03x20 - Katie's College

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Hi, nell. How was night school?


May I have your attention, children?


I have two questions.


Question number one -- what cute, short,


Brilliant night-school student


Just got an "a" plus in english history?


Wow!


You do know that english history is my best subject.


Just filled with love and romance.


I know how every wife of henry viii was butchered.


Well, I love the first question.


What's the second one?


Question number two --


What cute, short, brilliant night-school student


Will be taking night courses at the same college


That katie will be attending next year?


Oh, nell, that's great,


Going from night school and then into college.


First I'm gonna get my b.a., Then my m.a.,


And then an ftd.


You mean phd.


Oh, no, honey -- ftd,


'Cause when I get my master's, I'm sending myself flowers.


[ Laughs ]


Oh, nell, not only are you brilliant.


You are hilarious.


Hey, nell, wait till you see --


Katie's upstairs dressing with her friend rita.


They're gonna show us some fashions they created.


I can't wait to see katie's face


When she finds out we're gonna be coeds.


I wonder what I'm gonna look like in bobby socks, huh?


[ Intro to michael jackson's "thriller" plays ]


You're gonna be the cutest coed on campus next year.


Oh, nell, we designed these clothes


'Cause we plan on selling them.


We're opening a boutique.


Oh, honey, that's wonderful.


Oh, katie, I raised you to be sensible and thoughtful,


And now you're gonna work part-time in a boutique


While you go to college.


You don't understand, nell. I'm not going to college.


I also raised her to have a sense of humor.


[ Laughs ]


You're not going to college? Come here, sweetheart.


Aah! What are you doing?!


Are you going? Are you going?


Yes! Where?


To college. I'm going.


Okay, you can live.


I don't believe you.


Look, I'm not going to college. Say what?


Just control yourself.


Nell, don't blame katie for all this.


Actually, the boutique was my idea.


Your idea? That does it!


No more black friends for you girls.


Now, look, I promised your mother on her deathbed


You were going to college, and you are going to college.


You can't make me feel guilty by bringing mom into this.


What?


Honey, I would never use your mother


To make you feel guilty.


Your poor father -- all the sacrifices he made,


Scrimping and saving just to have enough money


To send you to college.


We got the ice cream!


Carl got the bundle at baskin-robbins.


Hey, chief, I can't believe


You're going to eat all three scoops.


Joey, the vanilla and the chocolate


Are just to coat the throat.


Rocky road is where the gusto is.


Never forget that, joey.


Oh, right.


Who's for ice cream?


Rita, katie, stay.


Chief, I want to talk to you.


What is it?


Well, I'm not gonna try to spare you the pain.


I'm gonna give it to you straight.


Katie says she's not going to college.


She's gonna open a boutique.


Is there any club soda?


Did you hear what I just said?



I said katie's not going to college.


So? I never went to college, and I turned out all right.


Says who? Baskin and robbins?


I have confidence in katie.


If she wants to try her hand at running a business,


I don't think she should go to college.


You see there, hon?


Your daddy doesn't even think you're good enough


To go to college, but that's all right.


We'll show him, won't we, baby?


Um, dad, do you know the money


You put away for me for college?


Can I use it for my boutique?


Sure.


But you can't start a business on $ , .


We've already applied for a minority loan,


And we stand a good chance because I'm black.


You r*cist.


We're getting help from my father's accountant,


And he's jewish.


Jewish?


God, jewish people don't know anything about accounting.


Look, nell -- rita and I know what we're doing.


And you don't know anything about running a business.


I know fashion.


Fashion?


Do you think fashion is the most important thing


In running a boutique?


No, the most important thing is having a good stereo.


All right, what about location?


Well, I figured right behind the cash register.


And she's not even blond.


Leave it alone, nell.


The girls know what they're doing.


Well, you don't know what you're doing.


Well, at least our fathers are on our side.


Okay, you don't have to take my word for it,


But why don't we ask grandpapa for the wisdom of his years?


Grandpapa, your granddaughter kathleen


Has decided she's not going to college.


She's gonna open a boutique.


Now, what do you think about that, honey?


I think she should be very good at that.


Butt out, grandpapa.


Look, nell, even if wanted to go to college, I couldn't.


My grades are too low.


Yeah, not everybody should go to college.


In katie's case, not everybody should go to high school.


Thanks, guys. See?


Honey, low grades don't necessarily


Have to keep you out of college.


Now, if I can get you in in spite of your grades,


Would you at least consider it?


I can't promise anything, nell.


Good. I'll get you in.


You see, my dearest and closest friend, addy wilson,


Just so happens to have powerful connections


In the educational department.


Nell, just because addy works for the university system


Doesn't mean you can ask your best friend


To do something that's highly irregular,


Unscrupulous, and unethical.


Oh, please. What are friends for?


[ Doorbell rings ]


Nell. Honey, I have to talk to you.


I'm a little busy.


