4x11 - Baby of the Family

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Gimme a Break!" Aired: October 29, 1981 – May 12, 1987.*
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Nell Harper is the no-nonsense housekeeper and surrogate mother for police chief Carl Kanisky's children: Samantha, Julie and Katie.
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4x11 - Baby of the Family

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Nell, did you ever wonder what the difference was


Between frosting and icing?


Sure, julie, I think about it at least twice a day.


Well, time to go. I guess this is goodbye.


Goodbye.


Nell, I'm going camping for three days.


Don't I get a hug or something?


I've hugged a kid today. Will you please move?


I have a million things to do


For the church luncheon today.


Now, you be careful in the woods,


And don't get sassy with any wild animals.


Oh, if any animals bother me,


Eric will take care of them.


Freeze.


What is this about eric?


Oh, didn't I tell you?


All the girls are bringing their dates.


Oh, that's different.


Forget it. You can't go anywhere.


Nell, I called the bakery.


Icing and frosting are the same thing,


But icing is more commonly used.


I want you to write that down, then eat the paper.


Come on, nell. It's not my fault.


It was supposed to be just girls,


But then mary lou decided to bring her boyfriend,


And then stacy, her boyfriend.


And don't you understand?


If I show up alone, they're gonna think I'm a nerd.


And I'm your fairy godmother.


You're sam the nerd.


They told me reverend winfield loves horseradish.


Nell, you got frosting all over me!


Joey, where have you been?


You're supposed to be learning the words to that song.


Nell, stop treating me like a baby.


I'm not. I'm treating you like a nerd.


Note from the teacher.


Freeze. What?


If I don't go on that camping trip, I'm gonna k*ll myself.


Do it quietly in the other room.


I have to read this note from joey's teacher.


What's more important, his stupid note or my life?


Oh, I don't mind, aunt nell.


Forget the note, and let's get back to sam's life.


Shut up, joey.


Don't take it out on the child.


He's always butting in.


I didn't mean to butt in. Stay out of it, joey!


Don't yell at this child! Yeah!


Why are you always on his side?


I don't care what you say, nell. I'm going on that trip.


Wrong.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Hey, I'm going camping next week.


Drop dead.


Addy, what are you doing here?


Reverend winfield asked me to run a few errands


For the church luncheon.


Oh, sure he did. You are so transparent.


Now, just what is that supposed to mean?


Two things -- he's single, and he's good-looking.


The whole congregation is talking


About the way you're chasing after that man.


Oh, really?


And what about the way


You're making a fool of yourself over him?


"Yes, reverend winfield."


"Oh, I'd lo-o-o-o-ve to, revered winfield."


Saying "yes" and "I'd lo-o-ve to" to a man


Does not make you a fool unless you are addy wilson


At the glen lawn singles club.


Did you make the cake for the church luncheon?


The cake!


Aunt nell, can I go to the bathroom?


No.


Oh, if this isn't the frosting on the cake --


Actually -- shut up.


Nell, do you really mean I can't go camping?


What do I have to say to get through to you?


Well, let's just see what daddy has to say about this.


Nell, let me explain about the robes.


Addy, can't you see that I'm busy?


Can I go to the bathroom?



Joey, if this is a bad note from your teacher,


I may never let you go to the bathroom as long as you live.


Nell, I volunteered you to press these choir robes


For the church luncheon.


You did what?


The reverend thought it was very generous


Of you to offer.


Addy, I don't have time.


Oh, well, I'll just tell the reverend


You just don't have the time for him.


I don't like you for this, addy.


You better hurry up. Only got an hour. Bye.


Julie, katie, get in here!


Katie, bring your travel iron! Julie, bring the ironing board!


I want you to help me iron some robes!


You lust after one minister, and god gets you.


I really have to go real bad.


In a minute! Julie, katie, I'm waiting!


I can't believe this.


Neither can i.


Well, it's all settled. Daddy said I could go.


Say what? I wish I could go.


I'm late. I got to get going.


Samantha, have a nice time camping.


Freeze.


Chief, did samantha tell you boys are going


On this camping trip and there are no chaperons?


