05x10 - Nell's New Car

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


Aunt nell, there's a swap meet today.


Can you drop me and grandpa off at the fairgrounds?


I'm sorry, I'm late for a luncheon with jacki and addy.


Jacki?


Oh, yeah. That's angie's sister.


They got one brain between the two of them,


And today is jacki's turn to use it.


Oh, come on, aunt nell.


Give us a ride on down to the swap meet.


Yeah, we love to watch the bmw owners


Buy back their stolen tape decks.


Yeah.


I'm sorry, guys. I'm late.


I really can't do it.


All right, joey, come on.


We'll take our bikes.


I'll race you!


You're on!


But I need the car.


Sam, I'm having a sale at the shop, and I need that car.


I'm pregnant!


You guys, I walked all the way over here


Just to borrow that car, and now I can't have it?


My prenatal care is considerably more important


Than your incredibly stupid sock sale.


Julie, they are not stupid socks.


They are norma kamali anklets.


I'm pregnant. I need the car.


I need to get down to the shop.


If I don't get there, I'm not gonna be able --


[ Whistle blows ]


Would you girls please stop it?


You're breaking my heart.


You know I hate to see you argue over that car.


Now, in the past, I've tried to lead you


With wisdom and guidance, is that right?


Together well...


Well, I've tried to point you in the right direction,


Haven't i?


Well...


I'm taking the car.


Nell!


Get out of here. You make me sick.


Get in the car.


Hi, girls.


I'm sorry I'm late.


Oh, that's okay. We went ahead and ordered.


I got crab. I just love crab.


You have a funny way of showing affection, girl.


Well, what happened to you?


Oh, honey, it was just your usual madhouse.


Addy, I swear to you,


Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a bunch of wild hyenas.


Weren't they the opening act for lionel richie?


No, no.


So tell me, how do you like your new job?


Oh, well, professor stanley


Is really tough on faculty advisors.


He demands you keep a low profile.


But the extra money I'm making --


Sensational! Ooh!


Now that you have extra money,


What are you gonna do with your paycheck?


Come on. Honey, I already spent it.


I bought a new car.


Get out of here. You did?


Oh, addy, that's wonderful.


Well, what are you gonna do with your old car?


I'm buying it.


Uh, thank you.


You're buying addy's car?


Mm-hmm.


You sold her your convertible?


Well, she offered me $,.


That's only $ below blue book,


So it saves me the hassle of trying to sell it myself.


Y-y-you're getting her car?


Oh!


Oh, look, you'd better run to the ladies' room


And wash that off.


Someone want to go with me?


Oh, sure.


No! I mean, no, I need to talk to you.


But I've never gone to the ladies' room alone.


All right. Come on.



Miss, would you please go to the ladies' room with her?


She needs a partner.


Of course.


I've been in that spot myself.


She'll be right back.


So, you're selling jacki your car, huh?


Nell, is something wrong?


Uh, tell me, addy,


We've been friends since we were like years old?


That's right.


We've been friends since the first day we met, right?


That's the day bobby joe totter


Tried to give me that tattoo.


Yeah, and I stopped him.


I was always saving your ugly face from something,


Wasn't i?


Do you remember the time that you told your mama


You were spending the night with me,


But you really snuck out with billy dristol?


I covered for you.


I remember when my mama found out I lied.


She grounded me for a whole month.


So then you ended up going to my junior prom


With my boyfriend.


Well...


You were rotten then, and you are rotten now.


Rotten, rotten, rotten, rotten to the core.


Nell, what are you going on about?


Oh, please!


"Nell, what are you going on about?"


I should have known that one day,


You, addy wilson, my oldest --


That's right, god, you're old --


My oldest and dearest friend,


Would one day sell the only car I ever wanted


Right from under me.


Nell, you already have a car.


I got no car!


Katie has a car, julie has a car,


Grandpapa, sam, and joey, but I got none.


[ Crying ] addy, please, I need your car!


Please, I want your car!


Please! Thank you.


Nell.


Yeah?


I already promised the car to jacki.


Oh.


So those tears didn't mean nothing to you,


Did they?


You are a rotten, rotten, rotten...


Thought you might like to have a fresh mallet.


Look, nell, if you want the car,


You're gonna have to talk to jacki.


I don't care who buys it as long as I get my $,,


But leave me out of it.


What happened to my crab?


Shh! Keep it down.


Addy's trying to keep a low profile.