It's an emergency. It's something awful with katie.


What happened? Come in here.


Honey, katie's not going to college.


That's the emergency?


No, no, it gets worse.


She wants to open a boutique.


[ Man singing ]


Do you got a man here?


Nell, honey, we'll discuss college in the morning.


No, this can't wait till the morning.


Hi, I'm nell harper,


Addy's dearest and closest friend.


Dr. Fred robinson.


A doctor?


I'm a dentist.


Wasn't your ex-husband a dentist?


Nell, I think I hear the elevator.


No, no, honey, I can walk down later.


I have a problem here.


Okay, okay, nell. What do you want from me?


I want katie into college and not a boutique.


Nell, our university studies tell us


If a student doesn't want to be in college,


That student does not do well.


But I want her with the other gifted students.


What kind of grades does she get?


That's not important.


Go home, nell.


No, actually, she has a wonderful mind.


It's hardly ever been used.


Go home, nell.


Can't you use your influence to get her into school?


How can you ask me to use my influence


To get a girl into college who has poor grades?



Well, any jerk can get a girl into school who has good grades.


What you're asking me to do is highly unethical.


I thought you were my best friend.


I'd never ask you to do anything against your principles.


Whoa!


When you first came into town,


You begged me to fix you up with a man,


And I want you to know it is totally against my principles


To fix a woman up with a man.


Girl, you got a mouth full of teeth,


And you're lying through every one of them.


I suppose I'm lying when I say I taught you how to get a man.


How do you think you got that bozo here?


You leave that bozo out of this!


And I thought you would help me.


Oh, I'm gonna help you, honey.


I'm gonna help you out the door.


You're one cold woman, addy wilson.


No wonder your husband fell asleep


While you were lovemaking.


There must be some way to get nell and addy back together again. It's all taken care of."],…}


They haven't been speaking for three days.


Look, I told addy that nell wants to apologize.


Now I'm gonna tell nell


That addy's coming over here to apologize.


What?


Once they're together, they'll work everything out.


It's called "interpersonal group dynamics."


Let's go, katie.


Yeah.


We don't want to be here


When the interpersonal dynamics hit the fan.


Where's nell?


She's in the laundry room, fluffing and folding.


Popcorn? What's the occasion?


Me, chief, and grandpa are gonna watch


The lopez-murphy boxing match on tv.


Joey's first fight.


We're gonna show the lad two pugilists demonstrating


Their scientific skills in the masterful art of boxing.


I still say lopez will b*at his brains out.


Pop, salt is no good for you.


What do you know? You're picking lopez.


Hi.


Nell, addy's coming over to see you.


Oh, that's good, honey. I won't be here.


Nell, she's coming over to see you.


I don't want to talk to her.


[ Doorbell rings ] that's probably her right now.


I don't want to talk to her.


Nell, she's coming over to apologize.


It's not easy for a woman like addy to swallow her pride.


The two of you were kids together in alabama.


She's crawling over here on her hands and knees


Begging you not to break up a lifelong friendship


With a woman she loves.


All right.


I'll make her eat dirt.


I think I'll go hide with my sisters.


[ Doorbell rings ]


What's the rush, pop? The fight's not on yet.


This fight's gonna be better than the one on tv.


Joey, there is no better fight in the world


Than two adult women going at it.


Wow!


Round one coming up.


[ Doorbell ringing ]


Come in, addy.


Well?


Well, what?


I said "well?" First.


And I said, "well, what?" First.


They're still feeling each other out.


Addy floats like a butterfly.


All right, if you came over to apologize,


You better get on with it.


Julie said you wanted to apologize to me.


Oh, she did?


I'll just have to take care of her later.


Well, you can apologize to me now.


For what?


For barging into my apartment and ruining my evening.


God, don't you blame your lousy love life on me.


Low blow.


Your behavior was crude, embarrassing,


And, frankly, inexcusable.


Left herself wide open.


Well, it's obvious there's no talking to you.


Get your face out of my face.


You get your face out of my life.


You get your face out of my house.


Get out of my house!


Any sign of julie yet?


That is the third time in five minutes


You've asked me that.


Now, stop bugging me. I'm enjoying the obituaries.


You just let me know when she gets here.


That little liar's gonna have a nose as big as pinocchio's


When I get through with her.


Psst. Grandpa? Is nell here?



She's in there, pinocchio.


Oh.


Well, I just remembered I'm sleeping over


At my friend's house for the rest of the year.


Any sign -- oh, julie.


Nell!


Is that you?


Yes, precious.


Can we have a little chat in the kitchen?


A chat? In the kitchen? Alone?


I'd rather stay where there's a witness.


Get over here, girl.


This one won't go one round.


I'm sorry.


Who gave you the right to interfere in my life?


Nell, I was just trying to save a beautiful friendship.


It worked so well in that short story --


You button your lip, girl.


Don't you ever stick your nose in my business again.


