04x01 - New Orleans: Part 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gimme a Break!" Aired: October 29, 1981 – May 12, 1987.*
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Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
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04x01 - New Orleans: Part 1

Post by bunniefuu »

Chester, I just don't want to go out with you. No, it's not your car, chester.


It's not your personality, chester.


It's your name, chester.


Katie, get off the phone.


When I'm finished.


But nell might be trying to call from new orleans.


What's your middle name, chester?


Lester, chester?!


Look, sam, nell and joey's plane hasn't even landed yet.


She's right. Got another hour to go yet.


I'm sorry.


It's just that I'm so anxious to hear from them.


I mean, nell's flying , miles to see her first love.


It's all so romantic.


What do you know about romance?


A lot more than you.


Your idea of a romantic date


Is going to a drive-in movie.


We don't just go to a drive-in movie.


Uh, let's just say it's an evening out.


And my date always buys me a pizza with everything on it.


Front seat of that car must be an awful mess.


Just imagine -- nell and charlie


Haven't seen each other in years.


I hope she's not disappointed.


Well, if it doesn't work out with good, old charlie johnson,


At least joey will have fun at the world's fair.


Maybe it will work out with nell and charlie.


Well, it usually doesn't after years.


You try to rekindle that old flame.


All you find is a dead log.


Aah! What's wrong, aunt nell?


[ Exhales ]


Oh, I just had a terrible dream.


I dreamed that when we got off the plane,


There to meet me was good, ol' charlie johnson.


I started to scream,


"I love you."


Then we started to run towards each other.


Then, all of a sudden, he stopped


And started throwing rocks at me.


Oh, that was just a dream, aunt nell.


He'll still like you.


Thanks, sweetheart.


And I'm just so nervous about seeing him again.


I know I'm being silly.


Fasten your seat belt, please.


Oh, sure thing. We've got to land, honey.


Miss? Yes?


Come here.


Do you live in new orleans?


Yes, I do.


How big are the rocks there?


♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Welcome to new orleans, folks.


I'll take care of your luggage.


Thank you.


Wow!


What a monster hotel!


Come on.


No, just wait a minute, aunt nell.


I want to be able to tell my kids about this.


[ Door closes ]


I can't see charlie looking like this.


My hair is a mess. Oh, and look at my nails.


They look like I've been digging for worms.


Joey, do you think I've changed much in the past years?


Aunt nell, I'm only years old.


Well, have I changed much in the past eight years?


Aunt nell, I've only known you for a year.


Joey, have I changed much in the past year?


Come on! Let it out! You're holding back!


Oh, forget it. I don't want to hear it anyway.


And another thing -- when a woman asks you has she changed much,


You're supposed to say, "you haven't changed a hair."


You haven't changed a hair, aunt nell.


You mean that, sweetheart?


I mean it.


I believe you.


Good. Can we go to the fair now?


In just a minute, honey.


I just want to change my lipstick.


Joey, do you think this is too red?


It's supposed to be red, isn't it?


Why am I asking you?


What do you know about color coordination?



Room service?


Yes, this is mr. Diamond in room .


I'd like to order a cheeseburger --


Give me that.


I'm sorry -- wrong number.


What are you doing?


I'm ordering a cheeseburger.


I mean, just look at all the neat things


You can get in this place.


You can't have a cheeseburger. It'll ruin your dinner.


How about a massage?


Give me that.


A massage.


Look -- the important thing is that I look good for charlie.


Yeah, but can't we just go to the fair?


Yeah, come on.


Great! Can we go on the monorail first?


No, first you're going downstairs to the beauty salon.


The beauty salon? You already did your hair.


Yeah, I know, honey, but I don't like it.


First I want to get my hair done,


And then I want to get a manicure


And then possibly a pedicure.


Come on. What's a pedicure?


Well, that's like a manicure for the toenails.


I'm not going.


Nobody's touching my feet.


Oh, honey, I know you want to go to the fair, but look --


Lookee here.


This is a picture of charlie when I first met him.


Oh, I was so in love with him, and I think I still am.


You see, honey, for the past years,


I've been dreaming of meeting him again.


That's why I got to look perfect when I see him.


Aunt nell, charlie johnson will think you're prettier than ever,


'Cause you haven't changed a hair in years.


Oh, joey, what a sweet thing to say.


Anything to get to the fair.


Give me that.


Get out. Get out.


[ Foghorn blows ]


Oh, joey, the doorman was right.