Come go to the ladies' room with me.


I've just come back from there.


But I hate to go alone.


You know, you really are lucky to be getting addy's car.


Well, yeah.


It's my first major appliance.


I wish I had a convertible.


I wish I had a car where you could let the top down.


That way, grandpapa wouldn't keep bopping his head


Every time he has to sit on katie's lap.


Couldn't he sit on somebody with a lower lap?


You know,


One car is just not enough for a family of six.


I mean, take today for example.


My poor sweet, innocent, pregnant julie.


She had a doctor's appointment,


And she was going to walk


Because she knew that I needed the car.


She was gonna walk six long miles...


...up a hill.


Hallelujah.


Through the snow.


Really?


Yeah.


But I just can't help wondering


What would happen


If I were out in our only car --


Donating blood --


And grandpapa needed to go to social security,


And julie's time came.


Poor baby.


She would be stranded.


She should carry a beeper.


You know,


Julie would probably start to walk


All the way to the hospital.


With her luck, she probably wouldn't make it.


Can you imagine her going into labor


Right on the corner of th and elm,


Right in front of bob's big boy?


That would be awful


'Cause if it was a boy,



Then you'd have to name him bob.


Exactly.


That was exactly the point I was trying to make, jacki.


That was exactly it.


You know, nell, you should get another car.


But, jacki,


I can't afford to pay over $, for a car.


Why don't you buy addy's?


But I can't.


I mean, she already promised it to you, jacki.


Oh, that's okay. Go ahead and take it.


You sure?


Sure. I like taking the bus.


You never know who you're gonna run into.


I met my first husband on a bus,


And his wife.


[ Whistle blowing ]


Can I have your attention?


I just gave addy wilson


A $ deposit on her convertible.


It is mine.


You got a convertible?


We can use our car!


[ Shouting indistinctly ]


Remember me on mother's day!


Nell, buying addy's car


Was the dumbest thing you ever did.


Why?


Well, in poland, we have a saying --


"Never buy a goat from a friend."


I learned it the hard way.


I did buy a goat from a friend in krakow.


I don't want to hear about your goats.


Hold on now.


There's a point to all this.


I bought the goat from a friend in krakow,


And the day after I bought the goat, it d*ed.


It's hard to get feta cheese from a dead goat.


Grandpapa, there is a big difference


Between a goat and a car.


Well, they both have horns, don't they?


[ Laughs ]


I'd better get a move on.


Where are you going?


Well, I'm going down to get my springsteen tickets


Before .


You can go in my new old car.


Wait till you get in. It is wonderful.


Oh, nell, I want to go home.


We've been driving around for hours.


Oh, grandpapa, come on. It's such a lovely day.


Yeah, I know,


But we've gone past the nursing home


Four times already,


And I'm just afraid that brazen hussy mrs. Coolman


May get the idea that I'm cruising.


Okay, we'll head for home.


I want to give this little baby a bath, anyway.


[ Engine sputters ]


Nell...


Nell, did I ever tell you about the time


I bought a goat in krakow?


$,?


I don't believe this.


$, To fix that car.


Where am I gonna get that kind of money from?!


Poor addy.


Poor addy?


What's addy got to do with it?


Well, you know how sensitive addy is.


I know she's gonna offer to give me my money back


When she finds out what happened.


I'll get my camera. I'd like a picture of that.


[ Doorbell rings ]


I she doesn't give me my money back,


I'll eat my hat.


That's what the goat ate just before he d*ed.


Hi, nell. I'm sorry I took so long,


But I was in a meeting with professor stanley.


You know, as conservative and straitlaced as he is,


He's still approves of all my new ideas.


Just have to remember to keep that low profile.


He fired lois pendleton


For laughing too loud in the cafeteria.


[ Crying ]


Addy.


Oh, addy, addy, addy!


Is something wrong, nell?


Oh, addy.


Addy, I just feel so sorry for you.


Your cute little convertible...d*ed.


Oh, my goodness! What happened?


Grandpapa and I were out, riding along.


All of a sudden, there was this noise,


And the engine started smoking.


It just collapsed!


How awful!


That was before the electrical system


Caught on fire.


It b*rned my gorgeous snakeskin bag.



Not the royal blue clutch?


That's another thing. It went out, too.


I just don't know where you're gonna get $,


To fix up your cute little convertible.


You mean your cute little convertible.