That's telling her, nell.


Why are you on her side? I'm your granddaughter.


You know something I admire about nell?


She never sticks her nose into other people's business.


That's telling her, grandpapa.


Unless it has to do with going to college


Or opening a boutique.


Butt out, grandpapa.


Fair's fair, nell. You interfered in katie's life.


Julie interfered in your life.


That's telling her, grandpa.


Don't you understand? I promised your mother.


Isn't it every parent's dream that their kid go to college?


My parents had a dream.


You know, I come from a long line


Of polish-sausage stuffers.


And when I came of age in poland,


My father assumed that I would carry on the family tradition


And stuff sausages.


He was shocked when I told him I was going to america.


I said, "I love you, papa, but you can stuff it."


See, sometimes a child knows what it has to do


And does it.


I, um -- I think I get the point, grandpapa.


There are no guarantees in life, nell.


You make your choice and hope it turns out all right.


Of course, I've made some mistakes in life.


Here's one of them now.


Nell, I can't find anything to eat.


I'll fix you something in a minute, chief.


But first I want to give a very wise and beautiful man


A big kiss.


Don't get too lovey-dovey.


It'll k*ll my appetite.


Oh, just the person I wanted to see.


Listen, sweetheart --


Nell.


What?


I've been doing some thinking.


Oh, honey, that's terrific.


You should try to do a little of that every day.


Oh.


Well, um, I decided to go to college.


What?


Look, if you think it was that important to mom


And it's that important to you, then I'll go.


Hey, look, I made it through high school.


I can make it through college, right?


All I need to do is start dating another sexy honor student.


Um, I don't want you to go to college.


I want you to, you know, open your boutique.


What?


I was wrong, and I'm sorry.


Look, I want you to follow your own dream,


Stuff your own sausage.


What?


See, when grandpapa was young --


Never mind.


You just open your shop,


But you make sure I get % discount.


Oh, thanks, nell.


I'll make my mother proud.


I know you will.


And my mama, too.


[ Clears throat ] oh, sh**t.


What?


I'm in trouble.


I got to go over to addy's and apologize.


And I know that cow is gonna make me eat dirt.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Ad--


Addy, let me in. It's an emergency.


What do you mean, an emergency?


Something happened to grandpa.


What? Come in here!


Well, I didn't think you would fall for that a second time.


No, no, wait. Okay, okay, wait.


I want to apologize


For jeopardizing a lifelong friendship


By asking you to get katie into college.


I am very sorry. Please accept my apology.



I accept. Get out.


Here you go, darling --


Artificially sweetened cappuccino.


Hello.


Let me guess. You're a dentist.


Yes, dr. Jamal anderson.


Nell, I think I hear the elevator,


And you don't want to miss it


'Cause it's the express flight.


You act like you're still mad.


Try "furious."


Okay, okay!


I want to apologize for barging here the other night


When you had that other dentist here.


Every time I come here, there's a man here!


Just how many men do you have?


Wait a minute, buster.


I don't think that's any of your business.


You stay out of this. I'm trying to help you.


You told me I was the only man in your life.


You bought that?


What about it, addy?


Don't push it, jamal.


When I made this date with you, I was still on novocaine.


Well, when it wears off, it's gonna hurt like hell.


Get out of here!


You know, you are single-handedly wrecking


My entire love life.


What?


The only hot thing you got perking around here


Is that cappuccino, and I'm gonna have some.


[ Laughs ]


You know, you're right.


Never trust a man who admires your gums.


Oh, well. Another evening sh*t.


Thanks.


What should we do?


Mmm. I got a great idea.


Why don't we go to the movies


And pig out on popcorn and cr*cker jacks?


That stuff is terrible on your teeth.


I know.


Probably have to see another dentist in the morning.


I've been thinking of having a checkup myself.


Well... [ Clears throat ]


Let's see.


The american dental association?


[ Laughs ]


I can't tell you what joy it brings to my heart


To write this check out for your new boutique.


This'll just cover the loan deposit


On this terrific store we found.


That's wonderful, honey.


It'll be available in the fall,


And it's right across the street from the college.


Right across from the college? Hey, that's a good idea.


You know what? While you girls --


Oh, nell, don't start that now.


Just hear me out!


You can watch the shop while she goes to school


On mondays, wednesdays, and fridays.


Then you can watch the shop while she goes to school


On tuesdays, thursday, and saturdays.


Okay. Hey, hey. You know, there's night school.


You close the shop at ,


Then we can all go to school together.


No college at day. No college at night.


No college, period, right, rita?


Hey, I know when I'm licked.


Here. Here's your check.


Here you go.


Thank you.


Okay.


[ Laughs ]


Uh, nell, you didn't sign the check.


Oh, how stupid of me.


You mean you can't cash that check


If I don't sign it, right?


Okay.


How about a correspondence course?


[ Indistinct arguing ]


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break