23-Hour lock down!
I'm the man up in this place!
You'll never see the light of day!
Who the f*ck do you think you f*cking with?!
I'm the police! I run sh*t here!
You just live here!
Yeah, that's right! You better walk away!
Go on, walk away, because I'm going to burn
This m*therf*cker down!
King Kong has not got sh*t on me!
that's all right.
That's all right.
sh*t. I don't f*ck...
I'm winning anyway.
I'm winning.
I'm winning any m*therf*cking way.
I can't lose.
sh*t. You can sh**t me...
But you can't k*ll me.
sh*t.
Ha!
Oh, what a day.
Ha ha!
What a m*therf*cking day.
Heh. Heh.
Unh!
A Los Angles police department
Narcotics officer was k*lled today
Serving a high-Risk warrant near LAX.
An LAPD. Spokesperson said officer Alonzo Harris
Was survived by his wife and 4 sons.
the highly decorated officer,
A 13-Year LAPD. Veteran...
Uh-Huh.
We wolves, baby. We wolves.
Fire!
Number one.
Training Day (2001)
Moderator: Maskath3
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Random Movies that just don't fit anywhere else yet. Miscellaneous Movie Collection.