Samantha, you're grounded for years.


Thanks a lot, nell.


Boy, are you in trouble.


Yeah, well, you're in trouble, too.


I am not.


Oh, yes, you are.


This note says you've been dozing off in school.


I'm not dozing. I'm thinking with my eyes shut.


Joey.


The reason why he can't stay awake is because


I've seen him sneak down here at night and watch johnny carson.


Sam, you told on me!


You know what I think?


Don't think. Iron.


No more staying up late and watching johnny carson.


From now on, I want you in bed and fast asleep by .


Do you know how early I had to go to bed


When I was your age?!


How early was it?!


Get out of my face. Get out of here.


You're not fair, nell.


You let him get away with m*rder.


Come on, samantha. He's a baby.


You can't stay mad at him.


Baby? He's nothing but a spoiled brat.


I don't think I like your tone of voice.


Yeah, well, you punish me all the time,


But you never punish him.


You're a hypocrite.


Go to your room.


I'll go where I want.


I hate you!


Don't you dare sl-- [ door slams ]


Slam that door.


She hates me.


You raise a child, and you give them love,


And what do you get in return?


Hate.


[ Door opens ]


We'll put the robes in the car, nell.


Sam, you better go in and fix things up with nell.


I'm staying right here until she apologizes to me.


We'll see you next spring.


Hey, aunt nell, do you want to hear the song


I'm singing for your church luncheon?


I would love to.


Honey, if you sing that at my church,


My heart's gonna stop.


Joey, I thought you were gonna do


My favorite al jolson song -- "toot, toot, tootsie!"


Oh, do we have to do that one?


I want to be like michael jackson.


Joey, in my church, you'd better be like jesse jackson.


Joey, you better look that over.


Nell...


The library's at fourth and elm.


That's good, honey.


Now you can get a card.


For what?


Is she still on the porch?


Uh-huh.


[ Sighs ]


[ Dog barking in distance ]


Well...are we going to talk about it,


Or are you going to spend the rest of your life out here?


I guess I should have told you about it earlier --


Shh!


Joey ♪ toot, toot, tootsie, goodbye


Excuse me. I want to hear the baby sing.


♪ Don't cry


[ Door slams ]


Hey, sam,


Do you want to hear me sing "toot, toot, tootsie!"?



No, I do not want to hear you sing


"Toot, toot, tootsie!"


You're still mad at me? Yes.


You gonna hit me? No.


Thanks.


I'd sure like to surprise aunt nell.


I wish I could do it like al jolson.


Yeah, she'd be surprised, all right.


As a matter of fact...


I think nell deserves a surprise.


Come on, joey, I'll help you get ready.


Wow, thanks, sam.


♪ How great thou a-a-a-a-a-rt


♪ How great thou art


♪ And when I think


♪ When I think


♪ That god sent his son


♪ Sent him to die


♪ Ooh ♪ I scarcely can take it in


♪ Ooh ♪ that on that cross


♪ Bled and d*ed, he bled


♪ Oh, oh ♪ he bled and di-i-i-i-i-ed


♪ To take away all my sin


♪ Then sings my soul


♪ My savior, god, to thee


♪ How great thou art


♪ Oh, that jesus


♪ How great thou art


♪ Then sings my soul


♪ My savior god


♪ Ooh, to thee


♪ How great thou a-a-a-a-a-rt


♪ How great


♪ Thou


♪ A-a-a-a-a-rt


♪ Ooh


[ Cheers and applause ]


Marvelous.


Absolutely marvelous. [ Laughs ]


Well, I see that dessert and coffee is ready,


So, everybody, please, help yourselves.


You are blessed with a wonderful voice.


Why, thank you, reverend winfield.


Yes, it has held up remarkably well.


Yes, my voice, your face.


Ms. Harper, didn't you want to


Discuss the plans for additional pews?


No, I'm on the cracked bell.


I'm on pews. Nell's on bells.


[ Laughs ]


Which, by the way, are not fixed.


Addy, I got sidetracked by the pothole in the parking lot.