No, I mean your cute little convertible.


[ Laughs ] no, honey.


I sold that cute little convertible to you


This afternoon.


Darling, I have had coffee breaks


That have lasted longer than that car.


Well, babycakes,


I'm sure you've heard the latin phrase,


"Caveat emptor" -- let the buyer beware.


Well, sweetface,


I'm sure you've heard the latin saying,


"E pluribus unum."


Now, you give me back my money.


No!


Yes!


You have a pink slip


That proves that you have the ownership.


Well, honey,


When you pay me the money you owe me,


You can have the pink slip.


I'll be at home.


Hold it!


If I were going to give you your money,


Which I am not,


I wouldn't have a way over to your apartment anyway


'Cause I don't have a car.


Then ride your broom.


You want me to put sugar in her gas t*nk?


Oh, grandpapa, please grow up.


Addy, this is nell.


You know how much I hate talking


To your stupid answering machine instead of you,


But what I have to say can't wait.


I'm real sorry about the argument we just had, okay?


Why don't we meet tomorrow at lunch at skipper dwayne's,


Um, say, about noon?


My treat.


And, addy,


I want you to know that you and our friendship,


Well, it means more to me


Than anything in the world, okay?


How could you do this to me?


Would you like to go across the street


And talk about it over lunch?


And leave the car here with this lemon on it?


No way.


Okay. Oh, look there!


There's professor stanley's wife.


Yoo-hoo, mrs. Stanley!


Stop it!


Lunch sounding better to you?


Oh, all right. Let's go.


Okay. Come on.


And remember, happy hour starts every day at .


You had to paint a lemon on the other side, too?


Two for lunch, please.


We're out of crab...


And mallets.


That's okay, I'm in the mood for chicken --


Lemon chicken.


Can we have that table right there?


And could we have two ice teas...


With lemon?


Nell, you are not going to get away with this.


How would you like some shrimp cocktail with lemon?


I'm not hungry.


But won't you try that desert,


Some of that delicious lemon cream pie?


If you run out of lemons,


You can run across the street and squeeze my car.


Would you stop it?


Give me back my money, addy.


No way.


Please give her back her money.


You're upsetting the other customers.


Does anyone here own a cute little convertible


With a lemon on it?


She does. She does.


Sorry to tell you this,


But there's been a slight mishap.


What happened?


It's been sideswiped by a cement truck,


All four sides.


Give me back my money, addy.


You...


[ Moaning ]


Is something wrong, nell?


No.


Pbht!


Come on, nell.


It's addy, isn't it?


No.


Well, if you're gonna drag it out of me...


It is addy.


I mean, I feel so terrible about this whole thing.



Aren't you gonna listen to me?


I am pouring out my heart to you.


Any decent human being would be hanging on my every word.


And you're gonna have a baby?


I feel sorry for that child.


What seems to be the trouble, nell?


Well, if you really want to know...


It is addy.


I haven't talked to her in over a week.


I called her like five times,


But she just hasn't called me back.


I feel terrible.


Well, the car she sold you did fall apart.


I know, but it was all my fault.


I mean, grandpapa was right.


You should never buy a goat from a friend.


Well, aren't you upset about losing your purse?


Oh, I loved that bag.


But what's an $ purse


Compared to a lifelong friendship?


Well, actually, you bought that purse on sale,


So you didn't lose as much as you think.


[ Doorbell rings ]


I had money in the purse,


So that brings it up to $ if you count,


But who cares?


Hi, addy.


Addy hi, julie.


Nell, can we talk?


Sure.


I'll go upstairs.


But just remember, you're both okay.


You're okay, and you're okay.


And whatever happens, it's okay, okay?


Çcçcçcçcç okay. Okay.


I'm not okay, addy.


I'm not, either.


Let me get this off my chest before I lose my nerve, okay?


Look, you were right.


After all, you did tell me, "let the buyer beware."


You even told me in two languages.


But, nell, you had a right to expect more for your money.


No, I --


Here.


What's this?


It's your $ deposit.


No, no. No, addy, I can't accept this.


No, thank you.


But, nell, you bought the car in good faith.


Who knows what went wrong?


Maybe I should have had the oil checked


Once in a while.


I love you, addy.


I love you, too.


I'm so lucky I have you as my very best friend, addy.


Well, I'm gonna buy my best friend dinner


'Cause I can afford it now, nell.


The insurance company paid me $,.


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break