Isn't this a fun way to come to the fair?


Yeah!


Wow, what a monster fair!


[ Laughs ] and you know what?


Somewhere in that fair is good, old charlie johnson,


And I know that when I see him, I'm just gonna...


[ Foghorn blows ]


What did you say?


Never mind.


[ Calliope music playing ]


@ [ Gasps ] joey, joey, this is it.


This is it.


The place where charlie johnson plays.


Oh, couldn't we go in later?


We still haven't seen the fair.


I'm not gonna go through this crowd


And take a chance at somebody wrinkling my dress,


Mussing my hairdo, or stepping on my $ pedicure.


[ Indistinct singing ]


Uh, excuse me, miss.


Do you know where I might find charlie johnson?


He's a piano player.


Let's see -- um...he has thick, wavy hair --


Well, if he's still got all his hair.


But he's real lean and wiry --


Well, he could have put on a few pounds.


Anyway, girl, he's got this big, flashy smile --


Well, that is, if he's still got all his teeth.


Well, if he's with the jazz group, honey,


They just broke for lunch.


Great! Now can we go see the fair?


Joey, I done told you -- I'm not getting all messed up.


It cost me a fortune to look this good.


It cost me a cheeseburger and a massage.


I'm not having any fun.


I want to go see the monster ferris wheel,


Eat some cotton candy.


You stop talking that way right now.


Can't you think of anybody but yourself?


Now you stop it before you make yourself cry.


Because if you cry, I cry.


And if you make me cry, my mascara runs.


And if my mascara runs,


I'm gonna really give you something to cry about.


Uh, miss --


Don't you tell me what -- this is my child!


Why are you helping this lady? You don't even know this woman!


You shut up! Don't you tell me what to do!


Oh, I sure hope you know how to sing gospel,


Because you are standing in my spot...


Don't you tell me...


[ Intro to "ev'ry time I feel the spirit" plays ]


♪ Ev'ry time I feel the spirit


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I will pray


♪ Yes, ev'ry time I feel the spirit ♪


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I will pray



♪ Upon a mountain, my lord spoke ♪


♪ Out of his mouth came fire and smoke ♪


♪ All around me it looked so fine ♪


♪ I asked my lord if all was mine ♪


♪ Ev'ry time I feel the spirit


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I will pray


♪ Yes, ev'ry time I feel the spirit ♪


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I will pray


♪ Upon a mountain, my lord spoke ♪


♪ Out of his mouth came fire and smoke ♪


♪ All around me it looked so fine ♪


♪ I asked my lord if all was mine ♪


♪ Ev'ry time I feel the spirit


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I will pray


♪ Yes, ev'ry time I feel the spirit ♪


♪ Moving in my heart


♪ I


♪ Will


[ Cheers and applause ]


♪ Pray


[ Cheers and applause ]


Joey, I just --


Joey?


Joey?


Joey donovan. Hey, look, aunt nell.


Don't you ever run away from me again!


You scared me half to death!


Here, take one. I don't want it.


Come on. They're terrific. I don't want it.


Just a taste? No!


I could hear that singing.


Charlie johnson could tell that voice anywhere.


Nell harper.


Charlie.


You never heard her? No. Well, now you have.


Well, um, I hope I look a little better.


I hope it didn't take me too long.


No problem.


Joey and I were just getting acquainted.


Yeah. I told him all about how my uncle jerry


Dumped me in glen lawn, how I met you,


And how you and the kanisky family


Took me in as a foster son.


Yeah. And then he told me about glen lawn,


His school, his room,


And we were just getting into how gertrude, your goldfish,


Is in the family way.


Gertrude is pregnant again?


That animal.


Just because you got to wash cotton candy off your face


Does not mean life doesn't go on.


Now that he's seen your clean face, aunt nell,


Would it be okay if you had a little fun?


Oh, charlie...


Joey's been waiting a long time to see the fair.


Yeah?


Okay, joey, you'll see the fair.


And then I'll give you a tour of new orleans.


You and I are gonna have ourselves a ball.


And, nell. Yeah?


Sweetface, you haven't changed a hair in years.


Oh, get out of here.


Good, old charlie johnson!


You hit it right on the nose!


Here we go. Come on.


Thank you.


[ Calliope music playing ]


Charlie now, this is the place.


Now, wait till you hear this jazz.


Come on in here.


Come on. Come on.