Well, how long does it take to fill in a pothole?


Addy, will you give me a break?


I am bells, robes, and potholes.


All you got is p-pews.


Ladies, ladies, you're both doing wonderful work.


Oh, reverend, my little boy, joey,


Wanted to be a part of today.


He's the one that discovered the potholes


In the parking lot.


Anyway, he wanted to do something special


For our new minister.


He wants to sing you a song.


There's nothing sweeter than a child's voice lifted in song.


Well, he's even got some big surprise.


The kid wouldn't let me see him get dressed.


I'll get him.


All right.


Joey, you ready?


Joey ready to go, aunt nell.


Ladies and gentlemen, please sit down.


Mama, sit, please.


And now with something specially prepared for you


Is my little boy, joey.


[ "Toot, toot, tootsie! (Goodbye)" plays ]


♪ Toot, toot, tootsie, goodbye


♪ Toot, toot, tootsie, don't cry ♪


♪ The choo-choo train that takes me ♪


♪ Away from you


♪ No words can tell how sad it makes me ♪


♪ Kiss me, tootsie, and then


♪ Do it over again


♪ Watch for the ma--


What are you doing, aunt nell?!


Addy, do you know anything about bells and potholes?


Everything.


Didn't I sing good?


Don't you realize you were making fun of black people?


But why? I was just imitating al jolson.


He was a black singer.


He wasn't black.


Why did sam say everyone would love it?


[ Sighs ]


Did sam put you up to this?


Come on.


Samantha!


Samantha, get out --


Samantha, get down here!


Samantha!



Aunt nell, are they gonna kick you out of this church


Because of what I did?


No, honey, but they'll probably make me sit


In the parking lot during sunday service.


Can't god hear you from the parking lot?


Well, honey, I got a bumper sticker


That says, "honk if you love jesus."


I guess now I'm gonna get that chance.


Samantha!


Aunt nell, are you gonna hit her?


Hi, nell, what do you want?


Look at what you did to this child!


Aunt nell, I'm getting dizzy.


I'm sorry. Go upstairs and wash your face.


I want to talk to samantha alone.


Samantha.


Don't you dare eat cottage cheese while I'm yelling at you.


What's the matter?


Didn't all your church friends love cute, little joey?


This has nothing to do with joey.


This is between you and me.


No, it's not!


All you care about is joey --


Joey's report card, joey's song, joey's this.


You are being a baby!


I'm not your baby anymore.


He is.


Don't you dare start crying on me.


I never thought that I would live to see the day


When you would use the word "n*gg*r."


Nell, that's horrible.


I would never say that.


Well, you might as well have.


Because that's what you did by putting joey in blackface.


You offended me and a lot of other decent black people.


I didn't mean to.


[ Sighs ]


I just wanted to get back at you...and joey.


Mm-hmm.


Well, you know what you're going to do?


You're gonna go over to that church


And apologize to addy, reverend winfield,


And everyone in that congregation.


All right, nell.


And you are grounded for two weeks.


All right, nell.


And you know what you're going to do


During those two weeks?


What?


You're going to fill in the potholes


In the church parking lot.


All right, nell.


And, samantha...


[ Inhales deeply ]


You should know that I never loved you


Because you were the baby.


I loved you because you were samantha.


[ Sniffles ]


You're not just saying that?


I'm not just saying that.


Come here.


[ Sniffles ]


Samantha, look, you want to be treated like an adult,


But yet you don't want to give up your place


As baby of the family.


You can't have it both ways.


Why not?


Because that's the way things are.


But you said when you were my age,


You hated your little sister.


I'm still not crazy about her.


[ Sniffling ]


Nell, I'll go to your church.


But the first person I want to apologize to...


...is you.


[ Sniffles ]


I accept your apology.


I'm sorry.


[ Clears throat ]


The shovel for the pothole is in the garage.


Joey...i want to apologize to you, too.


Oh, it's okay, sam.


I tried to figure out why you did it.


So I read your diary, and I think I can understand now.


My diary?


You little --


Baby, please.


You little baby.


Gd;s ♪ gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break
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