[ "When the saints go marching in" plays ]


[ Drum solo ]


[ Band resumes ]


[ Cheers and applause ]


Ladies and gentlemen, there will be a -minute intermission.


Hey, jesse!


Hey, charlie, my man, my man!


All right, all right, all right.


That was all the way live.


Yes, sir. Yes, sir.


[ Laughs ]


How you doing?


You know what, joey?


This is the kind of place


Your aunt nell used to sing in years ago.


Really?


Wow! What a monster jazz joint!


Yeah. She was something else.


She used to get so nervous onstage.


What?


I've never been nervous in my life.


Oh, boy, you should have seen her hair this morning --


[ Laughs ]


Not now, sweetheart.


And pedicure and --


[ Laughs ]



You know how this child loves to talk.


Anyway, I was just nervous about seeing you.


But I've never been nervous onstage.


You'd get so nervous you used to start stuttering.


And if you remember, nell,


I'd have to hold your hand before you'd loosen up


And really let go.


And if you will remember,


That was later on, after the show, when...


...when we would go for coffee.


Aunt nell, can I please go get some autographs from the band?


Yeah, honey, go ahead.


Can I please borrow your pen, mister?


Sure, kid.


[ Soft piano music plays ]


Now that's pretty.


It's like old times, huh, nell?


Like old times, charlie.


Remember kansas city?


Uh-huh.


St. Louis?


Mm-hmm.


Baltimore?


We never played baltimore.


That must have been another singer.


Say what?


He was a baritone.


Well, I hope you didn't go to coffee with him.


Yeah, a lot of great memories, nell.


Yeah.


Every time you'd come out onstage and sing,


I'd fall in love with you all over again.


Wow, what a monster thing to say.


Hey, we had a monster thing going.


Yeah, we were bad.


That good?


That good, and that was bad.


Maybe we can be bad again.


That might be good.


You still sing in "e" flat?


Charlie, I don't want to sing.


Come on.


Come on, now. I want to be in love again.


I couldn't.


Why not?


All those people.


Forget the people.


Just look in my eyes and sing it to good, old charlie johnson.


[ Intro to "'tain't nobody's business if I do" plays ]


♪ If I should take a notion ♪


♪ To jump into the ocean


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


Sing it, nellie.


♪ If I go to church on sunday ♪


♪ Then cabaret all day on monday ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


All right.


♪ If my friend ain't got no money ♪


♪ Then I say, "hey, take all of mine, honey" ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


♪ If I give him my last nickel ♪


♪ And that leaves me in a pickle ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


All right, gentlemen, let's take them to the bridge!


♪ There ain't nothing I can do or nothing I can say ♪


♪ That folks don't criticize me ♪


♪ But I'm gonna do just what I want to do anyway ♪


♪ And don't care if they despise me ♪


♪ If I work and come home dragging ♪


♪ Then stay out all night ragging ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


♪ It ain't nobody's business if I do ♪


[ Cheers and applause ]


One more time.


♪ There ain't nothing I can do or nothing I can say ♪


♪ That folks don't criticize me ♪


♪ But I'm gonna do just what I want to do anyway ♪


♪ And don't care if they despise me ♪


♪ If I work and come home dragging ♪


♪ Then stay out all night ragging ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business if I do ♪


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business


♪ Ain't nobody's business


♪ 'Tain't nobody's business


I love this.


♪ If I do


Hey!


[ Cheers and applause ]


Hey, charlie, I don't know who she is,


But you can bring her back anytime.


Yes, sir.


Now we'll take a real intermission.


Nobody sings like you, aunt nell.


Oh, thank you, honey.


Wow.


The kid's right, nell.


You should have never given up singing.


Well... I miss it sometimes.


But I have a wonderful family.


But of course, the girls are growing up and...



Maybe you can start a new life.


I-i still have joey.


You know, he's really a special kind of kid.


[ Chuckles ]


I like kids.


Marry me, nell.


Say what?


Marry me.


Marry you?


Yeah. Marry me.


Charlie, just what do you mean by that?


I mean... Here's the church.


Here's the steeple.


Open it up, and here's the people,


And they're all ready to throw the rice, nell.


Just marry me, baby.


Oh, marry you? That kind of marry you?


Oh. Oh, wow.


Oh, boy.


What is it, honey?


Aunt nell, that man.


What about that man, baby?


I think that's my father.


Joey?


Dad?


Joey!


Dad!


Joey!


Joey.


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break
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